Jul 9, 2007

here's your sign.

ever seen Bill Engvall? Blue Collar Comedy Tour?

funny guy. he does a shtick about people being so dumb, that they should wear signs.
here's an example:

i had a guy in my home, giving me an estimate on remodeling. he goes in my den, and on the wall is a mounted deer head. guy says, "didja shoot that?" i said, "nope. dang thing just ran through my wall."
here's your sign.

well - i had my own here's your sign moment today.

while on my search for more party supplies, i decided to run over to Home Depot and see if they had any firewood.

makes sense, right?

so after searching the garden center, and finding nothing, i find Amber. she's cute. she's short. she's probably in her early 20s and was a cheerleader. (no angry emails. i have nothing against cheerleaders. she was just really, really perky.)
i ask her where they would have firewood. she responds it would be at the end of aisle 12, with the charcoal.

but, she says, we probably don't have any, because it's seasonal.

wait...what?

excuse me? i say.

it's seasonal, she says. y'know, a summer thing.

hmmmm.
let's see...
1) it's July
2) it's summer, therefore
3) it's seasonal.

all i could choke out was "well, it's a good thing it's summer then; it's seasonal."

she didn't say anything.
probably thinking dumb broad, doesn't she realize we're preparing for fall? sheesh. and she thinks she's sooooo cool because she got her nose pierced. i hate when old people try to be cool.

me too, honey. but i hate it when people are dumber than they need to be.

by the way - i got my firewood. at the grocery store.
they knew what seasonal means.

4 comments:

elle said...

Ha. Amazing.
Amber may be dumber than a stick.... of firewood.
And the irony of her name being Amber.......oh wait I think I mean ember...come to think of it I might need my own sign today!

skrpndiva said...

I always laugh at those Home Depot commercials, the ones where they tell you to find the helper in the orange apron. Come on, have they never been to a Home Depot? No one that works there knows what the hell is going on!

doodlebugmom said...

Ask Allison were her granpa gets firewood. And remember, we have 240 acres, half is woods.

Melissa said...

Ha ha! Isn't it funny you can ALWAYS spot a cheerleader, even without the pom poms?