must.kill.husband.

because now i have a cough due to cold.

a lovely feeling of tightness in my chest.

bit of a sore throat.

it must be love.

my good-night thought...

i received this in my "Bulk" email folder today..from Wilfred Troike:
"You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to use a dirkra, but the documentation..."

what the blankety-blank is a dirkra?

file this under the "Serves Me Right" file...

for whatever reason..i've had an urge to cook.

not dinner. i'm already tired of cooking every.bloody.night. lately i've been all about baking and stuff like that.

so in honor of chocolate cake day, i decided to go looking for a from scratch chocolate cake recipe...and found one that uses buttermilk.

it.is.good.

one of the instructions was to add a teaspoon of baking soda in a cup of buttermilk, then let it rest in a warm spot. so i added. and stirred. and licked the fork after mixing.

can we say nasty?

i love buttermilk. it's soul food from the other Land of My People ( i have two lands: Oregon[my mom] and Missouri [my grandmother]. but buttermilk and baking soda? bleah.

so what have we learned today?

1. snacking is wrong.
2. buttermilk chocolate cake is good.
3. snacking while cooking is wrong, but snacking after cooking is A-OK joe.

in other news...

for those of you who have asked, i thank you, and yes, he's still sick. he actually called his doctor and has an appointment Wednesday. (my mom has it as well...lucky her)all i can say is that if his doctor doesn't give him a prescription for super-ultra-heavy-duty cough syrup, i may either be a widow or divorced. the Boy has a cough that is so horrible, it makes me want to hurl.

keeping my fingers crossed that he heals quick. before i have to move out.

if you have kids or critters, this is for you.

Not being the kid parent (but instead the auntie & uncle that are fun & spoil everyone up the wazoo), but a critter parent, does have advantages. And many heartaches.

But there are still worries..and although they don't compare to having a human child, our little furbabies can still conjure up sleepless nights.

Or - it can involve you chasing your dang cat around the dang apartment because you know something's wrong, dang it.

Thankfully, not seriously wrong.

Elvis the Evil came running out from the room where we keep his food, water & loo. He would run, stop, squat, then run again. Being the alert parent that i am, i proceeded to chase him around the place with a wad of toilet paper, thinking something was stuck.

Sure enough...a little turd still attached to his bum by a blade of grass.

Now you may wonder how it can be that an indoor cat has grass...well, the grocery store i frequent sells kitty grass, and this boy of mine will climb up my leg when i come home with it.
He knows. And it's good for him, helps in his digestion and also doesn't seem to hurt in the furball department. It does seem to keep the production down.

Believe me, kids, you haven't seen comedy until you seen me chasing after a cat with a turd hanging off his butt, while the cat is wondering what the blank my problem is, that i'm so fascinated with said butt.

You just can't make this stuff up.

they don't make Hallmark cards for these dates...

Today is:

• Daisy Day
• Blueberry Pancake Day
• International Make Your Point Day

My point..and i do have one...is that i love daisies but have never created a daisy chain. i LOVE pancakes, but am not that crazy about blueberry pancakes.

So i've celebrated all three in less than two minutes.

Now - if i plan this right, the Husband & i can feast here. (the Dutch pancake is my favorite. yum-o)The place is always busy. The hot chocolate is good, the real whipped cream on top is even better.

Did i mention the Dutch pancake?

Happy Sunday. Find a little happiness in unexpected places.

Huzzah!!

this is gonna be my most favorite day EVAH!

January 27 - chocolate cake day

(i would've inserted a clip art of a chocolate cake, but i couldn't find one i liked that was free.
what can i say...i'm cheap)

i shall celebrate by worshipping at the Altar of the Blessed Cocoa.

once again - no original ideas here.

oh, Andie....where would my blog be today without you?!

Rules: Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following... They MUST be real places, names, things... NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl question.

Name: Valerie
1. Famous athlete: Vlade Divak (basketball player - used to be with the Lakers)
2. 4 letter word: vent
3. Street name: Ventura Hwy.
4. Color: vermillion
5. Gifts/Presents: vase
6. Vehicles: Vega (by Chevrolet - an OLD car from the 70's)
7. Tropical Locations: Venzuela (hey! it's got jungles)
8. College Majors: vehicle repair (well, from some colleges!)
9. Dairy Products: nothing i want to eat.
10. Things in a souvenier shop: visors
11. Boy name: Victor
12. Girl name: Victoria
13. Movie Titles: Vertigo
14. Alcohol: vodka
15. Occupation: vet
16. Flowers: violet
17. Celebrities: Valerie Bertinelli
18. Magazines: Vogue
19. U.S. Cities: Valencia, CA
20. Pro Sports Teams: Vikings
21. Something found in the kitchen: vermin (not in MY kitchen)
22. Reason for being late: violent accident
23. Something you throw away: vaccum bag
24. Things you shout: viola! (wou-laa!)
25. Cartoon Character: Velma (thank heavens for Scooby Doo!)

thanks Andie!

