Jun 8, 2007

justice served!

tee hee..snicker...guffaw...

back she goes to jail.

Paris, that is.

now, while i hafta agree to a point, that she could be caught in a power struggle between the judge and Sheriff Baca, that's where my sympathy ends.

"it's not fair!" she yelled as they dragged her away, calling for her mom. i'd be calling for my mom too, i guess, if i was heading off to jail for, let's say, putting a lion head on my cat.

but guess what, princess: life ain't fair.
everything has a price.
if you play, you pay.

and it's about time a lot of these spoiled brats, males and females, learned they have the same rules we peons do.

in other news...
i realize this isn't earth-shattering news...but i had to get a new blow drier today.
this whole week, it's been sputtering off and on.

today it sputtered off. i hadn't really started drying my hair yet. and of course, being the mature, crisis-handling adult i am, i spent the next 15 minutes yelling at the drier to "come on!! work, dammit!! come on!!!"

thankfully, it cooperated enough for me to finish, because i had this vision of me going to work with cute, wavy, greasy as all gitout hair.

that's the look i'm always going for, you know: a fat crack whore.

then i got booted out of the office this fine day by the big boss. she noticed i had been working unsanctioned overtime this week, while my boss is on paternity leave, so she gave me the afternoon off.

i've worked with her for years. she really is one of the fairest people i know.

so. with time to spare, i ran to Costco, and ordered our cake for a shower next week, bought crab legs for the Husband's dinner tonight (THAT oughta make him love me, right?!) and steaks for Father's Day next weekend. i returned something to Kohl's. went to the credit union. then, i traversed over a little further to a tattoo/piercing parlor.

you can breathe. i didn't get any ink.

you see, last night before bed, i was washing my face when a thread caught the edge of my nose sparkle. and pulled the wire about a 1/4 inch out of my nose.


i freaked a little. called Brendan. he recoiled in horror. he wouldn't touch it.

wuss. but so was i.

i began pushing it back...or i thought i was. instead i only pushed it to the side. went to the mirror and pushed it back in.

but somewhere along the way, i managed to lose the sparkly stone. now all i have is a golf tee.

now, i had no intention to drive back to the beach to get this fixed...not in the summer. that would be suicide. so i went to another place in Fullerton, near my credit union, only about 20 minutes away. and i would've gone here first, but the place in Newport came recommended as very clean and easy to work with.

the place in Fullerton was just as clean. the guy was nice, great, and replaced my lil' tee with a sparklie blue stone.

but cutting out some of the wire to replace with the new stud...kids...IT HURT. BAD. I CRIED. REAL BABY GIRL PARIS HILTON TEARS!!!

'course, it didn't help that i irritated the heck out of it last night, that it's only a two week old hole (which sounds weird to say) and that he was poking around there.

but now i have a pretty blue sparklie in my nose (why blue? because the green they had wasn't dark enough for me, miss Kristie. i know you're gonna ask.) instead of a golf tee.

it's been a good day.


doodlebugmom said...

thanks for grossing me out :o)

Melissa said...

I have to admit, trying really, really hard not to gloat when I read the news about Paris today. I mean, house arrest at my house, and house arrest at her house, are two very different things!

Man, a new hair drier and a new sparkly all in one day - you rock!

Allison said...

See any good ideas for tattoos for me? lol.

Anonymous said...

I'm all for Paris going back to jail. Although I think 45 days is a little excessive for what she's charged with ... the drunk driving thing ... don't even get me started on that, but I digress ... she should not have gotten out in 3 days!

Good for the judge!

Nose ring ... ouch!

elle said...

You know with all Costco has to offer the shopper....you would think that they would add tatoo/piercing parlor in there somewhere. Like in wayyyyyy in the back. Near the alcohol.

Wait. That could be a recipe for disaster.

Oh and I am willing to admit I DID gloat about Paris's return trip to the slammer. In fact I might have done a short little happy dance. Cuz, well I am mean like that and figure you do the crime, you deserve to spend some time wearing prison orange!

Valerie said...

y'know...i'm not sure that the whole Costo thing is such a bad idea!! i mean, if you can buy steaks, tampons, a blowdrier, get your eyes examined AND buy a coffin there, why would ink & piercing be much more of a stretch?

i like how you think!

smileymamaT said...

Thanks for the gut-busting-best laughter of my day. You are so funny I don't think you should be legal in 4 states. HA!

Susie Q said...

And you wanta know WHY I don;'t guess I am getting one of those things in my nose??? OOOUUUUCCCHH. I am sucha coward. Not as must a coward as say, Paris Hilton, but a coward nonetheless. : )

You just make me laugh...I love ya for that. And some other stuff too.


Pat said...

Luckily Paris doesn't live in Paris, or she'd probably be under the gillotine (I have no idea how to spell that) by now - eat that cake brat! (sorry, mean fit!)
...Too bad there isn't a course on blow drier CPR, I could have used that myself a while back!
...and Ouch, guffaw, and thanks! in that order!