positives and negatives.

i have always been a 'glass is half full' kind of girl. not in a Pollyanna kind of way, but in a things-aren't-as-bad-as-it-seems-so-suck-it-up-sunshine-kind of way.

most days it works. some days not so much.

take for example, this Saturday. i'm taking photos at my hair girl's baby's first birthday party. now, while i'm positive i won't choke too badly, i'm still kind of nervous about the whole thing.

and for every 'what ifs...' my brain comes up with, the glass half full part of my brain counters and tries to slap the what ifs into submission.

not as easy as it seems.

Eeyore brain says: oh, CRAP. what if i run out of battery juice? the battery is rechargeable, so not like you can bring a gazillion Duracells.

better part of my brain says: get over it. you'll charge before you go, and remember? you finally got those additional batteries from eBay. they can be charged and ready to go.

Eeyore: OK, well...what about the memory card? you're gonna run out of memory and THEN what are you gonna do?

better part: i have an 8 gig memory card, and there are still over a 1000 photos that can fit. i'll clear off what's on it now, clear space and have oodles of space for photos.

Eeyore: well...um....what if you take a bunch of photos of your fingers, like you used to?

better part: i was 10 years old. it was a pocket camera (remember those?). this is a bigger camera, it has a lens and it's digital. even if you stick your bum in the pictures, you can see it afterwards and delete it.

Eeyore: yeah? well, what if you get hit with a meteor? whatreya gonna do then, smart girl?

better part: (shakes head) we've not had a rash of meteor strikes here in the OC. i think we're done here.

i think you get the idea...and while most of the time it doesn't happen quite like that, still...i have arguments with myself from time to time.

i just want to do a good job - and have everyone like me.

easy, no?

in other news...

no updates really on the job search. he's been going back and forth with one guy here, and while it looks better and better, there's still no job offer.

we just both want it over. and i want him working.

turning to sports....

last Saturday was our photo classes field trip, out in Norco; a urban/country town about 40 minutes from us. lotsa horses, lotsa houses on large lots.

the farm we went to wasn't. no cows, no chickens, no horses. the owners are friends of my instructor, in their 80s and don't work the land. the missus is currently in the hospital recovering from West Nile Virus. pretty good for 80.

we had some models. i had a model of my own. and some doggies that just wanted to play.

my instructor & his wife.

best looking fella there.

coming up: Paramount Studios and a first birthday party.

psyche.

well, he's back, but he's back here.

apparently he forgot the password for the original, made a new one, found the password and merged everything back together.

boys. whatcha gonna do.

11 years ago.

at about this time, 11 years ago -
* i was getting my hair sprayed and clipped and formed into an up-do.
* the Cutest Girl in Hesperia was in a green robe, ready for her turn.
* it was beyond windy. (my hair did not move)
* i laughed at a young man, nervous because he had to play the bagpipes. come on, dude - have you noticed i'm in a dang wedding dress?

oh - did i give it away?

11 years ago - we said we would. and we have. for better or worse, sickness and health and all the rest.

and if i had been on top of my game, i would have written vows like this:
i (your name here) promise to love you through fat times and unemployment. through loss of family and the gains, too.

through heartbreak and happiness. i promise to love you when you flub up and when you don't clean up after yourself.

i can't always promise to like you, but i will always love you.

i will always love you, even when you are having a breakdown - as long as you promise to love me, too, especially when i'm PMS-ing and i beg you to perform a hysterectomy on me.

i will always love you when you take three hours to do an oil change.

i will love you when you have no concept of time and we end up being late.

i will love you when you roll your eyes at my obsessions with Donny, photography, scrapbooking and whatever else i'm in to.

i love you, baby. thanks for eleven interesting years. here's to the rest of our lives together.

stalkers - take your marks!

well, lookit who's back in the blogging world.

'bout time, too.

please adjust your links accordingly.

it's all becoming clear to me.

looking back, it's no wonder i am the way i am.
crazy that is.

i've told tales before of life with Crazy Auntie Kay. how she would tell me that if i would just press against my two front teeth, they would straighten out nicely and i would have no need for braces. my teeth would look just like hers.

and i did that, faithfully...for a few months. then i found out something.