You Belong in San Francisco

You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You're half California, half NYC.You're open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you're the best.People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you're also progressive, interesting, and rich!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

hmm. half NYC? interesting? progressive? not sure.
but i'm definitely a hippie (it's the Pacific Northwest genes, my mother has no idea where i came from. if it wasn't for the fact that i look like her, i swear she would claim that her real baby was switched at the hospital.).
definitely not rich. i can barely afford to live in So. Cal., much less San Francisco.

i live in La-La Land.

file this under the "Only in L.A." catagory.

it's no wonder the rest of the country laughs at us.

go here.

less snotty, more snotty.

in other words, i'm not as cranky. but snotty.

as in, thanks Husband, for coming home complaining about being sick, then five minutes later giving it to me.

dingdangit.

and, as is with most men (and a lot of women i know), when he gets sick, the world is coming to an end. death is knocking at the door, and if he was just a little stronger, he could get off the couch to answer the door.

exaggerating? just a little.

he's better today. momma made him take a ny-quil shooter last night, where he proceeded to fall asleep on said couch.

no wonder death couldn't get in. there was so much log sawing that we couldn't hear anyone at the door.

besides, with the mood i've been in lately, i would've beaten death's ass with a broom and kicked him out. go visit some child molesters or other equally horrible people. take them out of the gene pool.

oh, and to add insult to injury, i'm listening to a recording from Blockbuster, telling me we have an outstanding video. bring it back, they say, or some guys are coming.
um, Blockbuster? i've dropped it off an hour ago. go check your drop-off bin.

no worries. i will shake this mood. i will get the little black raincloud hanging over my head. i'll be back to my usual cheerful, less cranky self.

ETA unknown.

you know what makes me laugh?

...the fact that the fonts on this new template are so large.
it's like the old SNL skit: News for the Hard of Hearing, with Garrett Morris yelling the headlines.
have a nice night.

it's a party...

and we're all invited.

click on the banner on the right to get involved!
(thanks Linda & Melissa!)

WAY too easy.

You Are a Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bean

You have a strong, distinct flavor that makes you quite controversial. Some people love you, others wish you would disappear forever.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatflavorjellybeanareyouquiz/">What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?

describe me in five adjectives or less -

sluggish.
lethargic.
sleepy.
cranky.
headachy.
bloated.
pissed.

OK, so that's seven.

i have hardly moved from the sofa today. i don't feel sick, just sluggish, lethargic...

oh, you get the idea.

and the pissed part? because i missed my sister in law's phone call today. a wonderful opportunity to yak & chat, and i missed it. i had to move my car today, so a tree could be trimmed, and in the meantime, i decided to go to Target to kill some time.
talked to the Husband on the cell at Target, so i knew he called home first. naturally, when i got home and saw the message light flashing, i assumed it was him.

and you know what they say about assuming...

so Maureen...sorry, sorry, sorry. i wasn't dissing you. i just spaced.

gee. maybe going back to work will be a good thing.

Dana, DON'T LOOK!!

but everyone else can. Made these for Dana (obviously) on comission...they're big into the beach and what not.

the letter F is my favorite (enough out of you, April!!)

the letters are from Target, as is the surfboard hook. paper from my stash, as are the clasps & ribbon.

i love days off.

who needs tabloids?

not that i read 'em (because i don't, but my Grandmother LOVED them. embarrased the beejeebers out of me when i would take her grocery shopping, and she would pull out either the Star or the National Enquirer from its rack to have a read.), but i get all the information i need, just by looking at the latest bulk email i've been getting.

consider these lastest deliveries to my In box.
from Eva D. Felix:
The Supreme Court has been attacked by terrorists. Sen. Mark Dayton dead!

funny. i hadn't heard about either. apparently his office hadn't heard he was dead.
and apparently they didn't know he wasn't up for re-election, so he's no longer a senator.

oh and this one, too, from Mimi:
Fidel Castro dead.

first i've heard. i'm sure the first Fidel's heard as well.

viva la internet!

any dream analyzers out there?

here's one to go figure:

i'm working in a roadhouse as a standup comedian, working on my routine which somehow seems to be morphing into a "Good Eats" episode.

oh, and Ronald McDonald and Wendy, the Good Witch from Casper the Friendly Ghost were there, too.

hmmm. maybe that rib eye steak for dinner last night was rarer than i thought.

