goody! a new place to play!

* edited - i corrected the link to Linda's MB. very sorry for any inconvenience!*

thanks again, Linda...

stop by here. it's a new message board so stop by so Linda & i won't get tired of staring at each other.

dang - three posts in one day.

watch out, SusieQ. i'm out to break your record for Most Posts in One Day.

just kidding.

i've been courting the Muse this week. y'know - the crafty one? sorry, though, not the one that should be working on the full size counted cross-stitch Monopoly board.

but that's another post.

yep, whenever i feel stressed, i not only want to eat every blessed dessert in the house, but i want to do something creative. for me, if i can't control what's going on in my worlds, then at least i can control what i'm doing.

so what am i doing? (besides posting, that is)

this.

behold. an altered clock for a girl's birthday at work. an ID badge holder. a boo-boo box.

at least i made something for me.

OK - two somethings.

but it at least it's keeping me from root beer floats.

and suddenly, i'm disgruntled all over again.

did i ever tell you about this?

i made this clock for her Christmas gift.

that was in, oh....let's see...December.

Dee-sem-berrrr.

i have not received a note, nor a call nor even a psychic thought sent my way.

now i know she doesn't like me. her husband, however, is one of my best friends. when he saw this, he went nutty. as in "oh my gosh, i can't believe this, this is so amazing - thank you."

but you know, even with all that, you'd think i could at least get a thank you. even if she didn't mean it.

so why do i even try? because he is my friend. and i want to get along with her, as well as him. but apparently no matter what i do, or how well i do it, it's not ever, ever good enough.

i will always be a threat. i will always be viewed as suspect. and it's one of those things i never understood about women. why do we view other women as after our men?

is it a matter of trust? then, why marry them? why spend the time and effort in a relationship if you don't trust them.

i.don't.get.it. and never will.

but no matter what i do, she will never like me. and that bothers me. not because i think i'm all that and everyone should love me.

but at least i'm trying. couldn't she?

my defination of cozy..

a cool, windy day, right after a rain.

clean air.

fresh feeling out there.

watching my favorite TV show - CSI.

checking out my favorite blogs.

getting ready to work on an altered clock.

a warm furbaby snuggled on my lap.

a warm furbaby who's just pooted.

nice.

now that's love, baby.

or catfood. i can't decide which.

who asked you?

(or, me)

since i can't think of anything to write (that i wanna share) i thought i'd just blah, blah, blah my way into your hearts.

or your computer.

whatever.

on the Oscars
- love Ellen. she was funny, but kept enough out of the way that the show moved fairly well.
the Oscars is my High Holy Night of TV. the Husband kvetches about it every damn year.
on our way home from errands yesterday, we stopped at Blockbuster so he could pick up some movies.
four movies.
sorry, sweetie, the show only seems that long.
funny, though...he watched as much of the show as i did.

- loved that dance troupe. when they formed an Oscar, and the stiletto from Devil Wears Prada..well, that was freaking amazing.

- Jennifer Hudson was perfect. although one of the "i am SO right all the time" chicks i work with could do nothing but complain that she kept showing her boobies.

- last night, as it does every year, just reinforces my dream to write a screenplay that actually gets picked up, made into a picture, then wins the author (me) an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

well, a girl can dream.

- also loved the little musical number Jack Black & Will Ferrell did. oh, and when Ellen had Steven Spielberg take a picture of herself & Clint Eastwood...totally silly. and i love silly.

on work
- this nutty place. 'course it didn't help that i was a little tired and a whole lot cranky this a.m. but when i had to explain three times to the same guy where to put his work (and no, he's not new), well...it doesn't bode well for the day.

- my boss is going on a trip to Minnesota this week to do a presentation to our newest sales division out there. i thought about volunteering, but with all the traveling i did last year, i thought perhaps i should let someone else go.

but now that he's going, i'm left in charge of our group. pray that i don't lose my temper and bludgeon someone. we've got some people that always think they know best and that i'm out to get them.
if only i had the time.

on life
- Husband's best friend called the other day - seems one of his adopted sons (a long story, suffice it to say that of the four boys he adopted, the older two have issues from fetal alcohol poisoning, and just never have adjusted well to normal family life here in the States{they're from the Marshall Islands}) managed to get his girlfriend pregnant.

oh irony. thee loves to stay at my house.

one of the (many) things i don't understand is this: the pregnant girl is a little "off" herself. so why her parents didn't opt to put her on the pill is beyond me. do these people really think that even though you may not understand what 12x12 is, that you don't want to have sex?

