in my next life, i'm coming back as an orphan.

i believe in life everlasting.
i'm not sure about life in the hereafter.

like the Hindus and Buddhists, i do believe that it is better for karma and all around good vibes to do good on this earth. and while i'm am SO all about that, i am definitely not interested in coming back for another go-round.

don't get me wrong. i love life. i love my husband, my friends and even my cat. i love my mom. heck, i even love my camera.

i.do.not.love.family.

my family, to be exact.

unbeknownst to me as a child, i was the black sheep. and dammit, i never even got the opportunity to enjoy it. since my mom was unmarried when i was born (a small fact that apparently every other person in my extended family knew EXCEPT for me), apparently that gave others in my family, in particular my cousins, carte blanche to treat me like i was a step below them.

so while i was wearing my Toughskin jeans from the Pretty Plus section at Sears, they were wearing Sassoon jeans. they modeled for Buffums department stores, even appearing in print ads.

i was queen of the circus. and i even took them for free to the circus.

they were skinny. i was not. still aren't.

and if i sound bitter, it's because i am...just a tad. growing up was a never ending chorus of "why can't you be more like your cousins? THEY clean their room. THEY get As in school. THEY blah blah blah."

but after i did grow up, and they did, too, a funny thing happened. i became OK with me - warts and all. and while i was the chubby kid wearing Sears specials, and they were really truly spoiled kids wearing designer clothes, i didn't end up like the oldest of them, pregnant and married by 20, divorced three months later, and after birthing, basically handed over her child to her mother to raise so she could par-tay.

and get hooked on coke. but that's a whole 'nother saga.

the middle girl was pretty dang cool. and it was for her that i allowed my mom to guilt me into going to her baby shower for her first child - at 42.

they'd been trying for four years. man, i get that.

so, i managed to have a little breakdown before we left today for the shower. probably some pent up rage, still bitter about us not being pregnant (and we SO will not get into the whole story here about the local woman who, already having 6 kids, just gave birth to 8 more. eight. ocho.) and just so NOT wanting to go to this shower with these people that are supposed to be family.

family that do not treat the uncool as family.

and as we left today, the oldest, who really needs to be paddled, is bitching about how she hates her mother, how she needs to find a younger richer man and finishes with us coming over to their place for Easter.

oh - thanks. but i think i'm planning on surgery that day.

i don't need this. i truly am happy with my life and my small family as it is.

but if there is a next life, i am so coming back as an orphan.

she's at it again.

i entered another dang photo contest.

RitzPix, where i print photos a lot of times, is sponsoring a photo contest on Facebook.
(you can see it here)

and, i am a sucker for photos and contests. so heck, put the two of 'em together and man, i am SO there.

so feel free to enter your own photos - heck, it's pretty dang fun and easy.

but if you want to see mine, and vote for it (you vote by writing "vote" in the comment section under each photo), go here.

vote early and often. and thanks.

washing my hands. again.

here in Mostly Smoggy So. Cal., because we do have such mild winters, we also get a lot of conventions during the winter.

a.lot.of.conventions.

makes sense - we are notorious for, among other things, mild winters, no snow and some of the most egotistical & vain peeps this side of the Hollywood city limits.

so it's really no surprise that the Craft Hobby Association, otherwise known as CHA, generally holds its winter meet here.

and it's really no surprise either that they hold it across the street from the Happiest Place on Earth.

last year, i almost had a chance to volunteer at the show...i had signed up to help in a booth but unfortunately due to an email glitch, i didn't make it. which, in a way, is OK, when you consider that unless you've got a resale license, you ain't buying diddly.

talk about a tease.

generally, there are a lot of scrapbooking celebs at this show. some to work, some to play and check out what's new for this year.

and apparently there was a whole new celeb appearing there this year.

Paris Hilton.

yep. the O.C. Register.com ran an oh-so-small story on their website stating that Paris attended the show this weekend, touting her new line of (wait for it) scrapbooking products, aimed at the 'tween' age.

isn't that great, America? not only can your 11 year old girl dress trashy, now she can scrapbook that way as well.

in all fairness, i haven't seen the line. not that i would expect her to send photos in an email blast to anyone that signed up for twopeasinabucket.com. but i have to admit i'm curious as to what it looks like.

and i gotta say that although i wouldn't buy anything from the line, even if i did like it, based only on moral grounds (chick has more than enough cash, she doesn't need any more from me), i'm so seeing a trend here. not only can you have hair extensions & clothing by Paris, you can also smell like her (the perfume she designed). now you can scrapbook like her.

not that i'm seeing her surrounded by glue dots and deckled scissors anytime soon.

but i do see that for years she's had an interest in memory making. after all, she's documented
parts of her life.

lucky us.

a random thought haiku post.

