Mar 28, 2007
"want to get in the shower with me?" i ask. i mean, at this point, i'm hoping she won't be scarred for life by seeing me nekkid.
sure, she responded (did i mention she was also nekkid?).
so along we went, me finishing scrubbing up and what not, when she pointed at my, um...
neatheregions and asked:
"is that your weenie?" (everyone, whether a girl or boy, has a weenie)
yep, i respond. matter-of-fact, i figure. short quick answers are best.
she then flips at the, um....hair down there.
"it sure is furry."
just check your dignity at the door, Gentle Reader. check it at the door.
Mar 26, 2007
not Rio. Reno. the Biggest Little City in the West.
and dude. it snowed tonight.
now while Linda and Allison and all my other snowbound friends are rolling on the ground, laughing their butts off at me, we will ignore them to say it rocked.
totally cool to watch from the inside of a nice warm house, whilst i, the California Girl, was completely enamored and tried to take photos.
so if you know how to take photos of it snowing, let me know.
around 8pm, we drove down the hill from my sister-in-law's to Reno proper to pick up Cousin Marlen tonight. she's been flying since 3AM PST from Dublin to Atlanta to Reno.
and got stuck next to a man who, let's just say ate a LOT of broccoli before he got on the plane.
along with cabbage, soda, and every other gassy food/drink combo.
the oxygen masks should've been dispatched, i say.
so tomorrow, the real adventure begins.
we're taking her to Costco.
so as the snow was for me, Costco's gonna be for this girl.
more dispatches from the road.
Mar 24, 2007
Mar 22, 2007
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless - Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright- you'll be alright
Chorus:Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong, Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you Stand
Then you stand
Life's like a novel - With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon - With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Everytime you get up - And get back in the race
One more small piece of you Starts to fall into place
Chorus:Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up - Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong, Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand
here's to all of us standing.
all i need now is for the two of you to start on me to get my nose pierced. (please?!)
It’s a Two-by-Two survey.
Two Names You Go By:
1. Valerie 2. Valshmal
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. peasant shirt 2. green wraparound skirt
Two Things You Have in a Relationship:
1. humor 2. Commitment
Two of Your Favorite Things to Do:
1. write. 2. scrapbook
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. baby 2. baby
Two Pets You Had:
1. a dog named Cricket 2. a cat named Elvis
Two People Who Will Fill This Out (Maybe):
1. Susie 2. Cyn
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Watched Food Network 2. drank some mighty fine wine
Two Things You Ate Today:
1. a salad 2 banana
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Kristie 2. Maureen
Two Places You Would Like to Go:
1. Hawaii 2. Reno
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. Work 2. laundry
Two Longest Car Rides:
1. driving to & from Oregon with my grandma & great auntie when i was a teenager. oy.
2. coming home one Thanksgiving from Reno and driving thru the Donner Pass while the temp dropped & a storm was coming in behind us. oy.oy.
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas 2. Memorial Weekend (because it's usually my birthday!)
Two Guilty Pleasures:
1.yellow cake batter 2. scrapbook supply shopping
Two Things that Make Me Laugh:
1. Christopher Titus 2. Brendan
Two Things I Last Got in the Mail:
1. Every Day with Rachael Ray 2. company credit card bill
your turn...let me know if you play!
Mar 21, 2007
Mar 19, 2007
Mar 18, 2007
Mar 17, 2007
and you don't?
i had one of those yesterday.
driving to get my meds, i just happened to look over to the curb and in the gutter was some water.
and about four little birds having the time of their lives.
they were splashing. chirping. basically a Kodak moment. me without a camera.
i entertained the thought of zooming back home, grabbing the camera and snapping a few, but realized the opportunity would be gone.
and i was so sad. but i still have it engraved in the memory book of my brain.
hopefully, when i'm old...way old...and can't even remember how old i am, that i can remember how freaking happy those birds were at their own water park in Buena Park.
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil know you're dead.
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" "
Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees. "Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
And the best one......
