*random thoughts

confusion sets in.

2011-04-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

what a long, strange trip it's been.
and that was just last week.

last week brought me to my knees...and i'm still trying to find my way back up. nothing serious, but something hit me hard enough to really make me pause...and wonder what the heck it's all about, anyway.

things will be well. more importantly, i will be well..i just need to find my footing.

and once i do...the confusion will be gone, right?

dude. being a grown up sucks.

not in my jeans..er, genes.

2011-03-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

a good friend had posted on Facebook the other day how her daughter was inadvertently following in her footsteps...by getting into the art/publishing business...and my friend had done the same thing in her mother's footsteps - her mother an art major (like my friend) and both parents were into publishing. so she asked, how many of us out there HAD followed in their parents footsteps.

i got nothin'.

my grandmother, while she never studied, wanted to be a nurse. medicine fascinated her - but it was the Depression and hey - there was barely enough money to live, much less for something like schooling.
she LIVED to see them draw blood.

um, no thank you.

my mom has some mad math skilz. me, not so much. if math problems go higher than how many fingers & toes i have to count on...then there had better be a calculator handy.
photography? yep. my mom has a good eye. so i guess i got that going for me..

my mom & i got started in cross stitching about the same time. that's a wash.
however she now quilts. she would LOVE it if i started that as well. thanks, but no. i HATED sewing in home-ec, so sewing for pleasure? meh.

now. as for the ~~sperm donor~~..er...dad...well...i don't know much about him since he left before i was born.

wait..i do know this: dad could put 'em away...and did so frequently. wait! i can do that, too!!
oh, and he also had a sarcastic sense of humor.

wait! i also am sarcastic!!!
so. i am sarcastic and like beer. thank heavens for genetics.

something's in the water.

2011-03-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

56% of women in this country wear size 14 and up. 56 percent.

but apparently the retailers out there don't see it that way.

Spring is here. and with it comes some fevah. while i don't look for more cowbell with that fever, i do look for some wardrobe freshening.

(and me saying wardrobe freshening is kinda funny...if you know me or have seen what i wear, there ain't no wardrobe going on)

my shopping usually occurs at one of two places: Target (98%) and Walmart (1%) and other (1%)...the 'other' being more expensive and as such are usually confined to *ahem* foundation garments and the occasionally super-cute top. Target is my go-to for cute fat gurl clothes.

lately - not so much.

when i've gone to Target & WallyWorld, i've noticed something...the usual size of the plus size selection has apparently gone on a diet.

and has lot a LOT of weight.

while the maternity size...right next to the plus size has, well...expanded. kinda like Octomom.

i.don't.get.it.

hello? marketeers of said store? did you not get that 56% of the women in America wear a size 14 and up? why would you reduce the size of your plus size section? while i get that it costs somewhat more to make these clothes, didja think that we would think 'oh crap, not so many fat gurl clothes to choose from? i'd better go on a diet!'

(shhh. lemme let you in on a tiny secret: when given a choice between a hot fudge brownie sundae {no nuts, please}and a diet? guess what i'm gonna choose)

so...just in case any of the marketing geniuses from Target are reading...lemme lay it out on the table for you: plus size good. expansion of plus size section better.

while being in the 56 percentile may not be best for me personally, it sure doesn't mean i wanna wear mu-mus and caftans.

now if you'll excuse me, there's some hot fudge calling my name.

persistent lil' buggers.

2011-02-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

more changes for 2011. the bigger one for us, was, getting new insurance this year.

oh new insurance and new doctor - why do you torment me so?

we ended up switching from our PPO to Kaiser...i was reluctant to do so, but hey, a $3000 difference makes a difference - especially when half of your household is unemployed.

i really hated to switch. i loved our old doctor. he was young. rather hip. kept the Husband on the straight and narrow with his diabetes (conversely, he kept me on the straight & narrow. dammit.), and he was WAY too good looking for one man.

(best laugh Brendan had was after my first visit, i came home and announced that this doctor would NEVER EVER look at my hoo-hoo. not a chance. don't ruin it for me, k?)

but Kaiser, i have to say, wins the all-time world champion super-duper bowl for communication.

i have never EVER seen any company be as proactive and easy to communicate with. i've got an appointment with my new primary care AND an opthamologist this Tuesday - probably eye surgery in my immediate future, but nothing serious so there you go.

until today.

got a message from them, informing me that it was time for my annual ~~scraping~~ well-woman exam.
well la-de-freakin'-dah.

so a trifecta of fun awaits me. i'm getting examined, smeared, and dilated.

damn. it sounds like such a party, i may order out for wings.

luckily, my new primary care, although a good looking man, is not the rock-star god my old doctor was.

thanks be to God. that means he may see my hoo-hoo. time to spruce up.

hmmm.

2011-02-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

it has come to my attention...on more than one occasion, that if i ever dyed my hair back to a darker (read: natural) color, i just might be accepted for membership in Mensa.

maybe.

or not. case in point:

it's a rather quiet night here under the Smogberry trees...the Husband just went to bed and it occurred to me that our neighbor was not, for a change, sitting out on her patio, dropping f-bombs on her phone calls (hourly calls, it would seem) to ex-boyfriends.

dang. it's practically Christmas!

but then, i kept hearing something...like someone had their TV or radio up. loud.

really kids? it's really necessary to have everything up that loud? come on. i mean, what's the point in it? is it so important to have your music on so loud that EVERYONE gets to hear it? what if they don't like country? or Michael Jackson? or even Toni Basil?

wait. Toni Basil?
holy crap. that's my iPod.
in the bottom of my purse.
that sounds like it's playing at a neighbor's.

think i'll slink off to bed now. goodbye forever...the blond one.

when the past comes around...

2011-01-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

met my old lover in the grocery store / the snow was falling Christmas eve
i stole behind her in the frozen foods / and i touched her on the sleeve

when i was in 9th grade, i fell in love/developed a crush/had it bad for a guy i had gone to school with since kindergarten.

it was bad.

the guy and i were friends. always had been. but it killed me when he would date my friends, leaving me alone on the sidelines with my secret crush.

ah, the stuff Hollywood romantic comedies are made of.

she didn't recognize my face at first / and then her eyes flew open wide
tried to hug me and she spilled her purse / and we laughed until we cried

we recently reconnected again, like so many of us are, via Facebook. we've texted back and forth, as is the custom of the day. he's married. kids. i'm married. no kids. two cats.

he emailed a while back, to let me know he was changing jobs and would be out here in the Smogberry Trees for training. we need to get together for dinner and such.
bring la-la too, he said.

la-la is my code name for his old girlfriend, my friend in the day. suddenly, i was 15 again, with my feelers hurt. 'um, hello? what about me? am i so invisible to you that you can't see me standing here?'

went to have ourselves a drink or two / but couldn't find an open bar
we bought a six pack in a liquor store / and we drank it in her car

it's amazing that, no matter how we age, or how mature we are, or even whether we're married, single or other...that all it takes is one blast from the past, and we are immediately transported back to that age, that situation...that feeling that you had then.

the three of us sent emails and decided on a date for dinner. being that we're all Mexican food freaks (and that he, having lived WAY out from the Smogberry trees, does not have the best access to good Mexican food), decided as well on a place the Husband found with killer food and a open access refrigerator with beer. help yourself, be honest and tell your server how many you had.

the date approached when la-la came down with the flu...texting to say that we would need to reschedule for a different date when she felt better. i passed the message on to him, feeling that pit in my stomach. dang it, i was so looking forward to that night...to seeing him and to take that oh so fun trip to Yesterland.

imagine my glee when he said he didn't want to cancel. he wanted to see me.

we drank a toast to innocence / we drank a toast to now
tried to reach beyond the emptiness / but neither one knew how

so the Husband and i met up with him - and like the lyrics from this Dan Fogelberg song, it was was another auld lang syne. we're both the same...and we've both changed. time has worked it's evil magic.

we've lost parents. loved ones. had heartbreaks. job change & loss. and while time for us has stopped from where we last saw each other, it has marched on and left its scars.

we laughed - all three of us. the Husband has things in common with him...they talked. i would look at him and think that his eyes were still as blue as i remembered. he talked quieter than i remembered. i could still make him laugh...hard.

we drank a toast to innocence / we drank a toast to time
we're living in our eloquence / another auld lang syne

dinner was long...we ate slow (for a change), talked, talked, and in between beers, talked.
i found out about his kids. talked about the high school reunion we had last year. he talked about how he didn't have many friends in high school.

i didn't realize that. i seemed to be the social butterfly, flittering between different friends that brought different colors to my page. i, in my cocoon of innocence (read naivete) just assumed he did the same.

youth can be oh so self centered.

although i didn't share with him, i remembered a time where he & i went to a ball game and we cuddled and semi-made out in the back of the bus. i thought it was a turning point. apparently it wasn't, but i wondered if he remembered or thought about it.

i was sure he didn't hold it in a gossamer-lined box in his heart for a good part of his adolescence like i had.

we finished dinner, paid the bill and walked outside, still talking. he said the next two Thursdays would work for a rematch of dinner...hopefully with la-la this time. my 15 year old heart soared and then plummeted. but i looked at him, and at my Husband and realized that a) he wanted to see me even without la-la and b) despite issues every marriage has, that i got to go home with my Husband and not be hundreds of miles away from a family i missed.

we hugged. and kissed. my 15 year old self was happy. my 48 year old self was happy as well. happy to reconnect. happy to be where i am in my life. happy to be the Husband's wife.
happy. and still a little bit of 15 again.

the beer was empty and our tongues were tired / running out of things to say

just for a moment i was back in school / and felt that old familiar pain
and as i turned to make my way back home / the snow turned into rain

'Same Auld Lang Syne' - lyrics Dan Fogelberg

happy new year.

2011-01-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

2011.
seriously?

new year. new beginning. time to start a new life.
(the Husband laid that on me when he proposed waaaaaay back in 96)

i feel like i spend a lot of time whining. wishing for more. wishing for it to be better and sometimes (OK, a lot of times) not seeing the Big Picture. that things aren't as bad as i perceive. that there IS sunshine behind the clouds.

or that the clouds aren't really there.

2010 sucked.
we lost our cat, after 14 years of purrs and pissiness.
the Husband's kick-ass Solara got rear-ended. and totalled.
the Husband had countless interviews. the majority of which went nowhere. therefore, he ended 2010 the way he began: unemployed.

on the other hand...
new furbabies entered our lives: Abby & Fletcher, belonging to friends of friends, had to get rid of them due to their kids' allergies. these two are ying and yang. they fight, they play, they love on us and the feeling is mutual. they have healed our hearts and are filling the void in our hearts left by Elvis da Wunderkat.

insurance paid off what we owed on the car. with enough left over to buy two new-to-us cars - my sister in law's Avalon and his friend's neighbor's Honda.
two cars and no payments. righteous.

doors closed. windows opened. God's hand in it all.

i just needed to look at it.

and a reminder...from my faux commencement speech last year:

1) You will make crappy decisions in your life. Guess what - that's just the way it goes. Like the song says, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Some of the choices you make will rock the world. Others, not so much. Just try to remember to learn from all and glean something out of the experience.
And while we're talking about bad decisions....

2) You will fail at something. What - this isn't the happy feel-good commencement address you were expecting? Wait....
You, you, you and even you waaaaaay in the back, will fail at something. Some will fail miserably while others will fail spectacularly. As the Husband will frequently say - 'you're gonna step on your dick'

Colorful, no?

Here's the good news: despite what the media in all forms will tell you - failure IS an option and is not always bad. After all, a chemist at DuPont failed in an experiment he was working on and ended up creating Teflon. Failure is good - learn from it and move on.

3) Love what you do. Some wag once said if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. Those people also have money up the wazoo. It's very likely you will have to work, and you ain't gonna love it. But find a passion. Find something that makes you happy and excited to get up in the morning. Photography, writing, gardening - whatever trips your trigger - if you find your passion and aren't lucky enough to make it your life's work, you can still be lucky enough to do it...and to share with others.

4) Happiness is not a birthright - it is a daily choice. If you ain't happy, guess what - it ain't your parents fault, not your siblings, your friends or even your dog's fault. That blame, my friends, lands squarely on your shoulders.

Every day we make choices, remember? You can choose happiness, too, even if your situation sucks. You don't have to be happy with the situation, just know that optimism goes a loooooong way in this world - you will live longer and not only that, you will be a thorn in the side of the nay-sayers who will lose their minds wondering what you're on because you're so damn happy all the time.

I'm not saying you should go around with a maniacal smile all the time, plucking daisies like some Ophelia, but choose your attitude daily. Choose to be optimistic. Choose to be proof positive that smiling people are up to something.

There you have it. Four little nuggets and only four because I'm somewhat OCD and I like things bookended. Go out there. Fail. Step on it...and in it. It's the only way you'll really learn, and besides, the adventure is so much more exciting living it than reading about it.

hey...2010 wasn't all that bad.
bring it, 2011. i'm so ready for you.

summer lovin' - had me a blast....

2010-06-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

don't worry. i'm not involved in a remake of 'Grease', nor am i taking up with a T-Bird.

however...if John Travolta IS interested, i volunteer to play Sandy.

and instead of 'Grease', we could name it 'Beano'. after all, we ARE middle-aged now.

i really don't have anything profound to say today...not that i regularly pluck pearls from my brain and transpose them into written word...but there are a few things crossing my mind:

1) to the shopkeepers of America...have you noticed lately? there's a recession going on. people are not spending their money quite as freely. so it might behoove you to instruct your employees to be around in the store - not hiding - and helping the customers that are willing to buy. otherwise, they're gonna walk out...just like i did in three - count 'em - THREE stores today.

man, i AM getting old. and crotchety.

2) it really sucks to have a computer down and out. the power jack is dead in mine, and currently in the hospital. it'll be cut free next week.

3) a co-worker is travelling to India for the company next week...for a month. while i don't relish either a 20 hour flight or the four weeks there, still, it's India. makes me think i could relive my fantasies of 'A Little Princess' - and yes, i know it took place in England, not India. i just like the idea.

4) i seem to be in a bit of a funk...i call it my post-birthday dramatization. seems like the older i get, after my birthday, i kind of feel looking for something...just not sure what.

5) my sweet boy turns 50 in a few weeks. good Lord. whoever thought we'd get to be 50..after all, as kids, 50 was ancient. heck, 30 was almost to the point of no return.

and to reach 99, well...a feat just like his coaching career. RIP Coach.

and once again - i have pitched a perfect game of non-sequential ramblings.
goooooooooooooooooooooo me!!

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

2010-05-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

my oldest niece graduated from high school last night.

and while she's not technically a blood relation - i like to think that friends are the family you pick and actually don't mind visiting.

graduation is always such a milestone in any life. when your child starts kindergarten - it's always so exciting - they're starting off on a grand adventure and God alone knows what awaits them on this adventure.

high school graduation is much the same. as we sat there last night, listening to what the valedictorians planned on doing with their lives (a degree in microbiology with a minor in genetic engineering? good grief - i barely could manage remedial math.), you can't help but wonder what each of these kids lives has in store.

and selfishly - i didn't give a rip about the rest of the 539 kids there. just a certain blond, blue-eyed wonder.

i've known her most of her life. we would all go to Disneyland together, where her mom had started a tradition of taking Christmas card photos in front of the massively gorgeous tree in Main St.

she was (and still is) amazingly beautiful. Brendan & i would push her down Main St. in her stroller, while people would be sitting on the curb, waiting for the parade to start, we would prompt her to wave to the crowds, blow kisses and yell 'see my movie!' to the assembled.

which she did. hey - when you're 3, you're very eager to please.
(and yes, occasionally someone would ask the name of the movie. there still might be some yahoo from Podunk looking for her movie at RedBox)

at 4, she joined up in soccer...where she distinguished herself by being far more interested in the grass daisies than the plays.

when we got married, i asked her mom to be my matron of honor, and her daughter to be my flower girl. her mom was concerned that the girl would do something to 'ruin' the ceremony. i say anything that happened would only be cute - it couldn't ruin a thing.

and while she was very concerned about my gloves that her mom was holding for me, the whole thing went off without a hitch...or any ruined moments.

she got through those gawd-awful pre-teen years relatively unscathed...well, except for the continual teasing of her uncle. she takes care of her younger brother and strives to include him in as many things as she can...even when he has irritated her to the point of no return.

and now she's leaving childhood for a new chapter. a new adventure. again, God alone knows what is in store for her as she travels down new and uncharted territory.

i for one, cannot wait for the next installment.

good luck, class of 2010.

2010-05-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

(first off, thanks to all who emailed and left comments on my bringing in da funk. my intent was to call my doctor this week, but settling back in to a routine after Vegas proved more challenging than even i anticipated. next week is looking much better - and i'll let you know what comes of it. feeling the way i did scared the hell out of me...i'm a person usually in control of those emotions and buddy, feeling out of control was.not.pleasant. moving on...)

next week, one of my best friend's kids graduates from high school...roughly coughcoughchoke30yearscoughcough after her auntie did. and while she's readying for the next phase in her life, i'm currently working with some of my fellow alumni on our next reunion this summer.

and that, of course, makes me feel nostalgic. not only for the youthful optimism we all had back then, but for that youthful metabolism.

dammit.

but again, i digress.

back in the day, when i dreamed of fame (and Donny), i only thought of accolades. awards. making amazing strides in the world of literature...which is what i thought i was gonna do.
life, as always, had other plans.

(but now i have a blog. take that, life!)

looking back, as i'm doing this a.m., i think of niecey-poo...beginning the next Big Adventure, and, as i am wont to do, am imagining myself giving a commencement speech. THIS should keep 'em off drugs, eh?

here goes.

Good evening, and congratulations Class of 2010...you made it! (wait for whooooops to die down)
I realize as you sit there, wearing those stupid hats...seriously, who thought 'hey, let's design a hat that can also double as a coffee table' was a good idea...not to mention those robes, because nine times out of ten, you graduate on a hot June day. And while layers, normally, are good, they're not so good when you aren't sure if you're on the field graduating or in a sauna, sweating.

Sorry. Old people like me tend to ramble on.

Tonight, as you've been hearing for the last few weeks, if not months, while it is an ending, is also a beginning. You'll leave this place different than when you came in - you'll have graduated and will be moving on to the next big adventure...whether it be college, military or working. You may never again be faced with this many choices for your life. Drink it in.

As you do move forward in your life, you'll make choices. Here's some things to ponder about those choices:

1) You will make crappy decisions in your life. Guess what - that's just the way it goes. Like the song says, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Some of the choices you make will rock the world. Others, not so much. Just try to remember to learn from all and glean something out of the experience.
And while we're talking about bad decisions....

2) You will fail at something. What - this isn't the happy feel-good commencement address you were expecting? Wait....
You, you, you and even you waaaaaay in the back, will fail at something. Some will fail miserably while others will fail spectacularly. As the Husband will frequently say - 'you're gonna step on your dick'

Colorful, no?

