Am i middle aged yet?

...'cause i sure feel like it.

so Monday was my birthday, and i am officially 44.

hmmmmm....half way to 88.

it was OK. you know, when you were a kid, you wouldn't wait till your birthday. the one day of the year when it was all about you.

but....

this year, eh. dear Hubbs hates to plan anything, so we didn't have much to do. it just didn't go well.

* the breakfast place down by our Marina is where i wanted to go for breakfast. they had a 40 minute wait. **sigh**
* i returned two of the Hubbs birthday presents, already had those DVDs.

i'm whining, i know. i just felt like throwing myself a pity party because i really try to plan a nice day for Hubbs' birthday. so, i kept telling myself to grow up and get over it, because Hubbs is a wonderful guy. love, love, love him.

dinner, however, was another story! he made reservations @ the Napa Rose, over at the Grand Californian Hotel at Disneyland, and it was gooooooooooooood. ever had beef tenderloin that was so tender you could cut it with a spoon? yummers.

so at work yesterday, did anyone say Happy Birthday? nope. but, someone did bring a card...for another person's birthday for me to sign.

**sigh**

i know it's petty. it's childish. it's stupid. i hate that i felt like i did, and that i write about it. but, it is somewhat catharic.

but it still hurt my feelers.

Remembering...

this is my step-pop, Ed.

he turned 80 earlier this month.

Ed fought in WW2, and was on the beach at Normandy on D-Day.

He's never seen "Saving Private Ryan" - didn't see any need to, because the movie was only a remake of the original.

And he was there.

He doesn't like to talk about WW2. Occasionally a story will come out, but it seems to be one of those things that stays in.

It kills me. Being a total history fiend, i want to know more about a time in our history from someone who lived it. From a scrapbooking perspective, well, same thing. It's a layout dying to be made.

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. Knowing we were having dinner with them, my husband asked me to make a card for Ed, thanking him for his service to our country. He wrote a little something, and we gave it to him at dinner last night.

He laughed at first (which of course made me feel real good!), but as he read what Brendan wrote, it sobered him up. Then, he thanked the husband.

As Tom Brokaw put it, they were the Greatest Generation. And they're vanishing as rapidly as the rain forest.

And it's more of a loss.

Today is Memorial Day. In 1971, Congress passed the law that made it a three day weekend. In 1971, it likely ceased to truly be a Day of remembrance and became the First Three Day Weekend of Summer.

But i remember. Because i see a reason for it at least once a week.

So, for all those, past & present that served our country - the husbands, wifes, brothers, sisters, sons & daughters that gave their lives. Take a moment before the BBQ fires up to remember.

And, to quote R. Lee Emery from the Hubbs favorite show Mail Call:

Semper Fi. Carry On.

Withdrawals...

...from life.

...from my blog.

...from my laptop.

thankfully - the laptop is back in biz-ness!

took off last Friday to meet with one of my best friends, who lives about an hour from us, and introduced me to the Hubbs. she came down to chaperone her daughter's jr. high ditch day, so we got to spend the day together @ Knott's Berry Farm, a little amusement park literally around the corner from me - it's where the Hubbs became my Hubbs.

(yes, i got married in an amusement park. they had the most beautiful little white clapboard church that used to be in Downey @ the turn of the century, then Walter Knott moved it to his park. they have since moved it over by their waterpark across the street, but you can get married there, AND they have non-denomational services every Sunday. my lame joke was you could try to get closer to God in the church, but go on the Xcelerator, and you will feel closer. and probably call out His Name in the process!)

so...on this Friday, as i'm just hanging with Hubbs, our phone rings & it's the Boss. and she's asking if i want to go with her to Pennsylvania next week to help out a fellow Graphics department in distress.

do i???? sure!!!! a chance to travel? oh, youbetcha. i did no traveling as a kid. zero. zilch. nada. Hubbs now is more than willing to show me what i missed.

boss & i flew out Wednesday, and got home today.

they are in dire straits. so much so, that Boss & i are heading back the week after this. for the entire week.

oh my. es no bueno.

we (along with the VP of our facility) spent 12+ hour days there, trying to help. their backlogs are outrageously high & they're in danger of not making publication on several books.

we tried to help..but there's a lot of work to be done. hence why we're going back.

