Dec 31, 2007

that was the year that was.

365 days.
12 months.
52 weeks.

it was a year of unexpected delights, of new jobs, of laughter, evilness and silliness.

a year of meeting new friends online. of sharing your joys, fears, terrors and tears.

i cried with you when the tests came back negative. prayed for you when your parents/children were suddenly, unexpectedly hospitalized.

we shared more this year, than i think i've shared with my 'real life' friends.

this was a year of endings. of beginnings. of boredom. of thrills.

a year of weight gain. and for many of you, weight loss (you GO, girl!).

a year that brought us something as horrific as kids being shot in West Virginia.
and as laughable as this. or, God help us, this.

a year that ended with no new TV shows. once again, writers rock.

a year that involved being lied to about my best friend having a diabetic episode to get me out to my own surprise birthday party and also involved going to Whittier for Mexican food. (i know. i plan on letting this go soon. just not yet.)

i'm blessed because i'm ending the year with every member of my family still here. and i'm also ending it with the same ol' Husband i started the year with.

a new year is always looked at as a new beginning. a chance to start again and to make resolutions. but the cool thing is, every day we are allowed to live is a chance for a new beginning.

that is the coolest thing of all. no need to wait until December 31st to make changes. changes can begin right now. no waiting till midnight. no waiting period.

and i cannot think of better people to share it with. Happy New Year.

Dec 28, 2007

fly boy. part too.

"More than anything else, the sensation [of flying] is one of perfect peace mingled with an excitement that strains every nerve to the utmost - if you can conceive of such a combination." - Wilbur Wright

"holy crap, i did it." - Husband

as long as i've know the Husband (back when he was a friend, then a boyfriend), he has wanted to fly.

his dad flew. his brother flies. and when you accused my Husband of having his head in the clouds, well, you weren't far off base, mister.

but that's another post.

he's gone after that FAA approval several times in his adult life. (you can read the extended version here.) the farthest he got was actual flying time.

he's back there again. he passed his test with a 93% accuracy.

i cannot tell you how bloody proud i am of him. i mean, really - how often in our all too-short lives to we actually get the chance to accomplish a life-long dream?

not often enough.

this is my boyo. my love. my life. and he's on his way to accomplish something he's always wanted to.

you go, boy. your dreams really are up in the clouds.


now it's your job to find out what "x" really is.

so. i told you my mom was sick on Christmas, AND the days following. yesterday, she said, was the first day she really felt human again. and as such, she wanted to go have a deelish fried chicken dinner over @ Knott's.

naturally, when you are recovering from ANY kind of a stomach bug, you want to eat deelish, if a little greasy, fried chicken with biscuits, corn, mashed potatoes & gravy, salad AND chicken soup.

did i mention you also get a slice of pie for dessert? all for the low, low price of $14.95.

it's really good. really, really good. otherwise, it wouldn't have been around since the 30's, right?

however, it's not my little secret. everyone knows about it.

and everyone was in line for it last night. matter of fact, the line went out of the restaurant, along the front of the building, then, down the other side of the building..all the way to the back entrance.

the wait was two hours.


as a matter of fact, the host of the restaurant came by to get the number of people in each party, and in talking to the group behind me, said that last Saturday, the line made its way all the over to the exit of the park...about a quarter of a mile long line, he said.

duuuuuude. that ain't right.

so, being the first one there, i called the parents, driving over. and naturally, they had no intention of waiting two hours for dinner.

let's go get Mexican, my mom says. great, i reply. we've got a really good one just up the 91 freeway.

no. my mom says. we'll go to Senor Compost (i swear. that's what she calls it) in Whittier. that's about a seven mile drive from here. our restaurant is only three miles up the freeway. but it's the same distance according to my mom.

oh goody. let's go to Whittier.

there's something about people when they are absolutely convinced they're right. they are as firm in their conviction as a kernel of caramel corn stuck in your shag carpet.

my mom was that caramel corn in my shag carpet. even though i don't have shag.

dinner was OK. the company was way better. oh, and by the way, the restaurant is called Senor Compos.

and to quote the late great Gilda Radner's Emily Latilla from Saturday Night Live - well - now that's very different.
never mind.

in other weird news...
at my birthday dinner group's Christmas party, we somehow got on the subject of...leg cramps. and apparently, if you get them, the cure is to stick a bar of soap under your bottom sheet. the chick that told us about it, said she tried it.


well, allrighty, then.

i'm trying it tonight.

and in one last note...Hagan Daas has a holiday (read: limited edition) flavor out. green tea.

are you making a face? don't. if it's anything like the green tea ice cream we get any time we go to a Japanese Teppan restaurant, i will be in hog heaven.

so let's review: so far i've covered unreasonable parents, chicken dinners, Mexican food, leg cramps and bars of soap and green tea ice cream.

they don't call it Random Thoughts for nothing, kids.

