do the clam!

i, and others of my generation, have it good.

when we were growing up, we had some interesting role models. old traditions of what women are and should do were being shattered. women re-entered the workforce en mass. they worked (and still do) on destroying the glass ceiling. they burned their bras.

well, two outta three ain't bad.

but my point is, to quote a certain old cigarette commercial, we've come a long way, baby.

except for me.

Gentle Reader, i am a baby. bay-bee. however, i can rescue spiders (i hardly ever kill 'em, i try to set 'em free) - i don't freak out at bugs, snakes or sales. (don't get me started on the missing "chick genes," that the Husband says are gone...that's another post)

but when it comes to my food - it needs to be different. how different?

like not look like it's original packaging.

here's an example: not long after we got married, we went out to dinner with friends to a seafood restaurant called the Crab Pot. they had a special called, you guessed it: the Pot. it was a traditional New England seafood boil: potatoes, corn, shrimp, and whatever else - dumped on the paper-covered table in front of you.

it's most neanderthal in nature. grunt, grab and grub. i have no problem with that...except...

the shrimp had eyes. because their heads were still on!!

ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew.

couldn't do it. just couldn't do it. i really like my food to, well...not look like it's original packaging.

my pork can't look like Porky. my steaks not like Bossy and my fish should not, under any circumstances, look like Nemo.

fast forward to last night.

dinner started with the most faboo clam chowder ever. EVER. then came a bowl of clams & mussels. never having either in the shell, well... it was an experience, but they were good.

then came the centerpiece of the dinner: a whole Maine lobster. do let me repeat that: whole.Maine.lobster. with antenna. with eyes.

holy freaking crap.

neither of us have had any experience with a whole lobster. or crab, either. when we've gone to Mexico for lobster, it's been cleaned up. the nasties taken off. NO FREAKING EYES!!!!

so, being adults in age only, we attempt to get cracking.

sorry. i had to say it.

we eventually called on the maiter'd for some pointers, then went back to the task at hand.

wait a minute. what the hell is that green slimy crap?!
the Husband leans across the table and says "avoid it."
but what is it??
not sure, he says, but avoid it.

avoid it?! damn! it's everywhere!! how can i avoid it? ew.ew.ew.ew.ew.ew.ew.ewwww!

meanwhile, Larry the Lobster is still fixing a steely eye on me. i was trying to keep my Big Girl Panties on, but kids, it was getting harder and harder.
even though it was completely all in my head, i could feel my tum-tum getting a little squirrley.

it really was good. it was just something i wasn't used to..or the Husband, either.
on the drive home, he was convinced that all our problems could be solved by the interenet.

"i'm gonna go to ask.com, and look up How to Eat a Whole Lobster. then we'll have instructions and can do this better next time."

there can be a next time. really, there can.
but there just better not be a head. or eyes. or green crap inside.

more this and less of that.

• my mom's surgery turned out well...she's feeling pretty perky...mostly because of the Demerol. that'll make anyone feel perky.
• the clambake was...different. but that's another post. suffice to say, again, that i am a big baby and really do prefer my food to not be in it's original form.and the lobster was.
• my bestest friend leaves tomorrow for New York City with her kids...do keep her in your prayers that they have a wonderful, safe trip. especially for Kristie...she's as good a flier as i am.
• looking for Hints from Heloise: anyone got any ideas why my feet & ankles are swollen? i'm certainly not preggers...so is there any other reason?

more on the clambake tomorrow. just a preview: it had eyes. it looked at me. ewwwwwww.

baby.

who needs caffeine?

today started so ordinary. just another boring workday that, thankfully, was a Friday.
which of course means the weekend is here.

Husband left for work before i did, and as i sat to catch a few minutes of the news, our phone rang.

phones ringing that early can not be a good thing.
but no one was there. that was weird, i thought. not nearly as weird as what's going on in London, but...

POUND!POUND!POUND!POUND!!!

what th'?

"Orange County Sheriff - OPEN THE DOOR NOW!"

WHAT TH'????!!!!!

