TMI

Or, Confessions of an Obsessed Woman.

Went online again last night, looking for more info about the upcoming back surgery.

Like i've posted earlier, although it's been hotternhell here in So. Cal. (and the whole bloody state is about to burn up), the great thing about my vacation week is that i haven't taken any pain pills in almost four days.

Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow.

That, my friends, is sweet.

Back to the obsession.

So i found a website that showed animation of the procedure. It was so amazing...especially the part where they brought out the "chompers" (i'm sure that's the proper medical term) and removed the part of the disk that's herniated.

What i don't get, is that most of the websites i've checked out, describe the surgery as outpatient. My neurosurgeon is keeping me overnight. I'm not complaining; i just wonder why. Different strokes for different folks, i guess.

Then in the mail yesterday, i got a jury duty summons.

Jury duty.

Oy.

Before i got married, i lived in Long Beach. Every time i got called for jury duty (which was every year) i ALWAYS ended up going to downtown L.A. If you don't think driving that every day was fun...

Well, once the fine folks in Orange County found me, i've traveled from Newport to Santa Ana to Fullerton. At least Fullerton is closer to my home. But this time, i am a call in juror.

Only problem? I start 11/11. Surgery is 10/19. I don't go back to work at the earliest until 11/30.

Hmmm.

So i've called & rescheduled for January.

Dang. I better be better by then.

Peace out.

just not in the mood

for anything.

i just don't want to do anything. first off, it's been really hot here. today, at one point, it was 107. yuck.

secondly, i really thought i would be doing a lot of scrapping. not a bit. haven't even walked in the room, except to clean Elvis' box. woo-hoo.

third, i woke up this a.m. feeling like crud. sore throat. bit of a headcold. went out to breakfast with B...that didn't even help. napped a bit this afternoon. still feel tired.

but, and this is a REALLY GOOD THING, i haven't taken a vicaden in the last two days.

that is something to celebrate.

B goes to the doctor tomorrow - he'll take a look at B's finger & see how it's doing. he still complains about how his chest hurts. no pain with the finger, just the chest. thankfully he didn't crack any ribs on his death-defying stunt.

i'm bummed i've only got two more days off. i've never felt more exhausted.

i guess i need a vacation.

the best laid plans...

oft' go to hell in a handbasket.

I'm home right now. I should be in Mexico, drinking beer & eating lobster.

But nooooooooooooo.

It's Saturday night. B & i are up in Hesperia, at our friends. We have eaten steak (yum), seen fireworks & are gathering in the living room for a yak fest.

And here's where it goes to hell in a handbasket.

Someone comes running in, saying something that sounds like "your husband broke his finger."

Broken finger? Brendan? Nahhh.

Here he comes, his face the color of concrete. My friend's mom, another Valerie, is behind him. He has a towel over his hand, and i see blood.

Blood. Not good.

So, believe it or not, i MAKE him sit down. He was just standing there. So i pulled back the towel and thought, "hey, this doesn't look too bad."

Then he turned his hand over.

(here comes the gross part)

There's a laceration about 1/2 long, and deep. How deep? Deep enough so i can see his bone.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To The Hospital We Go.

I won't give a blow by blow of all 5 hours there in Emergency. Sufficed it to say he got 5 stitches, and luckily, didn't break it, only dislocated it. One or two good pulls by a cute blonde PA and he was good to go. Literally. A tetanus shot & antibiotics followed.

So needless to say, we decided against Mexico.

But how did this happen? My darling, wonderful, usually intelligent husband decided he was going to ride TWO Razor scooters at once. Hit a rock. Down you fall.

D'Oh.

If there's a lesson to learn (and there is), it's don't think you're Evel Knevel at 45. It ain't gonna happen. All you'll get is a trip to emergency.

And 5 stitches.

Just a few more hours

and i'll be right home to you.

(with many apologies to KISS & "Beth")

In roughly 9 3/4 hours, i will be on vacation.

