this week has kicked my asterisk.

the first full week after Christmas and New Year's sucky-suck-sucks. always.
not only do you have the holiday hangover/burnout, but it's the first full week back at work/school, and that, my friends, is just full of it.

bleah.

not only that, but i'm suffering from photo withdrawal. i'm so in need of some good subject matter, but dang it, by the time i get out of work, when the light is golden & perfect, i'm too beat to do anything.

speaking of photos...here's reason # 4,578, 391 why i am the Queen of the Doofuses.

this past week was the beginning of my next stage in the photo class. i had signed up for it way before Christmas, and last weekend asked Brendan to drive out there so i had an idea where in the heck this place was.

(we had been there once before, for an organizational class. the only thing i got out of it was a different way to fold socks. man, that was boring.)

Wednesday, i drove out to Yorba Linda right after work. Yorba Linda, where a lot of our summer/fall fire was, is about 35 minutes from our casa...but of course, driving at prime drive time can boot the time up. luckily, traffic was light, so i made it out there in good time.

the fun part is, the school where this class is, is in the middle of reconstruction to become a junior high. the REALLY fun part, is that this is up in the hills. coyotes are there. not much lights. not even the campus is well lit.

i was trying to not freak myself out...imagining i was hearing the theme from Friday the 13th or Psycho. thankfully, no murderous rampages happened that night.

however...

once i got in class, i managed to drop my brand new $300 glasses onto the floor. and watched in horror as the lens popped out on one side.

oh dadgum it.

i spent the rest of the night trying to get the bloody thing back in.

then...

the instructor wasn't there that night...which i knew. he's on a cruise until next week.
lucky him.
so, while i was fighting my glasses, the sub handed out the class outline.

funny - it looks exactly like the one for the class i just took.

oh.crap.

i signed up for the beginner class. again.

i have no problem, really, taking the beginner class again...but i'll be a monkey's uncle if i'm a-gonna take it out in Yorba-freaking-Linda.

then she mentions the intermediate class (which i wanted) is full with a waiting list.

oh.double.crap.

knowing what i do know about Dave, the teacher, is - i should be able to crash the class. man, i hope so, i don't want to have $70 go down the tubes.

although it might teach me to pay more attention to what i'm signing up for.

naaaaah. once a goof, always a goof.


in other news...
the Husband had a phone interview with a company in Mission Viejo Tuesday...a town about 20 minutes from us. now they want to meet him this week for another interview.

prayers, please that this works and he can become once again a productive member of society.

good grief.

Tuesday night, i called my mom just to see how they were doing.

normally, i go over every Wednesday, but this time i had booked time with a girlfriend so the Husband (aka Computer Geek) could work on her computer.

"well," she said about half way thorough our conversation, "since you accuse me of never telling you anything, i have something to tell you."

my mind ran through a variety of very important information that i would likely need to know...and probably wouldn't have been told:
* the house burned down.
* my stepfather was in the hospital.
* the huge tree in the backyard fell over and smashed the house.
* all the cats were dead.
* my mom was in the hospital, the cats were all dead because the tree fell, smashed them and in the meantime the house burned down and my stepfather burned his bum trying to put the fire out.

ain't i a freaking ray of sunshine?

nope. none of the above. my mom (who, unfortunately, i get all my grace and balance from) slipped off the back porch steps (only two, and maybe about 16" off the ground), fell face forward into the stucco enclosed gas meter and sprained the hell out of her ankle.