Here's the good news: despite what the media in all forms will tell you - failure IS an option and is not always bad. After all, a chemist at DuPont failed in an experiment he was working on and ended up creating Teflon. Failure is good - learn from it and move on.

3) Love what you do. Some wag once said if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. Those people also have money up the wazoo. It's very likely you will have to work, and you ain't gonna love it. But find a passion. Find something that makes you happy and excited to get up in the morning. Photography, writing, gardening - whatever trips your trigger - if you find your passion and aren't lucky enough to make it your life's work, you can still be lucky enough to do it...and to share with others.

4) Happiness is not a birthright - it is a daily choice. If you ain't happy, guess what - it ain't your parents fault, not your siblings, your friends or even your dog's fault. That blame, my friends, lands squarely on your shoulders.

Every day we make choices, remember? You can choose happiness, too, even if your situation sucks. You don't have to be happy with the situation, just know that optimism goes a loooooong way in this world - you will live longer and not only that, you will be a thorn in the side of the nay-sayers who will lose their minds wondering what you're on because you're so damn happy all the time.

I'm not saying you should go around with a maniacal smile all the time, plucking daisies like some Ophelia, but choose your attitude daily. Choose to be optimistic. Choose to be proof positive that smiling people are up to something.

There you have it. Four little nuggets and only four because I'm somewhat OCD and I like things bookended. Go out there. Fail. Step on it...and in it. It's the only way you'll really learn, and besides, the adventure is so much more exciting living it than reading about it.

Good luck, and God bless.

happy place found.

2010-05-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

all i can say is, thank GOD i'm not going crazy.

shut up, you.

OK, maybe a little crazy...but not the total full-blown breakdown i thought i was having the last few days.

someone, somewhere, slapped me in the back of the head (think Gibbs in NCIS) and made me think...'hey - maybe this is hormone related?'

and i'm thinking they're right. i did some research...isn't the world-wide-web-wonderful...and found a site that listed a lot of the symptoms/emotions i've been feeling the last few days.

and therefore, after we return from a little RnR in VivaLasVegas, i will be calling the doctor and seeing about some supplements or something that can even me out.

thank God. i feel like a huge weight was lifted from me. the world isn't as dark, there really is light behind those clouds, and the sun will come up...tomorrow, of course.

catch ya on the flip.

find a happy place.

2010-05-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

if you've got your health, you've got everything.

well, i say the advertising genius who came up with that nugget didn't know squat.

OK, we all know i have an occasional tendency to drama. i occasionally overreact. but lately,...

i need a happy place. there's stuff on my plate that i wish there wasn't. the Husband's extended unemployment stint. layoffs at work that i've managed to survive.

and i know for every icky thing in my life, there's at least two things good. the good, nine times outta ten, outweigh the bad.

it's just lately that the bad has taken over the place and the good can't get back in charge. and the good wants to be in charge. badly.

hee hee. get it? badly? oh, never mind.

i'm just miserable and am miserable to be around, i'm sure. and while i'm usually the optimist and the 'sun'll come out tomorrow,' right now, i just can't see it.

things will get better. i just need to roll with it. and i will...as long as i can.

it's the moon, i swear.

2010-04-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

one of the pleasures of growing...um...more mature...is that the things that made our lives hell as teenagers and young adults, doesn't bother us as much or at all.

the drawback is that some of the stuff DOES bother us much more than it did before.

people smacking you around for what they believed you said/did. then after the fact, go on as if nothing happened.

c'mon. seriously? did we not leave this crud back in jr. high/high school? nope? oh. sorry.

how stupid of me to assume people grow up.

another thing that bothers me more now (gentlemen, you might want to turn away for a bit) is...ahem...that time of the month.
i mean honestly, if the plumbing isn't working and doing me a damn bit of good in the baby department, does it really have to rebel and try to claw its way out through my belly?

(BTW, Uterus, if you're reading this, could you please take the belly and part of my arse with you? much obliged.)

i also notice i am FAR more susceptible to the waining of the moon. my mood can change on a dime and woe be unto you if you look at me cross eyed. even if you haven't done anything.
i will kill you and bury your sorry butt somewhere in the Nevada desert. maybe next to Jimmy Hoffa.

on the other hand, i still love daisies, bunnies, puppies, kittens, cute clothes and makeup.

irrational - thy name is Valerie. peace out.

aliens have abducted my brain!

2010-04-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

i was probed!

no, wait - i was probed AND felt up.

no, wait - that might not be too bad.

i was abducted, however...by the fiend known as Facebook.

duuuude. it's totally addicting. not to mention the games i play, farming and such, that my friends laugh at me for doing.

what the heck - they're free for the most part (right Maureen?!) and beats me hanging out at the corner market with my hooligan friends.

oh, wait....i gave up my hooligan friends back in 79. oh well.

besides, when my best friend is HOUNDING me to start blogging again, well, i guess it's easier to do that than to get HER on FB. (hint - hint - hint? stop laughing, K)

and i'd love to entertain you with a long, loving list of what i've been doing since my last post but the sad fact is, nothing i've done has been particularly entertaining. or interesting.

so there you go.
i will try to be a better blogger kids, both here and on the picture gallery.

man. it's good to be free from the aliens. or not.

moving

2009-10-31T10:31:00.000-07:00

come by and see my new digs....luckyshotphoto.blogspot.com

stop by, won't you? i've got lemonade and cookies ready and waiting.

scratched an itch.

2009-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

photography is kinda like crack.

well, to me, anyway.

there are times where i feel like, if i don't take some pictures every.dang.day., i could likely implode.

{kaa-BOOM.}

ok, so i'm a little bit of a drama queen. but dang, it's hard sometimes to not have someone or something cool in my viewfinder.

that's why this, yesterday, was sooooo much fun.

this is the Birthday Girl. she turned one earlier this week and her BIG party was yesterday.

she was such the little princess. and those shoes...gaaaaaaah - kil-ling me. killing.

she knows what a camera does. and she likes it.
she was pretty dang cute, too.

so was she. but this one...

hambone. last October, she wouldn't give ANY camera the time of day.

now? 'hey! j'wanna take my pitchure?'

oh, if i must.

they had a butterfly pinata, and as soon as daddy finally kicked its butt, the carnage commenced.

oh, the humanity!

thank you, Pargas, for letting me share in your fun!

have you checked my calendar lately?

2009-06-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

i've always wanted one of those electronic brains. you know what i mean, the kind that have a phone, camera, calendar, GPS, apps and a bartender.

are you listening AT&T? Sprint?? i could totally use one that maybe has a little spout so i could have a tequila shot when and if i need it.

i'm just saying.

but, since i don't have one of those electronic brains...or real gray matter, for that, i have to rely on paper and pen.

i love paper and pen. i love my calendar, especially when next week looks like this:

Monday: lab work.

Tuesday: spend 15 hours downloading my photo homework to the website and then find that i downloaded them too small. rats.

Wednesday: vacation.

Thursday: vacation.

Friday: vacation.

now i know what you're saying. you're saying, 'hey! valerie!! you JUST CAME BACK FROM VACATION!!!' and you'd be right. but we're heading up to Reno so that we can watch THIS girl

graduate from kindergarten.

(and yes, this is a 3 year old picture. i love it, because i remember that just after i took this, she looked at me with all the disgust a 3YO can muster and said 'you take too many pictures of me.' i replied with, 'if i give you a quarter, will you let me keep taking pictures?' needless to say, she immediately took me up on the offer.)

oh, and so we can also help this guy:

celebrate another birthday.

totally cool.

aaaaaaaaaaaand - while we celebrate the birthday and graduation, the Husband & i will be volunteering at his classes last week of school fun.

cannot wait.

what kind of volunteering, you ask? well, Thursday after graduation, we're off to fill a gajillion water balloons for the water balloon toss (a.k.a. The Fight of the Century. someone's gonna get wet. a LOT of someones are gonna get wet, and i'm gonna do my best to be part of that. some kids are goin' down, that's all i'm saying.)

Friday is the class BBQ. i volunteered the Husband to help man the fire and dawgs on them.

Saturday is the boy's birthday. besides the usual birthday whoopin' that he's gotta get, there will be dirt bike riding (go Dean McQueen!), trampoline jumping, swimming, Rover rides and heaven only knows what.

and i'll probably fill up a memory card on my camera. what a way to go.

cannot wait. can-not.

today, i'm off, with the Husband, to get some photo lovin' on. a 1st birthday party, thrown by a not very nice person for her granddaughter.

it's not that she doesn't love her granddaughter, she just, to me at least, is a very selfish person, who wants all the credit, but doesn't want to do any work. not only does she not want to do any work, she doesn't want anyone else to help, or participate, because then she wouldn't get any of the credit.

selfish? oh youbetcha. matter of fact, at the baby's christening, the not-very-nice person left right after church. because she had tickets for the Long Beach Grand Prix, and didn't want to miss it.

for the party today, she said she was getting a pinata for the party. but she wasn't buying any filling for it.

a class act all the way.

regardless, the birthday girl's auntie (a good friend of mine) and i will make sure it's a fun time today.

and i get to do what i love - have me some photo lovin'

ink me in for your next event, wontcha?

hey! @$*&^%!!!!!

2009-06-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

'round these here parts, we have a lot of papers. now, i don't mean my place, but in the O.C.
there's regular papers, naturally - and the freebees.

my husband has one he likes, the OC Weekly. naturally, it has a lot of restaurant ads, articles, and ads for medical marijuana, piercing/tattoo shops and *ahem* people looking for dates.

what i like, is a small column called 'hey! @$*&%!!!!' and it's where regular joes can bitch out someone - a friend, the clerk at the grocery store, your neighbor, whoever in your life has pissed you off and while you want them to know, you don't want to tell them.

hey - isn't that what a blog is for?

* to the woman behind me at the grocery store yesterday with your two kids, and your flower purchase: i realize the right thing to do would have been to ask you if you wanted to go in front of me, especially since i had several bags of groceries to purchase. but i was tired and i'd been waiting in line for a long time.

that, however, does not give your kids the right to practically dry hump me and the checkout stand.

your son, who i figured was about 10 or 11, is totally old enough to stand still and wait a few minutes in line. your son is definitely old enough to keep his eyes on his own paper, and to not watch me write my check and keep trying to look at my check.

and you did & said nothing.

thanks. thanks for being such an attentive parent.

* to the neighbors at our complex that are apparently Lakers fans: dude. i get it. it was a great game yesterday. here's the thing: the Lakers already have a coach. several, in fact. they don't need you to help coach.

they especially don't need you reliving every play, good and bad. loudly. and they really don't need the repeated use of a certain four letter word. seriously, dude - there are kids here. not to mention the fact that i'm starting to think you really ARE hard up.

* to the "nana" of my friend's niece: thank you for offering to throw your grandchild's birthday party. i appreciate the fact that you recognize the baby parents don't have a lot of money and you want to help.

i don't appreciate the fact that you're doing this half-assed. i get that money's tight - believe me i do. but come on: you say you're buying a pinata, but you won't buy anything to put in it?

you plan the party to start right around lunchtime, but say you're only providing cupcakes? no food? OK. no worries, but at least put that on your invitations.

so you made the invitations by hand? that's totally cool - i love hand-made stuff, and i get how long it takes to do. but i don't get how, when you found out how many people were on the list to invite, that you decided you were done making invitations...especially when all you had to do was go to Target or Walmart or wherever and just get a packet of 'em.

seriously - you either throw a party or you don't. you don't have to go all Beverly Hills on the party, but at least do the right thing for your grandchild. follow through.

one final thing: you don't have to do this alone, y'know. all you have to do is ask and we'd be more than happy to help. but instead, you whine about how you weren't involved in either the baby shower or the christening...but if i remember correctly, you couldn't be bothered with the christening because you had tickets to a race.

just remember: it's all about priorities.

* to the fine, wise, smart & beautiful judges at the OC Fair's photography competition: man - you should totally wear that color more often! it does so much for you and completely brings out your eyes.

speaking of eyes, which are beautiful, by the way, i'm glad you use them to fairly judge the photos you see in the course of the competition this year.

good on you, judges. good on you.

by the way - thanks even more for putting two of mine in the '09 fair.

and i'd really love to see a blue ribbon this year on one of mine.

no pressure, though.

the first day of the rest of my life. again.

2009-05-30T08:20:00.001-07:00

yesterday was my birthday. another year older.
i am 47 years old.

lemme say it again, in case you missed it. f-o-r-t-y-s-e-v-e-n.

gaaaah.

again, if i had known i was gonna live this long, i'd taken better care of myself.
but i didn't, so i might as well start now right?? right???

oh well.

47.

i realize it's not that old in the scheme of things and most days, i don't feel that old. some days, however, i feel much, MUCH older.

like now.

you see, not only did i have a birthday yesterday, i had the distinct honor of being sick -on.my.birthday.

actually, all week. the Husband has had typhoid/yellow fever/creeping crud for almost a week, and i was feeling pretty dang proud of myself that i had avoided it. that was until Wednesday morning came and i was calling the police, trying to report a hit & run on my bum.

and i proceeded to sleep the majority of the time. Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday. well, scratch that...not last night so much.

like a dumbass, i over medicated myself with cough medicine and Mucenix and could NOT get to sleep until about 2:30 this morning...whereupon i immediately woke up at 6:30 with the cheerful May Gray streaming in my face.

stupid sun. there ought to be a law.

and there ought to be a law against being sick on your birthday.

it s-u-u-u-u-u-cks.

did it effect my appetite? unfortunately not, except for the fact that the Husband's tummy did not like him, so therefore i had no appetite.

oh well. soup and grilled cheese is still good.

47. three years away from 50. eight years away from AARP membership.

and i'm still standing. over medicated, but standing.

memorial day.

2009-05-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

salute the standing.
remember the fallen.
and remember it's not all about bbqs, the beach and beer.

on the savannah.

2009-05-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday, i had the opportunity to be a wildlife photographer. photographing birds and wild cats.

in the wilds of Long Beach, at my mother's, who is the Crazy Cat Lady of the neighborhood and somehow got two rather feral cats from the same litter, who got themselves pregnant at about the same time.

did i mention they're both sisters from the same litter? and pregnant at the same time??

good grief.

now, my mom & step-pop has three cats they would claim as their own, and about four others they say aren't, but i say when you feed 'em, then you've got 'em.

and that makes them ripe photo ops for me.

apparently, momma no like her picture being taken.

i think she's praying for the milk bar to close soon.

here's her four. there's another three, a little bigger, but smarter. they won't get near me. this gray one in front is especially sassy, and hisses a tiny hiss like there's no tomorrow. not being easily intimidated, i just laugh, pick 'er up and hold next to my heart. immediately they calm down and almost purr.

almost.

and they play a lot of tag.

then there was this birdie.

not sure what kind this was, helping itself to the free buffet at the birdfeeder, but it was pretty. if you know, will you tell me? (i say a robin, but apparently we don't get robins in Mostly Smoggy Southern California.)

i don't know what it is, but it is pretty.

now all i have to do is wait for National Geographic to call.

the happiest place on earth.

2009-05-23T07:53:00.001-07:00

so after the last post, i believe it's time for something a little happier. don't you?

so here it goes.

after Vegas with Kristie & her family, my sister-in-law, her husband and the Cutest Kids in Reno, came down for a visit. my brother in law had training classes all week, and since they were close, hey! let's go to Disneyland all week.

thus began what i called the DDM. Disneyland Death March.

and who better to go on a march with than people i love? and did i mention i love taking pictures? and did i also mention i love taking pictures of way super-cute kids at Disneyland?

just as good as seeing Donny & Marie.

oh yeah. just.as.good.

the Cutest Kids in Reno with the Cutest Mom in Reno. and the Cutest Husband in Buena Park. (you KNOW i HAD to put that one in)

i always heard about the Golden Hour: an hour before sunrise, the hour after sunset, where the sun casts a golden glow around. but i had never experienced it in any photos i ever took. i'm a believer now.
the Girl was quite excited about meeting the Mouse. the Boy, however, at 8 3/4, is a little too grown up to get his picture taken with them.

i'm cool with that.

they went on every ride we could. the scary ones? not a problem - well...except for the Tower of Terror and the roller coaster California Screamin'. the Girl 'did NOT like that ride.'

and proceeded to tell everyone she met about them. however, she LOVED Space Mountain.

and again, proceeded to tell everyone she met.

this is what it looks like when Auntie buys you a Slurpee.
oh yeah. this does my heart good, seeing the young'un taking pictures. even if it is pictures of funny signs & trash cans.

i love photo rich environments.

and photo rich targets, too.

thanks Maureen, for letting me share in your kids', and your life.

times a-wasting.

2009-05-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

*WARNING: the following post could cause crying, tightening of the chest and uncontrollable urges to go hug like there's no tomorrow your kids, your significant other and, quite possibly, your dog. or cat. i'm easy.*

the letter started out easily enough.

"dear mom & dad, every 15 minutes, someone dies as a result of an alcohol-related accident."

then it turned. badly.

"today, i died."

the letter is a part of this program. a woman i work with has two boys in high school and one of them was 'chosen' to be killed in a crash and had to write this letter.

the program selects some kids to be 'killed'. some were driving the car drunk that killed their friends. the 'killed' ones wore black all day and could not speak to any of their friends during the day.

then, right before lunch (ed. note: never EVER plan any gut-wrenching assembly right before lunch. it's just wrong.), the school had an assembly where they read obituaries on each of the 'dead' kids.

and the moms cried.

hell, i cried, just thinking about the pain that parents DO feel when their kids, their friends, their loved ones are killed as a result of drunk/buzzed/no-really-i'm-OK-to-drive driving.

every 15 minutes.

i'm lucky. no one i knew or cared about was ever hurt or killed in a drunk driving accident, or as a result of one. well...wait. that's not exactly true.

my mom & i were.

i had turned 20, we were on our way home, less than 1/2 a mile from our home in fact, and making a left turn on to our street.

the only thing i remember is my mom saying 'oh shiiii...' the next thing we were spinning like a completely psycho Tea Cup from Disneyland.

when i realized what had happened, there was a huge face at my window, banging on the glass, asking me if i was OK.

and all i could think was 'lady, i'd be a lot better if you'd stop yelling and banging. you're making my headache worse.'

we were lucky. no. blessed. the Hand of God was truly on us that day, because the idiot that hit us was doing at least 60MPH coming down the hill as he hit us. he t-boned us just past the right passenger door.

a few inches more and my mom might not have been here. the cops said that i definitely would not be here, because the force of the impact would have probably flung me out of the car.

oh, and did i mention we didn't wear seatbelts? didn't have to then. we did after that.

nothing serious in the way of after-effects. broken nose (me), bruised ribs (both), a huge dent in my mother's leg where she was jammed into the steering wheel.

who cares about a dent or bruising. we're both still alive.

so, while the idea of 'every 15 minutes' seems shocking at first, and the realization of every parents nightmare, i agree with their philosophy: if it saves just one life, it was so worth it.

go now. hug someone (or several someones) you love. because today is short and tomorrow's never EVER a guarantee.

and you never know what the next 15 minutes may bring.