Auntie Kay wore dentures. of course her teeth were perfect.

it's crap like that that stays with you for a long, long time.

take, for example, Exhibit A.

this morning, i was driving to work, when i passed a box on the side of the road. nothing unusual in that, except that immediately i heard Auntie Kay.

"when you start driving," (said when i was a teenager, before my license) "and you see a box in the road, don't you EVER drive over it."

ok, i'll bite. why?

"because people will put their unwanted babies in the box and leave it in the road so someone will drive over it and kill their baby."

OMG. you SO did not just say that.
wait...rerun tape...oh yeah, you DID just say that.

and she really did believe that. just as she believed that my mom could not willingly have sex as an unmarried woman. she HAD to have been raped.

oh yeah. she did. to the day she died, she was convinced my mom had been forced upon.

and so, some 30 years later, i see a box in the road and freak out...before i remember that the odds of that happening are as good as us winning the lotto.

the lotto, however, while it would still freak me out, would be FAR more FUN than...well, you know.

tune in next week for the newest episode of "It's Not My Parents That Screwed Me Up, It Was the Other Members of My Family."

presented without commercial interruption!

oh, Magoo...you've done it again.

and dang it, if you have to ask who Magoo is, you ARE young.

get out.

kidding!




yesterday i went to my hair appointment. and before you start yawning, trust me. there is a point to my story.

really. i'm not just rewording my daily planner.

and while i'm leaned back in the shampoo bowl, my stylist (i know - it sounds Hollywood, but i can't stand the word hairdresser. don't ask me why.) says, 'hey, i have a proposition for you.'

well - i'm laying on my back and you've got a hose full of water. if i say no, i'll be drowned. i'm good with whatever you say.

'i was wondering,' she said, 'what you were doing November 1st?'

nothing, i say. i'm pretty sure my calendar's clear.

'well,' she says, 'maybe you would be willing to come over to my daughter's first birthday party and take pictures for me. if you would, i would comp today's services.'

wait....what?

look, i say, i'll be more than happy to take pictures for you. i'd love to, i'd love the practice and all but please let me pay for today.

'nope. that's the deal. you don't take pictures, you pay for the cut.'

that went on for a few minutes. finally i caved.

and now i have non-buyers remorse.

what the heck was i thinking? taking pictures of someone's child? and their first birthday party to boot?

i get lucky sometimes with the camera. and my ego gets all that, and thinks it can do anything.

now, i guess i gotta prove it.




in other news....

Brendan started up with a service called Job by Fax - for x amount, they will fax his resume to all the companies in the categories he picks. he joined up on Thursday.

on Friday he got four calls. one want to see him Monday.

this could rock.

i'd be oh so happy if this pays off. fingers crossed, kids. prayers sent. no goats, though.

we've got standards y'know.

oh boy.

the Husband got cut loose from the sleep study early yesterday and wasn't too happy.

not about getting cut loose, but about the results. turns out he has sleep apnea, and they want him on a C-PAP machine. i'm hoping insurance covers it, because if it doesn't, i told him he just may have to die in his sleep.

SO kidding.

at the hospital, (which he said was more like a hotel room) he was probed, prodded and hooked up to electrodes from head to feet. the worse part, was the goo they attached the probes to on his head...he kept washing his hair over and over after he got home to get the goo out.

then there was the fact that he couldn't sleep. well...he could sleep, but when he would pause in his breathing, the nurse would come in and wake him, taking vitals and such.

it reminds me of being in the hospital...you can't get any rest because the nurses are in every hour or so taking your temperature, blood pressure and asking how you're sleeping...which i know they have to do, it's just ironic that you need to rest to heal but can't.

they fitted him last night with the 3 Bears of CPAPs. one was too tight (claustrophobic), one was too weird (tubes in his nose, felt freaky) and the other was just right...well, as right as something over your face is gonna feel.

now that work calmed down somewhat, for me anyway (i was covering for one of my teammates who had a dozen ants in her house and lost her mind...but that's another post. maybe. i stayed until 6:30 pm Tuesday and missed my photo class, came in @ 6am yesterday and stayed until 4:30) i can satisfy my control freak issues and do some research on this whole thing...and see if i can hear the radio commercial again, where the local news sportscaster had used the CPAP, but went to something else.

being a control freak is fun.



in other news....

my 14 year old self is coming out to play and should be in full force by Friday.

i'm seeing the Osmonds.

ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

a friend i work with, who is another Osmond freak, got the tickets. i don't remember if i was here with y'all when we got tickets to see Donny @ the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts. totally cool. totally fun. totally hysterical to see an auditorium filled with mostly pre/post menopausal women, acting like they were teenagers again.

not me. i never was a screamer - sorry. and yes, you can read into that whatever you want.

so Friday, it's back to Cerritos to see Wayne, Merrill, Jay & Jimmy. it'd be totally cool if Donny would make a surprise appearance, but i'm not holding my breath, since he & Marie are doing a show in Vegas.

what's funny is, while my friend and i both like Donny, she actually liked Jay better. now that we're both (sort of) grown up, we're both thinking that Jimmy was the one we should've liked.
even though he was a butterball as a kid, he was starting businesses at the age of 13 and turning in tax returns.

he's been doing a lot of different businesses since. real estate. marketing. performing. i think that, even when the Osmonds lost most all of their money in the 80s, he was the only one not in financial trouble.

dagnabbit. mom was right - always go for the smart one.
i hate it when she's right.

rock on, Sleeping Beauty.

the Husband spent the night Tuesday night at the hospital.

no worries. he's not sick, and no, i didn't smack him in the back of the head with a frying pan.

not that the thought hasn't crossed my mind occasionally.

he's always been a bad sleeper and B's doctor decided to sign him up for a sleep study. thank heavens. the man never has slept well, usually waking up in the middle of the night, and, comes out to eventually fall asleep again in our recliner. with the TV on.

at least here, perhaps they can do something to help. although, i know i'll be hearing about it, especially if it involves one more med for him to take. and, of course, the other scenario is that last night was his best night's sleep ever.

talk about irony. especially if you consider i've been up since 2:45.
maybe i should be there, too.


in other news...

i had decided i wasn't going to bitc....er, complain any more about work...at least for awhile. i'm still working and i'm blessed. i know it.

but...

yesterday was a bad day at Black Rock. my group was short a person...due to an ant invasion at her house. (and the scary thing is, there only was about a dozen or so...according to her neighbor and my friend)

so i got pulled off of my temporary query coordinator post and back on the incomplete reports. with lots of books going to the printer, we were hopping. then, @ 3:45 yesterday afternoon, the paging supervisor came over and wanted to know if we were going to be complete on the El Paso, TX book.

um, excuse me? you sent out a paging schedule for the day with the book broken down into four sections and now you want to send the whole thing in one shot?? and you ask this an hour and 15 minutes before the book is due?

oh good grief.

it turns out that this is one of those books that is published in full size AND a mini size. it involves reducing the size at the printer. OK. we forgot. but duuuude. remind us of that earlier in the day.

ready to start running around insanely? GO!

we, the supervisors, myself and another lead, ended up staying until 6:30 last night. and we weren't done with the book. heck, how could we? we had no ad designers left in house, our vendors weren't responding to my many desperate emails.

so today doesn't bode well for paging success as well, which is why i woke up @ 2:45...i honestly cannot remember if i emailed on EVERYTHING paging today or not.

then came the bloody nose.

i'm sitting here, freaking myself out that i haven't emailed, when i think my nose is running.
looking down on the blanket i wrapped around me, i find i am wrong.

so now i'm tired, stressed AND i have a bloody paper towel i need to get rid of before CSI starts investigating.

man. i wonder if i can get in on that sleep study.

never mess with a fat girl's dessert meme.

thanks Linda!

A sweet meme


1) Copy this list into your site, including the instructions!
2) Bold all of the sweets you've eaten--or make them a different type color.
3) Cross out any of them that you'd never ever eat.
4) Consider anything that is not bold or crossed out your "To Do" List.
5) Optional: Post a comment here linking to your results--or just post a comment letting us know how many you've tried, or what you're going to try next!