"THIS IS THE ORANGE COUNTY SHERIFF!! YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO OPEN THE DOOR BEFORE I KICK IT IN!"

i was ready to dive under the bed with the cat. that's when the phone rang again - the Husband. calling to tell me that the cops were here.

duh. i've figured that out.

he had gotten down to his car and saw this big-ass white van double-parked, and began muttering under his breath about the schmucks double parking, etc. that's when the doors on the van opened and at least ten sheriffs piled out. big sheriffs.

at least five of them were upstairs. two at the back of our complex, two at the bottom of our stairs.

oh, did i mention the stairs we share with our upstairs neighbors? the ones the sheriffs were entering??

holy stinking crap.

they were looking for a man who apparently used to live there (which is funny, we've been here ten years and have only seen the two guys that live across from us) who missed a court appearance for narcotics trafficking.

(ooops. my bad. i just forgot i was supposed to go to court.
oh and i forgot that drug trafficking is bad.
drugs=jail. sorry, man.)

apparently the guy they were looking for is in Ethiopia. not deported, just there. they don't know any more than that.

meanwhile the entire time, i'm on the phone with Husband, with my eye firmly stuck to our peephole, deciding if it was safe to leave. Husband wanted me to wait till they left, but as we all know, the wheels of justice turn slow.
it seemed safe. no guns were drawn, so i'm leaving, opening the door carefully and making sure the officers knew i was there.

these guys have always been quiet...but isn't it the quiet ones you gotta watch?

"yeah, we never saw much of them, but they wuz good peoples. i didn' kno' that they kilt everyone in da house."

and i had planned on getting coffee on my way to work. don't need it now.

who says the OC is dull?

this n' that...

stupid things you think of when you wake up at 3:45. unintentionally.

• my downstairs neighbor is convinced we are rebuilding a motorcycle in here. seriously. please. if you knew how these apartments are laid out, you'd know there was no room for such an undertaking.
• if you knew my Husband, you would know that such an undertaking would be accompanied by many foul words.
• prayers, please - my mom is having carpal tunnel surgery today.
• Husband's dinner last night was OK; but of course our Queen of the Complainers bitches immediately after dinner that her chicken was gristly. if there is something wrong with the food, it'll be her food. always. (Husband always asks how it can be that she has a boyfriend with as much whining as she does. i say because she doesn't do it around him. yet.)
• how can it be i go to sleep obsessed about babies (Queen of the Complainers is the auntie of the girl who just had the baby, who's shower i ditched.), but dream about hot sauce. Tabasco, specifically.

back to the baby...because i am completely obsessed...she has a sling on both her legs for the next three weeks. apparently she either was born or in vitro with her legs above her head, so this is to correct any issues she could have. eating like a piggley-wiggley, too. so, to allow her mom to eat (i got my dinner cooked first)and also to keep Queen C from, well, complain how she didn't get to finish her dinner while hot so she could take care of the baby. and yes, she would, too. i took the baby to feed her.

just when i think i've got the whole baby thing under control, i pick this kiddo up and it's all over with. again.

• BBQ today at work. i got myself involved (or really the Big Boss got me involved) on this committee designed by another manager to *ahem* design ways to have fun at work. not that i'm agin' having fun at work, but my main obsession now is ensuring that i retire from the dang place; not get laid off or any such thing.

back to the BBQ. this committee decided to come up with a BBQ for the publishing department. but the people on this committee are most unorganized. they will come up with an idea, then next week, change their minds on it.

case in point: the committee decided to have a July 4th centerpiece contest for each workgroup in publishing. then, all publishing employees would vote on their favorite. yesterday, we get an email from one committee member that she had asked four managers to be judges on all the centerpieces.

wait...what? did i miss something? and emailed that and what we had decided on. apparently some of the committee members decided that because some workgroups were larger than others, the voting would not be fair. so impartial judges were chosen.

but why not bring it up for the committee to discuss? why wait till the last minute then spring it on the rest of us? oh well. i have to laugh, because the leader of our group spends a lot of time in our meetings keeping the meeting "on track." especially when they start talking during the meetings. but somehow, we can't keep what's going on within the group on track. this is gonna be fun.

hmmm. i'm thinking the Queen of the Complainers may have an heir to the throne.

all hail Princess Whiny!!

whoda thunk it?

i'm excited about dinner tomorrow night. not tonight, but tomorrow.

and with the size my butt is, you'd think i'd be more excited about food every.damn.day.

but i'm not. tomorrow, however, is an exception.

we're going back here. yes, we just went for Husband's birthday. but when there, we saw a table card for an event they're having tomorrow night...a clambake.

holy freaking crustaceans, Batman!

being West Coasters, neither of us have been to a clambake. i'm not sure if it's actually in the restaurant, or in their courtyard outside, but in either case, this is gonna be fun.