Woo-Hoo!

No real plans. Husband is off Sunday & Monday normally. He's actually taken off Saturday so we can go to a BBQ thrown by dear friends of ours. What we may do afterwards is still up in the air..Temecula casino & winery? Puerto Nuevo, Mexico? San Diego?
Let's face it, closer may win. With gas prices the way they are now, even a closer trip could cost as much as a long trip.

In some ways, i'm really bummed. Having married a man who has travelled & loves to do so (goody for me!), i've travelled more in our marriage than in my entire life to that point. No kidding.

I've always looked forward to our vacations. We discuss, discuss, discuss. Final plans are made, along with reservations. And then in October, we're off for another week's adventure.

Not this year. Not with the surgery.

But no more surgery talk here.

I'm on vacation. See ya in a week.

irrevelant facts

1) i have a square freckle

2) i love baseball

3) i always wanted to be a writer

4) when i was very little, i wanted a younger brother or sister. i would re-invented myself as Tommy (or Valerie. depended on my mood)

5) i'm 43. i still love PopTarts, Lucky Charms & Spaghetti-O's

6) my favorite candy bar EVER was a Marathon bar , it was a foot long braded chocolate covered dee-lite

7) CSI: Crime Scene Investigation & Mythbusters are two of my favorite shows

8) as a kid, i won a contest for two years in a row that made me Queen of the Circus

9) as Queen of said circus, i met Mel Torme

10) Brendan & i were each contestants on To Tell The Truth. we both fooled most everyone

11) as a frustrated writer, i would create screenplays. i probably still have them in storage

12) i took ballet lessons for about 5 years, and piano lessons for 13 years

13) still can't dance, don't play well

14) i HATE reality TV (i know, i'm weird)

15) i love reading

16) i love scrapbooking

17) i still enjoy counted cross stitch (even though i scrap more)

18) i have had an annual pass for Disneyland for most of my 30's. i just renewed it this year after a (almost) 3 year absence

19) i met both my best friend & my husband at Disneyland (actually, Husband & i had our first date..a BLIND date...at Disneyland)

20) i want to be Jimmy Buffet. i want to live on an island & have my life be one long vacation.

21) on my 21st birthday, i DID NOT GET CARDED. first time to buy legal beer, and didn't get carded. dang.

22) in high school i was listed in Who's Who Among American High School Students

23) i have 5 newphews, 4 neices, 1 each great newphew & neice (this with no blood siblings)

24) i had 10 pen pals in 6th grade

25) when i finally met a pen pal, i got so excited i fainted

26) i love James Bond movies

27) i would love to be a hermit (with some access to shopping, scrapbook stores, and beer)

28) at 11, i cooked an entire Thanksgiving dinner by myself from scratch

28) i didn't travel outside of California until after i got married

29) in high school, i was a staff writer for the newspaper for the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls

30) i can't wait to visit Hawaii

31) as a kid, i practically had every Barbie & Barbie product known to man (or girl) kind

32) Your Message Here

33) favorite ice cream ever: Haagen Daas vanilla

34) i have been in love with Donny Osmond since i was 12 (my husband knows. he doesn't care)

35) my age when we got married

36) my current favorite place on the planet is Catalina Island

37) favorite color: colbolt blue

38) my favorite jewelry is silver

39) favorite things to wear: capris & tees

40) when i got my dream car...a Blazer (cuz i can't afford a BMW 325i)

41) the age when i realized i would never get pregnant

42) i also love Alton Brown of Good Eats

43) my best age right now. (sorry, Oprah)

Just a few more days...

...and i'm on vacation for a whole week.

(see? even my cat is excited)

i originally had the week planned for Thanksgiving, but with the surgery, not sure how i'm gonna feel about a l-o-n-g road trip to Reno & my sister-in-law's.

At my work, for as long as i've been there, i get about 5 weeks off. It's a very good thing. Just a pain to carry it over to the next year & use it by June..or lose it.

