snappy answers to stupid questions

because everyone sticks their foot in their mouth sometimes. but that doesn't mean you have to take it.

"omygorsh - have you put on weight?"
"no - but your eyes probably have swelled. that's why my arse looks bigger to you."

"is that your real hair color?"
"is that your original nose?"

(the following was said to my friend {as i stood there}, who is, like me, not a skinny girl)
"so i was asking little Chelsie" (yes, my friend is also Chelsie. my friend & i looked at each other, dumbstruck)
"um, that's not what i meant."
"so are you saying i'm big Chelsie?"
"um, no...that's not what i meant."

p.s. this is the same fella, who, after i gave a presentation to my entire department and asked if anyone had any questions, asked me what my real hair color was. my response wasn't the one about the nose, but that i would tell him, if he would tell me where he got his hair plugs.

and this guy reproduced. scary.

{overheard at the last trip to Disneyland, standing in front of a HUGE sign reading "Restrooms")
"can you tell me where the restroom is?"

"so - ya going camping?"
(asked of my friend, hitching up her trailer before going camping last weekend)

and perhaps the most stupid (and slightly off color) question of them all:

"was it good for you?"

Happy Weekends!