Vegas, Baby.

2009-05-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

the Friday before Mother's Day, the Husband & i joined my best friend, her kids & mom for a trip to Vegas.

Vegas. the hot bed of heat, buffets, shows and the Loosest Slots on the Strip!!

well at least that's what most of the casinos say. i can't figure out how every casino can be sooo huge and still have the most money give-aways.

we stayed at the same place we did last year - South Point, which, ironically, is at the south point of the Strip on Las Vegas Blvd.

for Friday night and most of Saturday, it was a girls' trip. Brendan stayed behind with Kristie's son for a Scouting event on Saturday. and the girls made the most of it.

and, where Vegas is, shows will be also. there's a lot of them out there and it seems like dang near every casino has a Cirque du Soleil show.

but the Tropicana has this.

(and it's really fun for me to bounce up & down in the car every time we passed the Trop, especially with the HUGE banner on the side of the building with their faces on it. )

and i went.

*giggle*

in our hotel, there was a mini travel agency that also sold half price Vegas tickets. the problem was trying to decide what show we should see that we could without making the boys upset that they missed that show.

and believe me, missing Donny & Marie would not bother the Husband one bit.

so while Kristie and her mom went to see this, the 16 YO said, sure, i'll go with you to see Donny & Marie.

wait...what?

so off we went.

so what if we had balcony seats? well, i ended up caring when Donny started walking across the tables at the stage level.

dagnabbit.

it was a killer show. they danced - seriously danced with lots of sweat. there was lots of their typical bro/sis ribbing and yes, the 16YO really loved the show...so much so that yes, she wants to borrow auntie's cd/dvds...much to her mother's chagrin.

at one point, Donny made a rather sexified move and she whooped, at which point i felt it necessary to remind her that she just whooped at a 51 YO grampa.
yep. THAT freaked her out.

i love him.

i really, really love him. Brendan knows. he's used to it.

so while Brendan & i won no money, Kristie's mom did. she ended up coming home with some nice change, courtesy of video poker.

dang - i need to get better at that.

i might be able to get better seats next time i go to Donny & Marie.

alive. well. not living in Peru.

2009-05-17T22:14:00.001-07:00

in the beginning - there was a blog. and it was updated regularly.

and it was good.

then cameth writers block and it verily sucketh.

then cameth a trip to Vegas, tickets to see Donny and Marie and a visit from my sister in law with her two kids. and a death march for three days across Disneyland.

and it was good, too. yea, verily.

but behold - i am still aliveth and will posteth more on the morrow.

and pictures shall follow.

something's missing.

2009-04-26T06:37:00.001-07:00

besides me, that is.

*sigh* i don't know what the deal is. normally, writing for me is right up there with, oh, let's say eating hot bread with lotsa butter.

lately though - not so much.

i'm not sure what's going on with me. but, because i'm fairly sure no one wants to read a diatribe on a pity party that i'm throwing...please byob, by the way...here's the run-down on what's been going on.

you can skip to the end if you want.

did you know i have a bad attitude? apparently complaining to someone about someone else breaking rules was the wrong thing to do. i'd say more on that later, but who knows who reads this.

now i'm paranoid. great.

step-pop healing nicely from the surgery. apparently so much so that he's back to driving my mom to the edge of sanity...which, really is where most of my family is on a day-to-day basis.

Cutest Kids in Reno, along with their parents come down for A WHOLE WEEK next month. and, in between filling up memory cards with their mugs, getting smothered (and smothering them) in grimy hugs & kisses, chasing the 6 year old (come BACK HERE NOW!!!) and what not, their mother and i will do the Disneyland Deathmarch. and remember at the end of each and every day why it is that the Lord gives children to the young.

heading to Vegas the weekend of mother's day with the Cutest Kids in Hesperia AND their mother AND their grandmother. conspiring with the mother to go on a pub crawl throughout Vegas and make the teenager be the designated driver. that should make her 'just say no.'

Husband still sort of unemployed. he's currently helping a man who owns a training school by handing out fliers at factories, warehouses and such, then helps him train the students. so at least there's a bit of mad money coming in, but the economy still sucks.

up side (a small one) to being unemployed most of the year? we become the favorites of Uncle Sam and get a really, REALLY nice refund this year. even from the Great State of Cal-ee-forn-eye-aye, which hasn't happened in years. i always end up paying them.

working a lot of overtime lately - and while the money's nice, i can tell i'm getting old. i don't bounce back from it like i used to. getting old is wrong.

since i AM working overtime, i decided to splurge and give myself a present - i signed up for this. what really sold me: i have to turn in photos and have them critiqued. niiiice.

friday @ work, i got a plaque celebrating my 20 years of service with the Company, which is great, except that i've been there 22 years. oh well, better late than never.

and that, Gentle Reader, is why i call this Random Thoughts.

cropping for fun and profit! -or- how you too can learn to stop worrying and enjoy the process.

2009-03-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

that has GOT to be the longest blog title i've ever written.

but i digress. and look! a new record for my attention span; i've digressed in the first sentence.
gooooooooooooooooooooooo me!

anyway -
it occurred to me today how cropping a photo can make it go from 'eh', to 'eeeeee gods! what photographic genius took this miraculous snippit of nature?!'

and i do realize that this isn't new to anyone else. nor will it cure the world's ills and set Wall Street back on its merry little cash-making way, but it was just one of those things that the more i thought of it, the more i realized what a difference it can make.

let me demonstrate.

here's our cat. Elvis the Evil Wunderkat. a blah photo. an eeeee-vil gleam in his eyes. but! through the wonders of cropping....

now you can see how evilly his eyes gleam. and how i SO needed to pick up the extension cord from the floor.

let's try another example, shall we? roadside daisies before...and - through the miracle of the crop tool...why look! a bouquet of daisies fit enough to grace a table.

just one more to bore you with. but it never ceases to amaze me how a photo, like this of my niece, while still good....can, with a little time and care, be transformed into something that just takes my breath away.

and hopefully, that of the judges in this year's OC Fair.

yes - with just a little care and experimentation, kids, you too can take photos to another level. amaze your friends! confound your enemies!

just don't expect it to work miracles for things like this:

after all, i am NOT a miracle worker.

is there such a thing as decision makers anonymous?

2009-03-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

i need help.
other than the normal.

i am completely incapable of making a decision.

now don't get me wrong, some things i still have capacity in decision making.
go to the bathroom? it's a go. (pun intended)
eat when i'm hungry? good to go. (however, what to eat is still a matter for debate)
go to work? a go, although when i win the Big Jackpot, it will quickly become a no-go.
update the blog regularly?

well....

although, when it comes to picking three photos for possible entry in the local fair, well - i choke up tighter than a politician who was asked if he (or she) ever inhaled.

just for the record, my fellow Americans: no, i have never.

but pick three photos? gaaaaah. it becomes Sophie's Choice - the Remake. only substitute me for Meryl, Brendan for Kevin and the dang photos for my babies.

because that's what they become to me, you know. they become my children. and heaven knows i can't pick one over the other - that would be wrong. the others would have hurt feelings. they might plot together when i'm not in the room and decide to gang up on me in the middle of the night and....

ooops. sorry. that's what i used to think about my toys when i was a kid. really, now i only have a slight twitch from those electro-shock treatments.

seriously - it's the hardest thing ever. of course, some i love more than others, but what kills me is trying to balance what i have/do against what i saw at the fair last year AND to hold them up against what i remembered won.

which is impossible. remember: i have goldfish memory.

so let's see: i have goldfish memory AND i cannot make a decision.

shoot me. but make sure you get my good side.

last year at the fair, i just remember pictures were HUGE. the Fair want them at a minimum framed size of 8x10, going up to 32x32. i had printed my ladybug from last year at 5x7 and remember thinking, d-a-a-a-a-ang. this is BIG.

then i got to the fair and thought, d-a-a-a-a-ang. i've got a postcard up there.

now here's one of my many problems. i am Queen of the Control Freaks. i (possibly) can pick three photos. i can submit them. IF one or (heaven help me) all three are chosen, then i've got to have them framed. black frame, white mat, Plexiglas preferred. all within the span of about 3 weeks before i have to take them down to the fairgrounds for judging. which also happens about the same time as graduation here and last year i dealt with the local frame shops up to their necks in jobs before graduation.

once again, early planning seems to be the key. a plus for us control freakos.

that's all based on any of them being chosen. last year, i was one of 300 chosen out of a field of 3000 submitted. i'm not telling you this to pat myself on the back...

well, OK. maybe i am.

BUT! my point is this: there's a LOT of peeps in the OC that love photography as much as i do. some more, i'm sure. and there are a WHOLE LOT more of 'em that are a WHOLE LOT better than me. and to say i've got as good a chance as any of the others is, well...wrong.

better ones are going to win. some of the time. Brendan thinks the only reason i didn't win last year was because my ladybug wasn't big enough.

remember kids: size DOES matter. bigger IS better.

then, of course, there's this: let's say i go ahead and print my three submissions super large. get 'em framed and ready to go. then, let's say from my three, the Fair only picks one, or maybe all. then what do i do with these three huge framed pictures after the fair is over?!

i live in an apartment. we do not have a wing for the art we've collected. and as much as i love my niece, i do not want her sweet baby blue eyes gazing down at me from the ceiling while her auntie saws logs.

or anything else.

so you see - that's the vicious circle i spin myself into. i worry about them getting chosen, and i worry if they don't...and what to do with the products after the fact. i.need.help.

wait - i've got it. i can sell 'em on eBay!

or maybe i should try Etsy.

crap. another decision. i am sooooo screwed.

up the river: a tale of a pacemaker.

2009-03-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

my stepfather had a pacemaker installed today.

oh and butt implants.

OK, not really, but dammit, he's 82. he needs a butt.

the surgery went very well. i was amazed at how much color he had when i went to to see him afterwards. looked great. sounded good.

wanted to get out of bed to pee. that's how i know we're family.

AND he got lasagna, salad, broccoli, a lemon bar AND coffee for dinner. (and i had Thai food. i got the better end of the deal!)

so during our stint at Memorial Hospital, my mom took my darling husband in to visit, leaving me to watch the purses and what not.

that's when the fire alarm went off.
and the magnetized door to the waiting room shut automatically.
oh crap.

i had this image of me trying to get out the building, carrying two purses, one tote (filled with a sammich, water, 2 romance novels and pepto. that was my mom's) and one backpack (filled with a police scanner, manual and book. that was my husband's)while trying to let them both know that i was still alive, unsmoked and unsinged.

but, since i smelled no smoke and no one was running around trying to avoid being singed and smoked, i decided i was OK.

it was annoying, though, listening to the chiming of the alarm. at least it was somewhat pleasant.

it was about to get worse.

my parents, who are notorious for not telling things...important things, decides to call my step-niece, her step granddaughter. and tell her what's going on.

because the niece knows nothing of the surgery.

and so, in the course of the conversation, when my mom mentions that i'm there with her, the niece declares that i will die for not telling her.

my mom fails to mention that i was sworn to secrecy by both of them to not tell the granddaughter or my stepfather's son.

sold up the river. by my own mother. the one person in the world i thought would stand by me through thick and thin.

just apparently not when it comes to saving her own butt.

remind me, if my mom ever gets a pacemaker, no butt implants for her.

diabetic diatribe - vol. 1

2009-03-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

before we delve into today's subject, a request.

my stepfather is having pacemaker surgery Wednesday...installed, for the first time. my mother is nervous..and considering he's 81, well...it does make for some nervous moments.

of course, i'll let you know how it goes.

so. it's been a week tomorrow since i got privy to the news. a week since i started meds for the rest of my life and a week since my life changed.

but not the drama queen part. heck, i've been a master at that for most of my life.

anywhoooo -

yesterday, i got my very first test meter. i had one all picked out: it was tiny and cute and came in different colors. apparently, however, my doctor doesn't seem to fall for my ideas.

it's still small, but it's blue. i'm cool with that, but it sure ain't pink.

dang.

today i started monitoring me blood. yarrrrr. i'm checking 2-3 times a day, but today was a lot more, mostly because i'm still getting used to the dang thing. earlier this a.m., i was talking to my friend and fellow diabetic (i'm not only the president of the anti-sugar shack, i'm also a member!) and was whining about my delicate fingers getting some serious bruising because of the blood testing and not only that! i am bleeding all over the place.

stuck pig? thy name is me.

i asked what she kept her lance at. there are numeric setting on the lance so you can go thick or shallow...depending on you and your preference. she said her's was at three, which mine was as well. kinda low, really, but still! i'm starting to look like i'm rehearsing a scene from "Psycho! The Musical!"

this, cannot be good.

i've decided at this point that i need to go as low as i possibly can. and i move on.

then later in the day, i pass by her desk in time to see her checking her own blood, and i notice something...

she has the cap on her lance.

i do not.

well no freaking wonder i'm the Old Faithful of diabetics. i'm practically sticking a dagger in my finger.

so what have we learned today? for starters, that for someone that has had lot of experience with diabetics, i have NO idea what in the hell i'm doing. secondly is the fact that knowledge wise, i've got a long, long way to go.

and lastly - here's a stock tip: invest in Band-Aids. i'm single handily cornering the market in 'em.

i'm sensing a new book in my library: the Idiot's Guide to Diabetes.

today is the first day of the rest of your life.

2009-03-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

how trite.
how dramatic.
how me.

today was the first day i started taking daily meds.

yes, Gentle Reader, (and it was actually yesterday) i became one of the millions of Americans that has diabetes AND high cholesterol.

and neither one is really all that bad. it's just a change in lifestyle. an opportunity to make smarter decisions regarding my life and my eating habits. a chance to....

oh, who am i kidding? THIS SUCKS, THIS SUCKS, THIS SUCKS!!!!!

now granted, the cards was stacked against me; both my mother and grandmother are diabetic. my husband is, although the doctor assured me you can't get diabetes by injection.

sorry - too much info? moving on.

now while i know the chances were good that i'd get it, i tried to keep the attitude that it didn't necessarily guarantee that i would get it. but dang, it still slapped me across the face.

and dang it further, it's not like my AC1 (the measure of sugar in your blood) was outrageous... it should be at 6 or below and i'm at 7.3.

come on. stupid head.

but - it's OK. i know this doctor is young and aggressive...and really, REALLY cute. he's also Brendan's doctor, and what i've always liked about him is that he doesn't let Brendan get away with nothing.

but dammit, that means i don't get away with anything, either.

and did i mention he's really, really cute?! i already decided that any 'girlie' exams will be performed by the office's PA. not him. nope. ain't no way he's seeing my hoo-hoo.

that would involve extensive sprucing and heck, if i'm not a doing it for the Husband, it certainly wouldn't be good to do it for my doctor.

although it might be a good opportunity to try & carve that Chargers bolt i always wanted.

what - too much?

stupid.

2009-03-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

there are people out there that are stupid.

i'll give you a minute to let that set in.

yep, i know. really? stupid people in the world?? how can that be?!

a couple of weeks ago, we were watching some show that was exactly how stupid you can be, and still walk upright. the would-be Mensa applicant tried to rob a convenience store. the old coot behind the counter, after refusing to hand over the money, THEN electronically locked the door, AND locked himself behind the bulletproof glass.

*snicker*

and our aspiring thief was actually begging for the cashier to open the door with the ever-popular, "c'mon, man, i cain't (yes, not a typo) go back t'jail."
(p.s. - he was a skinny, stringy, greasy white boy)

Grampa behind the counter opened the sliding window half an inch (which made me yell at the TV, 'oh NO! don't do that, dummy!) and spat back, "well, then y'all shoulda thought o' that 'fore y'all tried to rob my ass."

yep. Grampa said ass.

which brings me to today's installment of stupid.

dude goes to John Wayne airport. dude is going to fly to Philadelphia, with a stop in Vegas, because dude got out of the Navy just a few weeks ago.

dude was wearing baggy pants. but underneath his baggy pants, was wearing bicycle pants. and inside those pants was cocaine.

d-u-u-u-u-d-e. you're stupid. like no one's gonna notice you're wearing baggy pants?

go to jail. go directly to jail. do not pass go. do not be a stupid-head.

stranger things have happened. as usual.

2009-03-08T20:48:00.001-07:00

for whatever reason, i am remembering, fondly, a poetry reading my school held back when i was in 6th grade.

and for those of you keeping track, that was approximately 36 years ago.

dammit.

so - here it is. the poem i had to memorize and recite. i couldn't remember all of it, so i had to resort to Google...but i'm not ashamed.

come on, it was 36 summers and springs ago.

Every Time I Climb a Tree

Every time I climb a tree
Every time I climb a tree
Every time I climb a tree
I scrape a leg
Or skin a knee
And every time I climb a tree
I find some ants
Or dodge a bee
And get the ants
All over me.

And every time I climb a tree
Where have you been?
They say to me
But don't they know that I am free
Every time I climb a tree?

I like it best
To spot a nest
That has an egg
Or maybe three.

And then I skin
The other leg
But every time I climb a tree
I see a lot of things to see
Swallows rooftops and TV
And all the fields and farms there be
Every time I climb a tree
Though climbing may be good for ants
It isn't awfully good for pants
But still it's pretty good for me
Every time I climb a tree

by David McCord

string 'em up.

2009-03-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

riddle me this, kids: who's brilliant idea was it to cap off a hour off my weekend?

mamma.do.not.like.

even as a kid, i would shake my fist every time Daylight Savings Time rolled around. then, as now, i
HATED it.

hated losing an hour of sleep. especially when i sleep like crap half the time, anyway. hated feeling like i had just gone to sleep and BAM! i'm waking up again.

stupid alarm. stupid job. stupid need for money.

don't get me wrong, i get the whole idea of conserving energy, electricity, blah, blah, blah. but isn't it all about me? and if it is, then shouldn't the Powers That Be, be concerned about how this crap effects me? after all, the Powers That Be now have an hour of mine that they say i'll get back in six months. without interest.

kinda like my income tax refund, only i don't get to spend it.

it makes me think i should move to Arizona, since they don't observe DST.

then again, Arizona slapped us with a huge tax on our rental car when we honeymooned there, so they could build the Diamondback stadium. we didn't even get a ticket to the game. Arizona doesn't observe Dr. Martin Luther King day, either.

and most importantly to me...it's hottern the hinges of hell there in the summer.

on second thought, i think i'll just stay here, sleepy in my smogberry treehouse.

if you're happy and you know it, the meds must have kicked in.

