the Husband informed me this a.m. that he was going to study group for one of his classes today.
he wouldn't be home till later today.
i've got the whole house to myself, and a list of things i want/need to do: clean.scrap.create.cook.
what do i want to do right now? sleep.
a list of things to do and all i want to do is inspect the inside of my eyelids for cracks.
hmmmmm...think this is still catch-up from my sleepless Wednesday night?
naah. just another visit from the irony fairy.
in other news...
from our supervisors meeting on Thursday, filed under the 'i am SO pretensions' department.
one of the supervisors, who is an expert on all things healthy (she likes to give me crap about drinking diet Coke, losing weight, being healthy, taking assorted supplements, etc. ), says, for no apparent reason, "Bill went to the 99cents Store yesterday and got ketchup. i threw it out."
i looked at the big boss. she looked at me, then said "what, he can't have ketchup with his fries?"
Healthy Girl looked amazed we would even ask.
"noooo. commercial ketchup is made with high fructose corn syrup. Trader Joe's has one that's just tomatoes, vinegar..."
sorry. i stopped listening at that point.
i have no problem with healthy. but dammit, if my husband wants Heinz ketchup (which he doesn't - he doesn't like ketchup), i will buy him Heinz ketchup. high fructose corn syrup and all.
after all - there are limits. even in ketchup.
Sep 29, 2007
still here. still breathing. still crabby. still random.
ah, Gentle Reader, what a week.
things are weird around here - at work, at home at everywhere.
then i realized there was a full moon this week.
coincidence? i think not.
the Haunt has started...and last night the wind blew just right so i could hear their screaming.
it's weird to write that. probably just as weird to read.
"um, yeah - i heard the screaming, but just figured it was, y'know, none of my business."
one of the cool things about living so close to Knotts, is, early in the morning, when everything is so quiet, we can hear their train as they warm it up.
nothing has more memory stirring power than the song of a train whistle. it can signal welcome. goodbye. and the beginning of a million country songs.
the train reminds me of dating. weird? come on - you should now my tangents by now.
when the Husband and i started dating, he lived in La Mesa, in San Diego county, near San Diego State University. nice - especially when you consider that is where he graduated.
eventually he moved to the northern part of the country in a urban/rural town. it was close to Oceanside, the closest town to the Marine base Pendleton, which was also home to a huge train station.
then i found the commuter train went from the OC to Oceanside. after that, every Friday while a ton of businessmen...and women...were on their way home, checking their briefcases and laptops, finishing up work, i had my dufflebag, backpack and 'In Style' magazine, going to see my boyfriend.
ah, precious memories.
one of the best things i remember about those trips (besides the excitement of seeing my sweetie again) was the landscapes. the route eventually went out near the ocean - so i had coastal views before it turned slightly inland. one trip though, the train slowed down on a section of track where we usually would speed up.
there was a herd of sheep, meandering across the track.
sheesh. like they owned the place.
it was an amazing sight...especially for the uber urban chicky here.
and one of these days, i'm gonna make him take the train with me back down there. and with any luck, there will be more sheep.
in other news...
quotes. scrappers love 'em. they're usually inspirational, occasionally poignant.
my latest favorite is neither inspirational or poignant. and it comes from a magnet.
after all, isn't that where most of the great philosophies of the nation come from?
this one came from Alcatraz. yes, that Alcatraz. it comes from their Rules & Regulations for the prisoners.
"You are entitled to food, water and medical attention. Anything else is considered a privilege."
Paris? Lindsay? Britney? y'all paying attention?
maybe what i should do is head up to San Francisco, take the tour again and get a few of 'em. i could send them to those chickies.
but they probably wouldn't get it.
and i'm pretty sure Brit or Paris couldn't pronounce privilege.
things are weird around here - at work, at home at everywhere.
then i realized there was a full moon this week.
coincidence? i think not.
the Haunt has started...and last night the wind blew just right so i could hear their screaming.
it's weird to write that. probably just as weird to read.
