Apr 24, 2006

love for sale

How cool is this?

If you haven't seen this already, head on over to Karen Russell's blog. What she is doing is amazing...and sounds like a ton of fun.

Go check it out. Not only will you be doing something so wonderful for other women in this world, but you could get lucky enough to have Becky Higgins, or Melissa Inman, or even Cathy Zielske create a scrapbook page for you.

Now how cool is that? You do good, and maybe get a Designer page.

Go on. Check out Karen's blog. Then go to Paypal. i'll wait.

Apr 22, 2006

you're only as young as you feel...look...whatever.

so today, i'm driving to the store (joy!) to do grocery shopping (joy! joy!), and i'm feeling, well...young.

like i'm back in my 20's.

young, free & single. blasting Keith Urban. rocking out in my truck.

and, in the store, i catch my reflection.

to quote William Shatner in "Miss congeniality", "who is that old man wearing my pajamas?"

or old broad. whatever.

totally shattered my self-image.

not that i want to be in my 20's again. too much hassle. just felt good to feel young, not an overweight, graying broad who's had back surgery.


oh well. i'll still be blasting Keith. or Garth. or whoever i happen to have in the cd player. probably even in my 50's and beyond.

on to non-self pitying news...

reached my 10% weight loss at WW last night...woo hoo! what's my goal? don't really have one. just wanna get a really cute pair of non-plus size jeans. also changed WW centers, and i love it there! the chick leading the meeting was funny, the people participated & were fun to boot. i even wrote a letter to WW corporate to complain about the leader at the old center. i hope something changes over there, losing weight is hard enough without a skinny bee-atch asking you sarcastically if your weight gain is OK. but of course - i love paying $11/week so i can put the weight back on. whatever.

wanna do some scrapping tonight...got some killer ideas (that i frankly stole) i want to put on paper and some equally killer photos of some very cute kids that are begging to be put on paper.

so, let's just warn the public right now...Keith will be blasting from my cd player tonight.

BTW - Cathy's new book is out. got my copy yesterday and ya gotta love this book. believe me, if you loved her first one, the second one will put you over the edge. i'm ready to go through it again.

go. buy. now.

that's it. off to fix some dinner & do some playing with paper & glue. have a great rest-of-the-weekend, everyone!

Apr 21, 2006

didja miss me??

or did you even know i was gone?

back from Reno last night...what a great time. well, most of it. we began packing up my mother-in-law's place - so sad. feel horrible for her kids...but on to other stuff.

a few truths i discovered this week:

* children who eat nothing but chocolate will have more energy than all the armies of all the nations put together. i say we feed all the kids of the world all the chocolate they can handle & set 'em loose on every terrorist that walks this earth. they would give up their evil ways just to get some peace & quiet.

* my sister in law is now guilty of starting me on another obsession. first it was scrapbooking, now it's Keith Urban. i spent more time watching him on CMT, listening to albums, and i'm now ready to be a card-carrying member of Monkeyville. oh mercy. am i so weak? apparently so.

* speaking of weak. another truth: i, as a 43 year old, registered voter, licensed driver, have NO immunity against the germs of a 3 & 5 year old. yep, got sick. totally stuffed up, sore throat, chest cold kinda sick. see what happens when you lose weight?

*oh, and this was my Easter Sunday (above). started snowing Sunday and this was Monday. by Tuesday, it was most all gone. but it was loverly while it lasted.

Off to get my hair "fixed". i love being a girl.

Apr 12, 2006

another mantra

and a good one. saw it on a commercial on the Discovery channel. truly words to live by. enjoy!

Open your Mind and Shut your Mouth.


it's a pity party...

and you are invited for the ride!

i've really had the blues the last few days...for several reasons:

1) off to Reno for Easter, and it'll be the first time we've seen my MIL since she's been at her new home at the convalescent home. worried about how my husband will take it, seeing his mom like this. they're both very close, so i'm dreading it. if you are a praying person, please keep my husband in your prayers. he's not a praying person, so all the more reasons.