1. Red Velvet Cake yes. weird. cake should not be red.
2. Princess Torte
3. Whoopie Pie i've made these for a friend's birthday
4. Apple Pie either topped or baked with sharp cheddar (there's a pie shop here that has as a motto - An Apple Pie Without Some Cheese is Like a Kiss Without a Squeeze. whatever. i'm not eating those together)
5. Beignet ohgoodygoodygoodygoody!!!
6. Baklava
7. Black and white cookie
8. Seven Layer Bar
9. Fried Fruit pie
10. Just-fried (still hot) doughnut oh Krispy Kreme, i miss ye.
11. Scone with clotted cream sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
12. Betty, Grunt, Slump, Buckle or Pandowdy - yep. good stuff there.
13. Halvah or Turkish Delight - Crazy Aunty Kay LIVED for Halvah.
14. Macaroons - Disneyland makes the bestst ones, drizzled with a little chocolate...
15. Banana pudding with nilla wafers
16. Bubble tea (with tapioca "pearls") (my friend Mellie LOVES that stuff)
17. Rice Krispie treats - da bomb!
18. Alfajores
19. Blondies
20. Croquembouche
21. Girl Scout cookies love the Samoas & the peanut butter creme ones.
22. Moon cake
23. Candy Apple -nope. don't like 'em at all. caramel apples rule, however.
24. Baked Alaska on our cruise. about 15 waiters paraded in with them, all a-fire.
25. Brooklyn Egg Cream - not sure if it's Brooklyn, but i have had egg custard. is it the same thing?
26. Nanaimo bar
27. Baba au rhum
28. King Cake
29. Sachertorte
30. Pavlova
31. Tres Leches Cake - and have made it and it is the freaking BEST.
32. Shoofly Pie
33. Key Lime Pie (made with real key lime) - love that sweet tart taste!
34. Panna Cotta
35. New York Cheesecake - yum!
36. Napoleon / mille-fueille
37. Russian Tea Cake / Mexican Wedding Cake
38. Anzac biscuits
39. Pizzelle
40. Kolache
41. Buckeyes
42. Malasadas
43. Moon Pie
44. Dutch Baby - really easy to make. and the bomb to eat!
45. Boston Cream Pie
46. Homemade chocolate chip cookies - heck, i don't wanna eat 'em once they cool down.
47. Pralines
48. Gooey butter cake
49. Rusks
50. Daifuku
51. Green tea cake or cookies'
52. Cupcakes from a cupcake shop
53. Crème brûlée - OMG. that's all i can say. i can't even type, i've drooled all over the keyboard
54. Some sort of deep fried fair dessert food - i always love the funnel cake@ Knott's - but this year was the first time i had a fried twinkie...not bad!
55. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting - the Husband's favorite!
56. Jelly Roll - i've made a Yule Log cake, same idea.
57. Pop Tarts - chocolate fudge rules!
58. Charlotte Russe
59. An "upside down" dessert (Pineapple upside down cake or Tarte Tatin) my step-pop's favorite...i still make it for him.
60. Hummingbird Cake
61. Jell-O from a mold (and even jello cake!)
62. Black Forest Cake
63. Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie).
64. Kulfi
65. Linzer torte
66. Churro
67. Stollen
68. Angel Food Cake
69. Mincemeat pie...bleeeeccccchhhhhh
70. Concha
71. Opera Cake
72. Lobster tail
73. Pain au chocolat/Chocolate Crossaint
74. A piece of Gingerbread House
75. Cassata
76. Cannoli
77. Rainbow cookies
78. Religieuse/eclair
79. Petits fours
80. Chocolate Souffle - there's a restaurant up in L.A. i went to once that makes the best.ever.
81. Bienenstich (Bee Sting Cake)
82. Rugelach
83. Hamenstashen
84. Homemade marshmallows
85. Pie or cake made with candy bar flavors (Snickers pie, Reeses pie, etc)
86. Divinity
87. Coke or Cola cake
88. Gateau Basque
89. Figgy Pudding
90. Bananas foster
91. Joe Froggers
92. Sables
93. Shortbread
94. Animal crackers
95. Basbousa

the nose...knows.

at one time, it was 'what's that in your nose?'
now - it's 'hey - what happened to your nose?'

i have a divot in my nose. and there's no way anyone is gonna stick one back in it.

last week - sometime during the night, i pulled a blanket over my head.
i'm very good at that.

somehow, someway...my head stayed left, while the blanket went right...around the nose stud and pulled it right out.

did i feel it? yep. did it hurt? nope. it did wake me up enough to feel up my own nose, but my sleep-addled brain said heck yeah, your Symbol of Rebellion is still there.

the mirror the next morning told the true story. it was gone. with only memories left behind.

so it's the end of an era. i'm not getting it re-pierced. i did it, i had fun with it, but its time has passed.

and it didn't even hurt.

maybe i should call it random bitching.

except that i promised
myself that i wouldn't complain about...that place.

for today at least.

i keep thinking about going on vacation. we haven't been on one since my back surgery and dang would it be killer to go on one.

we've been on some fun ones. DisneyWorld. Arizona. Michagan.

we've done road trips, gone to wineries and of course visited friends and family.

and of course, the places i'd like to see grows. call it a bucket list.