but today...i'm done. had three hours of sleep this morning, was at the airport @ 5:30a.m., had a layover in Phoenix, where our flight was delayed about 40 minutes before i finally got to Long Beach airport to see the Hubbs with a bouquet of flowers.

just exactly what i needed to see. him.

looking back on this here post, i'm surprised it's as coherent as it seems to be. (do tell me if i'm wrong, wontcha?!) i'm beyond exhausted. but i want to stay up as long as i can to get my body back on West Coast time.

and the thought of going back for round two exhausts me.

hmmmm....wonder how a combo of Red Bull & Vivarin would work?

dang. almost forgot...

that i've been meaning to write a dissertation on this past CSI...

did you watch it? if you did then you know what i mean when i say HOLY CRAP!!!!

not only for Brass, but for Warrick, too...

i have some theories of my own, too...

* Sara & Grissom will end up together, if only for an episode or two. Which is OK, but i'd rather see him with Catherine.

which brings me to...

*Catherine & Warrick. i think he & his wife will split and Catherine will have her shot. Which could make for an interesting menage a trois, if you buy into my scenario: Catherine/Warrick/Grissom.

if you've read any of my previous posts, you'll understand that i LOVE this show. love, love, LOVE this show. It's well written, well acted & rarely disappoints.

If only the rest of TV...and well, life too for that matter, could be as good.

all i can say is...

all i can say is: yum.

not sure why he does it for me, but he does.

something about men like him, George Clooney, Keith Urban...they just seem like good men.

they may not be for all i know...they could be total a-holes. but they just don't seem to be that way.

but in the meantime..

yum.

Oh, the joys of a laptop...

and the joy that Hubbs hasn't taken it in yet to the shop. Seems there's trouble a-brewin' with the CD-ROM, so, off to the Geek Squad with it.

Been an interesting weekend so far. Last night, Michelle's class, through no fault of her own, wasn't what i hoped for. First, all her kits got lost, then not everything was ready or got packed, then she was late for the class due to traffic on the 5 Northbound...it truly was a comedy of errors. THEN..her wonderful husband made a trip back from San Diego County (where they live) to Irvine (where the class was - about an hour drive and with gas at $3.50/gal..)to bring the chipboard pages for the book...then his key broke off in the ignition. Ya gotta wonder who you pissed off for this kind of karma.

Weigh in last night wasn't great...gained back a 1/2 lb. Tried talking to the leader (who is busy weighing in other chubbsters) about why i feel like i'm in a rut. i gain, then lose, then gain, then...well, you get the idea. She thinks i'm bored with what i'm eating (could be...but lately all i want are yummy baked goods), and suggested i go to Trader Joe's, a local different supermarket with really good prices. But - there's a line behind me of other chubbsters waiting to weigh in, so no time to really chat.

(ah, but i DID go shopping today. Yes, a little retail therapy never hurts when the cash is available. i bought a top today that was a size smaller than what i usually wear. That did make me feel a little better.)

Here's the other thing i don't get: why, if i am on this diet, er...lifestyle change, am i watching Food Network?! Specifically, why am i watching Unwrapped where the subject matter is fried foods & they're spotlighting a restaurant in NY where they deep fry Snickers, Twix & Twinkies?!

Holy cannoli. Bloody hell but that sounds gooooooood.

Don't fret none. Just had my WW mac & cheese & am trying to decide between the WW Mississippi Mud Pie or Chocolate Fudge Cake for dessert. When, what i really want is the homemade German Chocolate Cake sitting in my kitchen as i type.

I know. There's something wrong with someone who deliberately keeps that stuff around. Kinda like i'm into torturing myself.

So....

it's Saturday night, and i should be working on some projects for my own scrapbooking pleasure, but instead, i think i'll just watch "X-Men" and drool over Hugh Jackman. Yum, yum, yum.

Whatever you do this weekend, may it be fat-free, flavor-full, and chock full of good looking people.

Happy Friday!!

Happy Weekend!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Tonight, a short trip down the 5 & 55 freeways to Scrapbook Oasis! i LOVE this place, it's so cool & they always have the latest, greatest & cutest stuff. Got a class tonight with the oh-so-much fun Michelle Hill! The class is a book & case for it...cannot wait!

Next week i spend my Friday with my best friend at Knott's Berry Farm, of all places. (oh, did i mention Hubbs & i got married there? Ah, but that's another blog entry) She is playing chaperone for her daughter's 8th grade ditch day. That in itself is depressing...this kid starts high school this fall. She was the flower girl at our wedding nine years ago. How DARE they grow up. The nerve.

