look out. she's showing off. again.

this ain't right.

at this time this a.m.

it was this many degrees.

(sorry it's a little blurry)

that's just all kinds of wrong.

dagnabb hippie.

well. first it was my nose.

then it was this:

that would be a henna tat.

India ink.

sorry. i couldn't resist.

not sure why i did it, just got a wild hair up my bum and well...here you go.

the lady who did it, created it all freehand. that in itself was amazing.

and it'll only last a few weeks. they'll love it @ work.

in other news...

it's hottenhades here today. as a matter of fact, in Sherman Oaks, about 40 minutes from us, it was hotter there than in Las Vegas.

that is SO wrong.

it's way too hot. and it ain't getting better this weekend.

gross.

i also thank you for your concern on the Husband. we talked last night. and if you know him you know how he can get. hopefully i managed to help him see the forest from the trees.

and...

the farewell night of fun for my friend @ work went well...he and another of my friends and another girl from work stayed quite late. i would've probably, too, except that the Husband was there and he always worries about me coming home late by myself.

and i didn't even cry.

although... i got kind of worried when my former boss called and said she wanted to take a picture of me with him. so i thwarted her. i grabbed two of my friends and we ALL took a picture with him. then we serenaded him with all the songs we could think of that had 'good bye' in 'em.

all the original hits! 'so long, farewell'; 'sha-na-na-na, hey, hey, hey, good bye,' 'who let the dogs out'.

hey. i never said we were good.

he laughed, was a little embarrassed, but enjoyed it.

i really hope he does well at the new job. he is a rarity today - a really nice, genuine person who doesn't look for anything from you, except your friendship.

and i think i did that. at least i hope i did.

i will miss him. i do already.

(and he was WAY nicer than the other lead, who thinks he IS all that - and even went so far as to tell me he didn't understand why he wasn't a supervisor, since he was smarter than his supervisor. dumbass. you may think it, but you sure don't say it. out loud. at work.)

and i will have photos later. this cruddy weather at least makes for some killer cloud formations. and colors.

have a safe Labor Day weekend. and thanks again. i don't deserve your friendship.

i'm here.

really.

just some fun stuff going on here.

can you feel my sarcasm?

all i can say is, if you could, pray for the Husband, that he can see the forest from the trees.

and for me that i don't kill him before this is all over.

Michael Vick, you're a....

schmuck.

what...what'd you think i was gonna say?

i wasn't gonna comment on this, but today, after watching the news today...well...

i really, really get tired of people, celebrities and non, when they get caught doing wrong, say they have 'found God.'

like they expect the Lord is a 'get outta jail free card' and we, the Public, has to forgive 'em.
any maybe, just maybe, they'll get a reduced sentence. be forgiven by us, the people who pay their salaries.

there's been a few...a very few, who i truly believe DID, through their crimes or mistakes or whatever, really did find a personal relationship with God, have allowed Him to change their lives and truly is now living the life they say they are.

Chuck Colson comes to mind.

but most of these clowns, er...people, i don't think are sorry for everything they did, just sorry that they got caught.

i didn't used to be this cynical.
but maybe the new trifocals are making me see things differently.
even if i don't have 'em yet.

so with Vick, the true test, i believe, will be to see what his life becomes after this is all over. if he still has, in his words, 'found Jesus.'

you don't have to find Him. He's right there next to you - all the time.
let's see if Vick knows that, too.

my new favorite quote.

i love quotes.
some funy. some deep. some make no sense.

no comments, please. i'm very sensitive right now.

anywhooo...we saw this one while watching my Alton on Feasting on Asphalt on the Food Network.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Andre Gida

amen that.

definitely words to live by...especially for me right now.

do you have a quote? doesn't matter if it's silly or sentimental...if you want to share, post a comment on your favorite.

who knows - maybe i'll steal it from you. after all, your pens aren't safe near me, why should your quote be safe either?

good night.

blah, blah, blagging.

at least that's what Melissa's friend Heather called it, when you tag someone on your blog.
i like it.

so without further ado, because no one asked for it AND because i seem to never tire of talking about me... i present:

8 jobs i have had in my life.

(hold on to your hats, kids)

1) my first job (not counting selling Christmas cards all year) was working as a waitress at a little cafe near my childhood home. i worked it for about three weeks. i hated waitressing AND i sucked at it. so much so that i didn't even make a courtesy tip. i was still in high school.

(what's funny/weird, is that i served dinners all.the.time at Rainbow functions. we would serve dinners at other Masonic functions to earn money for the Assembly. i did OK with that.)