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Mar 16, 2007
these were the first meds (and medical visit) since we changed insurance at work. so imagine my surprise when, at Walgreens, the pharmacist told me my total was $138.
onehundredthirtyeight dollars. American.
for 15 pills.
oy. i have no idea how anyone without health insurance does it.
oops. the pharmacist says. apparently the tech who took your info missed a digit or two off your card.
so i feel better. then i feel hungry, sort of. so i make some toast.
and i feel nauseous all over again.
so i take the little pill that makes me un-nauseous.
if that's even a word.
and it works.
in other discoveries made today...
the Husband called to let me know that if you order a coffee with a shot of espresso, it's called a Red Eye.
if you order one with two shots, it's called a Black Eye.
he only has a Red Eye today.
so i'm actually thankful i only had to wear it on a hospital band.
but i had to wear the bloody thing for eight hours.
eight freaking hours.
i'm not complaining because other people who were probably bleeding went ahead of me. it just seemed like last night the ER wasn't in it's "A" game. everything seemed behind and discombobulated.
and when they lost my, um, pee sample... well Gentle Reader, that just about pushed me over the edge.
thankfully they found it again.
but the burning question must be asked: how can you lose pee?
the verdict? gastroenteritis (a nice way of saying i have a stomach bug and i have to work it through) and a low grade infection that should be nipped in the bud by the antibiotics i need to go get.
i wasn't about to get it filled last night...wrong - this morning. poor Husband had to get some sleep.
well, actually - he got more sleep than i did.
we got there at 7pm. i was released @ 3:30. in the a.m.
i thought 3:30 a.m. only showed up when i couldn't sleep. at home.
so when i go get my prescriptions filled, i'm also picking up our corned beef for tomorrow.
i found a real honest to gosh butcher who takes orders for corned beef and will do it in their shop.
so regardless of how i feel about food right now, the Husband will at least eat good.
besides, how can i say no to fresh soda bread? hot? with butter?
Mar 15, 2007
Mar 14, 2007
came home early from work today with...um...tummy issues.
i feel like crap and i want my mommy. especially since Husband is not a good nurse. since he wants to be left alone when he's sick, he assumes that's what everyone else wants.
but on the good side, i just ate rice and it isn't...um...returning.
that's always a good thing.
so i promise to feel better and be more interesting and less me me me me tomorrow.
Mar 12, 2007
not necessarily famous ones. no quotes from Kennedy, from Aristotle or even from W.
just things you say every day.
for example, my friend's mom is famous for "i don't care if it hair-lips every cow in Texas!"
and no, we have no idea what the heck it means.
apparently, mine is "oh for the love of God and all that is holy." usually said in an oh so sarcastic tone.
so what say you? what are you famous for? tell it!
see? Joni Mitchell was right. they paved paradise to put up a parking lot.
Mar 10, 2007
a snoring husband next to me in our recliner.
a belly full of chardonnay.
no trips for us today, the Husband had to replace a tire, which of course took all bloody day.
i did purchase a 4-disk pack of Hits of the 70's (i'm sooooo old), because anything that has three Osmond songs is worth my money.
did i mention the chardonnay?
happy Saturday. Spring forward tonight, dammit. (i HATE springing forward)
Mar 9, 2007
if you played, what did you think? did you make any new friends this week?
i'm looking for some ideas for something quick to do over the weekend. any weekend. i'm dealing with some serious cabin fever.
we haven't taken a vacation since...crap! 2004. we usually go in October (kids are back in school, weather has cooled, but isn't too cool), and in '05 i had my surgery, then last year B was having some rough times @ work, so he didn't feel right going off for a week.
so what can be done in a weekend? (don't say Vegas, we've got gas at almost $3/gal, and i don't wanna spend money to spend more money once i get there)
ideas. i need 'em. happy Friday, all!
Mar 8, 2007
i love working because of the challenge each new day brings. Every day is a chance for me to be able to face new obstacles and find a new way to meet them head-on.
i also appreciate the people i work with. Every day, they do everything they can to make my job easier and smoother, so i can leave at the end of a day with a smile on my face, head held high that i have done worthwhile work each and every day.
Oh, and of course there's the money, but i wouldn't be so crass as to say i only work for money.
Today was one of those days where i was damning the powers that be because WE didn't win the lotto. And if they had come by and said they were eliminating my job, well, i'd-a had my desk packed up before they got their little speech of how "this isn't a reflection on your work, but just a matter of budgets, blah, blah, blah."
Then, to have my new supervisor rebuke me because i didn't ask for help. Oh, my bad...first off, i hate asking for help, and secondly, who would i have asked? You, oh supervisor, were busy having someone else in our group work a special project so she couldn't get her job done, my old supervisor is coming in nights (and wasn't much help even when she was my supervisor), and the other two were doing other projects as well.
Besides, (i thought to myself) the Big Boss has stated on more than one occasion, when any of the supervisors see how many ads i have incomplete on a day is over 20, they are to jump in and help me clear reports. No asking necessary.
But no one seems to remember that. Because i'm so good at what i do. (but really because no one wants to do my job.)
So i get my hands slapped while i'm so freaking frustrated, i can't even look at him, because i know i'll start crying.