So i've decided to take off time before the surgery & try to relax. I even talked the husband into taking an extra day so we can do something. Anything. San Diego. Mexico.
Hey, i'll even take a trip to the Morongo Casino in Palm Springs.

I'm channeling the Go-Go's now...Vacation's all i ever wanted.
A week of fun, scrapping & whatever.
Yippee!!

It's 1984...Again.

I'm having such an 80's moment. I've been hooked, line & sinkered into "Red Dawn."

Remember that movie? Yep, the first time Patrick Swazey & Jennifer Gray were in a film together (and you thought it was "Dirty Dancing").

This movie is completely hokey. And so filled with propaganda, being that it was in the middle of the Cold War. Yay America, Boo Everyone Else. That was the entire message (?) of that movie.

I remember seeing it for the first time in the theater, and being completely terrified that the movie's premise would actually happen. That we would be invaded by the communists.

What a dork i was back then...barely in my 20's. Hey, to me, "The Day After" was a news broadcast, not a made-for-TV movie.

Well, i'm older, but probably not much smarter.

Hey, at least i don't believe everything i read. Or see on TV.

California Dreamin'....

...on such a weird daaaaayyyyy

Ok so no one is gonna mistake me for either a Mama or a Papa. I can dream.

As any of you Southern Californians know...today (and last night) was Totally Weird Weather. Well, weird for here, anyways.

Thunder. Lightning. Rain.

Really, no big thing.

Unless you live here in So. Cal.

Weather, real weather, is almost unheard of here. Hey, when you can be wearing shorts on most Christmas', weather just really isn't a priority. Or an inconvenience.

And in comparison to what's going on in New Orleans & now the Keys, this is nothing.

But people (especially where i work) totally freaked today. Every crash of thunder, especially the big ones, made everyone bob up like prairie dogs. It made me laugh after awhile.

I wonder what they would do if they had to live through Katrina.

30 Days Hath September...

and in exactly one month from day, hopefully, my back ordeal will be over. i'm scheduled for the microlumbar diskectomy @ 7:30am on 10/19. and while I'm thrilled beyond words at the thought of being pain-free, the thought of someone cutting into my spine....uuugggghhhhh.

i've been doing research on the surgery...takes about an hour, i could go home that day (but i know i won't). physical therapy possibly 3x a week. time off work: 6-8 weeks.

wow. never been off that long. it'll be weird (once i start feeling better) to be at home.

I'm scared. my mind is playing with all the "what ifs": what if I'm off longer...what if something goes wrong....what if i get an infection....

what if.

now logically, i know. i know what the odds are, and how good the outcome should be. this surgery has a 95% success rate. that's pretty good, i think.

it's just that, like the rest of you, i hate the unknown.

i just want it done.

and no more what if's

i need a nap.

can't though.

one of my (many) "things", is if i fall asleep after 3pm, i can't sleep at night.

and i'm not sleeping all that great at night, either. too much stress about the back surgery (four weeks and one day and counting). i know it's a good thing, and i'll be better off afterwards, but just getting here....mercy, mercy, mercy.

but today is different. i'm wiped out. up too late (didn't get home till after 1am...that' LATE for me!). went with some girlfriends to the Martini Blues, a dinner/bar/place - two stages. we have a contractor at work in a band, so we checked them out. you can, too....The Undecided in a word: they ROCKED! Deborah is the lead singer (and our contractor)...her voice is what would happen if Bonnie Raitt & Melissa Ethridge had a love child. sooooooooo soulful. gritty. but tender & longing when needed.

i'm a baby. i was up way too late. i like my sleep.

but it was fun hanging out with my friends. it was way cool listening to a band crank out some tasty tunes.

it's too bloody early

i really need to get a wiggle on...gotta be at work @ 6 & haven't showered.

and although i HATE getting up early, there's something so soothing about being up @ 4:30 on a Saturday, (which is when i got up) and no one else is up. the entire complex is silent. makes me feel like i'm the only one here...which is a pretty good feeling.

which brings me to my desert island theory.

the more i see of "society" here in southern California, the more i want my own desert island. or my own mountain.

oh sure, i'd miss people....eventually. but i just get tired of it all, and of "them" out there, i guess.

it's one of the things i do like about B's current shift...i get lots of "me" time.

nice, nice, nice.


but now, it's off to work & deal with "them."

