almost forgot!

(sorry for the flash brightness...)

i bought myself a bit of a kicky spring bouquet today. i decided i was tired on waiting for Husband to 'surprise' me, and since i am responsible for my own happiness (flowers = happy), i decided to surprise myself.

Husband was surprised too, especially when i told him they certainly were NOT for my mother.

(and before you say Bad Daughter, i did buy her her own bouquet)

flowers make me happy. almost as happy as a coconut cream pie with graham cracker crust.

(and Susie, that is your bear nestled to le posies)

more weird stuff in my in box...

and the hits just keep on coming. here's the amazingly titled gems for Botox or stock suggestions or penile implants that showed up in my email today.

maybe if i got the implant & Botox my stock would go up...literally & figuratively.oh well.

check out this one from Dickson Jane:
Howard asked Cindy if her ass looks as good in person as in the layout.

sheesh, Howard, what do you think? EVERYTHING is retouched.

or these tow from Luanne & Gabrielle, respectively:
revoke and periphrastic
(perry....perryphas....oh the heck with it. it means roundabout.)

dextrose & elution
(elution means to dissolve. in my case into uncontrollable laughter. apparently Gabrielle wants me to make some sugar water tea. SO not gonna happen.)

and Linda wants me to "Just try and convince this quality means and methods."
suuuuuure i will. just as soon as you convince me that you're not talking about the aforementioned Botox, penile implants or stock suggestions.

and although they are a pain, and clutter up my Bulk folder in my email. they do give me a good laugh. first at the horrible, horrible English, then at the absurd notion that i would actually open the bloody thing.

then i stop and consider the possibility that these weren't written by someone in some third-world country.
they could've been written by people i graduated with from high school. let's face it, they weren't too bright there...some were voted Most Likely to be Your Baby's Daddy and even Best Crack Ho.

so let's hear it for higher education. and for "naacp than exhumation, " courtesy of Tamaka.

thanks, Tamaka. you really made me think.

per Steff's request...

five interview questions, courtesy of Steff.

1. What scrapbook item/tool could you not live without?
stamps. i so love stamps lately it's disgusting. 'course, if i don't have paper, then i guess i'd be stamping myself.
and wouldn't that be pretty.

2. Be honest...do you wash your hands every single time you go to the restroom?
yep. in fact, after drying my hands, i use the towel to open the door of the restroom at work/restaurants, etc because of those that DON'T wash.

3. What is the one thing that makes your mouth water just thinking about it?
BBQ steaks. yum-o!! i'm such a carnavore.

4. When you're intimate with your husband, where is the one spot you go absolutely crazy when he touches?
my belly button. and not in a GOOD way. i HATE having my belly button touched.

5. In the shower, what is the first thing you wash?
my hair. always the hair. don't know why, it's just something i've always done.

the continuing misadventures of a dork.

don't ask me why i'm such a glutton for punishment, but after grocery shopping today (and i know, Maureen...mine is NOTHING compared to what you go through), i decided to do laundry.

at.the.complex.

why? because i am the daughter of the Marquis de Sade.

and since i had rummaged enough quarters to make my coin jar at work lighter, i thought no time like the present.

'sides, if i do my chores now, i can play this weekend. i have no idea what to play. just play.

the Husband hasn't done laundry since i was in Reno, not that i'm surprised, but, a girl can dream.
besides, i thought (as part of my new attitude)that only i am responsible for my own happiness.

oh, and my own laundry.
again, offspring of M. de Sade, doing laundry makes me happy.
a sense of accomplishment. a feeling of "well done thou good & faithful servant."

i realized that to get across the complex, hauling a laundry basket AND the rolling cart that contains our laundry supplies, would be nigh on impossible. so i used my brain (?!) and hauled down this contraption the Husband created..a dolly with a sheet of plywood across it. (see, the bars are movable, so it can be used as a dolly or as a flatbed.)

as such, i can s-l-o-w-l-y w-a-l-k d-o-w-n t-h-e s-t-a-i-r-s carrying said laundry and cart. after hauling the flatbed down the stairs, of course.
now i am ready to meander across the complex to get some laundry done.

oh, won't the Husband be surprised when he comes home to find dinner AND laundry completed? why, perhaps the man will take me out for a steak dinner! or buy me some lovely bauble! or put the toilet seat down!!

hey. it's my fantasy. let me live it.

as i entertain such thoughts and arrive at my destination, i find my prayers have been answered: no one is doing laundry (with only four washers & dryers for a 50 unit complex, well...you see how lame it is).

wait...what's that notice on the door?

"LAUNDRY FACILITY IS FOR TENANTS OF PINECRAP, ER, PINECREST ONLY. USE YOUR GATE KEY TO ENTER. LOCK DOOR BEHIND YOU - PROTECT YOUR GOODS."

i.do.not.have.gate.key. it.is.upstairs.in.my.purse.

so i leave my goods, and trot my fat arse back upstairs to fetch my key, trot down said stairs (tell me why again the Husband insisted we get an upstairs apartment?)and across to the room where thankfully my dirty clothes are still there unmolested.

because you know how tempting dirty chonies are.

i have already sorted, so while the washers fill, i add soap and realize: i've left the Downey balls upstairs.

well, to hell with it. we have Bounce sheets. if the Husband complains his chonies are scratchy, i will smile my sweetest and tell him to scratch 'em, then.