2) oh boy. i leave Saturday so i get to fly by myself. if you're a regular reader, you may remember i hate flying. so - i'm sure i'll be paying a visit to a bar prior to my flight...a bloody mary is in the cards..although Southwest does make a mighty fine one. so do say a prayer for me as well.

3) baby fever has returned. found out this week that the Big Boss at work is finally pregnant...and i got depressed. again. last night we were playing Bunco, and the hostess has a four year old & almost two year old. very cute, loving, adorable kids who, for whatever reason, both really like me.

4) found out today that Big Boss's hormone levels are dropping. prayers would be appreciated that she doesn't miscarry. so after i found that out, i felt guilty for being jealous of her.

all i ever wanted in this life was to have a family. to be a mommy. i don't know why we were denied this, but i have to believe there's a reason. i just can't see it and will never understand in this life.

let's face it: i know IVF is an option, but it is horribly expensive, even with insurance. and at my age, the chances of a successful pregnancy is low. so i know, you could be thinking "well, if you really wanted a baby, you'd do it." it's hard. and it sucked, back when i was on my hormones, taking temps, trying to find the optima time to "do it" then, after doing it, to practically sit on my head, trying to get those little swimmers to their goal.

then your period comes and you realize another month is gone, and you're only another month older.

adoption doesn't seem to be an option for us...and that's all i will say about that.

so, i'm sitting here, welling up, feeling sorry for myself.

but it's Easter. a time for Hope. for Renewal. for Peace.

i could use all of the above. and it's my wish for you, that you find lots of that in your Easter basket.

Apr 11, 2006

silly things

for a silly day.

our new porch mat. ain't it great?

it was between this & another one...i gave in & let my husband have his way...in choosing the mat. :o)

the one i loved was as follows:
Well Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit -
Looks Who's Here!

too stinking funny.

off to play Bunco tonight...let's see if i can win anything!

Apr 9, 2006

insominia is a terrible thing...

and lately it seems to like to visit me.

don't know why. i can go to sleep just fine & dandy. but i wake up...

and can't go back to sleep.

so today - i woke up at 3:30. don't know why.

and i can't go to sleep.

again - don't know why.

but - on the bright side, we are off to the swap meet here in the O.C. later on this morning.

well not much later - probably in an hour or so...but who cares!! i love this swap meet - it really does have everything: door mats (which we will be purchasing today), jewelry, socks, and of course the usual (and my favorite) cleaners & other products with their hawkers.

oh, and produce. really, really good produce and flowers, too.

and beer. yep, nothing says shopping at the swap meet like beer at 8a.m. now if they only sold Bloody Mary's.

it's like going on a treasure hunt. you never know whatcha gonna find.

kinda like early morning t.v.

so now the Hubbs is watching Bloodwork on t.v. with Clint Eastwood. it's not a comedy but dang if i didn't just have the biggest laugh ever while watching this.

keep this in mind, Clint is, of course, playing a retired FBI who's had heart transplant surgery, and the heart he got is from a woman who was killed during a robbery. and Clint is trying to find the killer, who is probably a serial killer.

so i told you that story to tell you this one. the reason i laughed hard is because there was a scene with Clint, going after the bad guy with a shotgun. he shot the hell out of the bad guy's car, who of course, got away. then Clint's compadre, the LA sheriff, shoots at the car.

but doesn't hit it at all.

so, wait. you really mean to tell me that a retired FBI agent who's had heart transplant surgery can shoot the crap out of a car but an active sheriff couldn't hit the broad side of...well...a Ford?

oy. no wonder the rest of the nation laughs at us here in California.

i'll say this much. for as old as Clint is, he does stay in good shape. looking at him shirtless is much nicer than say, looking at Leslie Nielson shirtless.

which is just not right.

kinda like being up at 3:30.

hope you had a good night sleeping.

Happy Palm Sunday.