Dec 26, 2007

let the mayhem continue.

Happy Boxing Day!
(and if any of my Canadian, Irish or British friends can please tell me what the heck Boxing day really is, i would be indebted to you. truly.)

it may be the day after, but i am still wrapping presents and putting stockings together.

we had a lovely, quiet Christmas. watching movies Santa brought, as well as Bond flicks on SpikeTV.

my mom, not so much.

Monday, she and my step-pop went to Disneyland to be with the family. they ate breakfast out there, and my mom, for whatever reason, had scrambled eggs.

scrambled eggs & my mom? not a mix. she spent all of yesterday drinking Pepto instead of eggnog. not nice.

tonight we're supposed to meet @ Knott's for dinner and gift exchange. we'll depends naturally on how she feels.

meanwhile - the Husband and i are debating when we should go and meet up with them. i do want to see Kyler, Maddie & Lucas - and their parents as well, but man. it really chaps my hide to think of spending anywhere from $65-85 for a one park/one day or two park/one day pass, much less going during Christmas break, with 20,000,000 people there.

reminds me a little too much of New Year's eve 1999. (remember that, Kristie? oy.)

my friend, his step-son and his wife, along with another couple, came down from the Bay Area for New Year's and invited us to come along.

Disneyland for New Year's? why not?

somehow, we got the bright idea that it would be totally cool to stand in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle as we passed millenniums.

hmm. 'passed millenniums.' sounds almost as enticing as passing kidney stones. and a LOT more painful.

my friend Kristie came down and brought her then 7 year old daughter. Husband & i hung out at our spot near the front of the castle; they had erected a countdown clock, so we knew how much longer we'd be standing. or sitting.

but as the day wore on, more and more people started squeezing in our spaces. we were roped off. eventually, people were literally walking over us to get across to other places. Kristie's girl was laying on the sidewalk, trying to nap, while we were attempting to keep her from being trampled.

dude. not a good scene.

believe me when i say that two minutes after midnight, we were in the crush to get out of the Park and head back to the hotel.

we found out later that officials for the park said they should've closed the park earlier and not let more people in. but that's what greed will do for a corporation.

turn an innocent mouse into a snarling, drooling, money-grubbing rabid rodent.

back in the day, from about 1989 until 1997, i had an annual pass for Disneyland. that, Gentle Reader, was sweet. it was cool to head out there for a few hours, grab a coffee and do some people watching.

makes me wish i had been a sociology major. the papers i could've written on human behaviour.

i still wish i had one.

back then, there was only one. 365 days of Disney magic for the low, low price of $199. now - they range from $129 for 170 days to $379 for 365 days.

people i know who work there call the $129 pass the 'pre-school pass,' because with the amount of days blacked out, it will work best for SAHM's who have pre schoolers and can go on a Tuesday morning for an hour or two.
the premium annual pass? no thanks. there's other things i'd rather spend $379 on.

i'm still not sure how i went from Boxing Day to Disneyland...but whatever.
it's what Random Thoughts are all about.

Dec 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!!

and a Merry Christmas to you & yours from me and mine.

bad english. no cookie for me.

it's started out quietly enough and i'm completely good with that. Santa came last night, bringing unnecessary goodies in our stockings (including Silly Putty, a key chain pinball machine and a pocket Etch-a-Sketch.

goody! now i can lose my mind while trying to draw on a pocket Etch-a-Sketch. or, maybe because it's smaller, i'll only lose a smaller part of me noggin.

Santa brought a new suit, extra pants, black dress shirt and a new black tie for Brendan. Elvis got a clean litter box (believe me, that is truly the gift that keeps on giving), a new batch of kitty grass to eat and kitty treats to nosh.

oh, along with some bites of ham for breakfast. dang cat lives better than some kids.

Santa also brought two dvds for Yours Truly, along with the Bind-it-All i wanted.
wise one, the Big Kahuna is. very wise indeed.

my parental units are off to Disneyland again, spending another day with the grand & great grand kids.

did i not tell you? my stepbrother's oldest daughter, her husband and their three kids are out here, along with her mom, brother and various other family members, visiting Disneyland on Make-a-Wish's dimes.

oldest daughter's oldest son has leukemia. he's been on treatments for almost three years now, and they believe they have it in remission. thank God.

five is too young to be knowing so much about hospitals, ports and other such things.


Make-a-Wish contacted them, asking if he were chosen, what would he like to do? his answer was to take his family to Disneyland and meet Sully from "Monsters Inc".

and so it came to pass that the good people of Make-a-Wish flew Kyler and the whole famdamily out here and Disneyland arranged a special party so Kyler could meet Sully.

probably a good thing i wasn't there. all my mascara would've been somewhere along my jawline.

as for us right now, we're both in our jammies, Husband is still napping, we have a James Bond movie on the TV and the cat is searching for a nice, quiet lap to lay in.

indeed - all is calm.

wishing you the magic only this day can bring. Merry Christmas.