(and it did occur to me that likely the only reason she told me this had happened WAS because i was due to be over the next day. that kind of messed up, you can't hide.)

she is messed up.

to quote the doctor, a severely sprained ankle. a messed up back. a messed up knee.(she doesn't have good ones to begin with. hey - great idea: let's make a bad thing even better!!) a HUGE fat lip and a triangle shaped bruise that starts at her bottom lip and tapers down just past her chin.

and with all this, what is she the most worried about?
not making her quilting club's Christmas party in a few weeks.

daaaang. i want that kind of concern in my life. it rocks to be retired.
it just doesn't rock to be a turtle at the bottom of the stairs.


in other news...

one of the girls i've worked with, and who is in our birthday dinner club, had mentioned a few months ago that she was interested in me taking pictures of her 18 mth. old great niece for their Christmas cards.

tonight was that night.

i got over there about 6pm, just like she asked me to. Miss Sarah, who is a TOTAL hambone whenever the dang camera comes out was totally ready for her close up, Mr. DeMille.

this kid, like my niece, knows how to work that camera. without being told, the girl can totally turn it on and gives you, the photographer what you dream of capturing.

tonight though - not so much. and auntie & mommy both said to me, well, this is the time when she gets cranky.

ohfortheloveofgawdandallthatisholy. tell me why you would want to try and take pictures of a kid deliberately during her cranky time?

sheesh. it's like poking a stick at a chick on her period. you just don't do it, man.

luckily, i still got some good and some killer shots. and finally when i said, enough is enough - for both our sanity's, i felt pretty good about it. especially after i got home and started cropping and tweaking.

not that kind of tweaking. sheesh.

but, the only opinion that counts is auntie's. and she is a hard one to please.
not only that, but if she feels slighted or pissed off or even unhappy, she will tell everyone. then be kind enough to smile to your face.

love those kind of people, don't you?

photos and medical updates to come. happy Friday, peeps!

bleah.

i'm not in a good place now.

i don't usually go here...this dark dim place where the sun doesn't always get through. but lately, well..

so for every negative, i try to come up with a positive.

lots of crap at work.
well, at least you have a job. the unemployment rate is up, and sits in your living room.

the economic situation in the world blows.
yeah. it does. but again, you're not missing meals...although you could stand to lose a few. you're making your bills.

even on the radio last week, our local country station was hosting a radio-thon, raising money for the local rescue mission. a woman called in, donating $200. she had lost her entire home in the Sylmar fires. but, she said, she knew there were people out there far worse off than she was.

i hung my head in shame, feeling sorry for myself because we are down one income. because it's hard to be strong when you know the most important person in your life cannot convince one single employer to take a chance on him.

it's tough to be the strong one, when all i want to do is cry.

come on over. it's the pity party of the year.

the good, the bad and the ball.

what a week.

it's been up...down...at one point i was ready to check myself into the hospital...either a mental

one or a medical one. i'd take it all - as long as there's drugs.

so you know - earlier this year the Husband lost his job AND his car...although not at the same time. about a month into his unemployment hell, he got backed into in a parking lot, and the insurance company decided to total the truck out.

we've been borrowing a car from Kristie ever since.

last weekend we went on an insane car shopping death march. Mr. Particular knew what he wanted: light exterior. dark interior. leather. sunroof. 2005-2006.

oh and he didn't want to pay over $16,000. heck - that's like trying to find a virgin in Hollywood.

however...miracles do happen.

we are now the proud owners of this:

that would be a 2005 Solara, silver, leather interior with a moon roof. at the right price even. whodathunkit.

so Wednsday we picked it up - tomorrow we drive to the credit union to get the check to pay off the dealer.

then came Thursday.

you know how you get that karma? the bad vibe feeling. the no-good-horrible-very-bad-day feeling?

oh yeah. i had that.

first - i planned a birthday potluck for someone in my group for today; then i remembered we had another birthday this month and prepared to combine the two, when the boss said to make it for a day later this month. when i looked at him quizzically, he only said 'trust me - you don't want to have it tomorrow.'

good gravy, i thought. the layoff is Friday.

begin popping Maalox.

then about an hour later, the boss asks me when i take lunch. 12:30 i say. can you go earlier? he asks? just make sure you're back before 1pm.

holy freaking CRAP. the layoff is TODAY.

begin popping Pepto Bismol tabs and run to the...well - you know.

we go to lunch - and as we start to head back up, one of my lunch buddies, who also used to be my boss, says, 'oh, ladies, why don't you come with me.'

