Jun 30, 2008

drunks: a never ending source of entertainment.

if you've ever drank, or gone out with people who have, or even watched most sitcoms, you've see 'em: the one drunk in the group who is so gone, so completely out of it, that it's a dang good reason to a) not drink or b) start drinking harder.

and then there's c) comedy.

there are a lot of people out there, mostly girls, that cannot hold their liquor. they either run the gambit of entertaining or pathetic...and yes, they can be both.

Saturday night was entertaining.

Brendan & i drove down to San Clemente, about 35-40 minutes from our casa. his old boss from San Diego was in one of his many bands (this guy is either forming, or joining a band every two years) and was playing.

we had a table near the stage, and, next to us, was two of our finest: Marines from nearby Pendleton.

i don't know when this other group showed up, but there was about four of them, all girls, and one was completely wasted.

she would get up near the stage, shaking her money maker and pulling on her top just enough to see her belly ring AND her tat on the back. dancing by herself.

to paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, any time you see a drunk girl dancing by herself, you know her top's coming off before the end of the evening.

at one point, she plopped herself down at the Marines table and eventually pulled one of them, reluctantly, onto the dance floor.

and why she thought it was a good idea, we will never know, but she did a cartwheel.

on the dance floor.

right into the speaker.

we about laughed ourselves into a stupor. right or wrong, it was funny. she wasn't hurt, got right up and probably would've tried it again, but her friends pulled her over to their table.

and you know that Sunday morning, when she woke up, she would wonder how she got those bruises on her face...and a hangover that just won't quit.

Jun 23, 2008

little bit of this and that...

because i do wander...both physically AND mentally...here's my latest thoughts.

'sides, it's been WAY too hot to write coherently. not only that, but the power cord on our computer is giving us fits, so we ran out of juice. niiiice.

that explanation out of the way, here's some rambling. enjoy.
  • as cool as the Beatles are, have you ever listened to some of their later stuff? i mean, what the heck does 'Polythene Pam' about anyway?
  • some mornings, i look at myself in the mirror and i think, man - i really look good, especially for a broad my age. then i wake up.
  • nothing new on the layoffs at work. most of the time, i think i'll really be OK and will survive this. then, the demons inside my brain wake up and start trashing the place.
  • would you call this a block? i wanna play with my Cricut and all the new toys, but dagnabbit, i can't think of anything i want to do or play with.
  • i'm learning to play guitar...on Guitar Hero for my DS. good grief. see, as a kid, i sold Christmas cards and earned prizes. naturally, this being the 70s, i got a guitar. and tried to learn to play. i sucked at it then, i still suck now.
  • went to the Irish Fair over the weekend, and got a coin with a four leaf clover on one side, and 'a lucky 4 leaf clover for you.' it was made in China. does that mean i get the luck or it was lucky for the person who made it?
  • photo judging for my photo in the OC Fair is Wednesday. if i get 1st, i will get a phone call, probably next week. my fingernails should be nubs by then. oh, but if i get 2nd, 3rd or nothing at all...well, i gotta wait until the bloody fair starts. in.July. on the 11th. good grief.
  • speaking of, i think i'm gonna drive the people in the photo section crazy, with all my questions. perhaps i should've warned 'em that i'm anal and like to know every.freaking.detail. of everything that's gonna happen. drives Brendan crazy, especially when, before we got married, i was asking him how we were gonna sign our Christmas cards.
  • no i am not kidding.
  • i've been taking glucosamine and drinking joint juice a lot lately, hoping to get my 46 year old joints looser, but, instead of looking and feeling like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, i'm more like the Tin Man before he got introduced to the oil can. maybe i need to introduce myself to a can of STP?
  • and to top it off, i got an email on, well, ass rimming. whatever that it.
remember - it's my world. y'all are invited for the ride.

Jun 17, 2008

happy High Holy Day.

this day, back in 1957, Disneyland opened to the public.