my mom
- called my mom yesterday, and immediately got an earful because i haven't called since Wednesday. wait...no, Thursday. mind you, i see her & my step-pop every week. and last i checked, the phone works both ways. **sigh**
- she and her Red Hat Society travelled down to Downtown Disney here in Anaheim today (for those unfamiliar, Downtown Disney is outside Disneyland and has movies, shops, restaurants and a House of Blues. it's a lot of fun, and is free. well, except for the movies and restaurants and whatever you buy in the shop.
so they carpooled together, and when they got to the parking lot (where it's gated), pulled in behind a truck, parked, and let the fun begin.

mind you, i mentioned to Mama that you got three hours free parking, if you go to the restaurant or movies, you got an additional two hours free.

but since they went in behind a truck, they didn't go in the proper 'entrance' gate. therefore, they had no ticket. therefore, they should pay the fee for a lost ticket: $25.

thankfully, the gate attendant had mercy on some older women dressed in red and purple.

my man
- right now, it's almost 8:30 p.m. post median. is he home? nope. still at work, proofing some work. he still thinks he's screwing up in the job, and the fact that no one has pulled him aside and said "what the hell are you doing?!" makes no never mind.

- yesterday, while at Costco, we were looking at the diamonds (OK, i was looking at the diamonds) when he came up to me and asked what i was doing (hmmm...Captain Obvious?!), when i said i was looking at the rings, he scoffed "Ha! keep looking, it ain't gonna happen."
well, while i dang well know i'm not getting a $2100 ring, there's no need to be sarcastic.
boys.

my life
- is just fine, thank you. well, as fine is it's gonna be. i need to start on our taxes, the sooner we do, the sooner the refund is in our account.
- i have a rendezvous root beer float.
- it's time for me to go to bed.
right after the root beer float.

late to bed, early to rise...

makes me grumpy as hell.

i have no idea how it happens - we both fell asleep here in the living room, i woke up around 1am, and we stumbled into bed.

i wake up at 6-freaking-a.m. with about six inches of bedspace. Husband is laying across diagonally, with my furball of love next to him.

hmmmm - no wonder i have a stiff neck this a.m.

and lately - i've had a bad attitude. a couple of you know why, and yes, it's hard. i usually don't begrudge anyone their blessings, but i do when they don't see that it is a blessing and something to not take for granted.

'nuff said.

so, i decided today, in a continuing effort to get myself out of the doldrums to list the good things i've got going on.

* i'm blessed with good friends - both in cyberland, in real life and in my own family. you are my touchstones and i don't tell you nearly enough how much you mean to me and what a blessing you are.
* i have a job, a car and a place to live. i don't have to rummage through garbage cans to get something to eat.
* even though we weren't blessed with babies of our own, i am fortunate beyond words that two of my nearest & dearest share their babies with me.
* scrapbooking. it brings two of my favorite pastimes together, photography & messing around, into one fun little package. i'll probably never get published. what i do isn't as wonderful as what i see in magazines. but it makes me happy. so to hades with the rest.
* in spite of stuff that has happened to me, i have good health. i'm not incapacitated physically or mentally. and i'm fortunate to be born when i was (even though i'm feeling oldern' a redwood), because i'm sure that with my back issues, even just 40 years ago, i would've had to just "live with it." but, because of modern medical technology, i don't have the daily pain i did.

so now it's your turn. tell me what you're grateful for. after all, it can't always be about me, right?

once again - no original ideas here - part II

sometimes, i feel like if it weren't for Linda, i wouldn't have a blog. so thanks again, sweetie...i'm taking your challenge.

here you go, kids; my five favorite beauty products that i couldn't live without (nor would i want to)

1. Olay Complete moisturizer for sensitive skin. kids, this stuff rocks. it doesn't go on heavy, moisturizes well, and doesn't irritate my skin.

2. Physicians' Formula correcting powder for red skin. if you have roseacea, or just red, ruddy skin, this is for you. it's different shades of green & white, and you just sweep the brush over the powder, and stroke it on. red goes away. and you don't look like the understudy for the Wicked Witch of the East.

3. a tie! take your pick: BeneFit Bad Gal mascara or Avon SuperFull mascara. both ROCK. both make me look awake, and do something for these deep-set eyes with short lashes.

4. Clinique Glosswear for Lips in Kissyfit. a oh-so girlie pink lipgloss that looks good on anyone.
anyone.

5. Almay Nearly Naked Touchpad Liquid makeup in Naked. it's a sponge that you press your fingers against, and put it on. it's light, doesn't cake and blends in oh-so-well with my whitern snow skin.

as long as i have these, i'm a happy, not red, still pale girl.
oh, with good eyes.

we could talk about hair products, but i don't want to bore anyone.

in other news...
we met up with my best friend and her mom, her two kids, plus three other boys ages 10-12. at a pirates dinner show not too far from our casa. totally fun, and totally perfect for knuckle-dragging boys. there were hats to be bought, swords to be unsheathed, and some pretty dang nice looking boys as pirates.

yarrrrrr.