**sigh**

i'm too #%@*!$ old for this...

allow me to be a pouty girl for just a few minutes....

now, reading over my last post, it does seem like the wrong thing to do...whining about trivial things when there really are important & horrible things going on in this world, but this is really starting to bug me.

if you've read any of my previous posts (and if you have, you ain't telling me!), you know one of my favorite places to be is the Creating Keepsakes message board. lately though...it's starting to be a drag.

most of the girls that frequent the board are cool. they share your joys & pains & are willing to hear what you have to say. but lately, i've noticed that anytime i post, no one responds. others get tons of responses, but not me.

i realize that sounds whiney. and it is. but i really thought the clique thing ended in junior & high schools.

waaaah. boo hoo.

so suck it up, throw some dirt on it and get back in the game.

i'm just tired of it. play with everyone, or don't play at all. it brings back too many horrible memories of junior high.

thanks for reading this far. it'll get better, i just want it to be better now, not later.

and i never want anyone to feel like an outsider.

Some Things (and People) That Make Me Happy...

Fall is in the air. I love nothing more than walking outside, feeling cool air & seeing fog hanging at the tree tops.

Fall reminds me of Thanksgiving. Not only the holiday, but the act of Giving Thanks. So, here's just a few of the things i'm thankful for.



* My life. Hey, it ain't perfect, but it's mine. I wouldn't have it any other way, warts & all.

* Good friends. This is Cole, the son of my best friend who introduced Brendan & i. I love him & his sister, Jourdan, as much as if they were my own.

* Family. Again, they ain't perfect, and yes we get on each others nerves, but these people are not only part of my life, (most!) are good friends, too.

* Pain killers. Hopefully this will be a thing of the past after my back surgery. But the feeling when these drugs kick in and that pain vanishes....man. That, to quote Paris, is hot.

* My job. I'm grateful to have one, even though some days aren't fun. I like what i do, and (most!) the people i work with.

* Scrapbooking. Actually, this is a love/hate relationship. Last night, it was a hate thing, but most of the time, i love it. It may not be Creating Keepsakes or Simple Scrapbooks,
but most of the time...it's all good, baby.

* Good Eats on Food Network. If i can meet anyone on TV, it would be Alton Brown. I would love to meet & just hang out. He seems like a cool guy.

I could go on...but one of the things that really makes me happy is not boring people.

'Nuff said. Be thankful. I am.

probably a good place for us

Brendan & i...Williamsburg, VA, 2004. Thought about making this last year's Christmas card with this on the inside:

Sorry - we're a little behind in our shopping.

The First Cut Is The Deepest....

Well, it's official & has been blessed by insurance...back surgery is set for October. I got the word from my neurosurgeon today, they are removing a herniated disk that i injured last April. They sent a list of the pre-op tests i need completed before hand...wow-wow-wow-wow. Blood work, EKG, chest x-rays...then there's the post-op instructions...no showers until staples are removed IN 7 TO 10 DAYS!!!

Dang. That's a long time.

Then there's my Husband. Brendan will be taking a couple of days off, but i don't think he understands the stress i feel about having this surgery, not to mention the fun for afterwards: gotta lose weight.

OK - haven't we all at one time or another tried to lose? It's a drag. I'm just lazy. I'm pretty happy with myself; i like who i've become. I know it would be healthier for myself to lose weight. I know i'll live longer. Lazy, lazy, lazy.