2009-03-05T19:14:00.001-08:00

i know. i stole that from my facebook profile.

but i could seriously use some meds right now.

first off: the Husband had interview #2,457, 632 with the company that's teasing...er, courting him. now of course, he's tormenting himself with 'oh crap, i said this, this and this wrong.'

meds. now.

work today was meeting upon meeting upon meeting. then, a friend of mine at work, who apparently isn't as good a friend as i thought...well - let's leave it at i got the shaft when i needed support.

meds, meds, meds.

at least it's almost Friday...there's a weekend to be savored. hopefully, photos to be taken, a soul to be fed with all that is beautiful and joy and love in the world.

and meds.

so while i lick my wounds and heal my feelers, i'll check for meds to make me happy.
they're contained in the pint of Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake sitting in my freezer.

hugs to my girl, Kristie.

2009-03-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

gramma will be missed.

prayers, please for my girl and her family - gramma passed in her sleep this a.m. and even if i did try to kill her by catapulting her from her wheelchair once, she still liked me.

or at least pretended to.

i'll miss you Sylvia.

oh mercy. she's at it again.

2009-03-03T17:29:00.000-08:00

see the badge on the right there? yeah, that one, with the camera and the black & gold?

yep. i'm at it again.

it's another photo contest...but one that i don't have a photo in. let me explain.

what's your dream assignment is all about you. what's your dream? if you could go anywhere in the world and photograph anything, what would it be?

mine is kinda mushy. but it's an idea i've been mulling around for a year or so. i would love to travel and find my friends, both on the 'net and family we have around the world and find out why they love who they love. how did they meet? what made them fall in love with the other? and more importantly, why do they stay together?

so it's pretty easy. if you want to vote for me, go to the badge on the right, click pic it, and log in. and yes, you'll have to create an account here, and if you decide to enter your own idea, for heaven's sake, tell me so i can vote for you, too.

after you get registered, you can log in, then come back here to pic me...again on the badge.

a little complicated, i know. but remember that dreams are work.

keep dreaming.

2009-03-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

this is what being stupid looks like.

oh, i know. they look like ordinary news vans. parked and ready to transmit. but trust me, this is exactly what stupid is.

you see, i work in Los Alamitos. yes, that Los Alamitos...and just in case you haven't heard, this is going on.
and my company is right next door to the city council/mayor office AND for the last week, there have been a steady stream of news vans.

tonight is the city council meeting, and Mayor Stupid is expected to not only step down as mayor but from the city council as well.

normally, i stay away from things like religion. politics. spiderwebs and bees. but here, well...nope.

Forrest Gump said it best, 'Stupid is as stupid does.' this guy was beyond stupid. then to claim he didn't know the cartoon was derogatory, well - that makes him ultra stupid.
especially when he said he didn't understand it, then why would you send it?

u-g-l-y, you ain't go no alibi, you guilty. and ugly.

so kids, and parents, the next time you start to send something, or say something, racial or not, just remember this: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

everything, everything has a price. and this is the price of stupid.

don't be stupid.

one more shameless plug.

2009-02-25T20:52:00.001-08:00

Saturday is the last day for this contest. if you haven't, can you please vote for my photo?
you need to be a member of Facebook to do so, so if you haven't joined, you'll have fun if you do.

and you might find kids you went to high school with. and wonder how we all got old.

the interview you WON'T see on TMZ.

2009-02-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

from the next host of the CBS Evening News...an in-depth interview with yours truly. i'm sure you'll find it hard-hitting and also recognize that i don't shy away from the really tough questions.

let me know if you want to play, er....be interviewed.

but i warn you - i don't play nice.

1. What do you consider your most precious material possession?
that's easy - the camera. aka precious. i don't leave home without it.

2. How did you meet your handsome husband and what was the first thing that made you stop and say, "Ahhh...now THIS guy is special!"?
i met Brendan on a blind date - set up by my best friend and her mom. we met @ Disneyland right before Christmas. i can't really think of just one thing that made me say "this guy is special," well - actually i can, but i can't share because it's a little embarrassing. let's just say it had to do with him thinking i was pretty. even after 8 hours at an amusement park.

3. You have just won 40 million dollars...what'cha gonna do now?
1) buy a house. 2) pay off bills. 3) travel.travel.travel. 4)set up some kind of children's charity. 5) did i mention travel?

4. We all know you love photography, and that you are darned good at it! Do you have one image of which you are most proud?
ooooh - a tough question, but a fair one. i gotta say, they're all like my children. i can't say i love one more than the other. and, not that i would admit this to my kids (so i never say it while i'm downloading or editing): my favorite today may not be my favorite tomorrow.

5. You answer that knock on your door and there stands Donny Osmond. You....
(laughs) is that before or after i pass out?! well, since we're both married i know there's not a single chance that either of us would do anything...so i imagine i would do one of two things. 1) act like a complete idiotic 15 year old, fling myself at him, screaming & crying and have to be picked off by some burly security guard or 2) try to be totally cool, invite him in for a cool refreshing beverage and then embarrass the beejeebers out of myself by offering him a beer or diet Coke. then i would cry, embarrassing myself further, and then end up taking a picture of the two of us.
then i would have a new favorite photo.

it's a good day, all the way around.

2009-02-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

today was my best friend's kid's 12th birthday.

12 years. d-u-u-u-d-e. why, it seems like just yesterday i was changing your diaper, and...
never mind. i gotta save that story for his first date.

Kristie called and asked if we would come up & meet them for brunch, then off to mini golf/laser tag. and so up the hill we went to their place for bananas foster over ice cream and mimosas.

life, as they say, is gooooood.

happy birthday coleymoleyfazolieguacamole.

after brunch, we drove over to the local fun center to play indoor glow-in-the-dark mini golf and laser tag.

thank heavens we only played for 15 minutes. any more than that and i swear to you, the paramedics would've been called for the adults. we were sweaty icky masses.

and by the way, what's up with these young uns picking on the old broad and shooting the crap out of me? sheesh.

whippersnappers.

so much fun. even if i am too dang old to be running around shooting after a bunch of kids AND adults.

good times indeed.

because poop is funny.

2009-02-16T20:45:00.001-08:00

many thanks to my Kristie for this one. it was the best giggle i had all dang day.

and apparently her as well.

see this picture?

or, more accurately, THIS part of the picture:

yep. completely missed that the cow is ready to, um....let 'er fly.

which, i realize for people like Linda, or Ree, is no big. poop happens.

but dang. it sure is funny.

so, to not offend you, Gentle Reader (and to make it so that every time i see this picture the only see i see is, well...), i have edited said picture.

*snicker*

happy Monday pt2, tomorrow.

here we go again...

2009-02-16T13:02:00.001-08:00

interview #3 @ 3pm today.

i did my best peptalk before he left: it's only an interview, it's not life or death, i'm not leaving you even if you DON'T get the job...blah, blah, blah.

and i do talk a mean b.s.

so, i'm off to take some pictures and hopefully it'll keep my mind off the whole stressful time.

but i doubt it.

updates to come - hopefully followed by a employment start date.

edited: he just called, a little bummed. after dang near three hours interviewing, there's MORE interviews to come; they want him now to interview with another mucky-muck in the company, the managers he would be working with AND their client.

let's talk about frustrating, shall we?

stimulating the economy - at home and a broad.

2009-02-13T17:35:00.001-08:00

hmmm. rather TITilating, TITle, wouldn't you say?

c'mon - 'stimulating'? 'broad'? 'TITilating'????

that's funny. because i still have a junior high sense of humor. don't believe me? check this out.

so - after a horrible, angst-filled day yesterday, and a beyond boring, horrifying and humorous night at school last night...

horrifying & humorous you say? read on...

last night, i'm at photo class, waiting for it to start, playing solitaire on my Nintendo DS. there's a woman in front of me and a man next to me (the very same man who gave the most gawd-awful, boring lecture on Adobe Lightroom - for a moment, i was back in beginning algebra, wishing for death to take me.) and another woman next to him.

those two were chatting away, with the woman in front of me occasionally jumping in the conversation, then jumping out again.

then -

woman in front of me turns around to the other two. chipper as can be. "oh, i've wanted to ask! how's your husband liking retirement?"

wait for it....

"he died. two years ago."

you could've cut that silence with a knife.

the woman in front of me apologized most profusely. wishing, as i know i was, for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. and while i was horrified, feeling terrible for this poor woman, at the same time, i was biting the inside of my lip, realizing the black humor in the situation.

and black humor for me rocks.

after a few minutes, woman in front of me got up, walked over and apologized most profusely to the other woman, who accepted it graciously. as she should.

the boring part - the man next to me who did the presentation on Lightroom. (linda, my friend, you should've been there. he would've cured your insomnia in a heartbeat.)

i dang near dislocated my jaw several times during the presentation. and high tailed it out of there at break.

so today, my mom & i had a date to hit the Scrapbook Expo, down in the OC Fairgrounds. i sometimes dread these dates, only because my mom, God bless her, canNOT get around worth a darn, and does not recognize her own limitations. so - she does too much, messes herself up again, and THEN my stepfather gets mad at ME because I was the one who invited HER.

so, after a so-so shopping experience, in the rain, we came home. and before i could share my limited purchase with the Husband, he announced his own economic stimulus package:

he has a third interview up in Chatsworth next week.

i was ready to rejoice, when he said that they had called and scheduled it for next Wednesday, THEN they called again and moved it up to Monday - at 3:30 p.m.

(not that i understand why it is that these people don't understand that AFTER the interview, the Husband has to drive home. in prime drive time gridlock.)

now there is much rejoicing in the land - not about the gridlock, about the third interview.

makes me almost wish i had bought more stuff today.
more to follow.

B's Big Day - Part Two.

2009-02-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

after a 2 hour & 20 minute interview, he's still not employed.
but he's a little closer - and has one more person to interview with.

at least this time they told him more about the company: health plans, 401k, stuff like that.

y'know - the IMPORTANT stuff.

he's thinking he wants to buy a round trip ticket on Metrolink (our local commuter train service) just to see how long it would take from here, to L.A. (where he'd have to change trains) to Chatsworth.

then he heard from the company in Mission Viejo (remember? the one with FOUR INTERVIEWS) that they are considering him for a temporary position OR that they decided to take the one job he interviewed for and split it into two jobs and that he could be a candidate for that.

all the while, he found a few more possibilities and turned in resumes.

*sigh* the saga, unfortunately, continues.

B's Big Day.

2009-02-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

fingers crossed?
check.
four leaf clovers picked?
check.
rabbit's foot rubbed?
check.
wishbone pulled?
check.
goat sacrificed?
ch...um - check that.

the Husband has an interview today - it's up in East Egypt, but hey - it's a job. i'm very interested in becoming one less of the 8-10% of the unemployed in this country.
and i know he is too.

updates to follow.

there is a disturbance in the Force.

2009-02-09T04:43:00.000-08:00

here, in Mostly Smoggy Southern California, we are currently experiencing a phenomena that has, quite literally, set the populous on its ear.

it's been raining.

rain, i realize is no big thing. heck, in the Land of My Peoples (aka Oregon), it's a common occurrence.
here, not so much.

it's been raining off and on for the last three days. and, while just one day of rain is frustrating, have it rain for that many days and you can watch my fellow citizens slowly be driven insane.

Southern Californians have no idea how to deal with rain...or any weather for that matter. as a society that lives in our cars on the freeway, when it does rain, the experts tell us to slow down.

it.doesn't.work.

people here do one of two things as they drive in the rain: they freak out and s-l-o-w w-a-a-a-a-y d-o-w-n, or freak out and drive like maniacs.

wait. we drive like maniacs anyway.

while the rain makes my Husband depressed, it makes me feel all giddy inside. i would be perfectly happy watching it rain for hours.

just not from the inside of my car.

speaking of us driving like maniacs...when the Husband and i were commute dating (he lived in San Diego County, about an hour and a half from where i lived), before i discovered the glory & wonder that was the train, i drove.

and i could tell you, without even seeing a sign, what county i was in just by the way folks were driving. in San Diego, if you wanted to change lanes, the attitude was "cool, dude. just go for it, save the whales, heal the bay and stay cool." by the time i would hit the O.C., it was "duuuude. do you really have to change lanes? OK, then - be cool."

in L.A., it was "dude. change lanes and i will bust a cap in yer ass."

driving here is fun. pack (heat) accordingly.

in unemployment news...
a couple of weeks ago, the Husband had his 4th interview with a company in the O.C.
they sent a Dear John letter, stating that they've decided to not fill the position, due to the recent economic downturn.

really? recent? where HAVE you been?

but he does have another interview with a company in Chatsworth on Tuesday. the rumor is that they really, really like him; i just hope they really, really hire him.

Chatsworth, by the way, is about 45 minutes from us. not a fun drive.

especially when it rains.

a story of headshots and ketchup.

2009-02-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

which, i think, could win as one of my weirdest titles yet.

first ketchup.

Friday, my friend Melissa, had just about decided to get a camera like mine. we were ready to go to Costco @ lunch, because they've got a good deal with the body, two lenses, a camera bad, 2gb memory card...all for about $1000.

but...they didn't offer an extended warranty, and Melissa wanted that. so we looked online (i know, we should be working, but it's just SO BORING.) and found one @ Best Buy, who does offer an extended warranty.

so i called Brendan and said, come meet us there - then we'll EAT.

because fat girls love to eat.

so after looking at their deal, which was just the camera, one lens, an extra battery and a camera bad, Melissa decided she wanted to wait and find a deal more like mine.
(who could blame her - i found out my telephoto lens that i got with my camera costs about $600. oy.)

now comes dinner.
we headed over to Sizzler for cheap steak & lobster...yum. and as we sat, giggling and having a great time, i suddenly felt something hit me in the side of the head.

since it was raining Friday, the first thing i did, of course, was look up to see if there was a leak.
nope.
felt the side of my head, now thinking perhaps some smart-ass kid shot a spit-wad my way.
nope.
so i turn to my friend & husband and say - IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY HAIR?????
yep.

there was a blob of ketchup in my hair. KETCHUP.IN.MY.HAIR.
now, of course, being the mature grown-ups we are, we all start giggling hysterically, while Melissa wipes it out of my hair.

the only thing i can figure, is, when the busboys were cleaning the table next to us, somehow they flung it up and over.

needless to say, i washed my hair the minute i got home.

now i know what a french fry feels like.

on to Brendan O'Mahony - Supermodel.

could i talk him into doing something different? nope. oh well. i still think he's pretty cute.

we also had a lady in a kimono...i decided i'd rather take pictures of him, rather than the hoochie mammas that just wanted headshots for their portfolios.

just having way too much fun.

where do they get those wonderful toys?!

2009-02-06T04:31:00.000-08:00

(and before you ask, i'm up at 4:30 A.M., not because i believe in getting an early start to my day. i am up, because i woke up with my legs hanging off the bed, the Husband in the middle of the bed and the cat pushing said legs off the bed. i tried pushing 'em over, but to no avail. hence, i am up)

last night was my photography class, and, while i still feel like a stumbling fool because i have no idea what my f-stop should be for certain situations, once in a (very great) while, something connects, the light streams in and i have a Moment of Discovery.

last night was one of those rare moments.

Brendan came with me last night, not because it was a frog-choker rainstorm last night (which it was), but because last night he became Brendan O'Mahony - Male Model.

clothing was NOT optional. thank heavens.

we practiced on our portrait skills last night - and we had a few models besides the one i brought. one lady, a former student of my photo teacher, came dressed in a traditional kimono, shoes and all. another woman in the class brought her granddaughter who was probably about 17-18. the granddaughter brought two of her friends, who did not want to model, but were perfectly content to stand in the back of the room and giggle.

i so would not want a teenage daughter for that very reason. in fact, if the whole baby thing had worked for us, i already had arrangements to send said teenage girl off to some far-off place until the hormones and giggling had abated.

we also had a model who was looking for headshots. believe me when i say this chick was working the freaking room, posing and pouting and wearing the tightest jeans ever. and every stinking man in that class, all of whom were old enough to have been her father, were falling all over themselves, snapping away at her.

speaking of the men in this class, i think i've said before that most everyone in this class is older than me by about 15 years or so. they've disposable income up the wazoo, and that was apparent last night.

one of the men is a very nice guy, who doesn't talk down to you when he explains settings. he also gets every.new.toy. that comes out for photographers. for instance, he just bought a ring flash (keep scrolling down this link, you'll find it) for his camera.

it runs about $300.

he also has a tripod that has legs that allow it (the tripod) to spread out and be about four inches off the ground - good for taking pictures of four leaf clovers, i guess. the coolest part of this tripod was the ball socket it had below the holder for your camera. kinda like adjusting your rear view mirror in the car, it moves smoothly and STAYS where you put it.

niiiiiiice.

another toy, that several people had last night, was a flash remote. it attaches to the flash at the top of your camera and trips your studio light set up.

and yes, they do have studio lights. one of them even has what can best be described as a bounce house with lights. it's tall, about 7 feet by 5 feet, zips into a box shape and then you can put your smaller studio lights on the side, pointing inside the box. then you have a lighted background that gives a great backglow.

i even heard two of the guys talking about actually having green screen backgrounds - so you can take a picture of say you and your kids, then in Photoshop cut out your subjects and place them in another photo...say, on a beach in Hawaii.

*sigh*

i think about these killer toys and how much fun i could have, then i remember that i can barely set an f-stop and a shutter speed. sometimes i forget to take off the lens cap.

and then i thank heaven i'm not a brain surgeon.

guess who's 6 today?

2009-02-04T05:29:00.001-08:00

this little minx...this chickie who has both uncle and auntie wrapped around the proverbial little finger...

man - she knows how to work me.

and stab me in the heart.

she was talking to her mom the other day, who asked the birthday girl, "what do you want for your birthday?"

and she replied (with a dramatic sigh, i'm sure) "i just want Auntie Valerie to be at my party."

good going girl. you and your brother both know how to kill me.

happy birthday baby. may it be you're most fun yet.

in my next life, i'm coming back as an orphan.