they swung, they fought, they played Errol Flynn, swinging from one side of the ship to another.
and the Husband and i, once again, voiced our opinion that stuntmen do NOT get paid enough.
why, the 14 year old girl even told her mom that she wanted a picture taken with one of them.

oh yeah. good girl.

and, in a never-ending battle of wits between my friend & i sneaked our share for the tickets (that she would not take otherwise) in her car, then waited till she was about 40 minutes down the road before i called to tell her to look in her ashtray. (neener, neener, Kristie!!)

so now, it's on. what else is new?

i'm off. an actual Saturday night out with the Husband. a fun place that does lobster, shrimp, crab, etc like they do down in Puerto Nuevo, Mexico. yum-o. the only drawback is that we either need to drive down to San Diego (not too bad) or Newport Beach. in Newport, it's right at the pier, so to go in the summer is suicide. but it's February, and not that many of us go to the pier. when it's cold.

but i'm still wearing flip-flops. don't hate me.

happy eating. happy saturday night. just be happy.

the good, the bad, and the ugly.

in typical [Random Thoughts] style - there will be no rhyme or reason to the following. so sit back, relax and enjoy your flight. oh, and we have also now reached our cruising altitude so you may now use your approved electronic devices.

good
ain't nothing like sleeping in on a Saturday with a furball of love snuggled next to me.

bad
no Husband snuggled next to me - he went in to work for a few hours this a.m.

ugly
still feeling that he's a stumbling fool at the job. my patience is stretched thin. he's smarter than this. he knows what he's doing. i just can't get that through to him.

good
going to my best friend's kid's 10th birthday party. ten years old. consarn it, B & i were there when he was conceived. (git your mind outta the gutter. i live in California, but i'm not that liberal.) we had all gone to Laughlin for a weekend, and when Husband & i decided we were soooooooo hungry and couldn't figure out why they weren't ready for breakfast. so we did what every rational person would do.
we knocked on the adjoining door.
"be there in a minute" we hear, after a pause.

oops.

bad
very bad. a very quiet layoff happened at my work Wednesday. only two people from our office, but one is a woman i've worked with since i've started. right now, the Powers that Be are looking at the budget to find the money to create some positions that these two can take, if they're interested.

ugly
that we as a society cannot, apparently, get through a day without finding more about Anna Nicole or Britney. a dead celebrity cannot rest in peace, and a really messed up young mother seems to have trouble with her own image and finding help that she needs.

good
after work, i went on a mini shopping spree. found some super cute tops, and earned store dollars good for a future shopping trip. and i already know what i'm gonna get.
oh and i also bought four clocks at WalMart.
no, we are not so concerned with time that i need a clock every ten feet. but WalMart does carry them at a wee $4/each. these are the easiest ones to take apart to altar. nice.

bad
i still haven't won the lotto. maybe tonight...

ugly
possibly this post.

and now...a funny:
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

enjoy a Saturday, won't you?

Fantasy vs. Reality: Final Score

i have a terrific fantasy life.
unfortunately, it constantly encroaches on my so-called real life.
dagnabbit.

being an only child, growing up in a neighborhood with much older kids, i had a wonderful time playing with my dolls, Barbies, etc. i made up stories, long, elaborate princess-kidnapped-by-ogres stories. but only if no one was around, because i also did all the voices for the dolls.

one of my favorite dolls was a HUGE doll named Sarah. Sarah and i had many things in common: same short pageboy cut, blue eyes, kinda chunky. but most importantly, Sarah was real. and woe be unto anyone who tried to talk me out of it.

then one Sunday, reality smashed my fantasy right in the face.

growing up, my church had a "March to Sunday School in March" promotion. for every friend you, as a kid, bring to Sunday School, you got points or a toy or something. but, since every kid i knew already went to church, i never had much luck with bringing anyone. until i remembered Sarah.

i could bring Sarah to church! she was real. she was my friend.
unfortunately the people at church didn't see it the same way i did.

needless to say, i was highly offended.
it was then i made a vow to never, ever grow up. or, if i had to, then i would do everything in my power to remember what's reality for adults, ain't the same for kids.

• kids believe. they believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, that monsters are in the closet and vampires are under the bed (and to this day, if my arm slides off the edge of the mattress, i wake up enough to reel it back in. that way, the vampire can't grab my arm and pull me under the bed).
• they believe that toys have a party once kids (or adults) leave any room they're in.
• they believe that knock-knock jokes are hysterical.
• that stepping on a crack really can break your momma's back.
• that farting is the funniest.thing.evah.
• that a kiss will heal any boo-boo.
• that Mom & Dad can fix anything.
• and that "Where the Wild Things Are" is the the "War & Peace" of my generation.
• that Marathon candy was the best candy bar ever, that NO ONE, not the Colonel, not Mrs. Knott's, not anyone could fry chicken like my auntie.
• and nothing was better than getting a real, genuine Valerie doll for your birthday.