"um, yeah - i heard the screaming, but just figured it was, y'know, none of my business."
one of the cool things about living so close to Knotts, is, early in the morning, when everything is so quiet, we can hear their train as they warm it up.
nothing has more memory stirring power than the song of a train whistle. it can signal welcome. goodbye. and the beginning of a million country songs.
the train reminds me of dating. weird? come on - you should now my tangents by now.
when the Husband and i started dating, he lived in La Mesa, in San Diego county, near San Diego State University. nice - especially when you consider that is where he graduated.
eventually he moved to the northern part of the country in a urban/rural town. it was close to Oceanside, the closest town to the Marine base Pendleton, which was also home to a huge train station.
then i found the commuter train went from the OC to Oceanside. after that, every Friday while a ton of businessmen...and women...were on their way home, checking their briefcases and laptops, finishing up work, i had my dufflebag, backpack and 'In Style' magazine, going to see my boyfriend.
ah, precious memories.
one of the best things i remember about those trips (besides the excitement of seeing my sweetie again) was the landscapes. the route eventually went out near the ocean - so i had coastal views before it turned slightly inland. one trip though, the train slowed down on a section of track where we usually would speed up.
there was a herd of sheep, meandering across the track.
sheesh. like they owned the place.
it was an amazing sight...especially for the uber urban chicky here.
and one of these days, i'm gonna make him take the train with me back down there. and with any luck, there will be more sheep.
in other news...
quotes. scrappers love 'em. they're usually inspirational, occasionally poignant.
my latest favorite is neither inspirational or poignant. and it comes from a magnet.
after all, isn't that where most of the great philosophies of the nation come from?
this one came from Alcatraz. yes, that Alcatraz. it comes from their Rules & Regulations for the prisoners.
"You are entitled to food, water and medical attention. Anything else is considered a privilege."
Paris? Lindsay? Britney? y'all paying attention?
maybe what i should do is head up to San Francisco, take the tour again and get a few of 'em. i could send them to those chickies.
but they probably wouldn't get it.
and i'm pretty sure Brit or Paris couldn't pronounce privilege.
Sep 25, 2007
i want a boring day.
Gentle Reader, i would give my eyetooth for a boring day at work.
just a day when i was yawning for lack of anything to do.
no drama.
no whining.
no crying.
but enough about me.
every day, it's really something new. it's never usually boring, which is actually OK, as i would rather be busy than not.
but man. today was the topper.
started out with a very grumpy manager, who had had it with a lot of the BS going on - people not turning work in when they should, not working things properly, blah, blah, blah. i don't blame her, because when the ad designers don't do their job right, it makes it difficult for Valerie to do her job right.
and kids, if it comes down to a Happy Val or a Grumpy Val, nine out of 10 will pick the Happy Val.
but really the Grumpy Val is FAR more interesting.
so the bar was set - 9:30 we're gonna have a meeting. everyone be there.
9:15, i'm heading back to my desk after getting a bottle of water from our cafeteria, when my supervisor waves me over and is mouthing something.
(note: i do not have any deaf relatives. i am not deaf myself. i cannot read lips. do not try to mouth words to me because i don't know what the freak you're saying. so if you're trying to warn me that a psycho is standing behind you with a bloody knife in his hand, dude, you're screwed. and probably so am i, because then the psycho will dispatch me after he's done with you.)
i have no idea where that came from. too much Dexter.
walking over to my boss, he says, quietly, "dial 911"
hole-lee crap.
my boss is holding on to one of the guys in our group. his eyes are closed but damn he does NOT look good. so, i call our secretary and ask her to phone 911, calmly, then head over to my boss.
hey! i get to use my first aid training!! woo-hoo!!!
our dear dizzy lad says he was reading email then things got fuzzy, then spinning.
he has not eaten breakfast.
he is diabetic.