2) i worked at a pizza deli for (again) about three weeks. the owner was a cranky, mean, unreasonable fellah - he handed me the menu on my first day and told me to have it memorized by my next shift. the next day.

i laughed. he didn't. i finally got tired of all his yelling, so i quit. which brings us to...



3) Woolworths. remember them? five & dimes? i worked at one for a Christmas season, which carried over to the March after that. then i was let go.

nothing's worse than to be a teenager working AT the mall, with all your friends outside your store, because no self-respecting teenager would be caught dead inside a Woolworths.



4) Supercuts. i worked there as a receptionist for years. loved that job. worked for a cool couple who owned two locations in Long Beach. we got reviews every quarter, and i got a raise every quarter. just about a quarter per quarter, but what the heck.

i swept hair, rang up bills, washed & dried towels. i remember the Arby's restaurant across the street got held up, and our owner was visiting our location. he asked me what i would do if someone held us up, and i was honest.

'i'd give him all the money we had, and give him some shampoo and conditioner, too, if they wanted it.' not the answer he wanted.

moving on to...
5) junior loan processor. i even had business cards with that and my name printed on them for the first time in my life. don't be too impressed, all i really was, was a glorified copy girl. my main job was xeroxing loan packages to send to the lender. i left because i got really tired of my boss and her friend using a certain F bomb all.the.time. seriously. all the time.

6) car dealer receptionist. cool job. pretty cool people. even met a boyfriend that i was beyond crazy about. i left when they moved me from full time M-F to part time 6 days a week. buh-bye.

7) GTE/Verizon/Idearc Media. in the last 20 years of my life, i've been here. it's changed names three times, we've had lots of changes, lots of layoffs and STILL i manage to hang on. i've also had as many jobs AT this place as on this list. and i won't bore you with some of the mind-numbing jobs i've done here.
and in between my time there, i've also....

8) been an archaeologist at Knott's Scary Farm's Camp Spooky. Camp Spooky is normally Camp Snoopy, a fun place for little kids to hang out, with rides, games etc just their size.
we had a maze set up, and occasionally a smiling vampire or Frankenstein would amble through. each kid would get their map of all the mazes stamped, and at the end would get a Snoopy digital watch. i would either stamp, hand out watches OR hand out the trick or treat candy we also had.
the kids were great. their parents, not so much.
why, you may ask, did i, in my late 30s, take a job at an amusement park, when i didn't have to?
well, every year, Knott's hosts their Halloween Haunt. and it really will scare the pee out of you. really.
and i always wanted to be a 'critter' that would wander through the Park, hiding in the shadows, then jumping out and chasing teenage girls, making them scream.

i'm not nice. it just seemed like so much fun. the only deal was, they usually had the same people every year as critters. they would run and slide on their knees, they hid in super scary mazes.
they even changed the rides to really make them scary. and have people jump out at you, there.

it was something i always wanted to do. and even though i never made critter status, i did have fun working every weekend from the end of September to the end of October. and the best part was, every night after i got off work, i could ride the Log Ride (minus the critters, the ride was 'normal' during the day) as much as i wanted to. no one cared.
and it was cool to hang out where Brendan & i got married...at the same time of year.

but that's another post.

well, suffice it to say that this post is as long as the job history i've provided. let me know if you decide to play, i'd love to see your employment history, too.

apparently my bulb is dim.

not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
a taco short of a combo platter.
one glove short of a pair.

well, you get the idea.


instead of wearing jeans, as we've been able to all month (normally jeans are only allowed on Fridays)today, i decided to live on the edge.


i wore a skirt.


a cute knit skirt, a little striped blouse and some chunky heels.

i felt super cute, AND i coordinated.


and since y'all know how bad my *ahem* vision is, that IS a miracle.


then i got to work and found out that the Powers that Be were moving my desk today.


t-o-d-a-y.


sucks to me me, don't it?


so, cute skirt got all uggy as i packed up, dusted and cleaned and unpacked.


on the bright side, i finally sit across from my boss. so, as his lead, that's kind of important.


secondly, the printer is next to my desk. that SO rocks.


thirdly, i'm next to the window. it's bright. i felt happier! i felt cute again!! i felt...icy breezes blowing down my shoulder.

oh goody. i'm next to the leaky vent on the AC, where it comes through a light fixture.


but dang it, i still looked cute.


in other news...