and i still believe.

once again, concrete evidence that i may be months away from turning 45, but i am not a grown-up. i don't ever want to grow up.

and that, Gentle Reader, is the final score. fantasy wins.

i can save your life.

well, i can if i'm in your vicinity. otherwise, it'll have to be virtual.

over the weekend, the Husband and i took a CPR class. for him, it was a re certification and for me, a virgin card carrier.

the class was small, only four of us. the man conducting the class has taught classes at the Pennysaver, so the Husband has a history with him.

it was four hours. but i have a card that says i have CPR certification, including pediatric CPR training. i was really interested in that, since we do spend a lot of time with the nieces & nephews and there is swimming involved in California & in Nevada.

the video watched was hokey. there were a few times when i had to dig my nails into my leg to keep me from snickering. it was like watching some of those old drivers training classes. and, like someone's grandma, i lectured myself to knock it off, this is serious, grow up, blah, blah, blah.

but today, as i was driving home from what could possibly be the weirdest, roller coaster ride evah, it slapped me hard. i have power to save a life.

save.a.life.

it's weird. it's a rush. it's scary as hell. i hope i never, ever have to use it.

ever.

more Hollywood buzz.

when last we left the NBC studios, the Husband was $1000 richer.

then came my turn.

one of the producers called me at work.
you applied for a possible shot on To Tell the Truth? she says.

oh yeah. i said.

well, we've got one i wonder if you're interested in, she says.
it's a woman who's a world-champion hog caller.

seriously?! there is such a thing? (remember - i am the Queen of the City Gals. i know not of these things. my connections with hogs is Green Acres and the boys i work with)

sure, i say. i'm up to a challenge.

well, this girl's from the south. can you talk in an southern accent?

oh, darlin' - i spent too many years living with my great auntie. she was from Missouri. i had an accent until i finally left her house. to this day, i can fall into it quite easily. y'all.

shouldn't be a problem, i say.

i get a date. already, i'm planning what to wear and what to do.
(actually, the producer has already asked that i wear overalls. luckily, i have some)

now when i arrive there, i try to do as the Husband did with his two: talk to my fellow contestants and formulate a strategy. the real hog caller, is a little too into herself. she mentions where she's from in Texas, and i realize my company makes their phone book. when i tell her, she's less than thrilled.

my other contestant, delivers pizzas for a living. oh, i say, and are you in college too?
she looks puzzled as she answers no.

i sigh. it's gonna be a long taping.

we get hooked up with the wireless microphones (like what our local newscasters wear). my problem is that i don't have back pockets in my overalls. i've got no place to put my battery pack, so it gets attached to my backside.

(p.s. - i have done nothing but speak in a southern accent all day. no one even asks if i'm from California)

we get onstage, and my worst fears come true. my pizza girl has frozen up, and the real world champion hog caller is, well...hogging the spotlight.

i didn't have a coffin-to-casket moment like Brendan did. i did, however, convince the audience and two of the panelists. the other two voted for the RWCHC, no votes for the pizza girl. after we get backstage the pizza girl throws herself at me, blessing my name for the money she won. RWCHC, however, is mad she didn't get more votes. if you had gotten more votes, i said, you wouldn't have gotten more money. you get more money by how many votes the liars get.
she clucked at me and walked away.

excuse me? you clucked? you're a hog caller. not a chicken choker.

like i said, my event wasn't nearly as exciting as the Husband's. and sadly, not as much fun. but it was an experience.

and while Brendan was upset that no one called him for other shows, i did. a producer for a "Blind Date" type show wanted to know if i was interested in being on their show. sure, i said. did it matter if i was married?

click.

oh well. there's always Fox's new gameshow "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

and just for the record, then answer is no.

in honor of Presidents' Day -

and what better way to honor those who have led this nation then by talking about bargains and show biz?
after all, both involve money.

first, the bargains.

after laundry this a.m., i decided to treat myself to a Starbucks mocha frappachino. sans Valencia. apparently Starbucks has discontinued the orange syrup that i love soooo much in my mocha.

pigs. don't think i'm not writing the company.

so afterwards, i decided to take a gander at Kohl's, a local department store. i got a gift card for them last year, and even though i've been in several times since my birthday in May, just hadn't found anything that made me shout, "Martha! back up the truck - i'm a-shopping!"

until today.

today i checked out the sales racks. not that i don't, but it's my experience that the stuff on their clearance racks are never in my size, my color or my taste.

until today. (insert sigh of glee here) today, i found a khaki green silk screened long sleeved tee, kinda like a thermal shirt (but not that warm). originally $24. now 8.50.

come to momma.

then...i found a dark/light lime green turtle neck shirt with a zipper at the neck. could be worn alone or with a tank. originally $36. now $13.50.

oh baby. you'll never be lonely again.