*the dang cold is back. stupid thing must like me. really, i'm not all that so you don't need to hang around.

*irritated as hell with the photo class. not the class per se, i love the teacher, but dagnabbit, the people in the class are a bunch of photo snobs who, although i have no doubt are talented and know what they are talking about are STILL a BUNCH OF SNOBS WHO DROP LINES LIKE: 'well, last year when we were on safari in Africa...' heck, if i didn't know better, i would think i was in the middle of 'Real Housewives of Laguna.' except that most of the people in my class are men. men that are older than me. sheehs.

*day from hell today at work. it's amazing some people keep their jobs. and that others of us don't come in and shoot up the place. not me. i can't aim.

*laying low this weekend. but am planning on having chilaques for breakfast Sunday. yum-o.

*laughing at the recent offer i got for Creating Keepsakes magazine: 2 years at the ridiculously low rate of $24. why, that's only a dollar an issue! and an 83% savings over the cover price of $143.76. wow. now that's a bargain.

*i have lost my most favorite-wear-them-all-the-time pair of silver hoops earrings. and right now i don't care about the starving children in China OR El Monte, i.want.my.damn.earrings.

*work is sponsoring a biometric health fair, free cholesterol, diabetes, etc screening. oh, and a BMI index reading. looking forward to busting the chart on that machine.

*seriously. is it possible to STOP producing snot for five minutes?

*saw a can at the Mexican restaurant we frequent for Bud Light mixed with Clamato. Clamato.
totally gross.

*SO looking forward to a better week this next week.

it's hard being this cute.

oh yeah.

after a week from hell, i decided that this weekend was going to be...well, about me.

selfish? oh yeah. and i wasn't going to apologize for it.

that was until i called my mom this a.m.

the Husband & i were at Wally-Mart, when i happened to notice the 6oz cans of Coke & diet Coke. my parents flipping love 'em, so i called to see if they needed any.

why sure! and while you're at it, can you get us some milk, too?

um....OK. and, since i have milk, i need to bring it over toot sweet.

then when we got there, my mom asks if Brendan would go in the back yard and rake the leaves for my step-pop.

apparently, he hasn't raked in over a year.

holy freaking crap.

so, when we got in the backyard, and Brendan got it raked up, the piles were HUGE.
and, thankfully, Brendan had bought a leaf blower/vacuum for my step-pop last year, so now was a good time to try it out.

it sucked. literally. i am here to tell you that it doesn't suck 'em up like it should.

i am here to tell you that there is still huge piles of leaves. even four hours later.

and i was bent.

selfish, selfish me.

it's not that i had all these incredible plans for us, i just wanted to relax and spent time with my sweetie...not watch him up to his ankles in leaves and other lawn crap.

i know they don't get around too well. i don't begrudge helping, just begrudge the helping when i hadn't planned for it.

and that, Gentle Reader, makes me selfish. shame on me.


in other news...

i made it in my photo class. no problems, but daaaang. it is packed to the rim. luckily, i got there super early, so i could get a spot at a table, not to end up sitting in the aisle in a folding chair.

and what a clique exists. we're talking about men older than me. and when i tried to make conversation with two of them, they looked at me like i said i drown bunnies and puppies for fun.
not only that, but when this other woman came in a little later, and there was an empty chair between the two, after they greeted each other, the woman asked if they had saved the seat for her.

nope, one said, we're saving it for Kathy.

niiiice.

they're also camera snobs...they both said, during class, that Nikon cameras ruled, and if you had a Canon, well..you just weren't in their league.

they laughed of course, but now i was totally bent at them.

there's no fool like an old fool. and no better way to piss me me off than to act like an ass.

moving on...