OK, so it really was July 17th, in 1955. and if you really want to get technical, the July 17th was for the press and specially invited guests.

what the Powers that Be that day had no idea of, was that certain unsavory, yet creative, people were charging x amount per head to have people literally climb a ladder and hop over the back fence.

heck, at dang near $60 a head now, i'd totally consider that.

so back to the High Holy Day thing. for years, i was a member (read: geek) of a Disneyana club. believe me when i tell you that a lot of Disney freaks are like Star Trekkies. (and if you are one, i apologize if i offend. but believe me, some of these people are beyond obsessed.)

every year, this club hosts a week-long convention with speakers and forums, culminating in a Show & Sale, basically a garage sale of Disneyana., and, back in the day, it was the coolest. you had vendors selling Cast Member merchandise (employee goodies) and other things that probably shouldn't have been for sale, but was and there were plenty of people there ready to liberate them from these things.

call Guinness. i think that was the longest sentence ever.

but, the DisneyPolice started getting in on it, and gradually, the cool stuff disappeared, with the possible exception of company newsletters and other little things. it turned into basically a garage sale with stuff i wasn't interested in. which made my wallet very happy.

and this club is where i met one of my best friends. so it was profitable all around.

(oh, and it also introduced me to the non-sexual event called room hopping. basically, there would be a bulletin board posted with room numbers and dates of conventioneers hosting an open house. you could come in, check out what they were selling, steal the soap from their bathroom and move on. my friend and i would laugh ourselves silly, planning our route from the top floor to the bottom of the hotel, running like insane people up and down the fire access staircase.)

and somehow along the way, my friend & i took to calling July 17th High Holy Day. and yes, i was enough of a geek to, every year i had an annual pass, take the 17th off to go play. if my friend was down from his home in Northern California, all the better.

so i told you that story to tell you this story.

i opened up my email today to see this quiz from the Disney Insider, a weekly email the Disney Company puts out. and smack in the midst of it, was this quiz.

go on. prove to me you are as much of a hidden Disney geek as i am. then tell me how you did.

1. "The Wonderful World of Disney" has had many theme songs along the way, the first of which was "When You Wish Upon a Star." What Disney movie is this song from?
a. Sleeping Beauty
b. Cinderella
c. Bambi
d. Pinocchio

2. What year did the show that would become "The Wonderful World of Disney" premiere?
a. 1954
b. 1962
c. 1960
d. 19533.

What was "The Wonderful World of Disney" called when it debuted?
a. Walt's Disney World
b. Disneyland
c. Disneymania
d. Walt's Disney World

4. "The Wonderful World of Disney" has had many names -- which of the following is not one of them?
a. Disney's Wonderful World
b. The Magical World of Disney
c. Disneyland
d. Disneyworld

5. What bumbling professor (and Donald Duck's uncle) presented "An Adventure in Color," the first show of the series entitled "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color"?
a. Ludwig Von Drake
b. Don Donald
c. Scrooge McDuck
d. Dewey Duck

6. Who composed the theme song for the "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color"?
a. George Bruns
b. Frank Churchill
c. Alan Menken
d. Richard and Robert Sherman

7. What frontier hero's saga debuted as a 3-part mini-series during the first season?
a. Davy Crockett
b. Alamo Days
c. The Adventures of Kit Carson
d. Tom Sawyer

8. What beloved Disney character was used in the openings of all of the early shows?
a. Jiminy Cricket
b. Mickey Mouse
c. Tinker Bell
d. Cinderella

9. On which network did "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color" air?
a. ABC
b. NBC
c. CBS

10. Who introduced the shows each week for its first decade?
a. Mickey Mouse
b. Annette Funicello
c. Walt Disney
d. Michael Eisner

no cheating! here's the answers for Multiple Choice Trivia
1. d 2. a 3.b 4. d 5. a 6. d 7. a 8. c 9. b 10. c

Jun 10, 2008

look who's back!

all i can say is, 'bout time.

go here.

Jun 9, 2008

i'll remember all you little people.

it happened.

i got the letter.

Gentle Reader, this:

is officially entry number 176 in this year's Orange County Fair amateur photography contest.


out of 2700 entries, i made a cut.

holy freaking crap. i'm highern a coffee junkie on a double espresso.

holy freaking crap.

the Husband says, 'well, will you be disappointed if you don't win?'

hell no. i'll be devastated.

but if i do win....i'll remember all you little people, even as i squish you like little bugs on my way to the top.

so kidding.

so freaked out.

so going to the Fair.

July's gonna be a long, long ways away.


he's dead, dontcha know.

the conversation at Arby's went something like this, as James Taylor's 'Fire & Rain,' played in the background.

'what a waste. he was so young and talented.'

'what are you talking about??'

'Jim Croce. he was only in his 30s when he died in that plane crash.'


'Jim Cro-che. the guy singing.'