i am now pissed.
after dealing with a Husband AND a Mother who are both diabetic (not to mention my late mother in law and my late grandma), nothing irritates me more than knowing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and not doing it.
drives.me.nuts.
so, since my diabetic friend is in good hands and the paramedics are on their way, i scoot downstairs to get some OJ (the beverage, not the murderer. ooops. did i say that out loud?) and a straw.
and after he starts drinking it, everyone is amazed to see how much better he looks and how the color is coming back to his face.
holy crap! i could be a faith healer!!
paramedics came, along with the firemen. then, unfortunately the ever so cute firemen departed and left the ever so ordinary paramedics. dagnabbit.
because even in the face of crisis, i appreciate a fine looking man.
Diabetic Boy came back later this afternoon - the hospital pumped him full of unpronounceable stuff and asked him to follow up with his own doctor. and my prescription was for food. eaten. regularly.
but what made me laugh was, later this afternoon, my supervisor and another supervisor couldn't believe i was so calm. apparently they're both married to wiggers.
i've never been a wigger. one of the better ideas we had one April Fool's was, when the current manager (at the time my direct supervisor) called on her way in, i was to answer the phone and freak out because two people called in sick (wink, nudge), someone else had car trouble (nudge, nudge) and the other one had a sick kid (snicker) so it was just me by myself in the department.
i did my best acting. there was silence for a moment, then she said "liar. you don't panic."
i don't fall apart during a crisis. afterwards, i can be found in a closet rocking back and forth plucking petals off daisies like poor psycho Ophelia. and i don't tell you this story to say "ta-da!!! ain't i great?"
but for once this month...just once...i'd like to not have to be the strong one. the rock. the go-to girl. i'd like it to be about me.
i want to be bored. i want to be Ophelia. i'd like to have someone calm me down, for a change.
or i could become a faith healer.
demon, come out!!
and send me $20. PayPal is fine.
just a day when i was yawning for lack of anything to do.
no drama.
no whining.
no crying.
but enough about me.
every day, it's really something new. it's never usually boring, which is actually OK, as i would rather be busy than not.
but man. today was the topper.
started out with a very grumpy manager, who had had it with a lot of the BS going on - people not turning work in when they should, not working things properly, blah, blah, blah. i don't blame her, because when the ad designers don't do their job right, it makes it difficult for Valerie to do her job right.
and kids, if it comes down to a Happy Val or a Grumpy Val, nine out of 10 will pick the Happy Val.
but really the Grumpy Val is FAR more interesting.
so the bar was set - 9:30 we're gonna have a meeting. everyone be there.
9:15, i'm heading back to my desk after getting a bottle of water from our cafeteria, when my supervisor waves me over and is mouthing something.
(note: i do not have any deaf relatives. i am not deaf myself. i cannot read lips. do not try to mouth words to me because i don't know what the freak you're saying. so if you're trying to warn me that a psycho is standing behind you with a bloody knife in his hand, dude, you're screwed. and probably so am i, because then the psycho will dispatch me after he's done with you.)
i have no idea where that came from. too much Dexter.
walking over to my boss, he says, quietly, "dial 911"
hole-lee crap.
my boss is holding on to one of the guys in our group. his eyes are closed but damn he does NOT look good. so, i call our secretary and ask her to phone 911, calmly, then head over to my boss.
hey! i get to use my first aid training!! woo-hoo!!!
our dear dizzy lad says he was reading email then things got fuzzy, then spinning.
he has not eaten breakfast.
he is diabetic.
i am now pissed.
after dealing with a Husband AND a Mother who are both diabetic (not to mention my late mother in law and my late grandma), nothing irritates me more than knowing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and not doing it.
drives.me.nuts.
so, since my diabetic friend is in good hands and the paramedics are on their way, i scoot downstairs to get some OJ (the beverage, not the murderer. ooops. did i say that out loud?) and a straw.
and after he starts drinking it, everyone is amazed to see how much better he looks and how the color is coming back to his face.
holy crap! i could be a faith healer!!
paramedics came, along with the firemen. then, unfortunately the ever so cute firemen departed and left the ever so ordinary paramedics. dagnabbit.
because even in the face of crisis, i appreciate a fine looking man.