Apr 8, 2006

miles to go before i sleep...

and when i say sleep, i mean the Big Dirt Nap.

chipper thought, huh?

i was thinking this morning about all the things i want to do before i leave this earth. don't know how far i'll get, but dang do i want to give it a shot.

here's a short list ( in no particular order):
Places to Visit:
* Japan

* Hawaii

* the Caribbean

* Utah

* Ireland

* New England

* Alaska

* China

* England

* Discovery Cove ( a place in Florida where you can swim with dolphins. i would SO love that!)

and, add to this, places i want to go back to:
Washington DC

things i wanna do:
*get published (scrapbooking, photography, writing, i ain't too picky)

*be able to quit & travel the country in an RV, stopping at every state

* throw out a pitch at an Angels or Padres game (but hey, i'd take any team if offered!)

*write the Great American Novel

* learn to scuba dive

* learn to ride a motorcycle

* open my own scrapbook store (oooh - here's a concept: CUSTOMER SERVICE - listening, Scrapbook Depot?)

* get back on track on the whole WW things...hasn't been a good last few weeks. if i do that, then i can...

* get a size 12 jean (OK, a 10 would be even better, but i don't think that's reasonable. a 12 however...)

*sigh* so many goals, so little life to accomplish them in.

Apr 7, 2006

things that make you go hmmmmm

or wow.

or what th'...

or no way.

whatever and however you take it, it be the truth.

every fantastic Hollywood-esq word.

i was born in So. Cal. - but could easily have been a Pacific Northwest chick...if things had just worked a little differently.

my parents weren't married when i was born. not that shocking an admission today, but back in the 60's..., well - THAT, my friends, was wrong.

especially when the Parental Units were living in a small town up there.

yup, the Sperm Donor (hence called this because he has done NOTHING to warrant being called a dad) and his family not only rejected my mom, but my very existence.

nice, huh.

a bit of a creep. unfortunately or fortunately, i have his eyes, hair & wacky sense of humor.

wishing i had more qualities of my mom, but that's another blog entry.

so, my mom & grandma packed up & moved down here. felt like they had to, since it was a small town & very heavily involved in the local church. 'sides, that sort of thing just wasn't done back then.

we lived with my grandma's sister & her husband for years. now here, to quote Jimmy Buffett, is where it gets bizarre.

my mom & grandma eventually moved out to share a house. i, for reasons i have yet to fathom, stayed there with my great aunt.

who i thought was my mom.

seriously. had no idea who my actual mom was until i was 13, and my Mom, driving me home from a shopping trip, pulled over to drop that little tidbit of info on me.

after i got home, stunned to say the least, my great aunt, who until that moment had been my mom, actually said she didn't think i ever needed to know.


i actually started developing a better relationship with my real mom after i was 18, and left my great aunt's home. (she developed Alzheimer's and was really getting crazy.) today, we have a wonderful relationship, but obviously not the same as it should be.

and yes, i'm still angry.

angry that i was lied to for 13 years. angry that some SOB was so selfish that he couldn't be bothered with a potential wife & a most real daughter. angry that both my Mom & i were cheated out of having a different and better relationship.

you can't make up for that.

to sound very L.A., i've had a LOT of therapy to deal with it. believe me, i'm feeling much better now.

so what's my point?

certainly not to feel sorry for me. heaven knows i don't. i'm just trying to deal with everything we get tossed each day.

my point is to cherish & nurture the relationships you have - whether with your parents, siblings, children, friends or lovers.

keep them real. keep them honest. just keep them.

and they will keep you - even in your darkest day.

Apr 4, 2006

one more rambling...

just saw this on Food Network.

tonight's toast:
May all your joys be pure joys, and all your pain champagne.

love it.

gotta go. apparently a spider decided to make me their dinner. i've got about four little bites on my belly. hopefully, i'm so nasty that i've killed the little bastard. poisoned his (or her!)sorry hairy legs.

p.s. - it stopped raining. starting to think i was back in Oregon.

Tuesday Thoughts...

who says we're too old to read Dr. Seuss? just something to think about...my new mantra.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
---Dr. Seuss

not surprising...

i'm on my way to geekdom. **sigh**

guess i'm less cool than even i thought i was (HA!).

your turn:
how geeky are you?