2009-01-31T20:51:00.001-08:00

i believe in life everlasting.
i'm not sure about life in the hereafter.

like the Hindus and Buddhists, i do believe that it is better for karma and all around good vibes to do good on this earth. and while i'm am SO all about that, i am definitely not interested in coming back for another go-round.

don't get me wrong. i love life. i love my husband, my friends and even my cat. i love my mom. heck, i even love my camera.

i.do.not.love.family.

my family, to be exact.

unbeknownst to me as a child, i was the black sheep. and dammit, i never even got the opportunity to enjoy it. since my mom was unmarried when i was born (a small fact that apparently every other person in my extended family knew EXCEPT for me), apparently that gave others in my family, in particular my cousins, carte blanche to treat me like i was a step below them.

so while i was wearing my Toughskin jeans from the Pretty Plus section at Sears, they were wearing Sassoon jeans. they modeled for Buffums department stores, even appearing in print ads.

i was queen of the circus. and i even took them for free to the circus.

they were skinny. i was not. still aren't.

and if i sound bitter, it's because i am...just a tad. growing up was a never ending chorus of "why can't you be more like your cousins? THEY clean their room. THEY get As in school. THEY blah blah blah."

but after i did grow up, and they did, too, a funny thing happened. i became OK with me - warts and all. and while i was the chubby kid wearing Sears specials, and they were really truly spoiled kids wearing designer clothes, i didn't end up like the oldest of them, pregnant and married by 20, divorced three months later, and after birthing, basically handed over her child to her mother to raise so she could par-tay.

and get hooked on coke. but that's a whole 'nother saga.

the middle girl was pretty dang cool. and it was for her that i allowed my mom to guilt me into going to her baby shower for her first child - at 42.

they'd been trying for four years. man, i get that.

so, i managed to have a little breakdown before we left today for the shower. probably some pent up rage, still bitter about us not being pregnant (and we SO will not get into the whole story here about the local woman who, already having 6 kids, just gave birth to 8 more. eight. ocho.) and just so NOT wanting to go to this shower with these people that are supposed to be family.

family that do not treat the uncool as family.

and as we left today, the oldest, who really needs to be paddled, is bitching about how she hates her mother, how she needs to find a younger richer man and finishes with us coming over to their place for Easter.

oh - thanks. but i think i'm planning on surgery that day.

i don't need this. i truly am happy with my life and my small family as it is.

but if there is a next life, i am so coming back as an orphan.

she's at it again.

2009-01-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

i entered another dang photo contest.

RitzPix, where i print photos a lot of times, is sponsoring a photo contest on Facebook.
(you can see it here)

and, i am a sucker for photos and contests. so heck, put the two of 'em together and man, i am SO there.

so feel free to enter your own photos - heck, it's pretty dang fun and easy.

but if you want to see mine, and vote for it (you vote by writing "vote" in the comment section under each photo), go here.

vote early and often. and thanks.

washing my hands. again.

2009-01-26T05:28:00.000-08:00

here in Mostly Smoggy So. Cal., because we do have such mild winters, we also get a lot of conventions during the winter.

a.lot.of.conventions.

makes sense - we are notorious for, among other things, mild winters, no snow and some of the most egotistical & vain peeps this side of the Hollywood city limits.

so it's really no surprise that the Craft Hobby Association, otherwise known as CHA, generally holds its winter meet here.

and it's really no surprise either that they hold it across the street from the Happiest Place on Earth.

last year, i almost had a chance to volunteer at the show...i had signed up to help in a booth but unfortunately due to an email glitch, i didn't make it. which, in a way, is OK, when you consider that unless you've got a resale license, you ain't buying diddly.

talk about a tease.

generally, there are a lot of scrapbooking celebs at this show. some to work, some to play and check out what's new for this year.

and apparently there was a whole new celeb appearing there this year.

Paris Hilton.

yep. the O.C. Register.com ran an oh-so-small story on their website stating that Paris attended the show this weekend, touting her new line of (wait for it) scrapbooking products, aimed at the 'tween' age.

isn't that great, America? not only can your 11 year old girl dress trashy, now she can scrapbook that way as well.

in all fairness, i haven't seen the line. not that i would expect her to send photos in an email blast to anyone that signed up for twopeasinabucket.com. but i have to admit i'm curious as to what it looks like.

and i gotta say that although i wouldn't buy anything from the line, even if i did like it, based only on moral grounds (chick has more than enough cash, she doesn't need any more from me), i'm so seeing a trend here. not only can you have hair extensions & clothing by Paris, you can also smell like her (the perfume she designed). now you can scrapbook like her.

not that i'm seeing her surrounded by glue dots and deckled scissors anytime soon.

but i do see that for years she's had an interest in memory making. after all, she's documented
parts of her life.

lucky us.

a random thought haiku post.

2009-01-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

*the dang cold is back. stupid thing must like me. really, i'm not all that so you don't need to hang around.

*irritated as hell with the photo class. not the class per se, i love the teacher, but dagnabbit, the people in the class are a bunch of photo snobs who, although i have no doubt are talented and know what they are talking about are STILL a BUNCH OF SNOBS WHO DROP LINES LIKE: 'well, last year when we were on safari in Africa...' heck, if i didn't know better, i would think i was in the middle of 'Real Housewives of Laguna.' except that most of the people in my class are men. men that are older than me. sheehs.

*day from hell today at work. it's amazing some people keep their jobs. and that others of us don't come in and shoot up the place. not me. i can't aim.

*laying low this weekend. but am planning on having chilaques for breakfast Sunday. yum-o.

*laughing at the recent offer i got for Creating Keepsakes magazine: 2 years at the ridiculously low rate of $24. why, that's only a dollar an issue! and an 83% savings over the cover price of $143.76. wow. now that's a bargain.

*i have lost my most favorite-wear-them-all-the-time pair of silver hoops earrings. and right now i don't care about the starving children in China OR El Monte, i.want.my.damn.earrings.

*work is sponsoring a biometric health fair, free cholesterol, diabetes, etc screening. oh, and a BMI index reading. looking forward to busting the chart on that machine.

*seriously. is it possible to STOP producing snot for five minutes?

*saw a can at the Mexican restaurant we frequent for Bud Light mixed with Clamato. Clamato.
totally gross.

*SO looking forward to a better week this next week.

it's hard being this cute.

2009-01-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

oh yeah.

after a week from hell, i decided that this weekend was going to be...well, about me.

selfish? oh yeah. and i wasn't going to apologize for it.

that was until i called my mom this a.m.

the Husband & i were at Wally-Mart, when i happened to notice the 6oz cans of Coke & diet Coke. my parents flipping love 'em, so i called to see if they needed any.

why sure! and while you're at it, can you get us some milk, too?

um....OK. and, since i have milk, i need to bring it over toot sweet.

then when we got there, my mom asks if Brendan would go in the back yard and rake the leaves for my step-pop.

apparently, he hasn't raked in over a year.

holy freaking crap.

so, when we got in the backyard, and Brendan got it raked up, the piles were HUGE.
and, thankfully, Brendan had bought a leaf blower/vacuum for my step-pop last year, so now was a good time to try it out.

it sucked. literally. i am here to tell you that it doesn't suck 'em up like it should.

i am here to tell you that there is still huge piles of leaves. even four hours later.

and i was bent.

selfish, selfish me.

it's not that i had all these incredible plans for us, i just wanted to relax and spent time with my sweetie...not watch him up to his ankles in leaves and other lawn crap.

i know they don't get around too well. i don't begrudge helping, just begrudge the helping when i hadn't planned for it.

and that, Gentle Reader, makes me selfish. shame on me.

in other news...

i made it in my photo class. no problems, but daaaang. it is packed to the rim. luckily, i got there super early, so i could get a spot at a table, not to end up sitting in the aisle in a folding chair.

and what a clique exists. we're talking about men older than me. and when i tried to make conversation with two of them, they looked at me like i said i drown bunnies and puppies for fun.
not only that, but when this other woman came in a little later, and there was an empty chair between the two, after they greeted each other, the woman asked if they had saved the seat for her.

nope, one said, we're saving it for Kathy.

niiiice.

they're also camera snobs...they both said, during class, that Nikon cameras ruled, and if you had a Canon, well..you just weren't in their league.

they laughed of course, but now i was totally bent at them.

there's no fool like an old fool. and no better way to piss me me off than to act like an ass.

moving on...

Brendan had another interview this week with a company in Mission Viejo...this time to test his prowess on Word and Excel.

he said he did OK on the Word part, the Excel, not so much. but in any case, they said they should be contacting him by Monday. this time to possibly meet with the president & vice president of the company.

fingers crossed. i would so love to have this nightmare of unemployment end for him.

oh yeah, and me, too - after all, it is all about me.

this week has kicked my asterisk.

2009-01-10T20:59:00.000-08:00

the first full week after Christmas and New Year's sucky-suck-sucks. always.
not only do you have the holiday hangover/burnout, but it's the first full week back at work/school, and that, my friends, is just full of it.

bleah.

not only that, but i'm suffering from photo withdrawal. i'm so in need of some good subject matter, but dang it, by the time i get out of work, when the light is golden & perfect, i'm too beat to do anything.

speaking of photos...here's reason # 4,578, 391 why i am the Queen of the Doofuses.

this past week was the beginning of my next stage in the photo class. i had signed up for it way before Christmas, and last weekend asked Brendan to drive out there so i had an idea where in the heck this place was.

(we had been there once before, for an organizational class. the only thing i got out of it was a different way to fold socks. man, that was boring.)

Wednesday, i drove out to Yorba Linda right after work. Yorba Linda, where a lot of our summer/fall fire was, is about 35 minutes from our casa...but of course, driving at prime drive time can boot the time up. luckily, traffic was light, so i made it out there in good time.

the fun part is, the school where this class is, is in the middle of reconstruction to become a junior high. the REALLY fun part, is that this is up in the hills. coyotes are there. not much lights. not even the campus is well lit.

i was trying to not freak myself out...imagining i was hearing the theme from Friday the 13th or Psycho. thankfully, no murderous rampages happened that night.

however...

once i got in class, i managed to drop my brand new $300 glasses onto the floor. and watched in horror as the lens popped out on one side.

oh dadgum it.

i spent the rest of the night trying to get the bloody thing back in.

then...

the instructor wasn't there that night...which i knew. he's on a cruise until next week.
lucky him.
so, while i was fighting my glasses, the sub handed out the class outline.

funny - it looks exactly like the one for the class i just took.

oh.crap.

i signed up for the beginner class. again.

i have no problem, really, taking the beginner class again...but i'll be a monkey's uncle if i'm a-gonna take it out in Yorba-freaking-Linda.

then she mentions the intermediate class (which i wanted) is full with a waiting list.

oh.double.crap.

knowing what i do know about Dave, the teacher, is - i should be able to crash the class. man, i hope so, i don't want to have $70 go down the tubes.

although it might teach me to pay more attention to what i'm signing up for.

naaaaah. once a goof, always a goof.

in other news...
the Husband had a phone interview with a company in Mission Viejo Tuesday...a town about 20 minutes from us. now they want to meet him this week for another interview.

prayers, please that this works and he can become once again a productive member of society.

if '09 wants me, it'll have to come in & get me.

2009-01-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

the party's over...if you can call 2008 a par-tay.

we've eaten our black-eyed peas. luck is insured, right?

right?

anywhooo...

i'm not one to make resolutions. never have been. i usually come up with ideas what i want to try and accomplish in the new year, and sometimes (OK, most of the time) they fall by the wayside.

this year is different.

the resolutions i'm making i think...no, i know, are ones i need to keep.

* i resolve to worry less...especially over things i have no control over. people i work with that drive me crazy...i'm letting it go. there are always going to be people who don't do the right thing, or don't do what i want/need them to do.

*i resolve to not sweat the small stuff. let's face it: there are things we all worry about that are nothing but a waste of our time and energy. there's a ton more fun things in this world i can be doing with that time & energy.

* i resolve to have more fun. whether that means scrapbooking, writing or working on mad photog skillz.

for shizzle.

oh, and i resolve to not try and be cool, yo. i'm really too old.

bring it on, '09. i'm ready for you.

in other news...

Friday night, we met up with my best friend and her kids out at the Mission Inn in Riverside for their annual Festival of Lights. we've never seen them before, and to say it was amazing is an understatement.

the place is a target rich photo environment any day of the week. well, add bunches of lights (and some really creepy anamatonic figures-they were really weirding us all out) and it becomes amazing.

i love photo rich environments.

the place is amazing.

just amazing. inside & out.

and so are the shops around the Inn. amazing windows.

and some cool decorations they had that reminded me of giant dandelions. or, as Kristie said, 'all i can think of is 'we are here, we are here, we are heeeeere!!' (a la Horton Hears a Who!) i thought they would look super cool in black & white.

thanks for the invite, Kristie. it was totally cool.

here's to a new year, full of new promise.

it's in the can.

2008-12-31T20:13:00.000-08:00

2008.
it's the last day of the year.

man. this year has suuuuckkkked.

and all because we didn't eat black-eyed peas on new year's the beginning of this year.

i know it.

so i won't be making the same mistake this year. i bought 'em yesterday. we're eating 'em tomorrow.

(BTW: i'm not sure how or why the italic is stuck on, but it is. deal with it.)

yesterday, i promised photos of me sledding. here's the problem: no one actually got a shot of me going down the hill...only walking back up it.

which completely sucks.

take my word for it, it was fun. WAY more fun than Disneyland, and, if you know me, that is saying something.

here's the Husband. reminds me a little of a girlie exam, what with his legs in the air and all.

the Niece. on the other side of the wash from us. Little Miss Independence walked over there where some teenagers were sledding, and announced, "hey! watch out! i'm coming down!!"

no fear there.

this could be me. or not. looks good either way.

happy lad.

and another one.

just more evidence that everything looks better covered in snow.

and to you, Gentle Reader -

the happiest of new year's to you and yours. may 2009 be everything you want and need it to be.

and thanks for sticking around to read my babblings for another year.

see you next year.

Christmas '08 is in the books.

2008-12-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

and what a Christmas it was.

we drove up Sunday to my brother in law's in northern California and spent the night. the next day we headed over the summit to my sister in law's for the fun.

we had to chain up partway across the summit...THAT was fun and the best damn $40 we spent.
ever.

of course, i could blah, blah, blah for ever, but what you want are photos.
and i believe in giving the public what they want.

yeah, i know. it's a fountain. but it's a frozen fountain. the only thing flowing is the top part. the rest of it is water falling down ice. just before i took it, there was a bird having a drink.

talk about an ice cold soda.

the Boy and i - taken by his sister. see - only two chins this time. i knew i liked that girl.

speaking of...

i don't think i need to explain this...do i?

Christmas lights. in the snow. on the roof of the garage. cool stuff.

i love the insanity of presents with kids.

i love sitting in my sister-in-law's bedroom for three hours wrapping gifts.

i love the view from my niece's bedroom.

i just plain love being there.

tomorrow: the last post of the year and photos of me sledding. for real.

over the river and through the Tejon pass...

2008-12-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

welcome to hell. otherwise commonly known as the American Road Trip.

not that road trips are always hell...we usually have fun on ours. but the Husband and i are soft Californians.

we can drive in smog. heck, i can drive through an earthquake and not even bat an eye.
but snow & ice, well... neither one is in our comfort zone.

and a Fat Girl is all about comfort.

it also doesn't help that i believe my mother (AKA Most High Priestess of Worry-Warts) is convinced that we are going to die in the snow.

why? check this out:
"when you're heading up there, if you have to pull over in the snow, DON'T leave the engine running. the snow could cover your exhaust pipe and if you fall asleep you could die of carbon monoxide poisoning.''

thanks mom. i feel so much better.

heck, she even gave the Husband money so he could buy survival blankets at the gun show yesterday.

but - today is the day.

we head up to spend Christmas with the Cutest Kids in Reno, after a stopover at my brother-in-law's here in northern California. then tomorrow, it's over the Donner Pass (yes, THAT Donner Pass) to Reno.

i'll try to post from the road. and just in case things don't go well at Donner, i'll bring hot sauce.
you don't eat a good man like him all at once, y'know.

a legend in my own mind.

2008-12-14T11:42:00.001-08:00

one of the advantages of self confidence is just that: you believe in yourself. you have confidence. the belief that, in most things, you can do anything.

of course, the disadvantage of self confidence IS that you believe in yourself and that you can do anything.

and heaven knows, that ain't always right.

for example:
i can cook. i've always cooked, ever since i was a kid i was making messes in the kitchen. i took cooking classes in college. my lasagna is in high demand, not only in my family, but with some of my friends.

therefore, i become a legend in cookery. no one else in the world can cook as well as i.

until i find several people that not only cook well, they cook MUCH better than i do. then i'm depressed.

stupid, huh?

ego is an amazing thing. without some of it, you can become road kill in the emotional highway of life. with it, you run the risk of becoming Tom Cruise. not necessarily jumping on Oprah's couch, but starting to believe your poo doesn't reek.

for example, in case you didn't notice, i take pictures. some are OK. some are killer and a lot of 'em are crap.

don't argue. i know they're crap. i've seen em, remember?

but - give me a new, bad-ass camera and some lucky shots and suddenly i think i'm freakin' Ansel Adams.

so not the case. but i get lucky sometimes, which is what i think happens with all of us. you write a best seller, you got lucky. you cook dinner without burning it and everyone loves it, you got lucky.

skill+ability+karma=lucky shot.

but again, give me a cool camera, and suddenly i think i can do no wrong. which i can, and often do, but i still get lucky.

and i've got to remember that luck doesn't always equal talent. but enough of talent and luck can make me a legend. if only in my dreams.

peace out.

pretty photos and ugly fish.

2008-12-08T17:55:00.001-08:00

Sunday, i was a Pomona Widder.

a Pomona Widder, for those of you not in the know, is a wife, not interested in cars (except to drive) and therefore is NOT interested in going to a HUGE MASSIVE ALL DAY LONG AFFAIR car parts (and everything else) swap meet out at the L.A. County Fairgrounds in Pomona...about 40 minutes from our abode.

now, i have done this swap meet before, or, as i call it, the Death March of Pomona. it seriously does take you all day to go through it. in the summer it's hot and you come home looking like a cooked lobster, sans drawn butter. go in the winter and you likely will freeze to death, gladly looking for the local beer stand so you can warm up.

beer can do what coffee can't.

so while Husband had some male bonding time, i was left to my own devices. and those devices turned out to involve a photo field trip.

California State University Long Beach is home to a small, but impressive, Japanese garden. it's closed on Mondays & Saturdays (not sure why on Mondays, but on Saturdays they're closed for weddings. i was at one there once...lovely, but hard to hear and no chairs. you stood for an hour.)
so i decided to go have some fun.

while the whole place has a wonderful calm air in it, even with about 25 other people there - along with a couple in their early 20s who apparently had nothing better to do than to walk around and take pictures of themselves.
gaaaah that was annoying.

colorful, yes. graceful and stately, yes. but uggggggggggggggg-leeeeeeeeeeeeee.

U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi you ugly - hey!hey! you ugly!

but you do photgraph well. even for my own lucky shot.

minx.

2008-12-07T11:53:00.001-08:00

this is what a baby looks like when you are booked to take her Christmas card photo during her 'cranky time.'

no dammit. i won't pose for you.
or maybe i will.

or not.

ok. i'll cooperate and look adorable.

even the dog wants to thank you for finally cooperating.

Merry Christmas.

good grief.

2008-12-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night, i called my mom just to see how they were doing.

normally, i go over every Wednesday, but this time i had booked time with a girlfriend so the Husband (aka Computer Geek) could work on her computer.