a first, kids...

this is the first layout i've done in a year.

seriously, a year.

not that i haven't done anything crafty, but not scrapbook pages.

it was for the CK Random Layout Challenge contest held this week, which i didn't win. which also isn't a big thing. i've come to the realization that my style and CK's style are two different things.

and i'm OK with that. i like what i do.

i'm too old for this crap.

so today at work, was Penguin day.

no, we don't spend Fridays in honor of those Tennessee Tuxedos (for those of us old enough to remember those cartoons). the last few years, my department has a different theme every year to promote accuracy. if you manage to go an entire month without an error, you get a certificate, candy and the all-important jeans day pass (we're jeans only on Fridays. sigh.).

in '06, because of "March of the Penguins," our theme was "The Power of Team," with a penguin for our mascot. we even bought a paper mache' penguin that had been used at a supermarket's frozen food promotion.

it's huge.

and now it's in pieces.

we used it as a pinata and smashed it good. then came the coup de grace.

me. dressed as a penguin. running all over the room tossing beads, candy and left over penguin prizes. watching people duck as Starbursts come flying through the air is actually pretty funny.

not to mention a 44 year old tossing confetti & candy like a demented (and straight!) Rip Taylor.

this year the theme will be Building Bridges. (at the beginning of the year, everyone in the company got limited edition watercolors of different bridges - hence, we're building bridges)

just don't expect me to come dressed as the Brooklyn Bridge. my butt's big enough.


in other news...
thanks for your emails about the Husband - i think it's just new job jitters - he so wants to make a good impression, to do the right thing, to make them realize they made the right choice in selecting him for the job, that he's over analyzing everything he does.

he also has less self confidence than his wife. (who has less self confidence than he thinks)
so i thank you for your good wishes, your cheering and your prayers. he has less belief in the power of prayer than i do, but i see what it can change.

and i know it can change him.

searching for...

peace.
balance.
harmony.
joy.
love.
solitude.

but my house is clean - cleaner than it's been in two years. so i don't have to search for the floor.
or mail on the table.

we're nearing the end of week two for the new job. poor guy is already throwing himself into the fire.

i'm not doing enough. i'm doing too much. i'm screwing up. i'm being coddled.

the boy can never do enough, in his opinion. and can never see himself the way i do.

granted, i have a jaded eye. i'm partial. but not so much that i don't see the potential in him.
the grit. the determination in his soul. the desire to excel and not let anyone down.

except himself.

he's never good enough. never quick enough. never funny enough. never tough enough.

it's never enough. not for him.

and i stand and watch. helpless.

all the words i can say, all the encouragement i can give, and all the soothing to his soul can't get through to the core of his being. only he can.

and he's still searching for a way to get there.

so i'm still searching for peace.
balance.
harmony.
joy.
love.
solitude.

but mostly peace. and all for him.

everyone's a comedian...

including one of my best friends, Kristie.

remember this?

well, here's what Kristie emailed to me after seeing the picture:
"P.S. -
I think you should've let your blogging audience believe that you were camped out near the L.A. Mission :)"

ah, the love of a good friend.

hotel, motel, Holiday Inn...

nope. not a-gonna rap this morning.

but whilst perusing my DRB (daily required blogs), i found this little gem from Doug.
and, of course, it reminded me of a few bad hotel memories that i'm compelled to share.

many, many, many years ago in high school, i was in Rainbow Girls, and every year they had a convention where we would announce the new state officers for the next year. (imagine about 3,000 screaming, hormonal teenage girls. you get the picture)

the location would flip every year - one year would be up in Fresno, the next down here in Anaheim. but in 1980, it was the first year in Anaheim. and, as with most first time things, it was a bit of a fiasco.

for reasons still not understood, many girls ended up at hotels they weren't originally booked at. my assembly was one of 'em.

now you may be wondering why local girls would want to stay at a hotel for a local event. well, if you've ever dealt with teenage girls, you have your answer. and so, we found ourselves not at the local Travelodge where our reservations were, but at a true motor hotel about three miles from the convention center.

but, after doing several phone calls, the original hotel told us we only needed to stay at this motel one night, the remainder of our time would be at another hotel, closer to the convention center.

in the meantime, we're stuck at this motel.
a really icky motel.
the kind of hotel that offered the very latest in vibrabeds.

wow. who knew a quarter could buy so much.

at one point, myself and three other girls in our room, heard a rather heated argument coming from the room next door (we couldn't get adjoining rooms. i'm sure there was a crack whore convention also in town, staying at this hole, er...motel.). something to the effect of "give me the money you owe me, your muther..."

yeah. this is the kind of environment i want my teenage girl soaking up.