and we start walking over to a downstairs conference room.

i have no idea how i got there. my friend said i kept going red, then deathly white (which is a normal look for me), back to red. she just looked like she was going to cry.

we sat there for about 15 minutes or more before a few more people came in. i seriously forgot to breathe once.

then more people came in, and it finally got through to my hysterically panicked brain that i'm gonna be OK. i may die, but not today.

we lost nine people yesterday. thankfully, none of my close friends, but still.

so today, i had that feeling you must get when you survive something horrible. exhausted, yet exhilarated. bulletproof. giddy. then we had a meeting to discuss what's going to happen next week - we're all moving around. again. then we'll have one of our yearly re-orgs, where we divvy up everyone to make it more even coverage for the supervisors.

i'm leaving my current boss and going to a new group...with a supervisor i've had before. which is OK in some ways; i was starting to like him more, he was relaxing and not being so much of a schmuck. but on the other hand, my soon-to-be boss is laid back. VERY laid back. to the point where i want to shake him to possibly get a reaction.

but if i've learned nothing in my 20+ years at this place, it's this: nothing is forever. change is inevitable. keep packing boxes under your desk.

so there's the good and the bad. but what about the ball?

well, in Brendan's family when they were kids growing up, when one of them had a birthday, the other two each would get a ball - just to keep the peace.

so - it turns out that since Brendan got himself a car, he thought he would get me a ball.

here it is:

that would be a Canon Rebel XSi digital SLR.

oh good googly moogley.

the Husband said it's time for me to expand my horizons. he think i AM smart enough to figure out f-stops and exposures and all that crap. i differ with him on that one.

but we did bond on Tuesday (the camera and i, not the Husband. i bonded with him a long time ago) - i found a way to set the camera so i could basically erase things like fences, so when i took some pictures of horses at the racetrack by my work, even with a chain link fence standing between me and horse, i could make it go away.

of course, there is other gain for B besides the car - he now gets my old camera. and, after we get his old (my first) Canon fixed, it's going to my mom.

always like to see the good work go on.

today starts the OC Fair. did i go?

hell no. i'm SO chicken. i don't think i can walk in that exhibit by myself, so tomorrow, on the way home from the car payoff, we'll go and do a run-through.

likely i'll break his hand from squeezing it.

so what have we learned from all this?

that life is a roller coaster. hang on - it's one hell of a ride.

it's that dang internal dialog that keeps popping out.

at the baby shower on Saturday, one of the games played was 'how much do you know about Ashley?' the usual questions: is she wearing earrings? what's her favorite movie? has she picked a name for the baby?

(no. Wizard of Oz. yes, Dakota)

one of the questions was: is she wearing pants?

nope. she's wearing a sundress. then the smart-ass with the camera says, 'and that's what got her into this mess!'

dang it. i need a handler for myself.

worst.daughter.EVER.

i'm the worst kid ever.

ev.er.

why? my mom had knee surgery yesterday and i thought it was today.

i went over yesterday for my usual visit, and there she is, snoozing in her recliner, with a towel wrapped around her neck (just in case she, um...kinda pukes).

my first response (that thankfully didn't become verbal) was sheesh, what's wrong now?

thankfully i kept my mouth shut.

worst daughter ever.

the doctor told my step-pop that he feels the surgery went well and that my mom may not need knee replacement later.

fingers crossed on that one. she's had knee problems ever since she fell at Sears, where she worked for years.

so we'll see how this goes. she, like her daughter could stand to lose a lot of weight. and add to that, she has diabetes, so her blood sugar was sky high and wonky yesterday. but, there was trauma to the body, so naturally the sugar takes off.

man. i feel like crap.





in other news...

