20 more days...

and i'll be another year older.

yup. the big 4-4.

it seems really weird to me. i remember thinking that someone, anyone in their 40's, were...well - old.

looks like i'm now a card-carrying member of that club.

i always loved birthdays..purely for selfish reasons...it's the one time in the year (unless you're a mom or a dad) where it's totally all about you. not the kids, not the dog. YOU.

ah, but (again for selfish reasons) lately, i'm not thrilled about my birthday. it's not about getting older. let's face it - it beats the alternative.

no - it's because (and remember: i'm selfish!) i don't get a party.

which really isn't that important..i think it's really because, at work and at home, i AM the social director. like most women, i plan, i execute, i have fun doing it!

but at work, i'm now the social director for a group i'm not even a part of. i coordinate their birthday lunches, cards...well - you get the idea.

so, no one will be planning a birthday lunch for me..unless i do one for myself.

remember: i'm having a pity party.

then i was reading Nora's blog, and seeing how her husband planned for over a year for her recent 40th birthday.

let's review these keywords: husband. planned. over a year.

my darling Hubbs can barely plan his breakfast, much less a party. he gets frustrated if the least little thing goes amiss. (and we know life never goes amiss - right?)

now again: i'm having a pity party.

i think the big underlying cause is that with each birthday that comes my way, the more it is driven home that there won't be any babies coming our way.

that's what sucks about birthdays. well, that and not having a party unless i plan my own.

what a drag it is getting old. just ask Keith Richards.