"well," she said about half way thorough our conversation, "since you accuse me of never telling you anything, i have something to tell you."

my mind ran through a variety of very important information that i would likely need to know...and probably wouldn't have been told:
* the house burned down.
* my stepfather was in the hospital.
* the huge tree in the backyard fell over and smashed the house.
* all the cats were dead.
* my mom was in the hospital, the cats were all dead because the tree fell, smashed them and in the meantime the house burned down and my stepfather burned his bum trying to put the fire out.

ain't i a freaking ray of sunshine?

nope. none of the above. my mom (who, unfortunately, i get all my grace and balance from) slipped off the back porch steps (only two, and maybe about 16" off the ground), fell face forward into the stucco enclosed gas meter and sprained the hell out of her ankle.

(and it did occur to me that likely the only reason she told me this had happened WAS because i was due to be over the next day. that kind of messed up, you can't hide.)

she is messed up.

to quote the doctor, a severely sprained ankle. a messed up back. a messed up knee.(she doesn't have good ones to begin with. hey - great idea: let's make a bad thing even better!!) a HUGE fat lip and a triangle shaped bruise that starts at her bottom lip and tapers down just past her chin.

and with all this, what is she the most worried about?
not making her quilting club's Christmas party in a few weeks.

daaaang. i want that kind of concern in my life. it rocks to be retired.
it just doesn't rock to be a turtle at the bottom of the stairs.

in other news...

one of the girls i've worked with, and who is in our birthday dinner club, had mentioned a few months ago that she was interested in me taking pictures of her 18 mth. old great niece for their Christmas cards.

tonight was that night.

i got over there about 6pm, just like she asked me to. Miss Sarah, who is a TOTAL hambone whenever the dang camera comes out was totally ready for her close up, Mr. DeMille.

this kid, like my niece, knows how to work that camera. without being told, the girl can totally turn it on and gives you, the photographer what you dream of capturing.

tonight though - not so much. and auntie & mommy both said to me, well, this is the time when she gets cranky.

ohfortheloveofgawdandallthatisholy. tell me why you would want to try and take pictures of a kid deliberately during her cranky time?

sheesh. it's like poking a stick at a chick on her period. you just don't do it, man.

luckily, i still got some good and some killer shots. and finally when i said, enough is enough - for both our sanity's, i felt pretty good about it. especially after i got home and started cropping and tweaking.

not that kind of tweaking. sheesh.

but, the only opinion that counts is auntie's. and she is a hard one to please.
not only that, but if she feels slighted or pissed off or even unhappy, she will tell everyone. then be kind enough to smile to your face.

love those kind of people, don't you?

photos and medical updates to come. happy Friday, peeps!

don't hate me because i don't live in the snow.

2008-11-30T20:38:00.001-08:00

(just so you know, my mom called me Friday morning to apologize for being such a....pain. i knew what her problem was; she has a variety of pain issues and hadn't taken a pain pill. my stepfather, however...a whole 'nother story.)

Saturday, the Husband & i headed down to the Seal Beach pier for some killer corned beef hash & eggs.

and i, of course, brought the camera for fun.

so don't hate me because there's no snow. but there are surfers.

ker-splash.

my favorites.

and my favorite subject.

*sigh.*

it's tough living near the beach. but someone's gotta do it.

bitter? me?? naaaah.

2008-11-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

another Thanksgiving is part of our past. another chance to share memories, create new ones and spend precious time with family.

riiiight.

i realize no family is the Waltons. (and for you youngsters out there, The Waltons was a TV show back in the 70s about a large family in West VA growing up during the depression. they were way too close and happy. Crazy Auntie Kay used to lament that our family was nothing like the Waltons.) i know every family has its own peccadillo's. their own version of weird.

some, are just way more weirder than others.

we spent yesterday at my mom & step-pop's. as we like to, we ordered our dinner from Knott's, who, for about $75, provides a whole roasted turkey, mashed spuds, stuffing, gravy, yams, corn, rolls, butter, jam, cranberry jelly, bread & butter pickles (?!) AND a pie.

all cooked. all boxed up. all goooood. and what's even better is, we drive up, show them the receipt, they grab a box and put it in our car.

now that's my idea of cooking.

back to Thanksgiving.

Wednesday when i was at my mom's, the last thing i said to them was that we would pick up the dinner @ 3pm and come on over. and that i would call before we came over.

i forgot to call. and caught hell for it.

OK, i screwed up, but sheesh, when you know we're getting dinner at a certain time, then coming right over, well - it can't be that much of a surprise.

surprises come later.

when we got there, they were feeding the army of cats living there (yes. my folks are the neighborhood Crazy Cat People) and while i'm trying to redeem myself for not calling, i try to get a plate of cat food for one of the older cats who lives in the garage.

oh no. no food for that cat. the cat died a month ago.

excuse me?

yep. cat's been gone for a month and no one told me. i watched this cat birth. she was a little feral but still a good cat.

well thanks for letting me know.

i know it's a little extreme, but dammit it wouldn't surprise me if, the next time i go over there, they tell me that my mom or step-pop had passed.

i.do.not.get.it. i don't understand what it is about this family that refuses to talk about anything. years ago, when my mom was diagnosed with diabetes, it took two days for her to tell me.

two days.

apparently communication isn't a strong suit in this family. so while i'm frustrated and irritated, i keep trying to tell myself that while my family is a part of me, i don't have to follow the same patterns they do.

but i wonder what Dr. Phil would have to say about it?

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

bleah.

2008-11-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

i'm not in a good place now.

i don't usually go here...this dark dim place where the sun doesn't always get through. but lately, well..

so for every negative, i try to come up with a positive.

lots of crap at work.
well, at least you have a job. the unemployment rate is up, and sits in your living room.

the economic situation in the world blows.
yeah. it does. but again, you're not missing meals...although you could stand to lose a few. you're making your bills.

even on the radio last week, our local country station was hosting a radio-thon, raising money for the local rescue mission. a woman called in, donating $200. she had lost her entire home in the Sylmar fires. but, she said, she knew there were people out there far worse off than she was.

i hung my head in shame, feeling sorry for myself because we are down one income. because it's hard to be strong when you know the most important person in your life cannot convince one single employer to take a chance on him.

it's tough to be the strong one, when all i want to do is cry.

come on over. it's the pity party of the year.

still standing.

2008-11-18T05:43:00.001-08:00

no worries, kids. while living here was like living in some palm tree lined ashtray, nothing in our neck o de woods burned, smoldered or was singed.

and that is a very good thing.

so far, things are looking better for the firefighters. temps are dropping and the 70mph+ winds we've had are dying down. according to the news, the fires down here and up in Sylmar are 40% contained, the Santa Barbara one is considered out.

and the Husband, down in San Diego for the weekend with one half of the Cutest Kids in Hesperia, had a little challenge coming home; one of the freeways he takes from Hesperia was closed because of the fires, which left the 91 freeway. that one goes through another fire area, but while it was slow go, he got through fine.

p.s. - he's posting about his Midway adventures, but he's still working on it, kids. i'll let you know when he gets it completed.

not that there was any fire danger for us, but with all the heavy smoke & ash, it was scary. and many others weren't so lucky. and while there's no good time to lose everything, right now during this economy, it truly sucks.

switching gears...

tis the season - to get Christmas cards and gifts made. the supervisors at work are getting...wait for it...wrapped candy bars.

woo hoo!

i saw these at an open house at one of my local scrapbook stores; a big Hershey bar, wrapped in Christmas scrapbook paper and tied on one side with Christmas ribbon & mini tree ornaments.
i'm doing the same thing, except instead of ribbon, i'm using red netting.

cuter. cheaper, too.

and, being a lo-lo head, i always feel weird giving homemade gifts. i'm not sure why.
maybe it's because, years ago, i gave my then boyfriend's mom a poem i wrote, with a drawing.

i can't draw. i can barely write. it was still in the spare room on the floor, weeks after i gave it to her.

now i'm sure it's in a landfill.

in either case, it makes me feel like i'm giving someone a macaroni picture frame, spray painted gold and covered in glitter.

only when it comes from a kid, it means something. from a 46 year old, it ain't so cute.

i think i need therapy.

oh holy CRAP.

2008-11-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

now the bloody fire is in my general neck o' de woods.

Brea. Yorba Linda. Anaheim Hills. Corona. all about 10-20 miles from us.

it's really like living in an ash tray. BIG ash, horrible smoke. i've got the house closed up, and of course it's about 90 all day.

the smoke is everywhere and it does make it hard to breathe. i don't know how people with asthma deal with this kind of crap. but tomorrow, i'm seriously considering heading over to Home Depot and getting some masks...if they still have any.

i'm watching footage of a house in Yorba Linda, about a 6000 ft one, now a pile of char because they're up in the hills and the pumping station burned down.

if you wanted a definition of irony, well - there you go.

and now they've arrested some dumbasses for looting.
scum.

the cat & i are laying low. there's no danger here, but it's scary.
it's smokey.
it's dark.
and it sucks to watch TV and know there's nothing you can do as you watch your home burn up.

prayers for them. for the firefighters. and even for the dumbasses that loot.

s-s-s-s-s-s-s-smokin' the second act.

2008-11-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

well, as if the Santa Barbara fires weren't bad enough, now we've got a fire up in Sylmar, about 50 miles from us.

this time, we're getting some serious ash and even heavier smokey smell.

AND it's hot...89 right now, so you can't even have windows open, otherwise you'll die of smoke inhalation.

oh, lucky, lucky us.

meanwhile...

the Husband is off for the weekend; he's going with my friend's kid's Boy Scout troup on an overnight trip to the USS Midway down in San Diego.

lucky him. not only is San Diego the best.damn.city. in California, but it's usually about 15-20 degrees cooler than it is up here.

and no smoke.

who's the smart one now?

s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-smokin.

2008-11-14T05:18:00.000-08:00

so not in a good way.

once again, the state is burning.

we've got another fire that started last night in Montecito, an unincorporated area of Santa Barbara, a very nice, veddy rich, town about 100 miles north of us.

i didn't know this, but apparently some celebrities live up in Montecito. Oprah has a home up there. so does Rob Lowe. the news this morning is all fire, all the time - and showing a 10,000 mansion going up in smoke and flame.

while i feel sorry for anyone that loses their home because of fire, earthquake or whatever, i can't feel quite as sorry for someone with more money than should be allowed. they can rebuild and easily.

but, i do forget sometimes - life here in Mostly Smoggy So. Cal. isn't, well...always real. as the home of the movie business, we specialize in make believe.

and sometimes, all that money makes you forget that there is a real world out there, with real people and real pain.

in other news...

there's a pretty good possibility that the Husband could end the year without a permanent job. although, the Big Boss at my work is trying to get him on as a contractor.

will he be bored? probably. we do have a lot of contractors, doing proofreading and other paper-pushing jobs.

but heck, if it pays more than unemployment, then guess what? he's taking it. this year has sucked big sucky-sucks, and i'm ready for '09 and a new start - not only for us, but for the Country as a whole.

(which also makes me laugh, watching the news and they say that "Barack Obama won the election" - heck, kids - he won the election alright, but man - it ain't no prize. good luck, man!)

back to sports -

Tuesday was my last photo class. he talked about the intermediate class (that i believe i'm taking) and what to expect from it. he also talked about the two photo field trips - BIG photo field trips - one in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho and the other in northern California.

man. that would be sweet. i came home and told the Husband to hurry up and get a job so i could go.

because again, it's my world. y'all just live in it.

then we had show & tell.

probably about 10 or so of us brought photos on discs or thumbdrives. while most everyone brought photos of our two field trips in Norco & Balboa, they also included vacation photos & portraits they had shot.

silly me, i thought it was only for field trip shots. daaaang. i could've brought a TON of stuff and made 'em all sit through them, too.

kinda like going to someones home and getting stuck watching vacation video.

one older gentleman brought his pictures, not of either Norco or Balboa, but of his trip last year to Idaho. i can't remember exactly where, but there's a big falls out there and next to it is a walkway so you can walk down the waterfall to the end.

his pictures were of every step down that walkway.
OK. we get it. it's BIG. take your favorites and share. not the whole walk down.

snipe. snipe. snipe.

some of the photos that were shared were amazing. and in a good way. made me wonder what the heck they were doing there. and while most all of us shared too dang many photos of the Pavilion (myself included) i did get some good oooohs & aaaahs on the photo of the restaurant.

that made my day.

now if only the employment gods would see their way clear to share their ju-ju with the Husband.

THAT would make my year.

bleah.

2008-11-10T05:29:00.000-08:00

it snuck up without warning, smacking down all in its wake.

it's Monday.

and while it's a great day to be alive, birds are singing, sun is shining (or it will be, right now it's still pitch black) etc, etc, there's just nothing good to be said about Monday.

no, i haven't had my daily ration of diet coke, but i will, grasshopper, i will. and soon.

but it's still Monday. and Mondays always suck.

best of luck getting through today, kids.

going to the fun part of town.

2008-11-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

last Tuesday, my photography class to a trip to Balboa Island for some shots.

Balboa, for those of you not local, is really more of a peninsula than an island. south of us here in the O.C., you can either drive direct, or take the ferry for fun and go across the channel.

like any other beach town, the houses are cute, small and right on top of each other. in the older part of Balboa, some of the houses are back from the '20s.

i used to be friends with a girl who's sister in law's grandmother was an original property owner, and we got to house sit for a long weekend, which totally rocked. heck, the house even had locks on the door that you opened with an old-skool skeleton key.

i never wanted a house more in my life.

back to class.

we set up at the end of a street, across from the Balboa Pavilion, about 25 of us, all with tripods, sweatshirts and lots of Starbucks. our instructor was giving us settings for the camera (some i got, some i couldn't figure out), trying out effects with shining flashlights on objects & people and the like.

the class was all about using existing light, no flash, just what's provided. most weren't bad, but everything's a learning curve, right?

this one was set on a timer, then just before it went off, we manually zoomed in & out. kinda cool. kind of an acid trip, dude.

after about an hour here, we headed back into the main drag for more fun with existing light and working with bracketing.

at least i understood that a bit easier than what we were trying to do at the Pavilion.

while everyone else was running off to take photos of store windows displays, i found this floral shop that i fell in love with.

loved everything about it. how the pumpkins were arranged, the windows, everything. i can't wait to head back around Christmastime to see how it's all decorated.

what a great name. and exactly what i was feeling, snapping away.

then, just a few shops up, was this little jewel. a tiny bistro with a single table outside.
man, did they know we were coming or what?

i was so happy, i could've peed my pants. only it would've been so embarrasing.then i found this little gem of a stairway...made me oh so happy.

and just a final reminder:

it really is, you know. especially with a camera in my hand.

one more political commercial.

2008-11-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

just in case you hadn't hit your fill of campaigning, signs, crap in your mailbox and/or mudslinging.

could be apropos. or not.
i just found it really funny.

seen in Balboa, on Tuesday's field trip.

tootsies extraordinary.

2008-11-04T04:49:00.000-08:00

i have the most amazing feet ever. not that you would look at mine and go, 'WOW! your feet are beyond description.'

and believe me, those words have been used about my feet before. although generally it's been said by anyone giving me a pedicure...and not in a good way.

but as usual, i digress.

my feet have radar. the military could use them. you see, my feet have the uncanny ability to find unpleasant things on the ground.

things like poo. or puke. AND the sensitivity of that radar goes up 2000% if i am barefoot, which i prefer to be 80% of the time.
and of course, the radar doubles that if it's, oh, say 3:30 am.

yesterday, i came home from work tired, cranky and generally out of sorts. i changed my clothes and, took off my shoes. walked into the living room and BAM!!!

direct hit with puke.

and, sitting off to the side was the cat, gazing at me. i'm just not sure if he was only watching, or if he was laughing at me...it's entirely possible he was laughing.

so apparently if there's anything uggy to step in, my wonderful, sensitive feet will find it.

now if they could only find some piles of money to step in.

goin' Hollywood.

2008-11-03T05:16:00.000-08:00

my No. Cal. friends were down this past weekend...apparently he needed a Disneyland fix and while they were down, we made plans to hit Paramount Studios in L.A.

the only studio we've ever toured was Universal. my friends have toured Universal, Warner Bros and now Paramount.

the tour was different than Universal in that at Universal, you get about 100 people in a tram and while you see actual working sets, there is a lot that's already set up for tours. Paramount & Warner is smaller and there's nothing already set up. if you see something filming, good on you. no huge King Kong audioanamatronic...no set up of props.

a small group was nice..easier to ask questions. our tour guide stopped a lot, showed us some sets from upcoming Nickelodeon shows, saw the area where Lucille Ball had her home on set set up...landscaped to be like her personal home. we saw them filming Dirty Sexy Money, feeling sorry for the extras, dressed for a New York Fall/Winter in a Southern California unseasonably warm fall.

oh, and the Hollywood sign.

every time i see the logo, i think of the Brady Bunch.

filming Dirty Sexy Money = hurry up and wait. we watched 'em set up the scene, wait, bring the cars in, wait, wait, wait...then we left.

the famous gate. i didn't realize it was so famous, but our guide said it's the most photographed studio opening ever.

who knew?

in other news...

the birthday party went well...the birthday girl does NOT look one, she looks older and THAT can cause a problem for mommy & daddy when she gets older.

i can't post any photos, momma never said i could, and i didn't ask because i was totally busy. the Birthday Girl, however, is just getting her walking legs and has a full head of curly hair..and looks exactly like her grandma..daddy's momma.

the park they had the party at was amazing...Irvine Regional was part of the Irvine Ranch at one point...the Irvine family owned over 100,000 acres of land in the O.C., which makes up about 1/4 of the county.

daaaaaang.

the park has pony rides, a train, pedal boats AND a zoo. in the winter, the train ride takes you to see Santa.

i'm all over that.

the only downside from the weekend was all that great outdoors wreaked havoc on my allergies...and i paid for it yesterday, feeling miserable and stuffy.

ah-choo, y'all.

positives and negatives.

2008-10-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

i have always been a 'glass is half full' kind of girl. not in a Pollyanna kind of way, but in a things-aren't-as-bad-as-it-seems-so-suck-it-up-sunshine-kind of way.

most days it works. some days not so much.

take for example, this Saturday. i'm taking photos at my hair girl's baby's first birthday party. now, while i'm positive i won't choke too badly, i'm still kind of nervous about the whole thing.

and for every 'what ifs...' my brain comes up with, the glass half full part of my brain counters and tries to slap the what ifs into submission.

not as easy as it seems.

Eeyore brain says: oh, CRAP. what if i run out of battery juice? the battery is rechargeable, so not like you can bring a gazillion Duracells.

better part of my brain says: get over it. you'll charge before you go, and remember? you finally got those additional batteries from eBay. they can be charged and ready to go.

Eeyore: OK, well...what about the memory card? you're gonna run out of memory and THEN what are you gonna do?

better part: i have an 8 gig memory card, and there are still over a 1000 photos that can fit. i'll clear off what's on it now, clear space and have oodles of space for photos.