Diabetic Boy came back later this afternoon - the hospital pumped him full of unpronounceable stuff and asked him to follow up with his own doctor. and my prescription was for food. eaten. regularly.
but what made me laugh was, later this afternoon, my supervisor and another supervisor couldn't believe i was so calm. apparently they're both married to wiggers.
i've never been a wigger. one of the better ideas we had one April Fool's was, when the current manager (at the time my direct supervisor) called on her way in, i was to answer the phone and freak out because two people called in sick (wink, nudge), someone else had car trouble (nudge, nudge) and the other one had a sick kid (snicker) so it was just me by myself in the department.
i did my best acting. there was silence for a moment, then she said "liar. you don't panic."
i don't fall apart during a crisis. afterwards, i can be found in a closet rocking back and forth plucking petals off daisies like poor psycho Ophelia. and i don't tell you this story to say "ta-da!!! ain't i great?"
but for once this month...just once...i'd like to not have to be the strong one. the rock. the go-to girl. i'd like it to be about me.
i want to be bored. i want to be Ophelia. i'd like to have someone calm me down, for a change.
or i could become a faith healer.
demon, come out!!
and send me $20. PayPal is fine.
Sep 24, 2007
it's an obsession.
i believe i have already established that i am, shall we say, different.
as a kid, i lived for horror flicks.
now, not so much.
but as a kid, one of my worst experienced happened while watching "Carrie" on TV. edited up the wazoo, mostly because this was in the days before cable, before dish, before HBO or even ONTV (remember that?).
and, as always, i watched it with all the lights off.
so at the very end, when Carrie's hand reached up through the grave and grabbed the other girl by the arm, i dang near peed my pants.
and of course, i did the logical thing. i headed in the kitchen, grabbed the biggest knife we had, and, slowly walking through the house, turned on every.bloody.light.
we lived in a big house.
after i got them all on, i sat down again to calm myself down...by watching the news. and the minute my bum touched the chair...
the phone rang.
there could still be the poo stain on the chair i was sitting in, as well as a dent in the ceiling, shaped like me.
fast forward some 30 years.
last year, during a Showtime preview, i watched Dexter, a show about a serial killer who now works for the police department as a forensic expert on blood splatter.
and, in his spare time, kills people. bad people.
as a kid, i lived for horror flicks.
now, not so much.
but as a kid, one of my worst experienced happened while watching "Carrie" on TV. edited up the wazoo, mostly because this was in the days before cable, before dish, before HBO or even ONTV (remember that?).
and, as always, i watched it with all the lights off.
so at the very end, when Carrie's hand reached up through the grave and grabbed the other girl by the arm, i dang near peed my pants.
and of course, i did the logical thing. i headed in the kitchen, grabbed the biggest knife we had, and, slowly walking through the house, turned on every.bloody.light.
we lived in a big house.
after i got them all on, i sat down again to calm myself down...by watching the news. and the minute my bum touched the chair...
the phone rang.
there could still be the poo stain on the chair i was sitting in, as well as a dent in the ceiling, shaped like me.
fast forward some 30 years.
last year, during a Showtime preview, i watched Dexter, a show about a serial killer who now works for the police department as a forensic expert on blood splatter.
and, in his spare time, kills people. bad people.
dude is almost charming.
at Blockbuster yesterday, i picked up the first disc of season one.
then proceeded to watch all four hours yesterday afternoon.
and spent most of today obsessing on when i could watch the rest of it. so, on the way home from work today, i picked up the remaining discs. currently i'm half way through disc number two.
it's really a good show. nothing gory...which is good. a few more eff-bombs than even i like. but i'm am completely obsessed with it right now. i'm even willing to shell out more cash so we can get Showtime and i can watch season two, when it starts in a few weeks.
ah...my inner kid. still in there. still hanging out and occasionally takes over. right now, she's still in love with Donny Osmond. occasionally longs for cherry Slurpees, bubble gum. and Halloween Haunt.
watching obsessions of charming serial killer on TV.