all this, and i still have about $7 left on the gift card. too bad there wasn't anything else on the clearance rack i liked.

now on to show biz.

the big joke in Mostly Smoggy Southern California, is that all waiters/waitresses/bartenders are just doing this until the get their big break.

which of course is why i've been working at the same job for 20 years. still waiting for my big break...which i think already happened back in 2000.

in January, i was as usual, wasting time on the internet - playing games online. when one of those dang flashing banners caught my eye.

this usually doesn't happen - i have no need for a lower interest rate, to date, or to get some natural male enhancement. this was different. "wanna be on TV? click here!"

so i clicked. it's an advertisement for the TV show To Tell The Truth. all i have to do is fill out the form for an audition.

ooh! an audition! think i'll work on my favorite scene from "Bell, Book & Candle" - one of my favorite plays from my drama class in high school. (in case you were wondering, i played one of the dizty aunts. **sigh**)

i filled out the form, and waited to be contacted. about three weeks later, one of the show's producers called me at work. all i needed to do was drive to NBC studios in Burbank (about 40 minutes from us) on this date to fill out some paperwork.
Brendan decided that there was no way i was going by myself, and drove me up there. he waited with me outside one of the sound stages (with about 50 other young starlets..er, contestants) and as they brought us in, he started to leave to wait in the car.

one of the producers stopped him - "hey, where're you going?" the Husband explained that he wasn't interested in applying, he was just here for his wife. "so, come on in - you'll be warmer in here, and you might as well apply, too - ya never know!"

ya never know indeed.

everyone filled out the questionnaire, got a head shot, and interviewed by two different show runners. we were thanked and told if they had something open, they would contact us.

January 2001, i'm at my desk at work when the phone rings. it's Brendan. To Tell The Truth wants him on the show!

now i gotta admit, i was disappointed. i mean, he didn't even WANT to do this, and now he's gonna be on the show? What th'? i couldn't stay disappointed for long, though...he was so excited. he was gonna be on TV.

as a casket designer.

perfect. he can act like a mortician.

the man he was pretending to be was a designer of shrink wrapped caskets. you could have NASCAR, your favorite sports team, whatever you wanted shrink wrapped on your casket.

my favorite was the one that looked like a package from UPS that had "Return to Sender" on it.

the producers asked him to bring a dark suit & tie. taping was on a Saturday at NBC, be prepared to possibly be there all day.

we arrive & met his fellow game players. the real casket designer (who strangely didn't have much of a sense of humor) and the other liar...a San Francisco police officer (who we still keep in contact with). the three of them actually formatted strategy.

my parents also came and hung out with me backstage in the green room, where we could see the whole thing being taped (if we sat in the studio audience, we really would be there till the last show was taped. and that could be at 6pm).

Brendan told me later that, once he moved his hands on the desk where they sat on-stage, there were little puddles of sweat. nice. the good thing was, on TV he looked cool as the proverbial cucumber.

the panel went through their questions, asking each one different things about the casket, which conveniently they had one on the set. Fred Willard was one of the panelists and he asked the Husband something about it - but he called it a coffin.

Brendan corrected him, "it's a casket," he said. Fred started to get a little sarcastic in his apology, when Brendan explained that a coffin was called a "toe pincher," because of it's narrow shape - think Dracula movies.

backstage, little Miss Hollywood completely lost it. at that moment, i realized he just won the game.

so, the panel and the audience voted. the audience voted for the police, because he had a skull & crossbones tie on. every member of the panel voted for Brendan.

why? because of the dang toe pincher. he came home $1000 dead presidents richer.

i threw him a World Premiere party the night his show aired. we still have the director's chair i bought.

poor guy thought this was the beginning of a new career for him. unfortunately, Hollywood never came calling again.

then came my 456th 15 minutes of fame. but that's another posting.

because i do enjoy reruns...

...and because i do stuff when i wanna (which gets me in SO much trouble), i decided to crash Melissa's par-tay, and do her 5 things i'll betcha didn't know about me.

which i've done before, but what the heck. i've got so many fears, foibles and freaky things that i could go on and on and on...
but then you might go on to another blog.

and after reading these, you may anyway.

1 - i have a terror of being inside a store after it's closed. seriously. i remember seeing an "ABC Movie of the Week" about someone locked in a store, and there were dogs. BIG dogs. dogs that liked the taste of blood.

2 - i do not like cooked vegetables. i'd rather eat 'em all raw.

3 - my favorite subject (besides creative writing) was art. love, love, loved it. i knew i wasn't talented that way, but i loved being creative. imagine my joy when i discovered i even had to take a class in college. i remember creating a cityscape in pencil, turning it in, and the professor leaving me a note: "hopefully you're not planning on a career in art." and that professor's name was...Simon Cowell.
just kidding.
i know it sounds harsh, but i wasn't hurt. i also know that i have no talent for drawing; i just like doing it.