Gentle Reader - while i am a huge advocate of being responsible for one's individual happiness, i have decided that perhaps it cannot be found while doing laundry.

it can, however, most likely be found in a Reese's Peanut Butter cup. or a yummy slice of coconut cream pie.

it's rough being so responsible.

i know what's good for America.

and i'm not even running for office.

wrap your mind around these little tidbits, if you will. and if elected, i promise a chicken in every pot. or a politician in every pot. i forget which is better.

• American Idol: perhaps you need to rethink your voting policies? come on, when a guy who's super cute (Sanjay, i'm talkin' to you) but his voice isn't that strong keeps getting on week after week? come on.
• limit anyone running for office to only being able to raise $1000 limit for their campaign. OR....if they have to earn as much as they do, then make them match dollar for dollar donations to people out there actually doing good. or better: create a national health care system for everyone who has none.
• Dancing with the Stars: come on. are ratings sooo low that you hire Heather Mills notMcCartney just so everyone will tune in to see if her leg flies off? look, i've got a great idea that not only will boost your ratings, BUT do something good for the America media: hire all the schmucks...er, gentlemen claiming to be Anna Nicole's baby's daddy. the winner gets the baby BUT has to donate all that money to the aforementioned national health care system. nuff said.
• attention all fashion magazines & designers of womens clothing: how 'bout making the standard sizes in all stores, from Nordstroms to Target go up to 18? since the average American woman wears a 14-18, wouldn't it make more sense? think of the millions of women you would make friends with, instead of alienate? not to mention open up the opportunities for shopping we would have.

oh yeah, and i'd also make more leg & bum room on airplanes, lower taxes, legalize something, more rights for women, blah, blah, blah.

vote valerie 2008.

now THAT'S funny.

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of it's valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"SCRIPTURE?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an AX and Two 38's!"

i shoulda stood in bed.

but i'm not complaining. that would be anti-bracelet.

and remember: if you want one, just email me. i'll send you one.

things are weird at work. not bad, just weird.
my boss's wife is 7.5 months pregnant with their third kid. she's had 7.5 months of morning sickness.

oh, and they homeschool their kids, so she doesn't even get a break by sending them to school.

hey, i've never been pregnant, but have had enough stomach issues and nausa to know that it sucks big time.

no pun intended.

needless to say, the boss is a little distracted.

we got rid of a proofreader in our department. we now have one proofer (who is a contractor, believe it or not) full time and are rotating the designers in our department to help prove.

(that would be proof, not prove. apparently i need a proofer here.)

and we're slammed busy. probably gonna stay this way until after summer.

but being busy is better than being unemployed. i keep telling myself that.

in other news....

over the weekend, i got (or did we get? not sure) a Christmas present from my friend & his wife (remember the clock?) - a SHAG map of Disneyland.

it.is.so.cool. i'll post a picture when i can get one without the flash reflecting off the glass.

i have the muse of creativity living here. i just need to make time for her. living here.
or at least in my craft (read: crap) corner.

now tis time for a small piece of coconut cream pie. happy hump day.

social experiment day two.

nothing new to report...
but if you would like a bracelet, email me @ sweeteepi172001@yahoo.com

and it's hard to not complain.

the great social experiment begins

they say it takes 21 days to make a habit.

21 days.

nearly a month.

you can do a lot of things in a month.

i'm gonna try to not complain.

or gossip.

and try to be a better person.

wanna join me?

i'm modeling the latest in self-improvement...courtesy of acomplaintfreeworld.org

here's how it works, in a nutshell (and if you don't want to click the link above) - you wear it for 21 days on either wrist. you try to not complain or gossip. and if you do, it's OK, because everyone does.

if you fall off the kvetching wagon, just switch your bracelet to the other wrist and start over.

i have 20 bracelets. they're free. post here iffn' you'd like to try this with me.

and we can make side bets on how long (or quick) it'll take me to fall off the wagon.

no foolin'

i think it's good to be home.
naah. it's good.

uneventful flight home...well, except for the "dip" the pilot hit on the way home. we did a quarter-turn, then as everyone whooped, the pilot got on the intercom.

that's it...i thought. calm my butt down.

"ooops, " he said.

ooops? ooops?! ain't nothing ooops about that.

a fine time had by all - good to see the sister in law & familia...cousin Marlen from Ireland...heck, it was even good to see the dogs.

and it snowed. but i already covered that.
and i came home to a new TV for the bedroom.

i guess the Husband missed me.

then my friend Mark came down this weekend with his wife...yesterday we all headed up to the Reagan museum..absolutely amazing. then to walk into a room and see a retired AirForce One...wow.
then this a.m. they, us, and my parents met up for breakfast at the always faboo Original Pancake House..ya gotta love German pancakes..with fresh lemon wedges to squeeze and then sprinkle with powdered sugar.

yumo.

but now, i wish i had one more day off. the Muse is courting at my door and i feel the need..the need to create.

but in the meantime i have over 200 freakin' photos to go through. modify. and print.