Brendan has a second interview with a place in San Diego. he's also finally got together with the manager of the printhouse that's about five minutes from our place. he was offered about 15, ooo less than what he made @ the last job, but after six months he's willing to boost him up to just about his last paygrade.

it's gonna be a hard job. Brendan will be running the entire shop, while the manager/owner is out selling. prayers, please that he makes the right decision.

that's it for me, and i....am.....outta here!!

try not to read anything into it.

so this a.m. after we weighed in (oh by the way, 1.2 for me, 1.4 for him. he's lost about 12lbs and i've only lost a little over 5lbs. boys. go fig.), we were talking about tv/movie/music stars we thought were cool.

we had a good list going. Jimmy Stewart. George Clooney. Husband even said Matthew McConaughey. and as we talked about it, i realized something.

my list was all guys.

Alton Brown, Tom Hanks, Garth Brooks.

hmmmm.

so. what does that mean?

well, growing up, i always hung out with the adults. my best friends were generally guys. (and yes, that did get me in a lot of trouble in high school with some chicks)

and yes, i still want to meet them.

eavesdropping and funerals.

heading upstairs to work this a.m., my fellow elevator riders included a woman my age, who freaking does NOT look 45. nor does her body look as if she's had three kids.

bee-yatch.

with her, is the trainer from the account management department. we join the conversation, already in progress.

"so she found someone in Arizona. i have no idea what came in her head."
"um-huum."
"anyways, it's ridiculous. *snort* i don't know what gets in her head sometimes."

i'm thinking her youngest teenager pulled some crap. how wrong i was.
she turned to me, and actually rolled her eyes.

"my mom is getting a boob job. *snort again*"

thankfully the elevator doors opened and we all exited.

apparently, boob jobs are only for those 21-40. after that, well, you're just ridiculous.
*snort*

kudos to this chick's mom. i'll bet cash she'll be the belle of the AARP ball.

on to the funeral.

today, my friend's mom was laid to rest. a simple service, occasionally punctuated by a funny story (unfortunately, most at her mom's expense), and the Snotty Remark by a Fellow Employee.

apparently, whenever my friend buries a parent, someone at my company needs to make a snot-ass remark.
i think it's in the rulebook.

anyway.

years ago, when her father passed, at the service, the pastor asked if anyone had a story about her dad that they wanted to share.

story time lasted almost 20 minutes. it was heartwarming. one of the most cheerful funerals i've ever been to. people that had grown up in the neighborhood and maybe were starting down a wrong road. but because of this man, they were given a foundation they might not have had otherwise.

we left the service and got in the car. one of the girls who came with us to the service, known for her inappropriate & thoughtless comments said, "gah! i thought that would never end."

we were shocked silent for a minute. present company included.
it only took a minute.

i remember all of us shot her down. quickly. it was sweet, touching, it made me feel like i wish i had known him, etc.

as such, i vowed that for this service, poo-for-brains would not be invited.

unfortunately, one got in.

another girl one who knows and has done it all.

"man. he was preachy." she said.

you will be proud, Gentle Reader. i kept my mouth shut. it was tough, but in the spirit of the day, i managed.

here's another campaign promise. i will make it a federal law that any thoughtless or inappropriate comments made at a funerals, wakes, viewings and/or memorials will result in extended searches by the TSA on any and all flights, bus trips, cruises and even trips to the store.

that'll learn 'em, dern 'em.

today's service brought another fact to surface that i hadn't really thought of before. while i know my mom will go someday, i kind of forgot that i'm an only child. and, barring any unforeseen circumstances, my mother will likely outlive my stepfather.
so it'll be up to me to plan everything. and suddenly i felt very small and WAY too grown up.

i didn't like it.

but like everything else, i'll get the strength i need for that horrible day exactly when i need it.

so - to not end on a bummer of a note of a post, here's a good giggle for you.

boobies.

hey. it works on pre-pubescent kids.

too much drama.

mama no like.
bad medicine.

here's your sign.

ever seen Bill Engvall? Blue Collar Comedy Tour?