Saturday, i've got a photography class over @ Table Scrapz in Brea. Looking forward to that as well...always need more input on how to take better candids or portraits. Let's face it: i just wanna be Tara/Cathy/and Donna's love child. Or at least just be able to suck up some of their talent DNA.

Really looking forward to the weekend. i need some serious decompression time.

Ah, and the laptop, from which this blog originates, will be out of commission for probably most of next week. Not that i expect any of y'all will go through withdrawals from not reading - just wanted to let you know.

Have a great weekend everyone. To all you Moms out there, have a wonderful Mother's day.

And for those of you, who like me, get a horrible heartache on that day, just remember you're not alone.

Be good!

baby love...

so, Britney was on Letterman last night...and admitted she was preggers.

and she did NOT look happy.

of course, if i were hitched to that albatross K-Fedup, i wouldn't be happy, either.

like i said before: the girl needs to dump that dead weight & move on.

it's certainly not like she could get child support out of the Sponge.

what a shmuck.

20 more days...

and i'll be another year older.

yup. the big 4-4.

it seems really weird to me. i remember thinking that someone, anyone in their 40's, were...well - old.

looks like i'm now a card-carrying member of that club.

i always loved birthdays..purely for selfish reasons...it's the one time in the year (unless you're a mom or a dad) where it's totally all about you. not the kids, not the dog. YOU.

ah, but (again for selfish reasons) lately, i'm not thrilled about my birthday. it's not about getting older. let's face it - it beats the alternative.

no - it's because (and remember: i'm selfish!) i don't get a party.

which really isn't that important..i think it's really because, at work and at home, i AM the social director. like most women, i plan, i execute, i have fun doing it!

but at work, i'm now the social director for a group i'm not even a part of. i coordinate their birthday lunches, cards...well - you get the idea.

so, no one will be planning a birthday lunch for me..unless i do one for myself.

remember: i'm having a pity party.

then i was reading Nora's blog, and seeing how her husband planned for over a year for her recent 40th birthday.

let's review these keywords: husband. planned. over a year.

my darling Hubbs can barely plan his breakfast, much less a party. he gets frustrated if the least little thing goes amiss. (and we know life never goes amiss - right?)

now again: i'm having a pity party.

i think the big underlying cause is that with each birthday that comes my way, the more it is driven home that there won't be any babies coming our way.

that's what sucks about birthdays. well, that and not having a party unless i plan my own.

what a drag it is getting old. just ask Keith Richards.

so totally cool....

have you checked out Karen's blog yet?

only four more days left for you to make a difference in another woman's life.

the cash is up to nearly $9000. amazing.

just amazing.

if you haven't become a part of this, you still have time. and if you already have, why not give another $5?
after all, you'd probably only spend it at Starbucks. i can do without Starbucks at least once, knowing it will make a major difference in the life of a woman i will never meet.

almost $9000.

ain't scrapbooking cool? more importantly, aren't you cool for getting involved.

peace out. have a great weekend.

anyone know how to interpret dreams?

odd one..had it before i got up this a.m.

i'm shopping with my sister-in-law, who convinces me to try on and BUY a halter top.

halter top?! haven't worn one since i was 11.

so we continued shopping, me wearing a halter w/ a jacket over it.

maybe i'm trying to read too much into it. but it seemed weird.

any input?

off to work. wish me luck.

how many stupid people are in the world?!

have you seen this?

honestly. Britney's not a Rhodes scholar (shocking!), but really, honey...clear the dead weight.

dump his sorry, no-talent ass. no alimony, no support, nothing.

take your babies and get out.

'nuff said.

another game of tag...

5 Things in my fridge:
yogurt
carrots (yum - SO much better than cookies..not!)
milk
diet Dr. Pepper Berries & Cream
snack cheese

In my closet:
too many shirts. need to seriously purge.
flip-flops
sweatshirts
my wedding dress
some of my old toys

In my purse:
mini flashlight
gum, gum and more gum
nail polish
Maalox
chopsticks training wheels (i admit, i'm a spaz!)