Ain't it great to be a girl??
i get tired of complaining about the same thing over & over. i have people at my department that will seriously look me in the eye and say "i didn't know it was a rush. it wasn't tagged." never mind that you get a memo every day that says what is going to press that day. my bad it wasn't tagged.
What i want to do, is every time i find someone not working in priority, is make them work my reports for even half a day.
They'd be soooo happy to go back to their normal job, they'd be dancing...and likely never EVER work out of order again.
**sigh** i guess if you've read this far, then you deserve a "get out of jail free" card. So instead, i'll give you a "get out of a whining blog entry" card.
i'm up for many reasons. the first one was that about 45 minutes ago, the Husband came to bed. (don't know if he fell asleep out here on the couch or not) since he doesn't come to bed gently and quietly, i'm sure that was a factor.
and the moon was right in my eye.
but that wasn't a pizza pie. big or otherwise.
so...what else is going on in the [Random Thoughts] universe?
* once again, i can hear the downstairs neighbor's TV. thankfully it's not as loud as it has been. but i gotta wonder: is this what i have to look forward to when i get older? oy.
* the Husband is stoked...work is giving him a Crackberry, er, Blackberry. dang. just when i thought the Geek Utility Belt was getting pared down. (the GUB, so named by himself, not me, is all the crap he has on his belt: cell phone, Palm unit, and until recently, a pager[he's had a pager as long as i've known him])
* my mom is heading off today to a beach town today for a weekend of quilting. yep. quilting. apparently scrappers aren't the only ones who have weekend crops. and she's been doing this for the last three years.
* more Husband news...he drove up to Culver City last night (about 40 minutes on a good traffic day) for a work reception. i have no idea if it was fun or not; i was sleeping with the tv on.
*another perk of living in Mostly Smoggy So. Cal - we get to be the first in the nation for soooo many things.
like $3/gal. gas.
ain't we lucky?!
*oh, and i'll be giving a sales presentation next week. lucky, lucky me.
so, other than a mild insomnia, that's all going on in my world. what about your world?
just don't get up @ 3a.m. to tell us about it.
Mar 5, 2007
(you back? good. let's go)
travel back to the year 1978. i was in high school, living with my crazy Auntie Kay.
oh and talking on the phone.
because that's all teenagers ever do. well, that & homework.
my favorite spot to chat was, of course, in the kitchen. close proximity to snacks and an extra long phone cord that travelled easily around the kitchen.
this night, i was on the phone with my best friend, yakking about school, our Rainbow Girls Assembly functions, and what-not.
and i was barefoot. as usual.
across from our phone in the kitchen, we had shelving where we kept dry goods. cereals, crackers, flour - the usual. and, as usual, barefoot me was playing with the items with my foot.
when...Mickey's cousin ran across my barefoot, after i scared him by moving his buffet of oatmeal.
my friend, panicked, thinking i was being attacked, or the house was being broken in to, or a 8ft tall monster was destroying our house.
nope, just a mouse.
and all the street cred i had built up as not being a typical chick who was scared of mice, spiders, blah, blah, blah went right across my foot.
along with Mickey.
moral of the story? pray that the words you utter today are sweet - you may be eating them tomorrow.
oh, and make sure you have plenty of mouse traps on hand.
well, now don't that beat all.
i went to the grocery store today. my third time this week. i'm still getting used to cooking every.damn.night for us.
besides, it's too hot to bake a lasagna (apologies to everyone still up to their necks in snow).
i'm feeling rather young & hip today. cute, new top. matching earrings & bracelet. way cute shoes (that i have forgiven for spilling their dye all over my feet).
i know i'm not 20. or even 25. but at least i feel like it, not like i'm almost 45.
while checking out, the new courtesy clerk, is bagging my items, kinda nervously. it is, after all, his first day. when finished, he says, "thanks, ma'am - can i help you carry these out?"
"no thanks," i smile, then add my usual joke "but you can come help me carry them upstairs."
he grins a tin-filled grin. "sure, ma'am! i'd do that for my grandma."
why you little......
what the sam hill's a-goin' on here? i look like his grandma? yeah, if his mom is 20.
well, so much for all the Olay products, alpha-hydroxy and line reducers. first thing i'm gonna do when i get home is dump 'em in the trash, and cancel all my hair coloring, er...enhancing appointments for the rest of my life.
oh yeah, and go back to the store and beat the snot out of that kid with my AARP card & my walker.
Mar 4, 2007
1. a person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.
2. a person who practices one of the fine arts, esp. a painter or sculptor.
3. a person whose trade or profession requires a knowledge of design, drawing, painting, etc.: a commercial
4. a person who works in one of the performing arts, as an actor, musician, or singer; a public performer: a
artist; an artist of the dance.