funny guy. he does a shtick about people being so dumb, that they should wear signs.
here's an example:

i had a guy in my home, giving me an estimate on remodeling. he goes in my den, and on the wall is a mounted deer head. guy says, "didja shoot that?" i said, "nope. dang thing just ran through my wall."
here's your sign.

well - i had my own here's your sign moment today.

while on my search for more party supplies, i decided to run over to Home Depot and see if they had any firewood.

makes sense, right?

so after searching the garden center, and finding nothing, i find Amber. she's cute. she's short. she's probably in her early 20s and was a cheerleader. (no angry emails. i have nothing against cheerleaders. she was just really, really perky.)
i ask her where they would have firewood. she responds it would be at the end of aisle 12, with the charcoal.

but, she says, we probably don't have any, because it's seasonal.

wait...what?

excuse me? i say.

it's seasonal, she says. y'know, a summer thing.

hmmmm.
let's see...
1) it's July
2) it's summer, therefore
3) it's seasonal.

all i could choke out was "well, it's a good thing it's summer then; it's seasonal."

she didn't say anything.
probably thinking dumb broad, doesn't she realize we're preparing for fall? sheesh. and she thinks she's sooooo cool because she got her nose pierced. i hate when old people try to be cool.

me too, honey. but i hate it when people are dumber than they need to be.

by the way - i got my firewood. at the grocery store.
they knew what seasonal means.

thanks be they didn't name me Grace.

grace? nope.
coordination? nope.
gliding across the dance floor with anyone from 'dancing with the stars'? nope.
two left feet...on other people's feet? oh, you betcha.

i never was a coordinated kid. in a desperate attempt to make me so (and probably to make me less of a tomboy), i was enrolled in ballet. and tap.
in tap, i spent a lot of time on my bum. mostly because i couldn't do the time step well enough. i'd kick out, way out, and lose my balance and splat! on my bum.

ballet i did well at. mostly because i had the barre to hold on to. i'm sure if i had done pointe, well...you get the idea.

i spent a lot of time as a kid, skidding on my knees, laying the bike down or falling off of something. i'm sure my mom prayed every night for the Lord to allow me to survive my own childhood. i still have scars on my knees from a particularly bad tumble in the 6th grade.

in high school, i horribly sprained my ankle one day by landing in a gopher hole.
count on me to find the only hole in an acre radius.

as an adult, i was chaperoning some teenagers for a Rainbow girl function. we came in to a seminar late, so i had them sit down quick. the minute everyone started applauding for the speaker, i herded them quickly to our assigned seats and followed behind.

i stepped off a six foot scaffolding. to a cement floor below.

you know that moment when you do something really stupid? the moment when you've passed the point of no return and you have to surrender to the inevitable? oh yeah. i had that moment. as i heard the entire arena gasp as i fell.

niiiiice.

the good thing, is that i didn't break anything. i did sacrifice a pair of pantyhose and had to wear an air cast on my ankle to support it.

am i done? oh hell no.

a few years ago, going out for a walk, i stepped off the curb. and you guessed it...twisted the same ankle i always seem to injure. then, i fell down the stairs at work.

i so should be in a padded room. for my own safety.
but i'd probably catch my foot in the padding, fall, and sprain something else.

so occasionally, i think to myself, that it's a good thing we don't have kids. there's a really good chance they'd be klutzy. like their mother. and spend a lot of time injured, bruised or bleeding.

so what's the point of this story?
none. i like stories. i just wish sometimes i was graceful. along with rich, thin and with perfect makeup and air.

ah fantasy. where would i be without you?

do you think animals have bad dreams?