'um...that's James Taylor, and he's very much alive, thank you very much.'

apparently the rumors of his death were highly exaggerated as well.

Jun 7, 2008

time for a change. again.

had a sleep-over last night @ Kristie's. what originally was just going to be a computer fix, but turned into an slumber-party-let's-do-makeup-and-go-to-Target-to-get-pyjamas thing.

which then turned into a pizza-party-scrapbook-shopping-rock-shoveling party!

i know how to live!
like i said, originally we were going up to have pizza and fix her daughter's computer, which had gotten itself some viruses. by the time we finished, Brendan decided it was too much of a pain to drive back home (they live about an hour or so from us), so a slumber party ensued.
but before i can have a slumber party, dang it, i need my supplies.

* clean underoos
* mascara
* toothbrush
* pyjamas

and yes, that is in order of importance. off to Target.
this morning brought a breakfast of donuts and cold pizza and rock shoveling. Kristie had some cottonwood trees around her place, then came to find out that cottonwoods like water. so much so they will grow their roots into and through anything to get it.

including septic tanks. which they have.

so rather than risk replacing the system, Kristie had the trees removed, then got some rock delivered to cover up the stumps after she applied stump remover to them. Brendan helped rake and shove rock, along with Kristie & her kids, while i got to play Pretty Pretty Princess and supervise.

then the 15 year old and i went scrapbook shopping. after that, it was back down the hill to make our hair appointments @ 1:30.

yep. we made it.

now for years, i've had the same color & cut. i love 'em both, but Debbie, my stylist (ooooh. so Hollywood-esque) said today, 'so i was thinking....'
gah. i love it when she says that. i'm in for some fun.

so before, i looked like this:

love it. it's really easy to keep up with. (note also the beginning of the wattle)

but now... (drum roll please)

(note the very skillful way i hide the wattle)

you don't see the blond bits, but they're there. so's the wattle.

i'm liking it. (the hair, not the wattle.) a kicky new 'do, perf for the summer and the beach and maybe for meeting that special someone.

looks like i'll be at Seal Beach with my copies of Seventeen, Tiger Beat and Mademoiselle.

have a bitchin' summer.

Jun 6, 2008

iiiiiiiiiiiiiii've just gotta ce-le-brateeeeeee....

time to be gettin' do-wn wid mah own funky self.

jump back!!!

this year, we have gone from dual income-no kids, to dual-income-on-the-Government's-dime-no-kids.

and now i'm back to dual income no kids. no Government allowed.

he got a job.

yes, there is joy in Mudville. the Mighty Casey struck a home run.

can i possibly think of any other euphoniums? give me time.

this job is at one of the places i had said were commitment phobes; it wasn't an 'interview,' just 'chatting.' it reminds me of dating, i said. remember, i added, no one has a second date with anyone that puts out on the first one.

apparently he listened.

he had a second inter...chat this week.
they offered him a position.
he asked to think about it over night.

see? he is trying to kill me.

we talked. i lovingly told him if he didn't take it, i would hurt him. badly. then he decided to 'negotiate.'

oh great googly moogly.

his offer was, since he's on my insurance, could he instead take that money the company would be spending anyway and get a little more pay?

at this point, i was on the floor frothing at the mouth. and again, if you mess this up, i will not only hurt you but i may hurt you to death.

lovingly, of course.

the guy went for it. Brendan starts Wednesday. i think i heard angels singing.

the only drawback? i gotta go back to my very unprincessy ways. you see, while he was off, he would do things around the house: dishwasher, bathrooms, vacuum, laundry. (but not the litter box. apparently he couldn't smell nor see the toxic cloud wafting from the room it's in.)

duuuuude. laundry.

i got kinda used to this princess way of life. i'm gonna miss it.

but i like him employed so much better.

Jun 4, 2008

guilty, guilty, guilty!!!

guilt, my friends, is a powerful thing.

it makes you feel terrible.

you know, guilty.

enter my Susie Q.

for some silly reason, she felt guilty that she missed my birthday.

for criminey's sake, it's not that big a deal. 'sides, it just turns it into the never ending birthday.

but this silly girlie, she felt bad enough to give me a cupcake.

feel guilty all you want, baby.

in other news...

i got the most rotten birthday card in the mail today, along with the best magnet from my Linda. and yes, dear, i DO have my magnafying glases on in order to type this. pfttttttttttttttt. :op

AND i got the best text message from Melissa today as well.

i have the best friends ever. and that includes you.