In my car:
jacket
tripod for my camera
still have leftover crackers left behind from my nephew
fire extinguisher (thank you Hubbs)
ATM deposit envelopes

Tagging:
anyone who wants to play...just let me know so i can see your answers!

and isn't it ironic...

that the very medicine that is to STOP my tummy cramps CREATES tummy cramps?!

holy crud.

i'm not usually into irony. sarcasm is my well-tailored jacket.

and i like how sarcasm fits.

and i DON'T like how this medicine fits me.

bleah.

Guess what? i'm gonna LIVE!!

(realizing, of course, you didn't know i was even sick)

Hadn't been feeling well all week. Monday i felt like i had food poisoning (after eating a perhaps questionable veggie sammich), but here it is Thursday, and i still feel like ca-ca.

So - it's time for a trip to ER. Why ER? Why not go to an Urgent Care center? Because my UCC is half an hour away (and a trip on no less than three freeways. here in cloudy So. Cal., that's so unacceptable), and it would just be easier to head over to the ER.

It went better & worse than i expected. No food poisoning, some sort of stomach bug and a low grade bladder infection.

Oh joy. Nothing makes me happier than bright orange pee.

Three prescriptions later...oh and course an upset tummy again. One med gets rid of the stomach bug, but the one for the bladder upsets the tummy.

Happy, happy - joy, joy.

Now, let's face it. i'm a weird chick. i'll even be the first to admit that. Here's why:

* when i was in a treatment room, i was alone. Total solitude. i so dig that. i really believe that, if Karma exists and we have former lives, that i was a hermit. And happy to be so.
Remember "Heidi"? (book, not movie) i totally identified with Grandfather, living in his shack up on the mountain. Heidi, in my opinion, was the luckiest little broad ever.

The other Great Truth i discovered (again) is this - i would have made a cruddy nurse. In the room next to me was a woman who would not stop moaning. Just as i was starting to feel sorry for her, she stopped, mid-moan, and barked "I WANT ANOTHER BLANKET! GET ME A BLANKET!!! DO I HAVE TO DIE TO GET ANOTHER BLANKET?!"

Not die, just get larengitus, perhaps?

My grandmother wanted to be a nurse. She enjoyed all things medical & would've been good at it. Her patience was immeasurable. Mine, however...ain't.

And so it goes.

Thankfully, they sprung me from the ER just as Barney was starting. Good thing. i could stand Clifford the Big Red Dog. Or Little Einsteins. Or even Higglytown Heroes.

But not Barney. Oy.

So, once again, making my nest in our trusty recliner. Trying to not think about my churning tummy. And thinking how much fun it is to not have alcohol, spicy foods, caffeine or..well, other adult activities till i'm done with all these meds.

See? Told ya i was sick.

And i've got papers to prove it.

Word.

Ever been sooo sick...

That you realize you could die?

then, the Drama Queen part of you backs off, and you realize, much to your horror:
"i'm gonna live through this."

holy crap.

ah, such was the drama going around my place last night. And yes, i was the Drama Queen.

i think it all started with my lunch yesterday - we have a cafeteria at work, and, in keeping with my WW standards (such as they are), i ordered a veggie sammich and got myself a salad from the salad bar.

the sammich was a total Dagwood creation (remember him from the comic Blondie? He used to create mile high sandwiches), chock full of mushrooms, olives, lettuce, spinach, avocado...yummers.

but about half way through, i noticed the avocado was, well...Brown. Actually, a brownish-gray. But, not being a panicker, i assumed, it's because no one sprinkled lemon juice on it. 'sides, it tasted OK...

as the afternoon progressed, i felt a little bloated. No biggie - the sammich also had cucumber on it, and that does affect me that way. Just pop a few Maalox, and we'll be on our way.

being that Monday is my Hubs' Sunday, he was home, so off to dinner we went. We have an Old Spaghetti Factory just a few miles from us, and i would so rather go there than some of our fancier Italian restaurants. yummers. But, in spite of my quite yummy chicken marsala, i couldn't even eat half of it. i felt nauseous and just icky.

so, off to Walgreen's to get more Maalox.

i won't gross you out with the details, just suffice it to say that i was awake all night, tossing, turning, and chills. Ended up with two flannel rag quilts on top of my bedspread AND blanket. At one point during the night, it occurred to me that i could die like this.

then i realized...ohhhhhh nooooooooooooo. You'll live through this. Every single second of hell.

So here i am at home. Drinking more water than is humanly possible. The thought of food makes my stomach churn.

But on the bright side - this will do wonders for my diet.