we ended up screaming (because that's what teenage girls do) and my bright idea was to stow all our luggage in front of the door to our room.

oh yeah. that'll save our butts.

eventually, one of our adult advisors called us, asking us to keep it down.
what th'?
well, after we screamed (again, it's what teenage girls do)what was going on, the police were called and arrests were made.

ah, precious memories.

fast forward to 2004. Husband and i were on a roadtrip to northern California, touring the wine country. one night was spent in Santa Rosa, where we toured the Charles M. Schulz museum, and toured some of the Husband's old haunts (his family lived in Santa Rosa for a year or so). being tired, we stopped at a decent looking Motel 6, checked in, and had the best.Mexican.food.EVER at a restaurant across the street.

back to the room, crawled into bed (margaritas were involved) and fell asleep.

a few hours later, the TV came on, and at full volume.
talk about a rude awakening.
we searched all over the bed, assuming we had rolled over on the remote. nope, it was over on the bedside table - right where we left it. so we turned it off, and fell back asleep.

but the TV wasn't done. it turned on again, just as loud as before. it happened one more time, before i got the bright idea to unplug the damn thing.

believe me, if it turned on after that, i would be sleeping in the truck.

next morning, Husband went to check out and to let them know about the TV. when he came back in the room, i asked if he remembered to tell them about the TV.

"oh yeah," he said, "funny thing - turns out that there was an old man who lived here in this room and they were always getting complaints that the volume was too loud. well, he died in here, so now his ghost haunts the room and watches TV whenever he wants."

picture me. silent. jaw dropped. eyes as big as my bum. the Husband looked at me.

"come on. no old man died in here, the TV's broken."

thanks honey. knowing you're in my corner makes the road all the easier to traverse.
and makes the hotels more cozy.

dang.it.all.

first off, i AM playing hooky today. had some vacation from last year i needed to burn off before my supervisor had a thrombone. no fun for me, i have a house to clean.

secondly, the Chargers lost. shazbot. and then the Seahawks lost, so my mother (who hails from the Great Wet Pacific Northwest) is also in mourning.

thirdly, i was supposed to go to my parents and pick up folding tables & chairs for bunco tomorrow night.

i completely forgot.

it not only slipped my mind, it left the country, never to be seen again.

when did i remember? this morning @ 7am. it woke me up.

i wonder if it's too late to commit myself to our local Alzheimer center?

another one of life's mysteries solved.

ah yes. another lazy Sunday morning.

in someone else's world.

in my world, it involves going to the laundromat at 6am. doing laundry until 8 (two weeks worth - it SUCKS!), then off to the grocery store. i have a craving for some homemade split pea soup (the other stuff i will not eat) and a pot roast.

(note: it's gonna take me a little time to get used to cooking.every.night.)

and supplies for Bunco on Tuesday.

bunco, in case you've never heard of it, is a dice game. we have three tables, with four at each table, and your partner is whomever sits across from you. you each take turns tossing three dice. as long as you keep rolling the current number (starts @ one, goes through 6), you keep playing. if you don't, you pass the dice. if you roll three of a kind of the number you're playing for, it's a bunco, and worth 21 points.

we also chip in $5/ea. and at the end of the game (we play 5 rounds, 1-6), pay off for Most Buncos, Most Wins and even Most Losses.

unlike real life, even coming in last pays.

so, i'm hosting, and part of the hostess's job is having snackies. a few on each table and a couple "big" snacks, like chips & salsa, or my favorite: chili sauce and cream cheese.

assuming, of course, that you can find the chili sauce.

now it's not spicy. it's a little sweet, almost ketchupy...but not as thick. your pour it over a block of cream cheese & serve with Wheat Thins or Triscuts (my favorite). another one i like is jalapeno jelly over cream cheese. (but the problem is the bestest jelly is made by Knott's, and it's hard to find in the grocery store. now, i could just walk across the street to Knott's but IT'S TOO DANG COLD!)

now it's just a matter of trying to find the bloody stuff.

it's not in the canned chili section. not with the salsas. myself and a boxlad went searching over two different aisles trying to find the dang bottle.

remember how i said it's almost ketchupy? well, that's where Albertson's stocks it. in the ketchup aisle.

that was too easy.

so, the fat pig went to market, then home again jiggidy jig.

meanwhile...here in mostly smoggy southern California, it's colderna witch's ta-ta. right now, it's 10:13 and it's 42 degrees. that, for us, is friggin' cold, Mr. Bigglesworth.

now i realize i am not about to get ANY sympathy from my friends who live in Cold Winter states. heck, i didn't even get any from my sister in law when we chatted lst on the phone.