Jun 2, 2008

dodging bullets.

jury duty today.

oh joy.

i don't know what it is about jury duty that turns every dang one of us into a bunch of crybabies. myself included.

now, if it came down to me needing a jury of my peers, well, all i can say is i want the system to work, as it usually does every day in America.

but i also know that there's a lot of idiots out there. a lot. and i'm not sure i want them as a jury of my peers.

of course, there's the fact that if i was stupid enough to get arrested and put on trial for something, then apparently i get what i deserve.

on the bright side, since i had my service rescheduled from last November, to April to now, i got to go to Fullerton, not too far from our casa, and much nicer than driving to the county seat of Santa Ana.

downtown Santa Ana.

with the occasional gang problem. that i have to drive the 5 freeway to. (ed. note: the 5, is a main artery going from San Diego in the South all the way up to the California state line, and beyond. it gets crowded. a lot. especially since it goes by most of the major Mostly Smoggy Southern California attractions)
so i gladly will take Fullerton. 'sides, they have a totally cool Old Town and some bad ass vintage and antique stores. a good vibe it has.

and i got to drive the Buick. why, where is your car, you ask? oh, it would be at the radiator ship, getting pressure flushed and all new hoses put in.


yesterday, B decided to replace my air filter and check the oil. then, on a whim, he checked my radiator, which apparently had more sludge than Washington DC.

so this place came recommended to us, and as they flushed, they told B that my hoses needed replacing.

see - everything falls apart after 45.

anywhoooo - they are keeping my car until tomorrow afternoon, and lucky Brendan, he gets to get up early when i do, so he can take me to work.

ah, the Luck of the Irish indeed.

while at jury duty, i was busy attending a pity party in my honor, when smack in the middle of it, one of my Voices in my Head (the smarter, more sensible one, as you will see) walked over to me and smacked me in the back of my head.

'um, hello?! do you not realize how lucky you are?'

lucky? me?? have you not noticed that half of our household is unemployed, i may bloody well be as well and my freaking car is being repaired for the tune of $300?

'you are lucky. you are working. you have the money to fix, and things could be worse. you are not only lucky, you're blessed and you should hit the ground and thank God for your blessings.'

man. i hate it when she's right.

it's all a matter of prospective. the forest vs. the trees. it reminds me of one of my favorite 'Far Side' cartoon about the four types of personalities. the first one joyfully sees the glass as half full, the second as, naturally, half empty. the third is confused about the glass and what was that question again?

the last one says, irritated, 'hey! i ordered a cheeseburger!'

that one is me. occasionally missing the point altogether.

so i am blessed. we have the money to fix the car, the timing just sucks.

and to add to my blessings, i got excused from jury duty around 11:45, no more cases that needed juries that day.

i felt like i did on the last day of school.

blessed beyond reason. i just need smacked around sometimes to realize that.

Jun 1, 2008

welcome back to the real world.

so even with the drama of layoffs on Thursday, the rest of my birthday did get better.

i got home before the B-man, who had a 'conversation,' with a prospective employer (apparently they are very afraid of commitment, so it can't be an interview.), who thought they might be able to create a position for him.

just not right now.

well thank you very much, that'll work out just fine because i need a job, but just not right now.

hmmmm. apparently age has not lessened my sarcasm.

moving on...

the Husband came home after stopping at a grocery store with some red roses, a bottle of chardonnay, Caesar salad, vanilla cupcakes and tiramasu and frozen mac and cheese.

this guy gets me.

i got to sit on my butt, licking my wounds from the earlier fun of the day while he broiled some steaks, tossed salad (in the good way) and heated the mac & cheese.

oh and don't forget the wine.

my dinner was served and i ate like the chunky, non-Weight Watcher chick i am. i talked to April and Kristie, the former thinks she should talk to me more often when i'm drunk.
(i didn't want to burst her bubble, but honey, that was nothing.)

in short, my birthday was a lot like life. kinda roller coaster-y. big build ups, pee in the pants as you roll down a hill to your certain death, and the whole time laughing.

or maybe that's just me.

in either case - while it's not fun, it's life. it's the only shot we get, unless you subscribe to reincarnation, but personally, i don't want to come back as a bunny rabbit on my path to enlightenment.

i know too many people that would be after me, looking to see me in their pot. braising. and i'm just not cool with that.

what can i say - living agrees with me.