Dec 24, 2007

SO not PC.

the other day, i did something completely NOT politically correct.

i wished someone a Merry Christmas.

i know, i know. i'm a rebel and i'll never be any good. but dagnabbit, i'm tired.

i'm tired of tip-toeing around this time of year.

i'm tired of offending, when i end up feeling offended.

i'm tired of apologizing for my beliefs.

so, in the grocery store the other day, i took the bull by the horns. i wished the clerk a Merry Christmas.

she didn't really know what to do. or say.

come on. i have several friends who are Jewish. i wish them a Happy Hanukkah. i have no problem with that, but when it gets closer to Christmas, i'm saying Merry Christmas.


what really put me over the edge today (besides the espresso that i'm CONVINCED the barista @ Starbucks put in my Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha) was when i passed a church on my way to work, and their message board wished everyone Happy Holidays.

OK. wait a minute. if a church that teaches the birth of Christ wishes you a happy holiday, well...something just ain't quite right.

meanwhile, rebel that i am, will be wishing a Merry Christmas, right up until tomorrow night.

in other news....

today was a short day @ work. and we also had our white elephant gift exchange today.

most fun we've had there in a year.

there was the usual - candles, a hot cocoa set, toaster, a small, very used tv, pig lips.

yeah, i said pig lips. in.a.jar. oh dear googly moogly.

oh and a macrame belt kit from Singer. the sewing machine company. it came with hair extensions.

did i mention i got that one? and that the macrame kit HAD to be from the late 70s? and it still had late 70's dust on the package.

baby, you just can't buy quality memories like that. but apparently someone has, and has given it to the white elephant fiesta.

i can't wait till next year.

so on Christmas eve, i want to thank you for your love, laughter, tears and friendship you have extended to me through your blogs, and in a few cases, real life. i am blessed beyond reason by your gifts to me.

and to all of you, from Brendan, Elvis the Wonderkat and yours truly, we all wish you, Gentle Reader, the merriest of Christmases, the happiest of memories and peace on earth.

OK, Elvis is really only interested in tuna, but the rest of us really do wish that for you.


Dec 22, 2007


from Steff. yeah, i know - it's long. she said the same thing. but i thought this might make up for my long-windedness you don't get during the week.

1. I have come to realize that my butt: will always be behind me. and since i don't have to look at it, well, outta sight...
2. I have come to realize that when I talk: not everyone listens to me.
3. I have come to realize that I need:to forgive and forget and move on.
4. I have come to realize that I lost: well, not my butt. i guess some of my Christmas joy.
5. I have come to realize that I hate it when: every 28 days rolls around. still.
6. I have come to realize that marriage: isn't exactly what I thought it was...some days aren't that great, naturally, but it's still good. i'd do it again and with the same guy.
7. I have come to realize that work: is just work. it doesn't, nor ever will define me.
8. I have come to realize that I will always be:considered weird by some. oh well. to quote Cathy Zielske, i am, just as God made me, sir.
9. I have come to realize that I like: me. just as i am, sir.
10. I have come to realize that the last time I cried: was over a bloody movie. gad. i HATE being so dang sentimental.
11.I have come to realize that my cell phone is: part of my life. how in the world did i manage without one?
12. I have come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: i'm usually watching TV. bad.
13. I am currently thinking about: how many dang questions there are here.
14. I have come to realize that babies: are never gonna happen here.
15. I have come to realize that when I get on Myspace: what's MySpace? so kidding.
16. I have come to realize that today I will: be lazy. yahoo!
17. I have come to realize that tonight I will: not have to cook much. dinner's in the crock pot!
18. I have come to realize that tomorrow I will: so need to bake and wrap and wrap and wrap...
19. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? anyplace i don't have to cook.
20. What did you want to be when you were growing up? a World-Famous author.
21. How many colleges did you attend? oh, let's see...Long Beach City, Orange Coast and Saddleback.
22. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? because it had long sleeves and it was cooooold this a.m.
23. If you could visit anywhere and take someone with you...i know, it should be Hawaii, but i'd really love to go to Ireland and Japan.
24. What errand/chore do you despise? cleaning tubs and sinks. bleah.
25. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? doubtful. i ain't that smart.
26. What is your favorite cartoon character? Secret Squirrel.
27. Are you planning on remaining in your current field? i'd like to. i'd like to actually retire on my terms, not theirs!
28.Beach or lake? i know - California girl should always say the beach. but any body of water gets my vote.
29. What's your drink? A&W rootbeer. yum-o.
30. Cowboys or Indians? indian. i always wanted to be an indian princess. they got to ride horses.
31. Cops or Robbers? um....firemen?
32. Who from high school would you like to run into? Denise or David.
33. Have you ever had to use a firearm? only at the shooting gallery. and i suck.
34. Last book you read? Favorite Recipes from the Food Network Stars. how pathetic is that?!
35, Do you have a teddy bear? are you kidding? i have gazillions! my latest and most favorite is one my friend bought me @ Build a Bear. yes, i went to BAB. get over it. he has boxers on. that's it. i know...i'm not well.
36. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? oh heck..i think i've been to all the biggies...
37. Number of texts in a day? are you kidding? i SO suck at texting.
38. If you had to choose- would you start a new career or relationship? career. i'd love to work someplace fun and creative. not that i'm either, but dang, it's hard working in the current environment.
39. How many jobs have you had? let's see...i've been a counter girl at a diner and a pizza place, a clerk @ a pharmacy and Woolworth's, a receptionist @ Supercuts and a car dealership, an junior loan processor and at the current place of employment - typist, proofreader, query coordinator, graphic artist, production coordinator & facilitator and incomplete reports girl.
i do get around.
40. Are you where you thought you would be at this age? oh hardly. but come on, life never takes you where you think you're gonna go, does it?