yesterday, the Husband & i decided to clean the steps, leading up to our apartment. they're uggy, stuff has been spilled on them and it just looked gross. so we cleaned up.


and for some weird reason, i looked up.


steel yourselves.



yep. that's a wasp nest. near our neighbor's AC unit at the top of the wall & the roof.

niiice.

it really is cool to look at. except that i hate all bugs with stingers.

i've got a perfect record. never been stung. i'd like to keep it that way.
of course, i'm married to a fellah who's allergic to bee venom.
and i'm not sure of the wasps. neither is he.

so yes, i'm contacting the management to have 'em remove it. i was going to lock Brendan in the house, then hose the crap out of it, but Brendan said to let sleeping dogs lie.

does that look like dogs to you?

oh well. this too shall be fixed.

good thing i can still see it.

oh no you didn'!

beneath this hard shell of an exterior, is a creamy center of marshmallow.

really.

however - that marshmallow can get really crusty sometimes.

like tonight.

still having some issues with my stiffy sore neck, so, on our way home from Target, we stopped at a drug store so i could get some IcyHot.

and, paid for it with my ATM, like always. however, the screen wasn't reading my pen strokes correctly. everytime i said i didn't want $40 back, it tried to give me $40.

i couldn't clear it. i couldn't go on.

in the meantime - as we pulled in the parking lot, we watched a couple get out of a Porsche, and she was tall and long legged. the Husband was impressed.

so back to the in-store fun.

while the clerk and i were fighting the ATM screen (right before the clerk voided the sale to start over), the long-legged chick behind me said "what - can't you see it?"

my head turned around like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

"no," i said politely but snottily, ''i can see it just fine. it's not responding the way i need it to, thank you very much."

"shaw. she said. (you know, that mouth noise most teenagers make when they're irritated with us old folks.) i didn't mean it that way."

"well, no matter how you meant it, " Snot Queen Valerie said, "just know i can see it just fine."

she didn't say another word, until i walked off. then i heard her say to her boyfriend (or whatever he was), "that was rude."

i didn't even turn around as i walked off. "don't worry, honey, you can teach us a thing or two about rude."

i SO could've hip-checked her into next week... and the worst part is that when we watched them walk in, we both figured they were probably in their early 20s. no way, dude. when i looked at her, that chick was as old as me. and she didn't look good.

kinda like a PSA for skin damage caused by tanning.

so perhaps, perhaps i overreacted. perhaps i'm still a little sensitive about trifocals.

but chickie needs to learn a thing or two about keeping smart-ass comments to herself.

and i need to be less nasty and more marshmallowy.

but the Linda Blair thing was cool.

speak up, i can't see you.

y'know, the Rolling Stones really were visionaries when they said 'what a drag it is getting old.'

visionaries, i tells ya..

not that i want any of 'Mother's Little Helper,' although after today...

as you know, i'm not single. i'm not even bi.

however, i am tri.

as in trifocals.

tri-fo-cals.

dude. that soooooooooooooo sucks. in three ways from Sunday.

sorry. it had to be said.

i knew i was buying time, really. it's been harder and harder to read small print on things @ work.

but holy crap, kids. trifocals?! nothing like that to remind me that i ain't a kid.

dammit - my stepfather is 81. he doesn't have bifocals, much less trifocals. my mom is 66 and she doesn't have 'em, either.

must be from dad. thanks, dad. first you left AND you left me with your crappy eyesight.

what the heck. i gotta blame someone.

AND since we were at Costco (where, as you know, you can get EVERYTHING, even a casket), my husband, dear sweet kind Brendan, said perhaps we could look for a walker for me.

niiiice.

heck, even my mother jumped on the dumpbandwagon and said the SPCA would probably have a good place to find a seeing-eye dog.

ah, the love of family.

trifocals. dude. that's SO wrong. and do you think it would be easy finding a pair of glasses i could use for tris? oh heck no. every cute pair i picked up didn't have large enough lenses.
oh. sorry. i guess i'll get these big ass bug eye glasses in orange. especially since i look soooo good in orange.

but thankfully, for my vanity's sake, i did find a pair of cute dark rose metal frames. not as cute as the green & black ones i really wanted, but the lens wasn't big enough (insert sarcastic, smart-ass tone here).

so let's see. i now have trifocals. i have arthritis, AND i started taking meds for acid reflux.

what a drag it is getting old.
hey. maybe i DO want some of Mother's Little Helper. i'd still have the same problems, but crap - i just wouldn't care.

think i can get that @ Costco?