5. a person whose work exhibits exceptional skill.
6. a person who is expert at trickery or deceit: He's an artist with cards.
7. Obsolete. an artisan.
[Origin: 1575–85; <>art1, -ist]
—Synonyms 1. Artist, artisan are persons having superior skill or ability, or who are capable of producing superior work. An artist is a person engaged in some type of fine art. An artisan is engaged in a craft or applied art.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
what defines an artist?
you see what dictionary.com calls it. i was thinking about it today. what exactly is an artist?
someone with talent? possibly. someone starving for their art in a Paris garret? could be. someone getting paid for what they do?
i like that one.
i decided what defines an artist is passion. passion for what you do, for what you create, for what you are. what you love.
you may not be a Renoir, or an Ansel Adams, or even a Donna Downey. but if you have passion for what you create and it makes you happy, then, Gentle Reader, no matter if you make a penny for it, get a review in the local or national paper, or even get published in National Geographic.
or Creating Keepsakes.
feed the passion. ignite it. and jump on.
it's one helluva ride.
- i have the house to mahself. can i get an amen? Husband is off to a car parts/accessories/cars for sale swap meet in Pomona. good time for him to do some male bonding and then off to work for an hour or so.
- it is 9:52 PST. i have been up since 5. (this is the good part, not what time i got up) in this time i have shopped, laundered, shopped some more. currently my furbaby is marking a hand truck i used to help BadBackGirl carry all this crap i bought and laundered into my abode.
- my new, glorious Target has a Starbucks in it. Starbucks. gadzooks, if they'd only add a Krispy Kreme, the circle of life would be complete for me.
- did i mention the house all to myself? i did? dang.
- Batman Begins is ready to go on the DVD. if i haven't mentioned, i am a card-carrying sucker for any and all comic book movies. this one is no exception. and Christian Bale? daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
- today is the L.A. Marathon. i am NOT running it.
- it's windy. March is in like a lion, and if i'da thought about it at the little slice of heaven called Target, i coulda bought a kite. then we could have some fun.
much to be happy about. what about you?
and while you're at it...a prayer or two for a friend of mine who had a little surgery recently. apparently she doesn't like the vicadin. whatever. i still like her.
may your day be as happy as mine.
Mar 2, 2007
diet Coke? check.
check that sangria is good? scheckkkk.
cocktail wienies? check.
cheese platter? che....OK, hold on - who ate on the cheese platter? Brendan, i'm looking at you!
disco ball & Bee-Gees albums? check and check.
OK - well, i think we're ready to get this party started! i am officially #407 in this blog party, and so since we all need name tags, i'll put mine on and bore you to tears with the nonsensical ramblings that many of my Gentle Readers (hopefully you'll be a new one - let me know!) have come to expect from me.
My name is Valerie. (and yes, i am gonna make you play the game where you need a food that starts with the same letter as your name. mine is Valencia oranges) i live in the OC where i am neither a teenager, or a horny housewife (shut up, April!) wearing Versace. i'm just a middle-aged broad who waited a long time for my husband. we exist quite happily with each other and our furbaby, Elvis the WonderKat.
i've live in Mostly Smoggy Southern California my entire life. i'm an only child, and no, i wasn't spoiled growing up. i'm a photographer who can't focus, a writer who's illiterate, an artist with no talent and a singer with double no talent. i love reading, scrapbooking, cross-stitching, the beach (de rigour for a native southern Californian) and creating nicer crap out of other crap.
i have no tan. i'm not skinny and my boobs are my own (three myths dispelled about all OC wives!)
thanks for stopping by. i hope you enjoy this station in your blog-party jumping. do sign the guestbook (aka - leave a comment!) so i can thank you again for checking me out!
happy party hopping. now i need to go start the Hustle dance lessons.
Mar 1, 2007
i was asked by The Big Boss to give a presentation on my job and how it involves everyone to be on page with what they're supposed be doing.
at the end of the presentation, i ask "Does anyone have any questions?"
and from the back of the room, a guy i've worked with since i started asks (trying to be funny), "Yeah, what's your real hair color?"
nice. and he's married. what a catch.
"i'll tell you when you tell me where you got your hair plugs."
in other news...
i heard on the news today that charges were being dropped against a UC Riverside student who was cussing here at John Wayne Airport, near some kids.
so now of course, she's gonna sue the OC.
probably she shouldn't have been charged in the first place, but then again, my humble opinion is that a 26 year old grad student shouldn't be dropping the F-bomb, especially near some kids.
effing dumb a$@.