Elvis just woke up from a..well..cat nap. with a loud squawk.
he then walked over to where Brendan is snoozing on the couch , put his paws on the couch and squawked at Brendan. over and over.

i tried to get him to come up to me. he just looked at me, turned back to Brendan as if to say, "piss off, lady. i want my daddy."

great. now i'm being dissed by the freaking cat.

jump back. you are in the presence of greatness.

ok, not really. but it sounds good.

i got home from another hellacious day at work. (note: the Boss is away on paternity leave for three weeks. i'm in charge. i've already had trouble with some in my group. this is not fun)
surprisingly, i didn't crack open the margarita mix OR the Ben & Jerry's.

aren't you proud? you should be.

the fun thing going on, is that they are slurrying the parking area here at Casa de O'Mahony. they think it'll take all week, so we're parking on the street, along with the complex next door AND the houses around our place.

doesn't this sound like fun?!

so today, i decided to cook up some spaghetti sauce and cook some snausages in our Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Grill.
(yes. we have one. the husband found one slightly used @ a car parts swap meet he loves to frequent. he and i are such suckers for the stuff on infomercials. we don't buy. we're just suckers for the informercials. and yes, it works pretty well)

the snausages are now basking in the warm loving glow of spaghetti sauce.

here's my issue: when Husband and i were courting, i, being a firm believer that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, blah, blah, blah. so, again, using the Nancy Drew Cookbook (as i have for a gazillion years), i would make him spaghetti & meatballs or snausages, with home-made/from scratch sauce.

what.was.i.thinking. i have created a monster. he will no longer eat any other sauce than mine. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. really. it's just a pain sometimes when i feel pressed for time and he sounds sooo pathetic when i say i may get a jar from the store.

and i am such a pushover.

but - back to the presence of greatness.
i'm just feeling pretty dang efficient, so that when himself comes home, all i have to do is put the pasta on. and that only takes about 12 minutes.

(edited: the Husband just called. i had called him earlier and asked which he would prefer with his spaghetti: snausage or meatballs. i assumed he'd pick snausage. he just called to say he wants meatballs. too bad, i say {so sympathetic}. you're getting snausages. "yeah, but if you cook meatballs, then i can have both." he says. and like a fool, i'm cooking both. i guess since he threw me a party i can make the meatballs. but now we're even.)

que bueno.

you may kiss my ring.

in other news....

Linda has stole...er, borrowed, 8 random things. so i'm gonna think of 8 more here.

1. while i LOVE George Clooney and think he's one of the coolest beings on the planet, i have not seen any of the "Ocean's" movies. and they look totally cool and fun.
2. in elementary school, one of my friends, who was a guy, and i looked like we were brother & sister. we told people our parents had been married, divorced and remarried, with our mom taking me, and our dad taking him.
3. i love peanut butter & banana sammiches
4. i was in Who's Who of American High School Students two years in a row
5. i love Disneyland, but never did like Disney cartoon shorts.
6. once won blue ribbons at some piano recitals. but that was a long time ago.
7. never learned to roller skate. and unless they come up with a big ass skate for my big ass, it ain't a gonna happen, neither.
8. i always wanted to be a monster @ Knott's Berry Farm Halloween Haunt. closest i ever came to it was being an archaeologist in a mummy maze for the kids' haunt. we gave away Snoopy watches and my niece & nephews all got a LOT of watches for Christmas.

ta. happy Monday.

what th'? - reduex

for starters, i figured out that the graph fwrom (fwrom? what, i'm now channeling Elmer Fudd?) the post about my accent was messing up the blog.


hence why i had nothing on the sidebar. whatever.


but i know you've been on pins and needles about the shower today.


it. was. good.

of course, we had some good giggles...and not all at someone's expense. for starters, the one girl in our group who told everyone else but me that she couldn't afford to go in on the gift card brought in some food for us.

she came in quite chipper and chirps: "i brought WATERMELON!!"
how lovely!
how wonderful!
how whole it is!

wait.

yep. she brought in a whole, uncut watermelon. she then proceeded to put it down and skipped away.

not exaggerating. she skipped.

hole-ley crap.
and it's only 7:15 a.m.

so of course, it was up to us to carve that bad boy up. luckily i brought a large sharp knife.

oh, but there's more!

one of the guys in our group emailed me that he had no idea what to bring to the potluck. so i emailed back a list of foods: muffins, fruit tray (cut would be good), cookies, cheese & crackers...