*Ireland
(well, duh.)
*England
*Canada (we were going to Victoria, BC for our honeymoon, until someone told me that it rains in October. silly me, i don't want to stay inside all the time for our honeymoon. Sedona it is!)
*Hawaii
*Japan
*Texas (well, at least more than i did see)
*Colorado, Wyoming, Montana (i just so want to be someplace where there's wide open spaces, blue skies and, dare i say, buffalo.)
*Maine
*Georgia (no, not so i can stalk Alton Brown)
*Utah (and no, not so i can stalk Donny)
*Australia (but i think first i'll need to be drugged before the dang flight)

i never traveled as a kid. but now, as an overgrown kid, i just want to go and go and go. but i guess i need money first.

could there be a lotto winning in my immediate future? man i hope so.

on the next day...

after the fun and frivolity of Monday, came Tuesday.

with Tuesday came more fun.

daily, we have an 8:30 meeting where we talk about what's paging that day, how many are incomplete and waiting and how we can meet our schedules. and dang near every meeting, the waiting tables team (after sales sells an ad for the phone book, it gets processed so they can get paid, then it comes into 'waiting' and has to be installed into the graphics computer system before we can create the ad...or send it to the overseas vendor.), when asked how they look for the waiting numbers give blank stares.

or better yet - say they can get 'em cleared, but they don't know who to contact.

really? you've been doing this job for how many years?

and then, when they do get their reports cleared, they are practically carried around on shoulders and strewn with praises.

i get asked if i'm doing my job.

bitter? you bet. i've been at this place for over 20 years. i've survived a merger, a spin-off and countless layoffs. i've been doing this job for at least five years, maybe more.

don't ask if i know how to do my job. ask the other guys.

but yesterday, after our status meeting, one of my compadres stopped me, and started talking to our supervisor and i. Gentle Reader, she let it all hang out - which is nothing new, she is good at ranting.

i'm good, but not that good. my problem is i get so wound up, i start crying. that ticks me off, because i feel that, sometimes with men, they just look at a frustrated crying woman as a crying woman. just emotional. and since our supervisor is a man, well...you can do the math.

my compadre, however, had no such emotional baggage. she laid it all out, how wrong it all is - how can we work any harder than we are, how, what, why...

45 minutes worth.
she does like to talk. pray she never runs for office.

our supervisor is frustrated, too - no one knows what to do.

a big saying around my work is, 'let it break so we can fix it.' well, it's broken. it needs fixing.

before i break.




in other news -

i took off early yesterday and the Husband and i skittled over to Knott's Berry Farm for a few hours. i got free tickets from a friend at work, and originally we planned to go on Sunday, but, being the weekend and all, Husband thought mid-week might be better.

oh yeah. much better. we walked on to rides that can run an hour wait...especially water rides on hot days.

and yesterday was a hot day.

there were water rides a-plenty. and it was goooooood.

the blisters, not so much.

i never get blisters...well, hardly ever - and yesterday, apparently my tender tootsies were a-suffering. we went to first aid and got bandaids to cover the spots.

didn't work.

when we left, i pulled off my shoes and felt instant relief.

the bummer is, it was sooooo hot yesterday, it was too hot to sleep. my bad knee was killing me. my blistered heels felt tender.

to quote the Stones, what a drag it is, getting old.

it was so hot last night, my bed felt like i was on top of an electric blanket-set on high. it's Fall, for gosh's sake. it should be cool. crisp. not freaking hot and sweaty. today will be no different.

ewwwwww.

but today is another day, Scarlett. i'm trying to change my attitude - maybe it'll help.

if not, it ought to make for another cranky-ass post.