what am i doing?

(we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for this mindless rant)

what am i thinking, having back surgery?! why am i allowing a total stranger to cut into my spine? why is it so bloody important to not be in pain? i have vicaden! there are drugs that can and mostly do help!

so why am i doing this?

i hate vicaden. i hate pain. i have nerve damage (not that this will fix that). this back thing is affecting other parts of my body, that i won't get in to.

again...so why am i doing this?

i want to feel normal. i want to feel like i did before May '04, which is when i originally injured it.

but i want it over. there's nothing that can happen to me that i haven't already dreamed of.

let the games begin.
(we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.)