she lives in Reno.

i.am.a.baby.

well, a baby who at least found her chili sauce.

well, good morning, sunshine!

there's nothing like waking up early on a weekend.
enjoying the silence, the feeling that you are the only one in the entire world.
the occasional sound of traffic, and, when it's warmer, birds singing their morning song...the wind blowing through eucalyptus trees...
the melodious strains of gitoverhereandshutmyeffingdoor.

wait...what?

oh yeah. nothing say "good morning!" like an F-bomb being dropped at oh-dark-hundred.

we both woke up to some chick yelling at her man to "come shut my effing door." loudly. clearly. remember how your grandma used to say that kids could wake the dead? believe me, the dead would've called the police on this one.

and we did. Husband picked up the phone and called our local police.

the yelling went on for a while. she kept saying the same thing. whoever she was yelling at, did have the courtesy to keep his voice down. but not her. i kept hearing him ask her to give his phone back. she kept telling him to shut her effing door.
actually, i didn't know doors could eff.

well, live and learn!

give him his phone back or i will come down there and shut your door for you - i thought.
(by the way - i only talk a good fight. i am such a wussie that i know i hit like a girl)

speaking of...the chick outside also hits like a girl.

the two of them (and some other guy), moved out from under the carport, to the uncovered parking across from our apartment. where she started hitting him. to his credit, he didn't hit back, but she was making me laugh with such tuff-girl statements as "yeah, you're scared now, huh muther$%@#!...huh? huh?"

excuse me? i live in the suburbs. when did i relocate to a Jerry Springer show?

she stomped off after a few non-lethal smacks.

i don't know if the police ever showed up. i don't know if he got his phone back. i don't even know if she got her effing door shut.

but i do know there are better ways to wake up.

because we should care.

because it's not about me (contrary to what i write here), it's about my dear friends and their children.

serving this Country in far off places you at one time couldn't find on a map.

boxes. boxes filled with goodies. with things to pass the time. filled with pride, with love and appreciation.

you can go here for Chad.

perfection? never.

trust me.

there's so much less to me that meets the eye.

but, i also think that most of us, see ourselves in a very jaded way. we never see ourselves the way others do (which can be a good thing, i'm sure). we don't see how many ways we bless the lives and hearts of those we come in contact with every day.

thus ends the sentimental posting.

i, kids, am so far from perfect. i can readily list all of my faults. but i don't want to bore you.
so let's make this interesting (and perhaps will oust some lurkers?): post in comments something you can't do, that most everyone else can.

allow me to begin. and no laughing.
1) i can't rollerskate. one of my many memories is being in 10th grade at a honor club function. at a roller rink. shoot.me.now. i spent most of the time propelling myself off the wall, scooting around and around and around the rink. painful to watch.
2) i can't swim. but i am the best dang dogpaddler in California. 'nuff said.
3) i can't cook hamburgers. nope. nada. Fatburger & In'n'Out were created to keep me from having to cook hamburgers. mine are burned on the outside, cold & pink on the inside. yum-o.

your turn. what can't you do that everyone else can?

your life wasn't complete until this moment.

in case you missed them, here's some holidays a-comin'. get your Hallmark cards now.
(sorry, i can't celebrate roller skating day. can't rollerskate.)

Jan 11 2007 thank you cards day (are you listening or reading, brother in law?)
Jan 11 2007 step in a puddle and splash your friend day (only if you don't want them speaking to you ever again)
Jan 11 2007 tattoo pride day (ink it loud)
Jan 11 2007 family communications day (what? i wasn't listening)
Jan 11 2007 pharmacists day (God bless those that gave me vicadin in '05)
Jan 12 2007 roller skating day (riiiiiiight)
Jan 12 2007 make your mark day (not to be confused with Tagger Day)
Jan 12 2007 rubber band veteran day (huh?)
Jan 13 2007 door to door salespeople day (great. a special day to ignore them)
Jan 14 2007 secret pal day (wanna be mine?)
Jan 14 2007 dress up your pet day (only if i want to die. i put a pair of antlers on Elvis one Christmas. worst.bleeding.ever.)
Jan 14 2007 assembly line worker's day (workin' in a coal mine, goin' down, down, down...)

who knows what eeee-vil lurks in the hearts of man?

besides "The Shadow," that is?

me. it wasn't even Wicked Wednesday* and everyone was feeling the evil vibe.

(*Wik-ked Wed-ns-day - noun - a day of the week when being evil & not nice is accepted behaviour, assuming it stays between two people and no one is hurt.)

case in point: an employee in my old group has been out sick since a week ago last Wednesday (she was on vacation for the day after New Year's, should've been back the next day). her first day back was today.

she spent a goodly amount of time chatting today with everyone. (she's VERY good at that) at one point her supervisor & i observed her chatting with a supervisor from another department.

we looked at each other.