Eeyore: well...um....what if you take a bunch of photos of your fingers, like you used to?

better part: i was 10 years old. it was a pocket camera (remember those?). this is a bigger camera, it has a lens and it's digital. even if you stick your bum in the pictures, you can see it afterwards and delete it.

Eeyore: yeah? well, what if you get hit with a meteor? whatreya gonna do then, smart girl?

better part: (shakes head) we've not had a rash of meteor strikes here in the OC. i think we're done here.

i think you get the idea...and while most of the time it doesn't happen quite like that, still...i have arguments with myself from time to time.

i just want to do a good job - and have everyone like me.

easy, no?

in other news...

no updates really on the job search. he's been going back and forth with one guy here, and while it looks better and better, there's still no job offer.

we just both want it over. and i want him working.

turning to sports....

last Saturday was our photo classes field trip, out in Norco; a urban/country town about 40 minutes from us. lotsa horses, lotsa houses on large lots.

the farm we went to wasn't. no cows, no chickens, no horses. the owners are friends of my instructor, in their 80s and don't work the land. the missus is currently in the hospital recovering from West Nile Virus. pretty good for 80.

we had some models. i had a model of my own. and some doggies that just wanted to play.

my instructor & his wife.

best looking fella there.

coming up: Paramount Studios and a first birthday party.

psyche.

2008-10-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

well, he's back, but he's back here.

apparently he forgot the password for the original, made a new one, found the password and merged everything back together.

boys. whatcha gonna do.

11 years ago.

2008-10-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

at about this time, 11 years ago -
* i was getting my hair sprayed and clipped and formed into an up-do.
* the Cutest Girl in Hesperia was in a green robe, ready for her turn.
* it was beyond windy. (my hair did not move)
* i laughed at a young man, nervous because he had to play the bagpipes. come on, dude - have you noticed i'm in a dang wedding dress?

oh - did i give it away?

11 years ago - we said we would. and we have. for better or worse, sickness and health and all the rest.

and if i had been on top of my game, i would have written vows like this:
i (your name here) promise to love you through fat times and unemployment. through loss of family and the gains, too.

through heartbreak and happiness. i promise to love you when you flub up and when you don't clean up after yourself.

i can't always promise to like you, but i will always love you.

i will always love you, even when you are having a breakdown - as long as you promise to love me, too, especially when i'm PMS-ing and i beg you to perform a hysterectomy on me.

i will always love you when you take three hours to do an oil change.

i will love you when you have no concept of time and we end up being late.

i will love you when you roll your eyes at my obsessions with Donny, photography, scrapbooking and whatever else i'm in to.

i love you, baby. thanks for eleven interesting years. here's to the rest of our lives together.

stalkers - take your marks!

2008-10-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

well, lookit who's back in the blogging world.

'bout time, too.

please adjust your links accordingly.

it's all becoming clear to me.

2008-10-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

looking back, it's no wonder i am the way i am.
crazy that is.

i've told tales before of life with Crazy Auntie Kay. how she would tell me that if i would just press against my two front teeth, they would straighten out nicely and i would have no need for braces. my teeth would look just like hers.

and i did that, faithfully...for a few months. then i found out something.

Auntie Kay wore dentures. of course her teeth were perfect.

it's crap like that that stays with you for a long, long time.

take, for example, Exhibit A.

this morning, i was driving to work, when i passed a box on the side of the road. nothing unusual in that, except that immediately i heard Auntie Kay.

"when you start driving," (said when i was a teenager, before my license) "and you see a box in the road, don't you EVER drive over it."

ok, i'll bite. why?

"because people will put their unwanted babies in the box and leave it in the road so someone will drive over it and kill their baby."

OMG. you SO did not just say that.
wait...rerun tape...oh yeah, you DID just say that.

and she really did believe that. just as she believed that my mom could not willingly have sex as an unmarried woman. she HAD to have been raped.

oh yeah. she did. to the day she died, she was convinced my mom had been forced upon.

and so, some 30 years later, i see a box in the road and freak out...before i remember that the odds of that happening are as good as us winning the lotto.

the lotto, however, while it would still freak me out, would be FAR more FUN than...well, you know.

tune in next week for the newest episode of "It's Not My Parents That Screwed Me Up, It Was the Other Members of My Family."

presented without commercial interruption!

oh, Magoo...you've done it again.

2008-10-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

and dang it, if you have to ask who Magoo is, you ARE young.

get out.

kidding!

yesterday i went to my hair appointment. and before you start yawning, trust me. there is a point to my story.

really. i'm not just rewording my daily planner.

and while i'm leaned back in the shampoo bowl, my stylist (i know - it sounds Hollywood, but i can't stand the word hairdresser. don't ask me why.) says, 'hey, i have a proposition for you.'

well - i'm laying on my back and you've got a hose full of water. if i say no, i'll be drowned. i'm good with whatever you say.

'i was wondering,' she said, 'what you were doing November 1st?'

nothing, i say. i'm pretty sure my calendar's clear.

'well,' she says, 'maybe you would be willing to come over to my daughter's first birthday party and take pictures for me. if you would, i would comp today's services.'

wait....what?

look, i say, i'll be more than happy to take pictures for you. i'd love to, i'd love the practice and all but please let me pay for today.

'nope. that's the deal. you don't take pictures, you pay for the cut.'

that went on for a few minutes. finally i caved.

and now i have non-buyers remorse.

what the heck was i thinking? taking pictures of someone's child? and their first birthday party to boot?

i get lucky sometimes with the camera. and my ego gets all that, and thinks it can do anything.

now, i guess i gotta prove it.

in other news....

Brendan started up with a service called Job by Fax - for x amount, they will fax his resume to all the companies in the categories he picks. he joined up on Thursday.

on Friday he got four calls. one want to see him Monday.

this could rock.

i'd be oh so happy if this pays off. fingers crossed, kids. prayers sent. no goats, though.

we've got standards y'know.

oh boy.

2008-10-09T05:18:00.000-07:00

the Husband got cut loose from the sleep study early yesterday and wasn't too happy.

not about getting cut loose, but about the results. turns out he has sleep apnea, and they want him on a C-PAP machine. i'm hoping insurance covers it, because if it doesn't, i told him he just may have to die in his sleep.

SO kidding.

at the hospital, (which he said was more like a hotel room) he was probed, prodded and hooked up to electrodes from head to feet. the worse part, was the goo they attached the probes to on his head...he kept washing his hair over and over after he got home to get the goo out.

then there was the fact that he couldn't sleep. well...he could sleep, but when he would pause in his breathing, the nurse would come in and wake him, taking vitals and such.

it reminds me of being in the hospital...you can't get any rest because the nurses are in every hour or so taking your temperature, blood pressure and asking how you're sleeping...which i know they have to do, it's just ironic that you need to rest to heal but can't.

they fitted him last night with the 3 Bears of CPAPs. one was too tight (claustrophobic), one was too weird (tubes in his nose, felt freaky) and the other was just right...well, as right as something over your face is gonna feel.

now that work calmed down somewhat, for me anyway (i was covering for one of my teammates who had a dozen ants in her house and lost her mind...but that's another post. maybe. i stayed until 6:30 pm Tuesday and missed my photo class, came in @ 6am yesterday and stayed until 4:30) i can satisfy my control freak issues and do some research on this whole thing...and see if i can hear the radio commercial again, where the local news sportscaster had used the CPAP, but went to something else.

being a control freak is fun.

in other news....

my 14 year old self is coming out to play and should be in full force by Friday.

i'm seeing the Osmonds.

ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

a friend i work with, who is another Osmond freak, got the tickets. i don't remember if i was here with y'all when we got tickets to see Donny @ the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts. totally cool. totally fun. totally hysterical to see an auditorium filled with mostly pre/post menopausal women, acting like they were teenagers again.

not me. i never was a screamer - sorry. and yes, you can read into that whatever you want.

so Friday, it's back to Cerritos to see Wayne, Merrill, Jay & Jimmy. it'd be totally cool if Donny would make a surprise appearance, but i'm not holding my breath, since he & Marie are doing a show in Vegas.

what's funny is, while my friend and i both like Donny, she actually liked Jay better. now that we're both (sort of) grown up, we're both thinking that Jimmy was the one we should've liked.
even though he was a butterball as a kid, he was starting businesses at the age of 13 and turning in tax returns.

he's been doing a lot of different businesses since. real estate. marketing. performing. i think that, even when the Osmonds lost most all of their money in the 80s, he was the only one not in financial trouble.

dagnabbit. mom was right - always go for the smart one.
i hate it when she's right.

rock on, Sleeping Beauty.

2008-10-08T03:11:00.000-07:00

the Husband spent the night Tuesday night at the hospital.

no worries. he's not sick, and no, i didn't smack him in the back of the head with a frying pan.

not that the thought hasn't crossed my mind occasionally.

he's always been a bad sleeper and B's doctor decided to sign him up for a sleep study. thank heavens. the man never has slept well, usually waking up in the middle of the night, and, comes out to eventually fall asleep again in our recliner. with the TV on.

at least here, perhaps they can do something to help. although, i know i'll be hearing about it, especially if it involves one more med for him to take. and, of course, the other scenario is that last night was his best night's sleep ever.

talk about irony. especially if you consider i've been up since 2:45.
maybe i should be there, too.

in other news...

i had decided i wasn't going to bitc....er, complain any more about work...at least for awhile. i'm still working and i'm blessed. i know it.

but...

yesterday was a bad day at Black Rock. my group was short a person...due to an ant invasion at her house. (and the scary thing is, there only was about a dozen or so...according to her neighbor and my friend)

so i got pulled off of my temporary query coordinator post and back on the incomplete reports. with lots of books going to the printer, we were hopping. then, @ 3:45 yesterday afternoon, the paging supervisor came over and wanted to know if we were going to be complete on the El Paso, TX book.

um, excuse me? you sent out a paging schedule for the day with the book broken down into four sections and now you want to send the whole thing in one shot?? and you ask this an hour and 15 minutes before the book is due?

oh good grief.

it turns out that this is one of those books that is published in full size AND a mini size. it involves reducing the size at the printer. OK. we forgot. but duuuude. remind us of that earlier in the day.

ready to start running around insanely? GO!

we, the supervisors, myself and another lead, ended up staying until 6:30 last night. and we weren't done with the book. heck, how could we? we had no ad designers left in house, our vendors weren't responding to my many desperate emails.

so today doesn't bode well for paging success as well, which is why i woke up @ 2:45...i honestly cannot remember if i emailed on EVERYTHING paging today or not.

then came the bloody nose.

i'm sitting here, freaking myself out that i haven't emailed, when i think my nose is running.
looking down on the blanket i wrapped around me, i find i am wrong.

so now i'm tired, stressed AND i have a bloody paper towel i need to get rid of before CSI starts investigating.

man. i wonder if i can get in on that sleep study.

never mess with a fat girl's dessert meme.

2008-10-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

thanks Linda!

A sweet meme

1) Copy this list into your site, including the instructions!
2) Bold all of the sweets you've eaten--or make them a different type color.
3) Cross out any of them that you'd never ever eat.
4) Consider anything that is not bold or crossed out your "To Do" List.
5) Optional: Post a comment here linking to your results--or just post a comment letting us know how many you've tried, or what you're going to try next!

1. Red Velvet Cake yes. weird. cake should not be red.
2. Princess Torte
3. Whoopie Pie i've made these for a friend's birthday
4. Apple Pie either topped or baked with sharp cheddar (there's a pie shop here that has as a motto - An Apple Pie Without Some Cheese is Like a Kiss Without a Squeeze. whatever. i'm not eating those together)
5. Beignet ohgoodygoodygoodygoody!!!
6. Baklava
7. Black and white cookie
8. Seven Layer Bar
9. Fried Fruit pie
10. Just-fried (still hot) doughnut oh Krispy Kreme, i miss ye.
11. Scone with clotted cream sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
12. Betty, Grunt, Slump, Buckle or Pandowdy - yep. good stuff there.
13. Halvah or Turkish Delight - Crazy Aunty Kay LIVED for Halvah.
14. Macaroons - Disneyland makes the bestst ones, drizzled with a little chocolate...
15. Banana pudding with nilla wafers
16. Bubble tea (with tapioca "pearls") (my friend Mellie LOVES that stuff)
17. Rice Krispie treats - da bomb!
18. Alfajores
19. Blondies
20. Croquembouche
21. Girl Scout cookies love the Samoas & the peanut butter creme ones.
22. Moon cake
23. Candy Apple -nope. don't like 'em at all. caramel apples rule, however.
24. Baked Alaska on our cruise. about 15 waiters paraded in with them, all a-fire.
25. Brooklyn Egg Cream - not sure if it's Brooklyn, but i have had egg custard. is it the same thing?
26. Nanaimo bar
27. Baba au rhum
28. King Cake
29. Sachertorte
30. Pavlova
31. Tres Leches Cake - and have made it and it is the freaking BEST.
32. Shoofly Pie
33. Key Lime Pie (made with real key lime) - love that sweet tart taste!
34. Panna Cotta
35. New York Cheesecake - yum!
36. Napoleon / mille-fueille
37. Russian Tea Cake / Mexican Wedding Cake
38. Anzac biscuits
39. Pizzelle
40. Kolache
41. Buckeyes
42. Malasadas
43. Moon Pie
44. Dutch Baby - really easy to make. and the bomb to eat!
45. Boston Cream Pie
46. Homemade chocolate chip cookies - heck, i don't wanna eat 'em once they cool down.
47. Pralines
48. Gooey butter cake
49. Rusks
50. Daifuku
51. Green tea cake or cookies'
52. Cupcakes from a cupcake shop
53. Crème brûlée - OMG. that's all i can say. i can't even type, i've drooled all over the keyboard
54. Some sort of deep fried fair dessert food - i always love the funnel cake@ Knott's - but this year was the first time i had a fried twinkie...not bad!
55. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting - the Husband's favorite!
56. Jelly Roll - i've made a Yule Log cake, same idea.
57. Pop Tarts - chocolate fudge rules!
58. Charlotte Russe
59. An "upside down" dessert (Pineapple upside down cake or Tarte Tatin) my step-pop's favorite...i still make it for him.
60. Hummingbird Cake
61. Jell-O from a mold (and even jello cake!)
62. Black Forest Cake
63. Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie).
64. Kulfi
65. Linzer torte
66. Churro
67. Stollen
68. Angel Food Cake
69. Mincemeat pie...bleeeeccccchhhhhh
70. Concha
71. Opera Cake
72. Lobster tail
73. Pain au chocolat/Chocolate Crossaint
74. A piece of Gingerbread House
75. Cassata
76. Cannoli
77. Rainbow cookies
78. Religieuse/eclair
79. Petits fours
80. Chocolate Souffle - there's a restaurant up in L.A. i went to once that makes the best.ever.
81. Bienenstich (Bee Sting Cake)
82. Rugelach
83. Hamenstashen
84. Homemade marshmallows
85. Pie or cake made with candy bar flavors (Snickers pie, Reeses pie, etc)
86. Divinity
87. Coke or Cola cake
88. Gateau Basque
89. Figgy Pudding
90. Bananas foster
91. Joe Froggers
92. Sables
93. Shortbread
94. Animal crackers
95. Basbousa

the nose...knows.

2008-10-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

at one time, it was 'what's that in your nose?'
now - it's 'hey - what happened to your nose?'

i have a divot in my nose. and there's no way anyone is gonna stick one back in it.

last week - sometime during the night, i pulled a blanket over my head.
i'm very good at that.

somehow, someway...my head stayed left, while the blanket went right...around the nose stud and pulled it right out.

did i feel it? yep. did it hurt? nope. it did wake me up enough to feel up my own nose, but my sleep-addled brain said heck yeah, your Symbol of Rebellion is still there.

the mirror the next morning told the true story. it was gone. with only memories left behind.

so it's the end of an era. i'm not getting it re-pierced. i did it, i had fun with it, but its time has passed.

and it didn't even hurt.

maybe i should call it random bitching.

2008-10-02T18:37:00.001-07:00

except that i promised
myself that i wouldn't complain about...that place.

for today at least.

i keep thinking about going on vacation. we haven't been on one since my back surgery and dang would it be killer to go on one.

we've been on some fun ones. DisneyWorld. Arizona. Michagan.

we've done road trips, gone to wineries and of course visited friends and family.

and of course, the places i'd like to see grows. call it a bucket list.

*Ireland
(well, duh.)
*England
*Canada (we were going to Victoria, BC for our honeymoon, until someone told me that it rains in October. silly me, i don't want to stay inside all the time for our honeymoon. Sedona it is!)
*Hawaii
*Japan
*Texas (well, at least more than i did see)
*Colorado, Wyoming, Montana (i just so want to be someplace where there's wide open spaces, blue skies and, dare i say, buffalo.)
*Maine
*Georgia (no, not so i can stalk Alton Brown)
*Utah (and no, not so i can stalk Donny)
*Australia (but i think first i'll need to be drugged before the dang flight)

i never traveled as a kid. but now, as an overgrown kid, i just want to go and go and go. but i guess i need money first.

could there be a lotto winning in my immediate future? man i hope so.

on the next day...

2008-10-01T05:36:00.000-07:00

after the fun and frivolity of Monday, came Tuesday.

with Tuesday came more fun.

daily, we have an 8:30 meeting where we talk about what's paging that day, how many are incomplete and waiting and how we can meet our schedules. and dang near every meeting, the waiting tables team (after sales sells an ad for the phone book, it gets processed so they can get paid, then it comes into 'waiting' and has to be installed into the graphics computer system before we can create the ad...or send it to the overseas vendor.), when asked how they look for the waiting numbers give blank stares.

or better yet - say they can get 'em cleared, but they don't know who to contact.

really? you've been doing this job for how many years?

and then, when they do get their reports cleared, they are practically carried around on shoulders and strewn with praises.

i get asked if i'm doing my job.

bitter? you bet. i've been at this place for over 20 years. i've survived a merger, a spin-off and countless layoffs. i've been doing this job for at least five years, maybe more.

don't ask if i know how to do my job. ask the other guys.

but yesterday, after our status meeting, one of my compadres stopped me, and started talking to our supervisor and i. Gentle Reader, she let it all hang out - which is nothing new, she is good at ranting.

i'm good, but not that good. my problem is i get so wound up, i start crying. that ticks me off, because i feel that, sometimes with men, they just look at a frustrated crying woman as a crying woman. just emotional. and since our supervisor is a man, well...you can do the math.

my compadre, however, had no such emotional baggage. she laid it all out, how wrong it all is - how can we work any harder than we are, how, what, why...