I'll be off work for 6-8 weeks. Never been off work for that long, either. It will play havoc with our Thanksgiving plans. But, on the up side, this surgery has a 95% success rate. I'm looking so forward to not taking Vicaden every bloody day. I'm looking forward to going to bed & waking up in no pain. Brendan is looking forward to not having a grumpy wife. LOL.

So - in about a month, i should be in better shape.

If i can just handle the stress.

You Made Me Love You...

Just a quick one - it's a work morning.

It's Christmas 2002, and Brendan & i are in Reno for the holidays at my sister in law's. Maureen is a Creative Memories consultant, and had made noises that she was going to give me some scrapbooking supplies.

Let's make this clear: i never wanted to scrapbook. I did counted cross stitch, and that was enough. I didn't want or need to do this.

So, by the time we left Reno, i had about $200 of supplies. Maureen had also taken me to the local scrapbook store, Treasured Memories and i (reluctenly) bought some Disney scrapbook paper & stickers (B & i had gone to Disney World in October). Maureen bought me a magazine Creating Keepsakes. I promised to read it on the flight home to California, but i really felt bad about everything she had give me.

I wasn't interested in scrapbooking.

Read the magazine. I thought it was cool, but i wasn't even close to being that talented (note: still aren't!). But i was beginning to see how i could maybe adapt the layouts to my limited ability. I bought more paper. More stickers. Another magazine. More, more, more.

It's been almost three years now. I've completed four 12x12 family albums, a childhood album for Brendan and a vacation album for a good friend & his wife. I have more paper than i even care to admit, ribbons & fibers, some stickers (not a lot, though!), lots of pens, album pages & page protectors.

Maureen introduced me to a new love. I didn't want to do it. But i'm sooo glad she did!

One More Thing...

I had dinner tonight with one of my best friends & her two kids. Brendan even drove up from work to join us in Rancho Cucamonga. My friend, Kristie, is (along with her mom) responsible for Brendan & i meeting and eventually marrying.

So, here i am, driving home on the 10 freeway, thinking how blessed i am.

And what a great life i have.

I have been blessed beyond measure. And i want to share some of them with you.

* i have a wonderful mom. (and yeah, my stepdad is pretty cool, too)

* my sister in law & i rock! we're so close, that she's told me if the worst happened & Brendan & i divorced, she still want me as part of her & her kids' lifes. how cool is that?

* my husband is the kindest, sweetest, bestest friend i have.

* i once met Mel Torme (see previous blog)

* both Brendan & i were contestants on the TV show To Tell The Truth. Brendan fooled the entire panel into thinking he was a casket salesman. i was a world-champion hog caller and fooled three of the four panelists, but i got the audience vote. We each came home with $1000.. good vacation that year!

* i've seen the Dooby Brothers at the Hollywood Bowl.

* in both my junior & senior years of high school, i was voted into Who's Who Among American High School Students.(STILL not sure how that happened!)

* i have friends who love & laugh with me (and sometimes at me) and my foilables. i would go through the gates of hell for these people (and you know who you are!). i believe they would do the same for me.

It's really an ordinary life. But it's been blessed with extraordinary people.

Five things...

Just five.

Five things i'll bet you never knew about me. Then, after you read these, it's your turn.

1) i HATE getting magazines from the front of the rack. Any time i buy a magazine, i'll get it from the middle or back of rack. And if you ever want to torture me, start reading my brand new magazine BEFORE i get a chance to.

2) my favorite thing to do? Snuggle under flannel rag quilts made by my mom.

3) i was Queen of the Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey Circus. Two years in a row, when i was a kid. And one of the years, my seats for the circus was next to Mel Torme! I brought my younger cousins with me, and i remember them nagging the begeebers out of me to ask him for an autograph. And i, at the age of 10 or 11, remember trying to play it cool and kept saying, "no...let him enjoy the circus." Whatever. I was a pain, then too.
Well, as Queen, i was part of the circus parade, that circled the outside of the circus rings..so when i got back to my seat, Mr Torme said to me "I didn't know i was sitting next to a star," and smiled so graciously. I was thrilled! We even exchanged autographs

4) i have a square freckle. Yep, a square one. On the right side of my nose. My Grandmother LOVED to find it as i was growing up.