4 - i'd rather smell a cup of coffee than drink it. go fig.

5 - always looking for my 15 minutes of fame, i've not only been Queen of the Circus, in Who's Who Among American High School Students, BUT i've been on "To Tell The Truth" as a contestant (so has Brendan). i was a world champion hog caller. came away with about a grand in cash, besides a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat.
just kidding about the Rice-a-Roni.

so who to tag?? i pick Allison and April AND Linda. yep - a trifecta. bring it on, girls.

had me a little date today...

with myself.
(and April, i held on to my values and slapped myself when i tried something)

decided to go to the movies this afternoon, and saw Dreamgirls. i knew i could get away with it because B, like a lot of men, have zero interest in chick flicks, much less musicals.

it was nice because i was there at noon. there were maybe 6 people in the theater.
i'm not a cheap date, however, the matinee ticket was $9, and by the time i bought lunch AND a box of Raisinettes, i was out $20.

dang. maybe i should have tried something.

however, after seeing this movie, i have come to two, no - three irrefutable conclusions:
1) the day this comes out on DVD, i am so there. heck, i may even buy two copies...one for home and one for our portable DVD player...just so i won't be without it.
2) if Jennifer Hudson doesn't win the Academy Award for best supporting actress, there's something wrong with the Academy. which i have suspected for years. i mean, come on! Martin Scorsese and Peter O'Toole can't win in their categories? give me a break.

wait. that's another post.

the third irrefutable conclusion? if you see this movie, and you are not sobbing as Jennifer sings "And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going," there could be something wrong with you. this chick is talented. powerful talented.

and when she wins, i would take that Oscar, go to Simon Cowell, and friggin' give him the biggest raspberry i had in me.
oh, and do the same for everyone out there that voted for someone else, booting her off "Idol."

mind you, i never watched Idol. but i'm telling you, i walked out of that theater wondering where i could get video of her.

ho-ley-cow. that is one talented chick. and as much as i love Taylor Hicks and Carrie Underwood, i can tell you this: ain't neither one of 'em got a Golden Globe in one hand, and the potential for the Oscar in the other.

happy weekend everyone.

stupid, mindless banter.

(which differs from any other post, how?)

i, Gentle Reader, am a lover of trivia. not to the degree of Ken Jennings, the big-time trivia king from Jeopardy, but as i am fond of saying, i am a font of useless knowledge.

(hey! new blog title!)

so - being that i seem to be in an exceptionally great mood (we had our Valentine's dinner last night, but that's another post, watched CSI, then slept till 7:30 this a.m.....heaven!) this fine morning, i give you Useless Knowledge 1.0...culled from some of my favorite reads: the Uncle John's Bathroom Readers.

• a popcorn kernel must contain at least 13.5% water to pop.
• in Switzerland, children receive holiday eggs from the Easter cuckoo.
• in 1900, the life expectancy for a man was 46.6 years. for a woman, 48.7. in 2000, it jumps to 72.7 for men and 76.1 for women.
• first sport captured on film: BOXING. (courtesy of Edison in 1894)
• literally translated, hors d'oeurve means "outside of work"
• the cities of Winnipeg and Calgary, Canada, per capita, drink the most Slurpees (a slush drink from 7-11 food stores, if you don't know) in the world. i so need to move there.
• on average, babies born in May are 7 oz heavier than those born in other months (ah-ha! finally an excuse for me!)
• there are 412 doors in the White House
• according to criminal law, only three people are necessary for a disturbance to be classified as a riot.
• if you're average, you'll spend five years of your life eating. make it count.

feelin' me some scrappin' love...

so tomorrow is the beginning of Scrapbook Expo here in the OC.

a vertiable shopping paradise. it's exactly what i'm looking for...some R&R...with a little shopping included.

not that there's anything restful about stomping through a huge shopping floor with thousands of other rabid scrapbookers.

scrapbookers who, although can design pages of their children with grace, flair and artistry will think nothing of kicking your ass if you get between them and some new 7 Gypsies paper.

there is some truth to the "Real Housewifes of the OC" - freakin' scary, they are.

i'm bummed in many respects. first, there were no classes that made me jump up & down screaming, "holy embellishments, Batman!" i did find one, and decided to apply as the teacher's helper (only cost $5, instead of the $30) and it was being taught by Katherine Brooks.

then i found out that not only is she no longer working for Deluxe Designs, therefore not teaching the class, but Deluxe Designs is apparently going out of business.

my mom will be in mourning.

so - it's off to be a teacher's pet, then see if there's anything that needs to find a new home with me.

oh, and look at a Crop-a-Dile for April.

so pray for me, tomorrow, as i gird my loins to enter the field of battle. i find myself lately more and more angry at people and the way they act..my fear is that i will end up as the latest case of road rage on one of the many So.Cal Freeways.

well, at least if it happens, y'all can say you knew me when. photos of treasures to follow tomorrow. peace out.

all you need is love.