unfortunately, it's been a week of really good eating. i made a pork tenderloin that was way super good...and if you're interested, here you go:
preheat oven to 375-400
get 1 pork tenderloin 1-2lbs
large ziplok bag - inside bag add 1tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp seasoned salt, 1 -2 tsps each dried basil and oregano. shake to combine.

put your tenderloin in and shake to coat.

next, take three strips of bacon and wrap around the tenderloin, secure with toothpicks if needed.
coat in olive oil, put in a foil lined 9x13 baking dish. bake at 375 for 45 or 400 for 60 minutes, or until internal temp reaches 155 and bacon is crispy.

remove from oven, wrap in foil and let rest for 10 minutes. eat 'em up. yum.

good food part two

one of our favorite, inexpensive and good places to eat is the Old Spaghetti Factory. regular readers may remember it as the site of Brendan's birthday party. one of our favorite dishes is their Browned Butter with Mizithra cheese. way, WAY yummy.

try this. cut up two sticks of butter and put in a saucepan. melt over low heat really slowly. once it begins to boil, stir constantly to prevent residue from sticking to the bottom of the pan.

As the butter cooks, it will start to foam and rise. Continue stirring, otherwise the butter foam could overflow (about 5 minutes) and catch fire. Once the butter stops foaming and rising, cook until amber in color (about 1 to 2 minutes). It will have a pleasant caramel aroma.

Turn off the heat and remove pan from burner. Let the sediment settle to the bottom of the pan for a few minutes. Pour the brown butter through a strainer into a small bowl. Do not disturb the residue at the bottom of the pan.
The brown butter can be stored in the refrigerator and reheated in a microwave as needed.

Boil the pasta of choice until Al Dente. Drain pasta and divide into four servings. Spread 1/4 cup of Mizithra over each pasta serving. Top with 1/4 cup of hot brown butter. (actually i do it the other way, butter first, then cheese. if you can't find Mizithra, which is a hard Greek cheese, you can use a Romano blend...it'll almost be the same)

tonight: Husband's birthday finishes at our favorite Japanese restaurant. i must now cut coupons for dinner...local papers run a buy one, get one free up to $20 offer and with ten people coming, they do come in handy.

bon appetite!

this morning's conversation

the conversation started like this:

v: don't forget to get home early tonight. we have your birthday dinner with our dinner group tonight.

b: OK. *sigh*

v: what's wrong?

b: well, i just wish you had gotten me up earlier.

v: me gotten you up early? don't you have an alarm clock? that works??

b: heh-heh-heh-heh.

dang. 47 years old and i gotta get him up for work.

a love story, of sorts.

this is a tale of my first real love.

before Brendan. before Kent. before David Hunter and Donny Osmond or even Shaun Cassidy.

there was baseball.

baseball. America's pastime. the brainchild of Abner Doubleday. the evil stepchild of cricket.

and my first real love.

back in the day, after the sperm donor had passed me by, there was my Uncle Jimmy. the man i still consider to be my dad. a tall fellah, with a friar's fringe and glasses, he was the coolest man alive...before Alzheimer's stole him from me before his body had passed.

and a baseball fanatic.

growing up in Long Beach, we lived not too far from Blair Field. it was across the street from my future high school, and where not only Cal State Long Beach would play, but also a AAA team.

we would go every Saturday.

there never were a lot of people there. on a good day, maybe a hundred in a stadium that seated at least 500. but we were there, soaking the game in. and when i was bored (which could happen when you're five), i could run up and down the bleacher stairs as much as i wanted.

by myself.

freedom.

one of the best parts of the day was getting dinner. or lunch. always a hot dog. Cracker Jack (c'mon. it is baseball, y'know). beer for him, Fresca for me.

Fresca? when you're five? it goes like this: i never liked Coke as a kid. my drinks were root beer or 7Up. Fresca was the next best thing. even though i positively HATED the taste, it was still something to drink.

and, like i said, Uncle Jimmy would usually have a beer, much to my chagrin. i was an extremist child. i was convinced that if you drank beer, you were an alcoholic.

not the most giving. i saw things in black and white. no gray for me.

regardless, it was one of the best parts of my week.

so why bring it up?

at the grocery store today, they had a little box next to the change dispenser. in it was a pocket calendar schedule for the Long Beach Armada...the new name of the AAA team in Long Beach that i still think is managed by my favorite retired Dodger, Steve Yeager. (no relation to Chuck. i think.)

suddenly i was five years old again, and totally excited about spending a Saturday afternoon with my daddy.

he inspired me. not only for baseball, but to chase dreams. and even though i lost that wonder as a part of my every-day life, it still shows up now and then...to reclaim me as its own.

true love, my friends, never dies.

be not offended.

but get ready for a good giggle or two. these came courtesy of the Darling Husband's email.

it's called: Buttons You Can't Wear at Work.