5) i love buttermilk.

Your turn!

TGIF

Well, for most of us. I'm scheduled to work tomorrow from 6am-12noon. AND i'm bringing in the donuts. **sigh**

Don't get me wrong - i really enjoy my job and (most) of the people i work with. I'm just a big baby & i like my sleep. I like sleeping in, too (when my body allows it).

Today is the first real day of the Husband's new job. He'll be working about 40 minutes from our home, Tuesday-Saturday. The one good thing is that i'll get to spend some time with him on Sunday, as he's sleeping when i get up in the a.m. & gone when i get home in the afternoon.
Am i married? Not sure, but i always like it when he snuggles next to me in bed when he gets home (even if it does wake me up and i'm SO grouchy when i get awakened before my time).

Last night, i had two moments that instantly turned me into a version of my own blithering idiot 13 year old self. I was starting to work on a scrapbooking layout of the Donny Osmond (yes Donny Osmond. i'll give you a moment to get over it. done? OK, moving on) concert i went to last June. He just became a grandpa, which made me feel old again, but i just kept looking at my pictures & went back to being 13 and SO in love.

Then i decided to check in on the Creating Keepsakes message board (check it out: http://www.creatingkeepsakes.com/message_board/) just to see what's been going on. Seems that lately there've been some nasty ladies posting smack (am i allowed to say that at my age?) about other members...just generally being a pack of hens. Anyways, someone had posted that Cathy Zielske, a scrapper who's style & journaling i LOVE, and who earlier this week had decided to take her blogsite down (http://cathyzielske.typepad.com) changed her mind because of all the positive emails she'd received, begging her not to do this thing. So, i did a total 13 year old girl thing...i wrote her a fan e/mail.

Nothing wonderful...just how much she inspires me in the feeble attempts i give scrapbooking. I want to be better, and most importantly, i want my journaling to be like hers...when someone reads my jouraling in a layout, i want them to feel the emotions i'm trying to convey. Cathy's journaling does that for me.

So, i wrote her. Sent the email. Tried working more on the Donny (stop laughing!) layout. Then surprisingly, the Husband came home WAY early from work. I got to share some time with him, then decided on a whim, to check my email one more time.

You've Got Mail.

From Catheryn Zielske.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

I am one again a blithering idiot, a complete groupie. She made a few comments about my last post & the whole infertility thing. And here's the kicker (and i quote):

" p.s you have a beautiful "voice" in your writing. "

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

Wow-wow-wow-wow. I want to believe, but as with most people, the self esteem sometimes is in the toilet. But this...this is a much needed boost. Such simple words and yet they completely changed my outlook...all in a matter of minutes.

I know i'm not there with journaling, or any of my writing for that matter. I need to be better. I need to have people feel what i feel, whether it's anger, laughter or tears.

Even if it's me feeling like a 13 year old kid again.

Random Thoughts

Did I ever mention that we don't have kids?

Nope...Not a one. Only a furbaby...a cat named Elvis that we've had almost as long as i've dated my husband.

Growing up, I ALWAYS knew I would have kids. Babysat a lot as a kid, but KNEW I would have a family of my own some day. Got married @ 35, first time for both of us. He wanted to wait two years before we started trying, my take was that at my age, two years could be two years too many. So after a year we started. And nothing happened.

Went to an infertility specialist. The minute I walked into his office, I KNEW this was it! THIS is gonna be the answer to my prayers. He ran tests on both of us, and decided the problem was me. Them little ol' eggs just wasn't being produced. So, it was on the clomid.

