Apr 24, 2008

how can you continue to speak with your foot in your mouth?

that, Gentle Reader, is the question of the day: how can you speak? how can you freaking verbalize words when not only your foot is in your mouth, but most of your damn leg??

and thank heavens, i speak not of me.

today, while i was listening to my fellow employees bitch, er....express their frustration over the contractors we have (they're taking all the work, no, they take all the easy work and leave the hard stuff.) and other stuff.

(the Queen Boss was hosting what we call a skip level - where we get together without our immediate supervisors and can talk about pretty much anything.)

but when one of them said how he goes online to see how much work everyone else puts in their queue, well, that pretty much did it for both of us.

hmmmmm...you've got time to do that, but bitch about how much work we ask you to output? whatever.

but - that's not what really did me in today.

my friend at work and i started on the same day. we've been there through each others marriages and her eventual divorce and the suicide of her ex. so, when she called me later today, not sure if she should laugh or cry, well, i'm there for her.

with a hammer to smack the crap out of someone.

you remember me telling you about the girl we work with who got her grandmother's condo, after all the nastiness she talked about her and the horrible way she treated her? well, she joined Weight Watchers last year and really has done wonderfully well.

however...that hasn't stopped her from bringing in her superfat clothes that she can't wear to my friend.

so today - when they were down at break, she says to my friend - 'those shoes sure make your feet look big. they just look so skinny but long.'

oh...thank you i think.

then she flipped out the big one. when one of the ladies we used to work with came in the cafeteria and stopped to say hello, this lady complimented this other girl on her weight loss, then turned to my friend and said (throwing me a bone, she said), 'you look great, too - have you been losing weight?'

my friend said no, not really. then, the newly skinny mouthy one said, 'she's not losing weight, she's just wearing clothes that aren't so damn baggy on her.'

you just can't make this crap up. meanwhile, my neck hurts from shaking my head.

so i'm now calling my friend HoboMellie, or She-of-the-ClownFeet.

keep your eyes open for news from California, kids. skinny minny is going to be the first EVER with Athletes Foot on her tongue.


Doug Bagley said...

some people don't have the sense God gave a goose. Skinny's self-esteem must be very low. What a -itch.

Melissa said...

If this were one of those LOL cat things, it would say "Mah filters. Let me show you them."

For real, though - some folks have no home trainin'.

Pat said...

Gaahck! May her tongue fungus extend all the way to her tonsils!

Tug said...

So um...athlete's foot in the mouth - that's got to be some new kind of appetite suppresant, doesn't it?


skrpndiva said...

That's just sad!

Susie Q said...

I can her done away with...I know people...really...I KNOW people.
I can have her put far away...far, far away.
And she will gain all the weight back and wear baggy clothes that have been laced with itching powder.
Let me know...

Love ya,