Sep 21, 2007
how old am i again?
'cuz right now i'm back to my 15 year old, Shaun Cassidy/Donny Osmond loving, earth-shoe & Dittos wearing, Tiger Beat reading self.
man. i am not right.
there's a reason why i'm chunkified.
bow before me.
i rule the world.
the average size worn by women in this country is a14.
so it's about freaking time that stores are getting way cuter clothes in larger sizes.
i know i should care about myself more. Melissa is doing soooooo well. Weight Watchers is good, i have had success with it. i'm just not motivated enough.
and, like a lot of people, when i'm not happy, i eat.
but before i eat...i so gotta buy the food to eat.
and that's why i so love Costco. especially the samples.
yumyumyumyumyum.
so imagine my delight when these lovely items found their way to my home.
let's start our little tour from left to right, shall we?
that would be Starbucks Frappiccinos. dark.chocolate.peppermint.frappiccinos. then, lucky me, they had the sample table right next to the displays.
i almost wept with joy. dang that was goooood. so they came home with me.
next - Harris Ranch pot roast. fully cooked. heat and eat. and yes, samples were available. i body checked a nine year old to avoid getting a fatty piece.
because we chunky chicks will NOT let anything get in the way of our food.
lastly - courtesy of LaBrea Bakery, Rosemary & Olive Oil bread.
and it was still warm. holy moley, kids, NOTHING in this world makes me happier than fresh baked goodies. i would sell my own mother for some fresh baked still warm bread and cookies.
sorry mom. but you would do the same thing. it's how i ended up in a Wonder Bakery for about six months, working off a debt.
but that's another post.
and it smells freaking amazing. cannot WAIT to rip some off and dip in a lovely mixture of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. yum.
*sigh* grocery shopping. it's why my bum is the size of Texas.
praise Costco from whom all blessings flow. into my cart.
Sep 20, 2007
confirming my geekiness...
or my total white trashiness. either one is good.
have you seen the movies that are coming out lately?
Elizabeth - The Golden Age.
The Kingdom.
In the Shadow of the Moon.
and i want to see this.
i.am.a.freak.
have you seen the movies that are coming out lately?
Elizabeth - The Golden Age.
The Kingdom.
In the Shadow of the Moon.
and i want to see this.
i.am.a.freak.
Sep 17, 2007
30 second job application.
OK. so it takes longer than 30 seconds. and HA! it's something i actually made up meself!
who are you: valerie
where you live: mostly smoggy so. cal.
how old: none of your business...OK, 45.
your favorite -
job: i've had some good ones here at the current work location. i pretty much like what i'm doing right now. and i like it even more when they keep paying me to do it.
food: my crazy auntie kay's fried chicken. the woman was from Missouri and could cooooook. but would never EVER share recipes. wrong, wrong, wrong. my second favorite is Kristie's chicken fingers. they SO rock.
tv: CSI. cannot get enough.
song: torn between 'Without Love' from Hairspray (Jax knows what i mean!) and 'Everything' by Michael Buble.
meal: breakfast. i LOVE breakfast.
memory from childhood: being Queen of the Circus and meeting Mel Torme.
good student? oh no. got enough to be a low B average. i always did well in english and history. PE and math - not so much.
bike or rollerskate - bike. i SO cannot rollerskate. but i can push myself along the wall of a roller rink. i push a mean wall.
would you rather...
travel or stay home: travel. everywhere. the Husband has been to a ton of places. i want to do that, too.