"maybe what i need to do is cross-charge her hours & productivity to Barb's (the supervisor chatting up our employee) department." Chatty Cathy's supervisor says to me.

"you could." i replied.
"but i'd wait until after they've finished talking, then tell Barb that Krista is back from being out for a week with the flu."

if being nasty is wrong, i don't wanna be right.

bad blogger! no cookie!!

i realize i'm a bad blogger.
i have tons of excuses, but not a one is as good as it could be.
nothing like, "a 747 fell on my computer." or, "my horoscope said to not share with others."
or even my cat ate my mojo.

whatever.

it's been crazy around here - and i have no none to blame but myself. i've been the acting supervisor at my new temporary department.
the group may be temporary, but the people are permanently insane.

for example: we have one contractor from a South American country - she's lived here for almost 30 years, but kids, this girl can rrrrrrrrrolllllllll her rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's like you would not believe. today, as i filed their work, i turned in time to be blinded.

and not by her beauty.

she has a new light she brought from home to use at her desk. you could get a tan from this light.
hell - i now have color, and i'm as white as a sheet of paper.
she says it's because she has a hard time reading proofs. i say get your eyes checked then.

hmmm. imagine that. i'm a smart ass.

i'm so ready for a couple o' days off.

and to make me even sadder...CHA is going on this weekend, practically in my back yard, and i can't go! why? because i don't belong to any of the organizations i could to be able to attend.

'sides, it would just be cruel to me. lookit all the neato-bosso cool things coming out that i can't get yet. it's not fair, i tells ya.

waaaah.

Husband's new job, in a way, hasn't started yet. he's still being trained on company procedures, software, etc. it's kinda sounding like this company is looking to redesign their mail processes, and are looking at B to do that. he came home yesterday feeling a little overwhelmed.

the lad will do just fine, thank you very much. direct mail is his life. kissing him is like licking a stamp.

only, not as distasteful.

once again, i've gone all over the highway. time to snooze on the sofa while Husband watches "Grumpy Old Men."

two more days. only two more days...

look, ma!

first day with the big kids.

on his way to work at the new job.

i wanted to get him a new lunch pail, but for whatever reason, he felt i was being silly.

i don't know. it's seems like nothing says "new job" like a "Little Einsteins'' lunch box.

you go, baby. you'll do great.

kids: just say no.

this is what abusing Advil Cold & Sinus can do to you:

stay off drugs

(photo taken on our camping expedition last year. the tent was abandoned. i only look abandoned.)

snot everywhere

warning: this is not a post for the faint of stomach.

oh, stop. it ain't that gross.

it's the thing i hate about getting sick. i seem to be a never ending 24/7 producer of snot. regardless how many times i blow, twice as much replaces what i've expelled.

ah, the human body. a glorious and miraculous thing.

so's Advil cold & sinus. and what i really love is registering before i buy it..just like a common crack whore.

well, maybe that's a little extreme. but i can barely balance my checkbook, much less manufacturer meth.

what i can do, however, is cook. it's cold & windy here today, which blows most of the smog out. which makes it perfect soup weather. one of my favorites is meatball stew, out of a Campbell's cookbook. i love this book, because every recipe is interchangeable..you can change up soups, seasonings, veggies, etc and make a different meal almost every time.

i'm old-skool. and i don't like parsnips (which is one of the veggies). so i keep it at potatoes, carrots & french onion soup.

le yum. add to that, the Pillsbury French Loaf popped in the oven, and i am good to go.

hell - stick a fresh baked anything in front of my nose and i will follow you pretty much anywhere.

how do you think i got married?

speaking of...the Husband attended the memorial service for his employee that was killed, along with her husband on their motorcycle. he stood there, he said, in dress pants and a button down shirt, surrounded by men in leather chaps and vests and broads (no other way to describe them) either in jeans or mini skirts & stilettos.

he had no problem with the skirts & stilettos.

during this service, most of the attendees were members of the Hessians club. all he wondered was if it was the Hessians or Mongols that were real bad.

(it was the Mongols, BTW)

after the service, his employee's grandmother came by to introduce herself, and her grandson - the 7 year old now without parents. this kid, who is apparently far more grown up (and probably too quickly) than some of the grown ups there. this boy shook the Husband's hand, then said "i guess you're gonna have to hire two people to take my mom's place."