i pick you, you,, way in the back!

Dec 21, 2007

requiem for a friend.

requiem for a friend..not only the title for today's missive, but one of my favorite Elton John songs.

(see kids, Elton John was a singer in the 70s who's shtick was outrageous costumes, large glasses and big-ass platform shoes. if you want more information, go to

i was checking my email yesterday and found out Bruce Gordon died earlier last month. he was 56.

i don't expect you to know him. but i hope after this, you might know him a little better.

Bruce worked for Walt Disney Imagineering from 1980 until 2005. he started as a model builder and moved up the food chain, eventually becoming the 'show producer' for rides at Disneyland like Splash Mountain, the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and most recently the newly opened Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage.

i got a glimpse into his world back in the 90s.

back then, as now, i was a girl in love. with Disneyland. don't ask me why, but there is something magical i feel when i walk under that train trestle and see the plaque right above my head that says "Here you leave the World of Today and enter the Worlds of Tomorrow and Fantasy."

leave the World of Today. i'm all for that.

well, back then, and at Disneyland, is where i met one of my best friends. he and his now wife were down from the Bay Area visiting Disneyland and attending a Disneyana convention.

nope. never heard of one, either.

he talked my mom & i into going. we met up on Sunday to attend the sale they always have. club members attending the convention set up their Disney wares to sell.

think garage sale. one man's trash, etc.


i eventually joined the club and started attending meetings as well as the yearly convention. that's when we met Bruce.

back then, he was a speaker at one of the events with a partner in crime, David Mumford. they both worked for Imagineering and to look at them was like looking at a modern day Laurel & Hardy.

David was thin. sorta quiet. if you looked at him, you'd want to scream "NERRRRRRD!" Bruce, on the other hand was a big guy who looked like he ate life like hamburgers - big and in one gulp.

it was the beginning of what we would call the Bruce & Dave Show.

the show would start normally. they'd come out on stage and start introducing their presentation...and then...

things would start flying. literally.

one year, their subject was the transformation of the former Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse at Disneyland to Tarzan's Treehouse. at one point, Bruce dragged out a large box and he and David started flinging out Ziplok bags, each containing a plastic leaf from the old tree. Bruce said there were over 100,000 leafs on that tree.

he had labled & numbered each one and had it on each bag. mine is still at my desk at work.

with the Bruce & Dave show, you never knew what to expect, only that you would be exhausted from laughter by the end.

at one show, they announced there would be no more flinging things into the audience - the legal department from Imagineering sent them both a letter stating it was dangerous and irresponsible, etc.

they made copies of the letter, balled 'em up and flung them out to the audience.

we lost David in 2003 to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. then i found out yesterday Bruce was gone, too.

losing David was like losing your kid brother. you always knew he was there, but you didn't miss him until he was gone. losing Bruce was like losing your crazy uncle - the one who sucked all the air out of a room and left you weak from laughter.

they've both gone. and the world is a little less fun because of it.

i guess that God decided it was time to take the Bruce & Dave Show on the road.
rest in peace, boys.

Dec 20, 2007

the condensed version of my life lately.

can't talk. Husband studying for a flight test on Saturday. so, here's what's going on here 'bouts.

  • took photos. plan on a post of local Christmas lights.
  • tequila.
  • margaritas.
  • good friends.
  • the Jar of Encouragement. oy.
  • adult size onesies. (and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like)
  • vacation day.
  • napping.
  • not even close to being done with shopping.
  • have given up on mailing Christmas cards.

so what's new with you?