• If We Are What We Eat, Then I'm Fast, Cheap & Easy
• Rest Assured, No One Gives a Crap What You Think.
• Ask Me About My Ability to Completely Annoy Strangers!
• I See You're Playing Stupid Again...And Winning.
• Don't Make Me Go Psycho On Your Ass!
• Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box Now Are We?
• Damn Right I'm Good In Bed - I Can Sleep For Days.
• I'm Still Hot, It Just Comes In Flashes Now.
• Well - Aren't We Just the Little Freak of Nature?
• I'm Smiling. That Alone Should Scare You.
• A Few Clowns Short of a Circus Now Are We?
• Being a Crabby Bitch is Part of My Charm (my personal mantra)

and my very, very favorite...

• Back to your bridge, Evil Troll! You have no power here!!

just something to think of.

changing the subject!

kindly shared by our Sue, a meme about books...one of my favorite subjects!
i've been reading since i was four. some relatives say since i was two, but even i don't think i was that precocious.

not for reading, anyway.

Hardback or paperback? depends - i love hardbacks for first issues. but budget wise, the paperback is a better deal. most of the time.

Buy on line or in a store?
i can so spend hours in a bookstore, looking at different books, thumbing through them, but never, ever reading them. if i'm going to read them, i'm doing it after i purchased. same with magazines.

Favorite bookstore?
growing up, there was a book store i would walk to called Book Emporium..what i absolutely loved was their biography section - which still happens to be my favorite. i love a good bio.
why? because i'm nosey - haven't you figured that out yet?

Bookmark or dog ear?
bookmark? blaspheme!! never, ever. nor do i ever bend the spine back on a book. i see people do that and it's like my Styrofoam thing. pure torture.

Keep, throw away, or sell?
i've only tossed when i have literally destroyed the book. i've sold some, but a lot go to hospitals.

Short story or novel?
depends. a lot of times, short stories are kind of a tease. i'd rather read more and more and more...

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?
i fall asleep often reading. i love it.

New or used?
usually new. i'm spoiled.

Morning, afternoon or nighttime reading?
nighttime. i'm too involved to be reading before work...or at work.

Stand Alone or Series?
not a lot of series books makes their way into my library...and not a lot of bios are series, either. oh well...

Favorite Series?
love Harry Potter, but i need to get to back into 'em. the Little House series was amazing to me, as was Nancy Drew. even the Princess Diaries series are cool.
hmmm. i see a pattern - lotsa kids books!

Favorite Books Read Last Year?
a bio on the actress who played Lisle in the Sound of Music movies, bios from Chuck Jones (yes, the Looney Tunes director), Wicked - but that was a hard, hard read.

On your “to read” pile right now?
the diaries of Ronald Reagan. what an amazing writer...whether or not you agreed with his stance or politics!

Favorite books of all time?
do i have to list just one? there's so many i go back to over and over...it's like revisiting an old friend. you're comfortable but can still find something new.

your turn. tell me what your favorite is and if you want to try this meme.

3, 2, 1 - blast off...

3 THINGS I DO DAILY…
1. shower & wash hair
2. perfume & deodorant
3. check that the zipper is up

2 THINGS I AM TRYING TO ACHIEVE RIGHT NOW…
1. reconcile to not being a mom
2. nirvana. naaaaah, not really. but balance would be good.

1 THING I AM TRYING TO CHANGE…
1. lately my attitude sucky-suck-sucks.


my attitude.
yeah, that's a good one.

this whole week has been, how should i say it...stressful? angry? pissy?

is there such a thing as post pms? 'cuz if there is, i'm confident i've got it. in bucketloads.

i don't know how it happened. how i got so cranky...so angry.

once i thought it was connected to the whole infertility thing...and it still could be.
a therapist told me i had grief issues dealing with infertility. but all the talking didn't seem to make a difference in how i felt.

i don't like issues.
i don't like being angry.
i don't know how to fix it.
and i know i really can't - it's not up to me.

and that frustrates me even more.