"that i am, sir...that i am."
good answer, honey.

again - it's a waste. a waste of human life. a waste for this boy who had to grow up a little too quickly, and now has to grow up without his parents.

and i have to wonder again why it is that we are denied kids.

but - this isn't about me. and once again, i have gone from snot to death.

someday i will learn to signal before i change subjects.

have a great weekend!

(p.s. - Jolene...it will all be well. our Father in Heaven has His eye on the sparrow...so you know He will be keeping Chad in the palm of His Hand. love you!!)

a picture can't be judged by it's cover..or something like that.

while reading one of my many RDR (required daily reading) blogs, Elise posted a most interesting question: if you were reading a blog that you loved, then the author posted a picture of themselves and they weren't all that attractive, would you still read or would your vision of them be changed?

it reminded me of something that happened to me 15 years ago...(dissolve screen to flashback)

as an adult advisor for Rainbow for Girls, one of my responsibilities was renting vans to transport us to the state convention, which that year was in Fresno - up in northern California..about a six hour drive from Mostly Smoggy So. Cal.

i had been calling several rental agencies, and thought i hit pay dirt with one...good sized van, good rate, i was ready to book. i was also having a nice conversation with the rental agent...who proceeded to call me back. not just once, but several times.

he kept telling me what a great voice i had. then, he let me know he had frequent flier miles and was planning on coming to So. Cal. to visit "friends" and wanted to know if we could meet. being totally single and searching, i said sure. i told him i'd meet him at LAX.

can you see where this is going?

i arrived at the gate, even brought a rose. he got off the plane and saw me.

i watched his face fall.

nice, huh?

he couldn't look at me. whatever...i was laughing because not only was he as skinny as a beanpole (he had described himself as "pretty buff", i had said i was rubenesque...) with a cheesy moustache and poufy hair.

i took him to his car rental company, while he barely made small talk, then he actually stuttered "um, well...i could call you."

"that's OK," i said. "no need."

the shmuck actually had the audacity to look relieved. crap, dude...you could have the courtesy to look disappointed!

oh well....i found the whole thing funny. it wasn't the ego blow it could have been, but just hammered home the lesson: don't judge a book by it's cover. especially if the cover wears size 18 jeans.

and it certainly wasn't my last experience with blind dates...i married my last blind date.
oh, and there was the One with the Guitar Player Sitting on the Roof of His House...but that's another post.

now...if you've read Elise's post, i'm curious: if you had a visual of someone, then found out your vision didn't match the reality, did it change your view of them? discuss.

not just germs...SUPERGERMS!

once again, i have no immunity against the germs of a six year old.

although truth be told, i most likely got this crap from my Husband...again.

i was sick, really feeling puny two weeks before Christmas. then the Husband got sick the week before Christmas, and of course was sicker than any human being before or since. then after we arrived in Reno, the Nephew got himself a mild case of strep.

so....i either got something from him, or left over from the Husband.

i'll take the Husband for $500, Alex. i kissed him a lot more than the Nephew.

so it looks like another night of NyQuil.

anything to kill the Germs That Will Not Die.

is today REALLY the first day of the rest of my life?

'cuz if it is, i want a refund.

just kidding.

actually, tonight is the last night i shall eat dinner by myself.

the last night i can watch whatever i want on tv.

the last night i could get in my jammies by 5pm iffn i wanted to.

tonight is Husband's last night at the Pennysaver. "the end of an era," he says.

over and over and over...

let the era end, i say.

he will be off the rest of the week (lucky ducky!), then starts the new job next Monday.

it really is cool...i've just gotten spoiled, being married only two nights a week. but it will be cool having him home (i keep telling myself that). just kidding.

i am looking forward to getting to know him...all over again.

in other news...the grand 3 month experiment starts today at work. the experiment where i move my desk to the other end of the office and act as the lead for the night supervisor, who's now days, supervising the proofing department.

we had a little meeting today, just him & i...it looks good so far.

but it's only day one.

still got three more months to go.

and the of my life to get to know the Husband again.

my shining moment

per request..here is what truly is a shining moment in what could be the ultimate in April Fool's.
feel free to use!

the year: 1998. the place: my company. the date: March 30th.

i don't remember what inspired me to coheres my friend into this grand scheme, but let me tell you, it still was the bestest laugh EVAH!

at the end of the row of cubicles where my work group sat was a new fax machine. in our department we also had a new supervisor who rather thought his poo didn't stink (sad to say, he's no longer a supervisor, but still thinks his poo is a rare and fragile flower.)
i had a set of small stereo speakers, purchased to be used with my portable CD player, and they were always in my bottom desk drawer.

it's a trifecta for comedy.

March 30th, we typed up a notice and attached it to the fax machine:
ATTENTION: As of April 1st, 1998, this fax machine will be equipped with VRS - Voice Recognition Software. After this installation, you will be able to speak the pre-programmed sales division number and your fax will be processed.

