in honor of Presidents' Day -

and what better way to honor those who have led this nation then by talking about bargains and show biz?
after all, both involve money.

first, the bargains.

after laundry this a.m., i decided to treat myself to a Starbucks mocha frappachino. sans Valencia. apparently Starbucks has discontinued the orange syrup that i love soooo much in my mocha.

pigs. don't think i'm not writing the company.

so afterwards, i decided to take a gander at Kohl's, a local department store. i got a gift card for them last year, and even though i've been in several times since my birthday in May, just hadn't found anything that made me shout, "Martha! back up the truck - i'm a-shopping!"

until today.

today i checked out the sales racks. not that i don't, but it's my experience that the stuff on their clearance racks are never in my size, my color or my taste.

until today. (insert sigh of glee here) today, i found a khaki green silk screened long sleeved tee, kinda like a thermal shirt (but not that warm). originally $24. now 8.50.

come to momma.

then...i found a dark/light lime green turtle neck shirt with a zipper at the neck. could be worn alone or with a tank. originally $36. now $13.50.

oh baby. you'll never be lonely again.

all this, and i still have about $7 left on the gift card. too bad there wasn't anything else on the clearance rack i liked.

now on to show biz.

the big joke in Mostly Smoggy Southern California, is that all waiters/waitresses/bartenders are just doing this until the get their big break.

which of course is why i've been working at the same job for 20 years. still waiting for my big break...which i think already happened back in 2000.

in January, i was as usual, wasting time on the internet - playing games online. when one of those dang flashing banners caught my eye.

this usually doesn't happen - i have no need for a lower interest rate, to date, or to get some natural male enhancement. this was different. "wanna be on TV? click here!"

so i clicked. it's an advertisement for the TV show To Tell The Truth. all i have to do is fill out the form for an audition.

ooh! an audition! think i'll work on my favorite scene from "Bell, Book & Candle" - one of my favorite plays from my drama class in high school. (in case you were wondering, i played one of the dizty aunts. **sigh**)

i filled out the form, and waited to be contacted. about three weeks later, one of the show's producers called me at work. all i needed to do was drive to NBC studios in Burbank (about 40 minutes from us) on this date to fill out some paperwork.
Brendan decided that there was no way i was going by myself, and drove me up there. he waited with me outside one of the sound stages (with about 50 other young starlets..er, contestants) and as they brought us in, he started to leave to wait in the car.

one of the producers stopped him - "hey, where're you going?" the Husband explained that he wasn't interested in applying, he was just here for his wife. "so, come on in - you'll be warmer in here, and you might as well apply, too - ya never know!"

ya never know indeed.

everyone filled out the questionnaire, got a head shot, and interviewed by two different show runners. we were thanked and told if they had something open, they would contact us.

January 2001, i'm at my desk at work when the phone rings. it's Brendan. To Tell The Truth wants him on the show!

now i gotta admit, i was disappointed. i mean, he didn't even WANT to do this, and now he's gonna be on the show? What th'? i couldn't stay disappointed for long, though...he was so excited. he was gonna be on TV.

as a casket designer.

perfect. he can act like a mortician.

the man he was pretending to be was a designer of shrink wrapped caskets. you could have NASCAR, your favorite sports team, whatever you wanted shrink wrapped on your casket.

my favorite was the one that looked like a package from UPS that had "Return to Sender" on it.

the producers asked him to bring a dark suit & tie. taping was on a Saturday at NBC, be prepared to possibly be there all day.

we arrive & met his fellow game players. the real casket designer (who strangely didn't have much of a sense of humor) and the other liar...a San Francisco police officer (who we still keep in contact with). the three of them actually formatted strategy.

my parents also came and hung out with me backstage in the green room, where we could see the whole thing being taped (if we sat in the studio audience, we really would be there till the last show was taped. and that could be at 6pm).

Brendan told me later that, once he moved his hands on the desk where they sat on-stage, there were little puddles of sweat. nice. the good thing was, on TV he looked cool as the proverbial cucumber.

the panel went through their questions, asking each one different things about the casket, which conveniently they had one on the set. Fred Willard was one of the panelists and he asked the Husband something about it - but he called it a coffin.

Brendan corrected him, "it's a casket," he said. Fred started to get a little sarcastic in his apology, when Brendan explained that a coffin was called a "toe pincher," because of it's narrow shape - think Dracula movies.

backstage, little Miss Hollywood completely lost it. at that moment, i realized he just won the game.

so, the panel and the audience voted. the audience voted for the police, because he had a skull & crossbones tie on. every member of the panel voted for Brendan.

why? because of the dang toe pincher. he came home $1000 dead presidents richer.

i threw him a World Premiere party the night his show aired. we still have the director's chair i bought.

poor guy thought this was the beginning of a new career for him. unfortunately, Hollywood never came calling again.

then came my 456th 15 minutes of fame. but that's another posting.