Brendan had another interview this week with a company in Mission Viejo...this time to test his prowess on Word and Excel.

he said he did OK on the Word part, the Excel, not so much. but in any case, they said they should be contacting him by Monday. this time to possibly meet with the president & vice president of the company.

fingers crossed. i would so love to have this nightmare of unemployment end for him.

oh yeah, and me, too - after all, it is all about me.

this week has kicked my asterisk.

the first full week after Christmas and New Year's sucky-suck-sucks. always.
not only do you have the holiday hangover/burnout, but it's the first full week back at work/school, and that, my friends, is just full of it.

bleah.

not only that, but i'm suffering from photo withdrawal. i'm so in need of some good subject matter, but dang it, by the time i get out of work, when the light is golden & perfect, i'm too beat to do anything.

speaking of photos...here's reason # 4,578, 391 why i am the Queen of the Doofuses.

this past week was the beginning of my next stage in the photo class. i had signed up for it way before Christmas, and last weekend asked Brendan to drive out there so i had an idea where in the heck this place was.

(we had been there once before, for an organizational class. the only thing i got out of it was a different way to fold socks. man, that was boring.)

Wednesday, i drove out to Yorba Linda right after work. Yorba Linda, where a lot of our summer/fall fire was, is about 35 minutes from our casa...but of course, driving at prime drive time can boot the time up. luckily, traffic was light, so i made it out there in good time.

the fun part is, the school where this class is, is in the middle of reconstruction to become a junior high. the REALLY fun part, is that this is up in the hills. coyotes are there. not much lights. not even the campus is well lit.

i was trying to not freak myself out...imagining i was hearing the theme from Friday the 13th or Psycho. thankfully, no murderous rampages happened that night.

however...

once i got in class, i managed to drop my brand new $300 glasses onto the floor. and watched in horror as the lens popped out on one side.

oh dadgum it.

i spent the rest of the night trying to get the bloody thing back in.

then...

the instructor wasn't there that night...which i knew. he's on a cruise until next week.
lucky him.
so, while i was fighting my glasses, the sub handed out the class outline.

funny - it looks exactly like the one for the class i just took.

oh.crap.

i signed up for the beginner class. again.

i have no problem, really, taking the beginner class again...but i'll be a monkey's uncle if i'm a-gonna take it out in Yorba-freaking-Linda.

then she mentions the intermediate class (which i wanted) is full with a waiting list.

oh.double.crap.

knowing what i do know about Dave, the teacher, is - i should be able to crash the class. man, i hope so, i don't want to have $70 go down the tubes.

although it might teach me to pay more attention to what i'm signing up for.

naaaaah. once a goof, always a goof.


in other news...
the Husband had a phone interview with a company in Mission Viejo Tuesday...a town about 20 minutes from us. now they want to meet him this week for another interview.

prayers, please that this works and he can become once again a productive member of society.

if '09 wants me, it'll have to come in & get me.

the party's over...if you can call 2008 a par-tay.

we've eaten our black-eyed peas. luck is insured, right?

right?

anywhooo...

i'm not one to make resolutions. never have been. i usually come up with ideas what i want to try and accomplish in the new year, and sometimes (OK, most of the time) they fall by the wayside.

this year is different.

the resolutions i'm making i think...no, i know, are ones i need to keep.

* i resolve to worry less...especially over things i have no control over. people i work with that drive me crazy...i'm letting it go. there are always going to be people who don't do the right thing, or don't do what i want/need them to do.

*i resolve to not sweat the small stuff. let's face it: there are things we all worry about that are nothing but a waste of our time and energy. there's a ton more fun things in this world i can be doing with that time & energy.

* i resolve to have more fun. whether that means scrapbooking, writing or working on mad photog skillz.

for shizzle.

oh, and i resolve to not try and be cool, yo. i'm really too old.

bring it on, '09. i'm ready for you.

in other news...

Friday night, we met up with my best friend and her kids out at the Mission Inn in Riverside for their annual Festival of Lights. we've never seen them before, and to say it was amazing is an understatement.

the place is a target rich photo environment any day of the week. well, add bunches of lights (and some really creepy anamatonic figures-they were really weirding us all out) and it becomes amazing.

i love photo rich environments.

the place is amazing.

just amazing. inside & out.

and so are the shops around the Inn. amazing windows.


and some cool decorations they had that reminded me of giant dandelions. or, as Kristie said, 'all i can think of is 'we are here, we are here, we are heeeeere!!' (a la Horton Hears a Who!) i thought they would look super cool in black & white.

thanks for the invite, Kristie. it was totally cool.

here's to a new year, full of new promise.