Oct 19, 2007

eavesdropping and funerals.

heading upstairs to work this a.m., my fellow elevator riders included a woman my age, who freaking does NOT look 45. nor does her body look as if she's had three kids.

bee-yatch.

with her, is the trainer from the account management department. we join the conversation, already in progress.

"so she found someone in Arizona. i have no idea what came in her head."
"um-huum."
"anyways, it's ridiculous. *snort* i don't know what gets in her head sometimes."

i'm thinking her youngest teenager pulled some crap. how wrong i was.
she turned to me, and actually rolled her eyes.

"my mom is getting a boob job. *snort again*"

thankfully the elevator doors opened and we all exited.

apparently, boob jobs are only for those 21-40. after that, well, you're just ridiculous.
*snort*

kudos to this chick's mom. i'll bet cash she'll be the belle of the AARP ball.

on to the funeral.

today, my friend's mom was laid to rest. a simple service, occasionally punctuated by a funny story (unfortunately, most at her mom's expense), and the Snotty Remark by a Fellow Employee.

apparently, whenever my friend buries a parent, someone at my company needs to make a snot-ass remark.
i think it's in the rulebook.

anyway.

years ago, when her father passed, at the service, the pastor asked if anyone had a story about her dad that they wanted to share.

story time lasted almost 20 minutes. it was heartwarming. one of the most cheerful funerals i've ever been to. people that had grown up in the neighborhood and maybe were starting down a wrong road. but because of this man, they were given a foundation they might not have had otherwise.

we left the service and got in the car. one of the girls who came with us to the service, known for her inappropriate & thoughtless comments said, "gah! i thought that would never end."

we were shocked silent for a minute. present company included.
it only took a minute.

i remember all of us shot her down. quickly. it was sweet, touching, it made me feel like i wish i had known him, etc.

as such, i vowed that for this service, poo-for-brains would not be invited.

unfortunately, one got in.

another girl one who knows and has done it all.

"man. he was preachy." she said.

you will be proud, Gentle Reader. i kept my mouth shut. it was tough, but in the spirit of the day, i managed.

here's another campaign promise. i will make it a federal law that any thoughtless or inappropriate comments made at a funerals, wakes, viewings and/or memorials will result in extended searches by the TSA on any and all flights, bus trips, cruises and even trips to the store.

that'll learn 'em, dern 'em.

today's service brought another fact to surface that i hadn't really thought of before. while i know my mom will go someday, i kind of forgot that i'm an only child. and, barring any unforeseen circumstances, my mother will likely outlive my stepfather.
so it'll be up to me to plan everything. and suddenly i felt very small and WAY too grown up.

i didn't like it.

but like everything else, i'll get the strength i need for that horrible day exactly when i need it.

so - to not end on a bummer of a note of a post, here's a good giggle for you.

boobies.

hey. it works on pre-pubescent kids.

7 comments:

Jeff said...

Heh Heh She said "boobies" *snort* Always makes ME smile!

doodlebugmom said...

When my mom died all that planning stuff fell on me. (i think my dad never did deal with her death, but thats a whole nother story) I am the only girl. It sucked. Thankfully the funeral director was very nice, and my aunt was just a phone call away when I forgot to take underwear...omg I never thought about taking underwear! I was worried about which dress and I stuck to my guns when it came to her being buried barefoot. I had to pick florist, flowers and a million other things. I wish I had known some of the decisions I would have to make before hand. Like writing the obit.

OK! I am not totally morbid, you know how I said the funeral director was nice? He was also the cutest boy back in high school and not bad looking 25 years later. I have twin cousins that said, "isn't it awful that we will all be dead before the cutest guy ever sees us naked"

:o)

Melissa said...

Man, with all that talk of stuff in the "chestigal" region, you should get plenty of Google hits!

So sorry for your friend - and, as an oldest child, I figure I'll be in charge of everything too.

Sucks to be us sometimes, doesn't it?

skrpndiva said...

YOU are such a FREAK!

Jaq

Valerie said...

define freak, missy!

Pat said...

I know one of those insensitives, and as soon as your law passes - she's toast!

Susie Q said...

Okay, so the soda just spurted through my nose...: )

I know that feeling...I worry about it all the time. There was a movie called, Best Friends with Goldie Hawn and Burt Reynolds. She used to cry and cry and when asked why, she said she was rehearsing for how awful she would feel when she lost her parents.

Sometimes I feel like that..: )

My Mom is the last parent we have left so it is even more precious.

Dang, now I need to go back and look at the part that made soda spurt from my nose!

Love ya,
Sue