Happy Valentine's.

OK - now that it's out of the way...

i was driving home the other night, when i passed by a local pool supply store. In the window, is the required "God Bless America" sign. And right below it...

"Now Hiring Americans Only."

Apparently, God only blesses Americans. All others better hope for the best.

i do have picture from my phone, but it hasn't been delivered to my In box. i'll post when i get it.

edited...here you go:

Toooooooooooooooooobs!

sorry. very small picture. best i could do

we met up with some of my friends from work (after the Husband worked all dang day yesterday and is going back again today) at the Coach House, a small concert venue down in south OC.

the two boys in our group - my Husband and my former supervisor's husband, are HUGE Tubes fans.

while i remember things like "She's a Beauty," and "Talk to Ya Later," these guys are looking at such nuggets as "White Punks on Dope," and "Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman."

oh yeah. good times.

our main view was our friend's band that opened for them. quite the bluesier, folk rockin' group. their lead singer is our friend, and to me she's a cross between Melissa Ethridge and any other folk/rock singer out there.

good times indeed. just very late times.

we got out of there around midnight, and all three of us were laughing at how old we are...when it used to be that (in my case, anyway) we could stay up till at least 2am, THEN get up @ 6 to go to a paper drive for Rainbow Girls. fresh as the proverbial daisy.

believe me, those days are long gone.

we were in bed by 1:30. oh goody.

but it's all in the name of rock 'n' roll.

rock on, my children. rock on.

in other news...i do want to prove one...well, two things: it DOES rain in Southern California and that we do have weather.

see? rain. my shamrock is coming back from death's door. it's pouring off the roof.

we got weather. it ain't all sunshine & roses.

now before y'all start in about the snow thing, know this: southern Californians absolutely freak when we have to drive in the rain. no one seems to remember that it rains so infrequently here, that when it does, all the oil & slippery crud comes up. and people here always forget that. and continue driving at 65+.

then act surprised when they suddenly hit a skid, spin out and wreck.

d'oh!

hey. i never said we were all bright here.

this weather makes me happy. i can't even begin to tell you how happy i am when it rains. i think it must be the latent Pacific Northwest genes in my blood. (although my mom claims i don't get it from her - she's far from giddy when it rains)

so to summarize (i know, i could've done this many, many paragraphs ago & saved you the time) - rock 'n' roll (and beer!) good.

- late nights (at my age) bad.

- mamma like rain. mamma nutty.

- southern CA's cannot drive in the rain.

happy Sunday!

warning: the following post is a little bitter.

bitter. pissy. angry. hurt. jealous. discouraged.

but mostly jealous and sad. very, very sad.

i have a group of girls i go out to dinner with during each member's birthday month. we all worked together, albeit in different departments, but at the same location, so we rarely see each other.

while i've been down with this creeping, stomping crud, they went out for the first birthday of the year. one of the girls, who's near my age, has her 20-something niece living with her.

four years ago, this girl stayed with her boyfriend, even after he said he didn't want to be with her any longer. they broke up. they got back together. his family was pressuring him to "grow up" and get married. settle down. start a family.

so they got back together and had a very nice wedding.

he started seeing someone online, and she did the same to "get back" at him.
they divorced before their first anniversary.

in the meantime, she somehow got herself fired, lost her car, and started dating.
fast forward to last week, when, at dinner, my friend notices that this girl has gained weight.

bet you can see where this is going.

i found out yesterday that the girl's aunt finally confronted her and asked her if she was pregnant.

yeah, but only five months.

five months?! that's more than half a term. no one knows if she's even been to the doctor before this. her aunt was taking her to her doctor yesterday and they were going to discuss "options," what ever that means. neither one is happy about the pregnancy.

and neither am i.

in this day and age, there's no excuse for an adult woman who decides to have sex outside of marriage, to not be on some sort of birth control. none. zip. nada. even if you're not making a lot of money, there's Planned Parenthood and local free clinics.

and once again, i don't understand how it can be that Brendan & i are denied kids, when others, completely unprepared and unwanting of a pregnancy, have one.

so i apologize for being angry, sad and bitter. it's just that no matter how much i think i'm "over" the baby thing, something comes up and slaps me in the face again. then suddenly i'm awash in fresh pain, like the first time i realized we couldn't have kids.

so again. i apologize.

there is nothing like a dame.

girls. there's nothing like us.

we're catty, kind, bee-atchy, generous, loving, hateful, creative, negative and nurturing.

oh yes. we are a contradiction. but with such contradictions, comes some really nice perks.

like cute clothes. makeup. slumber parties.

oh, and spa combo at the local nail shop.