Dec 16, 2007

what i did during my blackouts.

and no, not the ones caused by benders.
the ones caused by Husbands Who Feel It's Necessary to Take the Laptop to Work.

not bitter. noooooo.
but i DID forget i promised you photos. here you go.
this is for one of our friends who just had her baby earlier this year. you can't tell, but i think babies made Santa nervous. he looks terror-stricken when you look at the photo up close.

next we have...

letters with a kitty paw for a friend


and front of an ornament for a good friend from work. (sorry, i couldn't get the photo to rotate without losing half of the bottom.)

and these are the ones going to my work group.

and an altered tin for a gift card. man. i hope the dang card fits.

there you go. what i try to do on weekends.

The Leader of the Band

An only child alone and wild
A cabinet makers son
His hands were meant for different work
And his heart was known to none --
He left his home and went his lone and solitary way
And he gave to me a gift I know I never can repay

A quiet man of music denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once but his music wouldnt wait
He earned his love through discipline, a thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand.

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul --
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band.

one of my favorites. Rest in Peace Dan Fogelberg.

Dec 15, 2007

i'm OLD.

almost forgot.

on our many errands today, we stopped @ an electronics store that had a Nintendo DS out with the Brain Age game loaded on it.

seen that yet? it's a game for us adults, to keep our brains nimble & quick.

so the sample game we get? math.

SO the bad choice.

this game starts with the number 74.

now subtract 7 from that total. now subtract 7 again from the new total.

and so on.

guess what? my brain age is 70.

Geritol. yep. it's time for Geritol and Lawrence Welk reruns and blue hair and dining @ 5:30 so we can avoid them whippersnappers.


the answer: about two weeks.

the question: how long does it take to get over a bad hair cut?

i'm in mourning. i never realized how much i've missed my hair stylist girl since she's been gone.

on maternity leave. pffffftttt.

come ON. it's just a baby. we ARE talking about my hair here.

kidding. but you knew that.

Debbie, my stylist, had been travelling down the crappy infertility road we were on for years. then she, like us, just decided that enough was enough and they were done. she and her husband split up, then got back together.

then earlier this year...surprise!!

she left work in October (which was good, she was swollen and miserable) and i'm hoping will come back in January.

the Husband does, too. he started seeing her as well. and since i've been seeing this girl for the last 10 years...well, ain't no one quite as good.

so, i made a stop @ Supercuts, along with Husband, for a little trim.
and color for me.

Gentle Reader - i had a skunk stripe two inches wide that i never saw until a potty break today, when the light in the room just made me scream in horror.


same horror i just had, when i saw my haircut. i said, just a trim, and she made some comment that she needed to 'even something out'

oh dear.

but at least when i got home and styled myself, it turned out better.
and the Pepe Le'Pew look is gone.

thank heavens. i SO was not in the mood to be chased around the city by a horny lil' cartoon.

in other news...

ready for Christmas, Gentle Reader? i think i am. just a few last minute things to do. what really ticks me off, is, here i have made Christmas Cards and so have no ambition to address & mail 'em.

and while i love Christmas, love planning gifts and seeing delight, i have no holiday spirit.

not quite a Bah. Humbug!, but neither am i ready to go caroling.

not sure if it's an attitude, or just feeling sorry for myself. which both really are attitudes, right?

if it's feeling sorry for myself, i'm ready for this to be done. things aren't gonna change. Target is not gonna suddenly carry babies in the Baby Dept. Costco isn't gonna have the value pack on kids.

more's the pity.

i think i need a hot toddy (Maureen, why AREN'T i up there?!)and a video night - A Christmas Story comes to mind.

but i'm not even sure that would help.

humbug indeed.

Dec 14, 2007

seen this one?

sorry. i can't find a video to share. but it's a commercial on Food Network.

an anamated Paula Deen walks up to a snowman, pulls out his carrot nose and replaces it with a stick of butter.

"because everything's better with butter.''

you go, girl.

this is getting old.

i'm going through serious withdrawals.

this no computer crap is for da birds.

the Husband has been taking the laptop to work with him for the last few weeks. but man. i didn't realize how much time after work i spend reading, perusing and researching (read: goofing off) on the 'net until my toy is gone from me.

and all these great ideas i have for posts...until i get home and remember that i don't have the laptop and so can't write 'em down.

yet another good argument for ginkgo whatever.

so - let me work on the Readers' Digest version of where and what for me.