oh! he says - cheese & crackers - that sounds good, i'll bring that.

good. i think. my work for food is done. or so i thought.

so today as we're setting up the food, this fellah says "i'm gonna set up my cheese & crackers now."

sounds good.

ten minutes later, he emerges from his cubicle proud as punch.

he's decorated Wheat Thins with cheese-in-a-can. not leaving it out for the individual to squeegee their own cheese out. nope. not him. he's gonna do it himself.

what made me laugh was watching the cheese change color as the air hit it. eventually the cheese was the same color as the crackers.

niiiiice.

the other good laugh was, this morning, as i retreived the cake from it's hiding place, i was stalked..er, followed by a nice (but odd) young lady who was making comments on the cake: how cute it was, what kind was it, oh that's my favorite kind, etc.

so you are setting it out now? she asks.

well duh.

yeah, it's cute and it can be part of the decorations, so i think it's a good idea, i say.

well, i'll just come down with you and get a piece for this morning, she says.

wait.....what? it's 7:30. you want cake @ 7:30 a.m.? and you want me to cut the cake before our guest of honor has even seen it? what th'...

oh no, i reply, we're not serving cake until 2:30 when he opens the gifts. i'm sorry if you misunderstood me.

see? wasn't that better?!

oh, and everyone left the clean up for me. but i'm not bitter.

my boss was speechless. surprised. touched.
and we're doing it again in three weeks for another chick in our group who's preggers.

stay tuned. there'll be more stories to tell, i'm sure.

no wonder my arse is the size of Tex-ass.

get it?

so here's the dealio. i'm allegedly on Weight Watchers, remember? well...apparently i've forgotten all about it.

at work, i coordinate lunches for another group. don't even get me started on why i do this, i ask myself this every time i do it. today, we ordered from a local restaurant.

i wasn't going to originally. didn't feel like spending $8.00 or so for a lunch, and 'sides nothing was grabbing my tummy's attention.

except for one thing. (and if you don't like seafood, you might want to turn away)
Shrimp & Crab Melt
an open face, grilled Parmesan sourdough served with a generous portion of crab meat blended with shrimp with crispy bacon, tomato, avocado and melted jack & cheddar cheese.

oh.my.

except they forgot the avocado. no big. really.

it wasn't something i would order to go again, but if i EVER go there for a sit down lunch/dinner, duuuuuuuude. i am SO there.

cheese and bacon. man.

it's no wonder i need Weight Watchers.

wring me out and put me out to dry.

quick survey: by a show of hands, how many of you think i am the biggest sap that ever walked this earth?

oh wait. it's the internet. i can't see your hands.

well, let me tell you - i am.

right now, i'm watching the Travel Channel's special on Sea World Orlando.

holy crap. i'm in a puddle here on the sofa.

i don't know what it is about Sea World, but i cry at these specials every dang time.

do i cry when i actually go to Sea World? oh youbetcha.

Sea World in Florida has a attraction called Discovery Cove - there, you can swim with the dolphins.

duuuuude. that would SO rock.

i told Brendan the next time we go to Orlando, we need to do some of the other parks out there, besides Disney.
but i'm such a sucker for Disney, that i know it would be difficult at best.

holy crap, though. swimming with dolphins.
i'm all weepy just thinking about it.

a dignified response.

So in the shower this a.m., the Niece came in to the bathroom, "because i'm cold."

"want to get in the shower with me?" i ask. i mean, at this point, i'm hoping she won't be scarred for life by seeing me nekkid.

sure, she responded (did i mention she was also nekkid?).

so along we went, me finishing scrubbing up and what not, when she pointed at my, um...
neatheregions and asked:

"is that your weenie?" (everyone, whether a girl or boy, has a weenie)

yep, i respond. matter-of-fact, i figure. short quick answers are best.

she then flips at the, um....hair down there.

"it sure is furry."

just check your dignity at the door, Gentle Reader. check it at the door.