Ever been on clomid? Ugggh...Here I am trying to get pregnant, and the meds are making me feel like i'm going through menopause.

Then there's the comments of well-meaning, but completely clueless people. "Just relax. You're trying too hard." Right. "If the Lord wants you to have a baby, it will happen." OK. I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason. And that the Lord has everything in His plan. But, if it wasn't in the plan for me to have a baby, then why was I given such a strong desire to have kids?
And there's my favorite: "Well, at least you're having fun trying." Well, great. It stopped being fun when every morning starts with me taking my temperature, charting & waiting for the right time to "do it" and then wait for about 15 minutes or longer, hoping the little swimmers will make their way to the (I hope) waiting eggs.

So clomid didn't work. What's next? Well, it would be artificial insemination. WAY too much money. Adoption? I'd love to. Husband once said "Well, I always thought I could have kids of my own." I don't want to bring kids into a family where it's possible resentment is there because it's not a "kid of my own."

I have resentment. Resentment every time a baby shower happens at work. Resentment when someone brings in their babies. Resentment when dear friends tell me that they are pregnant.
I've had therapy. I'm at the point where I don't believe this feeling...of resentment, anger, and the most indescribable sadness will ever go away. It's better..much better than it was. But dissipate? Never.

So what's next? It's my job to try & move on. It will never happen; every day it hurts less. But i do have a great life, and a wonderful husband. I just want to keep it that way.

just another day....

I guess.

While I am so full of sadness for those in the Gulf Coast, it really pisses me off that people like W & Sean Penn are trying to use this as a possible photo op. I mean, come on, Sean...who do you think you're kidding? Charity begins at home - so give till it hurts...then give some more.

Heard someone on the radio today talking about how he & his wife got divorced. Didn't get into specifics, but it seemed to me that after he got transferred to Texas from San Diego (yep, he's in the Navy), the Wife said, "Oh by the way - I don't love you anymore. Here's the papers." Yet another thing that pisses me off. It's women like her that give the rest of us a really bad name.

Back surgery date is coming up...well, OK - so it's coming up in seven weeks, but I'm telling you, it's consuming my waking moments...and some of my sleeping ones, too. Dreamed the other night that the surgery was a bust...sorry, Valerie...you're gonna walk like Festus from Gunsmoke for the rest of your life. (don't know Gunsmoke? turn on TV Land; they show it all the time)

Time for me to go to bed. I'm dreaming of a world where poverty is abolished, celebrities use their, well...celebrity for the good of others, not their own P.R., chicks do right by the people in their lives and this bloody surgery is done.

Or better yet, where we need no use of rants, raves & discussions of everything wrong in this world.

Just another Labor Day...

So...it's Labor Day & the beginning of my very own blog. Labor Day is a good excuse to have a bbq, drink too much beer (like we need an excuse, right?), and watch bookoos of Labor Day Marathons on TV. Right now, it's CSI on Spike that has my attention.

CSI. I love this show. One of the few TV shows i really like. Why? It is somewhat of an intellectual show i suppose...but i'm anything BUT an intellectual. And i cannot STAND reality TV. American Idol, Big Brother, Survivor...you name it, i don't watch 'em. Someone said in the paper that reality TV is for those who don't have a life. Don't know if i believe that...but i know i don't like 'em. So i don't watch 'em. If i want reality..harsh reality...i'll turn on the news and see the latest reality show...Katrina.

So what does any of this have to do with Labor Day? Labor Day, besides being excuses for bbq, beer, etc. is the last hurrah of Summer. It reminds me of being a kid and knowing that school was starting. Sadness mixed with gladness. I was ready to get back into a routine of school (but i would never EVER tell my mom that!), see my friends and (horrors!) learn something.

But i'm not a kid anymore. Maybe that's what makes me sad about Labor Day - that i'm not a kid, and there is no more summer vacation. THIS is reality.

Or maybe i just miss getting a new box of Crayolas every year.