  • temporarily reassigned to yet another supervisor. this should only be until January and i should be going back to my current supervisor. maybe.
  • took today off - did a buttload of laundry, including all our bedding.
  • Christmas shopping. and no, i cannot share. he reads here, y'know.
  • made a present for a friend.
  • napped. naps are goooood.
  • cleaned my stove. it was gross.
  • embarrassed myself at the laundromat. let me explain how:

at my laundromat - when one of the machines is out, there's a note taped over the card reader (this one uses a card like an ATM, no change needed). i'm loading, loading, loading..

and loaded right into the broken one. and shut the door. and locked it.


i went off to find the manager, and after telling her my silliness, she laughs and walks away. i'm thinking that perhaps the language barrier snuck up and i scamper (yes, i occasionally DO scamper) after her and ask if she can unlock the door for me.

she walks over and turns the handle.

yep. that was it. the door opened like magic.

New Rule for Valerie #1,648, 287 - DO NOT go to the laundromat UNTIL YOU'VE HAD CAFFEINE OF SOME SORT.

reasonable request, dontcha think?

and for those of you who do enjoy a good Starbucks - let me share my new fave, if you haven't tried it already - the Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha.

and no, i do not want to know how many calories it has.

in other news...

we had our Bunco Christmas party on Tuesday. our tradition is to go out to dinner, then to the hostesses' home for a gift exchange (where we steal presents and it can get vicious)where i went from having a Wedgewood blue tablecloth with matching napkins and some cheesy looking glass Irish Coffee mugs (don't drink that, thankyouverymuch, but would've loved the tablecloth. then i remembered i have a cat who loves to pull things off other things AND to claw things and got over it. the sting was made easier when i stole the $25 Cheesecake Factory gift card. come on over, girls, dessert's on me!).

longest run on sentence ever just now. wow.

next week - at work and at a friend's home - we're having White Elephant gift exchanges.

now that's fun. and, yes i found the most obnoxious white elephant ever.


when at the swap meet last week, i found this cheesy plastic bird cage with horribly ugly birds in 'em.

it has a motion sensor.

oh yeah. it chirps, moves around and is just horrible. hor-ri-ble.

cannot wait.

because nothing says Christmas like a motion sensor bird cage.

Dec 9, 2007

my wife's gonna put me in a home.

or so says Bill Engvall.

in my case, it's gonna be Brendan.

i realized this a.m., as we wandered through the OC Swap Meet, that on our last trip, i purchased a fruit company packing label.

i don't know where it is.

then i remembered at my trip before this trip to Target, i bought a mini Christmas tree - suitable, as the label said, for small rooms, RV's offices or apartments.

dude. it's a dang foot tall. it's suitable for my old Barbie Dream House.


like i said, i bought this mini tree. i even bought mini ornaments.

i don't know where they are.

so apparently i've lost what was left of my mind. CMS perhaps? (can't 'member shi....) Alzheimer's? hmmm... the possibilities are endless.

so...Kristie? i have an idea for a Christmas present for me. ginkgo biloba.

wait. forget it. i'll just forget where i put it.

looking for answers to life's most difficult questions.

one in a continuing series.

join me as together, we search for the questions to life's hardest questions.

today's stumper:

why is it members of your family ask you to get something from the store the day after you've done a buttload of shopping?

Dec 8, 2007

Wizards of Winter Christmas lights!

talk about Holiday Spirit.

dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

no. i'm NOT having a hot flash.

i'm just feeling pretty dang proud of myself. getting all puffed up and stuff.

'and stuff '? oy. when did i go back to high school? and yes, most likely, no self-respecting high school student would talk that way, right?


back to

i started out having one of those days when, by golly, i was productive.

i finished ornaments for my group @ work. i make two more ornaments. i finished up a project for a girl i know who's baby is having her first Christmas.

pictures? why sure. i'll post some.


i showered (and the angels rejoiced), dressed (my neighbors rejoiced) and headed out to Target, the bank, Michael's AND a little store by work that sells polo shirts that have a pocket in the shirt.

because my stepfather HAS to have a pocket in his shirts so he can stick his glasses in 'em.

then i came home and napped.


well dang. at least i started productive.

haven't done a dang thing with my Christmas cards.
still not sure what i'm getting B for Christmas.
oh and my mom's having knee surgery.

lucky her.

she moved funny a few months ago. messed up her knee, not that she hasn't messed them up many, many times over the years. so apparently this time, she's torn ligaments and they'll go in to fix.

knee surgery isn't good. it really isn't good on a 60-something woman who is, like her daughter, overweight but, unlike her daughter, doesn't move much.

no one's looking forward to it.

at least mamma has decreed that there is no cutting done until after Christmas, which is a good thing, especially since my step-father's granddaughter, husband and their kids are coming out to Disneyland for Christmas.

if i haven't told you already, my great nephew had been fighting leukemia. and while he is doing beyond great, they were chosen by the Make a Wish foundation. his wish, was, you guessed it, to go to Disneyland.

and go they shall.