paper or plastic: paper. it's the PC thing to say. but plastic fits better in my trash cans. then i fill the landfills. man. cannot win.
fly or drive: fly. as much as i HATE flying, it's way faster. i'd rather get there and spend my time there. i know everyone says getting there is half the fun, blah, blah, blah. i want to spend my time exploring.
snow or surf: surf is all i've ever known. snow is nice when i'm in for the day, or i'm going home.
what you're good at: writing. well, i may not be good at it, but i love doing it.
what you wanna be good at: photography. man, i so wanna be Tara Whitney's lovechild. just a 16th of her talent would make me happy.
your turn. feel free to help yourself, and have fun. change around. make it your own.
who are you: valerie
where you live: mostly smoggy so. cal.
how old: none of your business...OK, 45.
your favorite -
job: i've had some good ones here at the current work location. i pretty much like what i'm doing right now. and i like it even more when they keep paying me to do it.
food: my crazy auntie kay's fried chicken. the woman was from Missouri and could cooooook. but would never EVER share recipes. wrong, wrong, wrong. my second favorite is Kristie's chicken fingers. they SO rock.
tv: CSI. cannot get enough.
song: torn between 'Without Love' from Hairspray (Jax knows what i mean!) and 'Everything' by Michael Buble.
meal: breakfast. i LOVE breakfast.
memory from childhood: being Queen of the Circus and meeting Mel Torme.
good student? oh no. got enough to be a low B average. i always did well in english and history. PE and math - not so much.
bike or rollerskate - bike. i SO cannot rollerskate. but i can push myself along the wall of a roller rink. i push a mean wall.
would you rather...
travel or stay home: travel. everywhere. the Husband has been to a ton of places. i want to do that, too.
paper or plastic: paper. it's the PC thing to say. but plastic fits better in my trash cans. then i fill the landfills. man. cannot win.
fly or drive: fly. as much as i HATE flying, it's way faster. i'd rather get there and spend my time there. i know everyone says getting there is half the fun, blah, blah, blah. i want to spend my time exploring.
snow or surf: surf is all i've ever known. snow is nice when i'm in for the day, or i'm going home.
what you're good at: writing. well, i may not be good at it, but i love doing it.
what you wanna be good at: photography. man, i so wanna be Tara Whitney's lovechild. just a 16th of her talent would make me happy.
your turn. feel free to help yourself, and have fun. change around. make it your own.
fun things to do on a vacation day.
- cleaning house. why yes, i DID hit my head this morning. how did you know?
- grocery shopping (i do love grocery shopping. it's a sickness).
- getting dishes washed.
- talking to my sister in law AND my niece in one fun filled, animal impression (courtesy of the four year old) conversation.
- baking banana bread. i love that it's cool enough to have the oven on.
- renting Blades of Glory. dumb. sometimes funny, but mostly dumb.
- thinking of napping. yum, yum, yum.
- watching CSI season three on DVD.
- looking again at the airline tickets for Thanksgiving in Reno.
- having the Niece ask when you're coming to see her, and, after telling her it's in November, hearing her gasp of delight as she says, "Mommy!! she's coming in November!"
and some not-so-fun things to do on a vacation day:
- sneeze so hard your ear pops.
- putting freshly washed dishes away.
- realizing after you've gone grocery shopping that you FORGOT MUSHROOMS. THAT WERE ON YOUR GROCERY LIST. THAT YOU READ WHILE HAVING YOUR TRIFOCALS ON. apparently i need a brain scan.
- realize that your vacation day is almost over and tomorrow is back to reality. uggh.
- my ear aches now. dagnabbit.
and one final thought...
as i left today for the grocery store, the plumbers were visiting the complex, replacing a toilet. they had to move their truck so i could get out. and this is what i saw stenciled on the back of their truck -
"Your S**t is our Bread and Butter."
ya gotta admit, it's catchy. you just can't make this crap up.
pun fully intended.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)