March 31 - we took the small speaker, and mounted it to the top of the fax machine. i ran the wire along the side, and tucked it in the back of the machine, so it looked like it was wired into the system.

April 1 - snicker.
early in the morning, one of the girls in our group, who had been off the last two days, came over to fax. she snorted as she read it - "i SO do not have time for this" and proceeded to fax the "old fashioned" way. "Come on, Karen," i said, trying hard not to giggle, "you don't even have to select the division...just say the name! How cool is that?"

she just snorted again & walked off.

it was a slow fax day. bummer. then, after lunch, the new supervisor came by to do some faxing.
my friend, my supervisor and myself all held our breaths.

he read the "notice." he turned around to us and said something about how cool that was. then, turning back to the fax, he leaned forward to the speaker...

time stood still.

"division 39." he said.

my supervisor buried her head on her desk. my girlfriend couldn't look at anyone. i was crying.

our patsy..er, victim, paused - puzzled. then he leaned in again and enunciated oh so clearly and loudly "DI-VIS-ION THIR-TY NI-NE!"

on of us snickered. i don't remember who. all i can tell you is that the three of us were sobbing. mascara flowing as freely as the air through the trees. our victim turned and had a look that could probably kill (did i also mention he had no sense of humor about himself). i'm sure he made some sarcastic comment, but none of us could hear, we were sobbing with glee.

i still look back at one of my finest accomplishments. i've never tried to duplicate it..but i think about it often. and would love to do it again.

perhaps some day...

thanks, Linda

ah yes...what better way to start out '07 than with an icy Diet Coke with lime and another poll?

2006 In Review
JANUARY
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year? generally not...they're not my favorite things, but this year, it's to rejoin & stick with weight watchers.
2. Who kissed you at midnight? the Husband...but it was about ten after midnight
3. Did it snow where you live? nope - thank heavens!
4. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? no - but it seems like a crazy thing to do

FEBRUARY
1. Who was your valentine? My husband
2. What did your valentine get you? a card
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class? oh yeah...as well as decorate our own mailboxes

MARCH
1. Are you Irish? oh yeah - by genetics and marriage!
2. Did you wear green on St. Patty's Day? don't have to - according to the Husband (2nd generation Irish) if you're Irish, you don't need to wear green. thankfully, with all the sexual harassment laws, no one can pinch you anymore if you're not!
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day? nothing to celebrate - cooked a huge corned beef dinner over the weekend when he was off work

APRIL
1. Do you like the rain? LOVE it! it's the latent Pacific Northwest genes in me veins!
2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year? oh - yes...it was a thing of beauty - but that's a post for another day
3. Did you get tons of candy on Easter? not this time...

MAY
1. What's your favorite kind of flower? daises..roses...
2. Do you like the spring? love it!
3. Finish the phrase: "April showers bring..." crazy drivers. So.Californians can NOT drive in the rain
4. What would you think of as a spring color? pinks, greens & yellow

JUNE
1. What year did you graduate from school? 1980. 27 years. when did i get old?
2. Did you go on any vacations last June? nope - we usually go in October, but didn't last year because of all sorts of things

JULY
1. What did you do on the 4th of July? walked in front of our complex to watch the fireworks from Knott's
2. Did you go on any vacations during this month? no

AUGUST
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer? nope
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '06? the Nephew's kindergarten graduation - so sweet!
3. Did you go swimming a lot in the summer? no...
4. Did you go to the beach a lot? have you seen how white i am? they don't make a SPF high enough to save my bum!

SEPTEMBER
1. Did you attend school/college in '06? nope!
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher? Mrs. Gaede - 10th grade english
3. Did you like fall better than summer? sort of...here, the first part of fall is hotter than the summer!

OCTOBER
1. What was your favorite Halloween costume ever? me, dressed as Britney Spears after 40
2. What's your favorite candy? Twix RULES!!!
3. What did you dress up like this year? Trailer Park Mama. why is it the older i get, the more i seem to dress up like sluts?

NOVEMBER
1. Whose house did you go to for Thanksgiving? my mom's, but we brought the food
2. Do you like stuffing? LOVE IT!!!!!
3. What are you thankful for? family, friends, Diet Coke & Peppermint Mocha Frappachinos

DECEMBER
1. Do you celebrate Christmas? yes
2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe? nope
3. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas? my digital camera a few years ago
4. What do you want this year for Christmas? wasn't a lot i wanted this year!
5. Do you like cold weather? oh yeah...would SO rather be cold than hot!

Happy new year...and may you have the best '07 evah!