Mom, on a recent phone call, says, 'well, i think we'll be having dinner Christmas day at the hotel.'

um, what? sorry. i'll stay at home, and order dinner from Knott's, thankyouverymuch.

i'm a little disappointed in myself. i started out this a.m. going great guns. then i kinda petered out. what i need is a wife.

yeah. that's the ticket. any takers?

Dec 5, 2007

what i'm thankful for right now.

(warning: today's post may have more than your recommended daily requirement of sarcasm. use caution and read at your own risk.)

i know it's not Thanksgiving. but the Holiday season is the time to remember your blessings as well, so strap yourself in. this is what i'm thankful for right now.

  • AAA and their $7 dollars worth of gas (which, in Mostly Smoggy So. Cal. averages out to about 1.75 gallons).
  • elaborate Christmas light decorations on other people's houses. because i don't have their electric bill.
  • online shopping. because i get crankier as the minutes pass and cannot stand shopping with huge crowds of illiterate, unwashed and ill-mannered people.
  • tequila. which helps me get through the huge crowds of illiterate, unwashed and ill-mannered people.
  • the Husband who, i'm convinced, thrashes around in bed around 3ish, just so i'll get out of bed and he can have the whole thing to himself.
  • hot showers. (are you reading, apartment manager?)
  • Mama P's post on 'keeping up with the Jones.'
  • being moved at work. again.

did i mention AAA and their gas?

tis the season to be jolly.

Dec 4, 2007

last Saturday...

over the weekend, the Husband & i made one of our frequent forays down to San check the mail in a PO Box he has and to pick up a cd put out by a radio station he always listened to when he lived down there. we can even get it up here most days.

really funny stuff.


a trip down there usually makes me ask if we can stop at one of my favorite stores, which he goes for. and of course, since he has no interest in scrapbooking or whether or not these are the cutest dang brads evah, will stay in the car.

this time, however, nature called so he ran in with me.

running. the operative word.

on his way back, he actually hung out with me for a few minutes before he got all creeped out and hightailed it back to the truck.

and while there, i showed him this. i want it. bad. and, at only $60, it's pretty reasonable.
will he buy it for me? nope. why?

i need to be surprised at Christmas. (insert rolling of eyes here)


so as he headed back out to the truck, laughing at me, i called him mean.
and behind the counter, an employee, who witnessed the whole thing, was laughing at us.

'should i call security?' she asks?
'no,' i say. 'just make him buy it for me now.'
she laughs.

'y'know,' she says, 'we could take you out to the truck and tell him we caught you stealing it, and the only way we won't press charges is for him to buy it.'

we both laugh. then i said, 'no - go out there and tell him you're arresting me for stealing it.'

we both laugh again. then she looks at me, with an evil gleam in her eye.

'want me to?'

holy freaking crap. this is my kinda chick.

so it came to pass, that this girl AND another employee, walked out to the truck (while i hid behind a display, laughing my butt off), tapped on the window and informed my Husband that i was being held for shoplifting. after his initial shock, he asked what i took, and when they told him, he started laughing.

at that point, i called on his cell and when he answered, proceeded to do my best acting, weeping and sobbing that they were gonna put me in the hoosegow.

'i know,' he said. 'i told 'em to keep you.'

ah, love.
there's nothing like it.

i'm really not stupid. continued.

in case you've been living under a rock, it's the holiday season. time to be busy, busy, busy and to shop till you drop.

and to be stupid.

last night, i was sooooo stupid.


yeah, i said it. ran out of gas.

what a dumba...

from an early age, it has been drummed in my head that to run out of gas was not only foolish, but irresponsible. and while it's right, it only serves to make me feel worse.

i knew i was low. but i was putting off the inevitable. i gambled and lost.

i had pulled out of the grocery store parking lot when it happened. and of course, the car just died...along with the power steering. for one brief stupid moment, i thought hey! i can push the car over to that parking lot!!

hmmmm. wait. maybe i am stupid. i drive a dang Chevy Blazer. it's huge as an ox and just as heavy.

so after i called AAA, i called the Husband so he could laugh. to his credit, he didn't. AAA showed up, gave me a gallon and yes, i hightailed it over to the nearest gas station. and filled it up.

what have we learned here? well, a few things:

  • always have AAA. you never know when you'll need 'em.
  • do not bet against your gas gauge. you will not win.

and most importantly - always make sure you have a blog - so you can share your "d'oh!" moments with the entire world wide internet.

Dec 3, 2007

i so do not like Mondays.

especially Mondays that i have to work.

which is pretty much every Monday.

Husband spent all of yesterday doing homework. i did laundry, two loads in the dishwasher, fixed a clock i altered for a friend AND did some shopping, while wondering what i'm getting a friend i work with.

and no, i still have no idea.