the spa combo, is a manicure, pedicure, hopefully done together, while sitting in a whirlpool of warm, scented agua, with a massage chair kneading the beejeebers out of your back...up and down and up and down...

nice. mamma like spa combo.

of course, some do better than others. i've had some massages on my legs where i could barely tell if anyone was touching me. then there are those who are sooooo goooooood that i could fall asleep. or drool.
i've done both. thankfully, not at the same time.

i have three basic rules when it comes to spa combo time:

1. scrub the beejeebers out of my feet. to me, that's just as good as a good massage. which brings us to...
2. good massage. i like it when it starts out quite firmly..almost hard & painful, then ease up and gentle. love.it.
3. don't talk to me during massage time. please. ever. it means i have to concentrate on what you're saying, and sometimes it's all i can do to keep my head upright. especially if you're doing #2 right.

there's a shop i used to go to (i just got lazy, and started going to shops that were closer) where i would get the "hot oil spa combo." i realize it sounds like something sleazy, but trust me, it ain't.

it involves equal parts of lotion and cuticle oil combined in a bowl, put in the microwave until warm, then massaged into the legs/arms. thickly. then, a warm, wet towel is wrapped around the appendages then covered with another dry towel.

oh.my.goodness.

then they would put scrub on my legs, massage it in, rinse it off, and watch me drool as dead skin rinses away.

oooh. i'm getting all shaky thinking about it.

hmm. would it be indulgent to get another spa combo today, after i had one last night?

yes it would. and to paraphrase the L'Oreal commercial, i'm so worth it.

sometimes, it IS what you say that matters...

Good Timing

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending a company party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He doesn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the bedside table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringing when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian "

Jack stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table,eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell overthe coffee table and broke it, then puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused Jack asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean. Why do I have a rose and breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table $39.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $ .38
Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS!!!!

back to the land of the living...

(now i know you've been emailing to make sure i'm OK - here's proof)

if that's what you want to call this, living.

i am truly sick of coughing. and to add insult to injury, a friend of mine at work feels it's his mission in this life to send me slightly naughty nuggets via the email..which makes me laugh.

which makes me cough.

schmuck.

so between that, and literally working my bum off and fighting with the ad designers who somehow cannot make the connection that the ads they have, directly effect the reports i need to clear. hmmmmm. so simple. yet so hard for some to grasp. my favorite quote (that i've heard over and over and over) from the designers is "i didn't know it was a rush. it wasn't tagged."

never mind the fact that every day they get a list of hot directories that are going to the printer that day. it wasn't tagged. oh well...this hasn't changed in the many, many years i've done this job. it sure ain't gonna change now.

in other news..next month i'll be up in Reno for a week. the cousin from Ireland will be coming out then, and since i have plenty of vacation, i'll be representing the Southern California contingent of the family.

ah yes...a week of scrapbook shopping, girl bonding and chardonnay drinking.

or margaritas. i'm not picky.

and this weekend, the Husband & i will be joining some friends at the Coach House down the freeway to see The Tubes. (remember them? "She's a Beauty"?) they'll be playing there, but more fun is the fact that one of their opening acts is a band a former coworker of ours is in. we have dinner reservations (to get better seats) and when all is said and done, it'll just be nice to be out on a Saturday with the Husband.

and in case you wanted more of my social calendar...

Scrapbook Expo is coming...oh joy! oh rapture! oh paper shopping!! so if any of you local girls are going, drop me a note - perhaps we can meet for lunch.

and shopping. probably still with a pocketful of Ricola cough drops.

hope you're staying warm...and dry...and cough free.

peace and quiet and advil cold & sinus medicine.

Simon & Garfunkle had it right: there is nothing like the Sound of Silence.

the Cat is happy - he has the recliner all to himself.
i am happy - i have the couch all to myself (but i'd rather have the recliner).
the Husband is happy for he is off to a SuperBowl (wait. can i say "Super-Bowl?" or will the NFL commissioner come after me? never mind then. Super Sunday)party at his former manager's home.

i decided to stay home and prepare for work tomorrow.

somewhere along the way, i changed. dramatically. you see, up until a few years ago, i hated being alone. could.not.stand.it.

now, i'm eating it up. loving it.

so, it's just me, the cat and some decongestant.

oh, and "Monk" on TV.

now if the drugs could just kick in, i could breathe again.

and enjoy my solitude.

MIA or DOA?

whichever works.

i have been home sick for the last two days. and i thank you for the e/cards and well wishes and all that happy stuff.

i have coughed until i truly expected to see the staples from my gallbladder surgery come out.

unfortunately, this illness has NOT effected my appetite, dingdangit.

my mamma is also illing, but she's got it much worse...she's been felled by an upper respiratory infection.

this HAS effected her appetite.

so. there you have it. i can tell i'm on the road to recovery because when i woke up this a.m., my first thought was "dang. i need to shave my legs."

can health be far behind?