Christmas is such a wonderful season. the only time when the world seems united by the feeling of joy, peace and love that always feels palatable this time of year.

it's just the freaking shopping that drives me up a stinking wall.

everyone has people on their list that are hard to buy for. some of my friends are dang near impossible.
and it's not as if she doesn't give hints. oh noooooo.

we can go shopping for someone else (or something else) and she will walk the aisle ooohing and awwwing over stuff she likes. she will ask for gift ideas for you, and then turn around and tell you what she wants as well.

it's a little annoying to me, and i'm not sure why.

i'm trying to get over it. after all, this is the Season of Giving, not the Season of Getting an Ulcer.

although sometimes the two walk hand in hand.

happy shopping.

Dec 1, 2007


from Steff. just to put you in a holiday frame of mind...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
gift bags, if i can swing it. i SO cannot wrap. my mom, however, can wrap the beegeebers out of everything. how come i didn't get that gene?

2. Real tree or Artificial?
real. all the way. even though i'm really allergic to pine trees, i still love 'em. i just try to not touch 'em.

3. When do you put up the tree?
it varies. the Husband likes to have it up as late as possible, especially since it's a live tree.

4. When do you take the tree down?
generally the week of New Year's. growing up, my Auntie Kay would leave the tree up until the 15th. that was her birthday. never mind that, until she decided to purchase an artificial tree, the tree was a complete fire hazard. a breeze would snap branches off.

5. Do you like eggnog? yum-o. non-alcoholic for me, thanks, and also eggnog ice cream.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
way too many. but probably my Suzy Homemaker oven. like the EasyBake. ah, how many crappy chocolate cakes did i force my family to eat?

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
we have two. one we got as a Christmas gift and the other is a cute femo clay set

8. Hardest person to buy for?
the Husband. he buys what he wants.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
all the kids in my life.

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?

11. Mail or email Christmas card?
mail. but i have been known to email 'em, too.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story. you'll shoot your eye out, kid.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
all the time. especially if i find something i KNOW someone else would like.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
i'll take the Fifth on that one.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
ev-ery-thing. which is why my bum is the size of New York City.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
colored on the tree. heck, i love Christmas lights - no matter what they are.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Angels We Have Heard on High

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
every other year, we go to the sister's for Christmas. so when we're home, it's Christmas Eve at my mom's (because she cannot wait to open gifts. seriously.), we have our own Christmas morning, then will have dinner (courtesy of Knott's) at mom's.

19. Can you name Santa's reindeers?
you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen/Comet and Cupid and Richard M. Nixon. wait...wrong song?

20. Do you have an Angel on top or a star?
a star i bought for our first Christmas together.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
gifts at my mom's on Christmas eve. stockings Christmas morning. and when we're home we have our Christmas on Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing(s) about this time of year?
people in the mall. grrrrr...

your turn!

where in the world IS she?

there. and everywhere.

the Husband is better, thanks for asking. but here's the rub of where i've been...he's been taking the laptop to work lately to work on his schoolwork. so, when i get home (when i usually check in on y'all and write)from work, no laptop.

no laptop-no blogging.

no blogging-no fun.

no fun-cranky me.

today's December 1st. hard to believe we're down to the last few weeks of this year. AND only 23 more shopping days until Christmas.

good grief.

it rained here yesterday...SO love the rain - it's the latent Oregon gene in me. i am completely happy just sitting and watching it rain. however, my job has other ideas. they are SUCH bah humbugs.

back to Christmas. i cannot believe it's almost here. i still have Christmas cards to finish, much less address, buy stamps for & mail. presents to buy. gifts to finish. a Christmas dinner to order from Knott's (oh yummiest of yums!), and of course all the cooking, baking and stuff that comes with this time of year.

i just need more time to do it all in. just like everyone else.

speaking of Christmas...

the fun part is buying gifts for kids. at least for me. especially when i'm buying gifts i know they want. the look when they open it and see it.

that rocks.

i have memories of gifts like that. the Barbie i wanted more than life itself. the Barbie makeup head. (looking back, it's a little disturbing. especially when i would take the head off and stick it on a broomstick, THEN put one of my dresses on the broomstick with duct tape.

i'm thinking now i probably would have benefitted from some sort of psychiactic help back then.

then there was the Valerie doll i SO wanted. i mean how often does a doll come out named Valerie? she was blonde. she was cute. AND she was named Valerie.

i got paper dolls named Valerie.

don't get me wrong. i was an only child, but believe me, i wasn't spoiled. i had three cousins that were as spoiled as the day was long. THEY got Vidal Sassoon jeans. I got Toughskins. not that big a thing, but the line was there.

30 years later, i got my dang Valerie doll. thank heavens for eBay.

and i love it.

see? a Christmas wish is a good one...even fulfilled some 30 years later.