45 minutes worth.
she does like to talk. pray she never runs for office.

our supervisor is frustrated, too - no one knows what to do.

a big saying around my work is, 'let it break so we can fix it.' well, it's broken. it needs fixing.

before i break.

in other news -

i took off early yesterday and the Husband and i skittled over to Knott's Berry Farm for a few hours. i got free tickets from a friend at work, and originally we planned to go on Sunday, but, being the weekend and all, Husband thought mid-week might be better.

oh yeah. much better. we walked on to rides that can run an hour wait...especially water rides on hot days.

and yesterday was a hot day.

there were water rides a-plenty. and it was goooooood.

the blisters, not so much.

i never get blisters...well, hardly ever - and yesterday, apparently my tender tootsies were a-suffering. we went to first aid and got bandaids to cover the spots.

didn't work.

when we left, i pulled off my shoes and felt instant relief.

the bummer is, it was sooooo hot yesterday, it was too hot to sleep. my bad knee was killing me. my blistered heels felt tender.

to quote the Stones, what a drag it is, getting old.

it was so hot last night, my bed felt like i was on top of an electric blanket-set on high. it's Fall, for gosh's sake. it should be cool. crisp. not freaking hot and sweaty. today will be no different.

ewwwwww.

but today is another day, Scarlett. i'm trying to change my attitude - maybe it'll help.

if not, it ought to make for another cranky-ass post.

sticks & stones...

2008-09-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

you can do a lot of things to me.

you can call me fat.
you can call me ugly.
you can say i have no fashion sense.
you can tell me my hair & makeup looks like crap.
you can even tell me my breath's bad. my feelers will not be hurt.

but -

accuse me of not doing my job, and i will go medieval on you, and go straight to the top if i have to.

i don't want an apology.
i don't want a 'oh, my bad.'
i don't want anything from you.

but don't you ever, ever try to lump me in with those in my group who have no effing clue about what they are doing - or even care about what they do.

and while i realize what i do isn't curing diseases, saving orphan children or even fixing the nation's financial woes, i do take a certain amount of pride in what i do.

get rid of the vendor, or give me the clearance to pull work from them so i can do my job.

and don't EVER point your accusing finger at me.

a girl's gotta eat...

2008-09-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

from my sweet Susie....and of course i'm playing because no one knows foodies like a fat girl!

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

The Very Great Taste Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea (what IS this?)
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare (just in case you didn't know i was a freak...i totally love raw hamburger, and beef...with a little salt...oh happy, happy tummy)
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (heck - we have a chain of restaurants out here i'm dying to try called The Melting Pot....face it: cheese is good food.)
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (i didn't like it at first. B loves it. but as we've tried different restaurants, and with Little Saigon only a few miles from our casa, there are PLENTY of choices!)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses ( OMG - i'm starting to think i is from da backwoods)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream (how about green tea?!)
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans (in a place where Mexican restaurants & taco shops are more common than gas stations, oh yeah. i've had 'em a few times)
25. Brawn, souse or head cheese (Crazy Aunty Kay LOVED head cheese. i could take it or leave it and generally leave it)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (OMG. one of life's bestest pleasures!!)
28. Oysters
29. Baklava (yum-o. even though it has nuts and i'm SO not a nut fan)
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas (bleah. but i tried 'em)
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (Crazy Auntie Kay's husband, Uncle Jimmy, was of German heritage; grew up in a heavy German town in Indiana...we ate it quite a bit when i was a kiddo)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (does a Michelob with a Benson & Hedges when i was 19 count?)
37. Clotted cream tea (a damn fine excuse for high tea, if you ask me)
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (yum. i cried bitter tears when the closest Krispy Kreme store closed)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer (probably, but i didn't know what it was called - we used to have friends from India...before they got divorced, then divorced us)
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal (shocking, but no. momma doesn't like Big Macs.)
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (eeeeh)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips (eyep.)
61. S’mores (heck - i'm 46 years old...and i STILL make 'em)
62. Sweetbreads (i can think of two things wrong with that name)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake (OMG - i first met the joy of beignets when we went to Disney World a few years ago...at our hotel, there were different food stations, and one of ;'em made beignets fresh. every.dang.morning. i gained at least ten pounds eating there. THEN they had to open a little beignet store in Downtown Disney....oh joy. and i do love any baked good...but i gotta say, the BEST funnel cake comes from Knott's...a little stand across from the Log Ride...made fresh...';scuse me, i need to wipe my mouth.)
68. Haggis (not a chance.)
69. Fried plantain (in Florida. yum. finally, we found a Cuban restaurant around here that serves 'em...)
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho (Delicious!)
72. Caviar and blini (can NOT get over the whole fish egg thing)
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie (cherry's my fave)
78. Snail
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict (it's OK. B loves it)
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef (tasty - but not any tastier in my mind than an Angus steak!)
86. Hare
87. Goulash (Kay made the BEST)
88. Flowers
89. Horse (what?! eat Trigger?!)
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam (i have the best recipe for spam sammiches...ground with onions, olives, tomato sauce, cheese...then broiled...)
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish (i know - food from the Land of my People, but not that crazy about it!)
95. Mole poblano (molemolemole)
96. Bagel and lox (yum)
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta (again, i have a killer recipe for fried polenta with sausage & onions & peppers!)
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake (i've seen several i'd like to kill and some i've dated, but never eaten one)

your turn. have a good time!

ah - the glories of Friday...in one sentence bursts.

2008-09-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

and the wonders of fall, especially when it's 88 freaking degrees out! what the heck is that all about?
it would be great that it's Friday, except that i gotta work tomorrow.
still nothing on the job horizon. it sucks to be my boy.
i feel like my shoulder has been surgically attached to my ears.
hell begins tonight...literally. the Haunt opens over at Knott's, so for the next four weekends, we will endevor to stay the heck away from this area...which does make for creative ways to get home while avoiding all the traffic of the Haunt attendees.
man - i SO love movies like 'The Right Stuff' and 'Apollo 13.' i could watch 'em on and on....
i could use a massage.
Albertson's makes a dang fine frozen pizza. quite nice for a Friday night.

hope your weekend rocks.

did you hear something fall?

2008-09-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

sorry, couldn't resist.

fall is here. arrived @ 8:44 this morning.

i love fall. the feel of it. the difference in the air. the ever so slight chill that starts, grows and blooms into winter.

well, except for here in Mostly Smoggy So. California, where we have two and a half seasons. spring/summer, then winter.

i had no idea that leaves actually change colors in parts of this great land. here, the grass just gets a little less green and the hills hereabouts go from brown of the summer to green as the rain comes. one year, the Husband decided that i needed to see the leaves change color. so we made plans to visit friends in Michigan in October, just when the magic would happen.

which was great - except that the leaves had changed about a week or so before we got there. also, our trip was in October 2001. right after September 2001, where my underwire bra stopped traffic leaving Michigan but that's another post.

ah - California. a land of conflicts...and not just the ones about our state budget.

in other news...

i had no idea i could enjoy a class sooooooooo much. love, love, love this photography class.

tomorrow is all about f-stops and such and i have no doubt that my notebook is going to be chock-full of notes...some of which may be legible.

i'm already planning on signing up for the instructor's intermediate class next semester.

y'all have said some very nice things about my photos, and i appreciate every one. i just want to be really, really good. not necessarily talented, but at least better.

nothing new on the job front for the Husband - and i think it's starting to really get him down. today was a pretty sad boy moving around here.

he really needs to work - not only for the monetary gain, but it's got to be a downer, only working 2 months from the year.

speaking of the Husband, yesterday, we drove out to the Chino airport, a municipal one out about 35-40 minutes from our palatial estate. they have a 'Planes of Fame' museum there, and we were going to go...until we saw the admission fee...heck. at that price we can have a yum-o dinner out.

but, having never go anywhere without my little black precious, i got completely excited about this, right across the street from the airport.

stop laughing, Linda. moo-cows are a rarity in the city.

this one was a little cranky.
and if you look carefully, you'll see she's very drooly. must be the thought of getting her picture taken. i feel the same way every time i get to play with my precious.

moo, indeed.

do quirk your pinky as you read, won't you?

2008-09-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

today, i went to a tea-slash-fashion show with my madre. i'll give you all a minute to get the laughter out before we continue.

you good?
OK then, moving on.

it was one of those mother-daughter-let's-bond-because-since-you-got-married-you-never-do-anything-with-me-anymore(insert heavy sigh here) moments. and i figure not only does my mom have a touch of Jewish Mother in her, i have enough Catholic Guilt to fall for it.

the funny thing is, we are Baptist. go fig.

so, off to the tea. it was sponsored by the church that my mom's quilting group rents space from for their monthly meetings. and of course there was more blue hair in that room that at the Blue Man Group show in Vegas.

stretching, i know. but i came up with that today and had to spring it on you, Gentle Reader.

the tea was served by several men, all wearing food service gloves and looking a little uncomfortable being surrounded by that much estrogen and estrogen replacement. and it was tea, with an assortment of bags (tea bags, not the attendees. sheesh!)and foofy little cucumber and cream cheese sammiches.

and, at the table across from ours, were two little girls...with Happy Meals.

'hey, kid, i know you're not supposed to talk to strangers, but i'll give you $20 if you give me your chicken mcnuggets. what? no, you can keep the toy.'

money well spent, in my opinion. except that i didn't have $20, or $5 or even a bloody dollar bill, because i didn't go to the ATM in my hurry to get to the church and not be late.

have you ever noticed how freaking wonderful Mickey D's french fries smell? manna from heaven, my friends...especially when all you have are foofy cream cheese sammiches.

anywhooo...i'm sure i made quite the impression with my mom's friends, trying to be charming, but ended up being my usual somewhat sarcastic self...starting with the one who, after looking me up and down said, before my mom could make the introductions, 'well! and who is this little miss?!'

listen, honey - there hasn't been anything little on me since 1968. let's not be too patronizing, shall we? i happen to know you've got kids and underwear older than me.

46 and still a smart ass. yep - i've still got it.

after the tea was a fashion show. and yes, it was every bit like you imagine. very flowy, soft fabrics, lots of sequins and sparkles and hats...oh kids, every.bloody.outfit had a hat accessorized with it. all of which looked like they would be perfect for a wedding...or Ascot. not, though, for a 'night out on the town,' as the owner of the dress store putting on the show said.

not unless that night out on the town included a drag show. then again, i used to know a drag queen and i'm not even sure he would wear that.

my favorite, which was painful to watch, BTW, was a teenage girl, wearing clothes that very few self-respecting teenage girls would wear...unless they were looking for ridicule and mockery at the hands of their peers. she looks uncomfortable. i felt for her, poor baby.

but when they came out with some Red Hat Society outfits, let me tell you, my mother about lost it.
there was a purse. red in color, sequined (DOY.) with gold accents and a bird shaped clasp.

i thought she was going to need oxygen. turns out she just needed that purse.

after the show, many of the ladies headed up to the area where the shop owner had her wares. bedazzled earrings with HUGE fake stones were being snapped up, along with the garden party hat the owner had accessorized with, not a scarf, but a belt.

my mother, cane in hand, was ready to battle her way to the purse. she stopped short when she saw it.
'it's teal.' she said.

what?

'teal. it has teal in it. i don't want teal. i don't like that one, i liked the one she carried,' she said, frowning.

'well,' i said, 'let's either find the model or the owner and get it.'

'oh, i don't want to be a bother...'
'i want to be a bother,' i said. 'i'll get that dang purse if it's the last thing i do'i thought and, as i was starting to make my way through the hungry throng of blue hair shoppers, here came the model, who apparently knows my mom.

'Carolyn - did you really want this?' she asked, holding out the Holy Grail of Red Hat Purses.
my mom almost purred as she took it from the lady. and happiness was once again restored at the mother/daughter tea...especially when my mom slapped some cash down and made that purse her bitch...i mean her own.

driving home, and giggling to myself over all the blue in the room, i realized a few things.
first - that in spite of the strange history my mom & i started out with, (thinking my mom was my cousin and all) that it's amazing we have a relationship as good and as strong as it is.

second, how lucky i am that i do have her. i have friends that don't have a great one with their moms...and some that don't have theirs any longer...and would give an eyetooth..or a Happy Meal...for what i have with mine.

third, how sad it makes me that she is getting older and feeble. she never was a scamperer, but it was cool going to Disneyland or Knott's as a kid and having someone to snuggle with on the big scary rides. now, i'm the one that the Cutest Kids in Hesperia and Reno want to snuggle with - and it makes me sad she won't have that with them, or her great-grand kids.

my mom's pretty cool.
sometimes it takes a cucumber sandwich to remind me.

someone out there wasn't on board with the snake oil.

2008-09-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

no such luck for the job.
now he's incredibly cranky because of the economy, and the bail-outs and all.

dang.

prayers again. that he finds a job soon, and that i don't lose my mind before that happens.

prayers, por favor.

2008-09-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

whether you believe in prayer or not, light a candle, say one, or sacrifice a virgin - good thoughts would be oh so appreciated today. the Husband has an interview @ 10 am today...

he needs a job. and i need to stop being the man about the house.

i heart field trips.

2008-09-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

last week, the Husband mentioned that the Navy was offering tours of one of it's ships at the nearby Seal Beach Naval Weapons Station...one of the very few since 9/11.

i immediately got all tingly. you mean a field trip? an honest-to-goodness field trip?
great googly moogly. let me sit down and catch my breath.

i've always loved field trips. we went on several a year, right up to junior high. imagine my horror when the Sis-in-Law said that the schools only do one maybe two a year. budgets and all.

as a kid, i remember going to the local Wonder Bread bakery...gaaaaaah - the aromas from that heavenly place still haunt me to this day - and, i believe is one of the reasons i'm a 'pretty plus.' i have no willpower when it comes to fresh-baked goods.

we went to the local missions - the ones Fr. Junipero Sierra started all up and down California. even now, at 46, i really, really want to do a road trip and visit all the missions.

we visited local tide pools - where i was terrified i was going to fall on my bum and be laughed at.

klutzy then, klutzy still.

heck - we even went to the Star Kist tuna processing plant. the smell's memorable there as well, but for all the wrong reasons.

so when the Husband mentioned this tour, heck, i was at the door with my dang camera, wagging my tail; arewegoingforawalktellmewe'regoingforawalkilovegoingforawalkcanwegonownownowNOW?

i even had it all planned out: i had to go in to work for a couple of hours, and my Salt Mine is right up the road from the Weapons Station. Husband can come pick me up, we head on over, tour the dang thing, i risk National Security by taking pictures and we all go home, happy as larks. after all, who's gonna be interested in touring a Naval frigate?

how about enough people to make an hour and half line waiting to get on board?
oh effffffffffffffffffffffff.
i love Disneyland. i don't wait an hour to get on a ride there, i'm sure not gonna for a ship.

after a brief confab, we decided the best course of action would be to get there first thing Sunday morning, be there when the gates opened and slaughter anyone who got in our way.
it's a little harsh, but remember: i drive Southern California freeways.

the plan worked perfectly. we waited maybe 15-20 minutes before we got on board, and the whole thing took about an hour.

and i of course, risked National Security.

they do like things shiny.

he likes things that makes noise.

and i liked the fact that i crawled both up AND down two of these without falling or otherwise embarassing myself.

i love field trips.

Alton's coming to live with ME.

2008-09-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

me. not you.
Alton Brown is coming to live at my house. in October. just in time for my wedding anniversary.

OK. so he's coming to my Nintendo DS. he's still coming to my house.

just in time - they're releasing a game for the Wii and Nintendo DS - Iron Chef America. you can battle Mario, Cat or Morimoto, while Alton runs commentary.

oh you KNOW i'm getting this.

how old am i again?

what the heck. the game is WAY cheaper than the macro lens i want.

*sigh*

who says you can't buy happiness? you just gotta know how much happiness you can afford.

well. they'll let ANYONE on the internet these days, won't they?

2008-09-11T17:22:00.001-07:00

well, look who's back, kids.

and i think the only reason i AM posting is because the Husband is not currently at our domicile. he's been hogging the damn thing worse-n-a crack whore.

hmmm. crack whore. that's a little strong, isn't it? so - where were we?

Brendan
after all was said and done, the first job of 2008 gave him the heave-ho. sorry, but we can't afford you. sorry, but i think you should get a clue as to how much money you make and spend before you do anything else and inconvenience anyone else in your current or former employ.

still bitter? you betcha.

he's been looking off and on, now since he's officially out of work, more on. i talked him into driving up to his brother's in Northern California to do some camping with the Bro and Bro's boys. good on them, a little male bonding is always in order. it also gave B a chance to do a road trip with the new wheels.

oh and to not shower for three or four days. gross. OH and to go poo in a hole in the ground. totally gross. once again, the Princess sez i like camping at the Marriott.

he was gone for a week. i missed him like crazy.

back to the unemployment crap - fingers crossed, kids, he got a call from a VP of HR for a company he had gotten a hit on, they want to talk to him next Tuesday. it would do everyone in the family good to have him working again. all i can say is, thank God i'm covering him on my insurance and the car payment. it would be beyond stressful (or more than it is, already) if i had that on my plate.

it's all about me. deal with it.
after all, it is my blog.

needless to say, it's been a little stressful here, and, with no 'net to vent on, well...i remember why i have a blog - it's cheaper than therapy.

last week, i had a breakdown. the kind where you work too late, walk out to your car, start crying and cry the whole.way.home.

yeah. that's fun.

at my work, we've been offloading work to overseas vendors - that sucks. it was hard enough to clear reports when everything was in one house, much less when it's in two overseas locations. so as our vendor commitments grew, so did my job. add to that we have two deadlines for our paging departments - one @ 11am, the 2nd @ 5.

i wasn't making a 5pm cut off, much less an 11am one. i hated my job.
i hated myself.

but after crying for an hour after i got home, i knew something had to give. i couldn't any more.

the next day - we on the reports team had a meeting with the graphics manager. what's going on, why are we having problems, blah, blah, blah. she started out with some other points, then went around the room and asked my compadres what teams they were responsible for, what they did, and did they feel overwhelmed?

girl #1 - oh, i care for one team. everything is good.
girl #2 - me - i care for one team, no problems here!
me - um, i care for 7 teams, i create the schedules we use and I AM COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED!

hmmmm - balance in all things, and there ain't none herebouts. the manager, having pity on me, split up seven of my teams between the three of us, and gave girl #1 one of my schedules to care for.

and yes. i feel better. but, after the meeting, the manager (who also hosted one of my showers before we got married, i've worked for for years and am friends with) came by my desk and says, 'do you feel better?'

well, yes. it's just been so much, and...

manager: i know. you've got too much on your plate, and not only that, i know it's bad when i see you and you look like shi....ca-ca.

well. that's reassuring. not only am i not doing my job, but apparently i look like poop.

manager - you lost your smile. i need that.

i do too. i just wasn't finding anything to smile about.

i am now.
now just give my Husband a job and i'll be freaking hysterical.

i started school Tuesday - a photography class offered by the local community college. 10 weeks of one night a week that's all about me.

i'm so superficial.

we'll be covering f-stops and all the stuff i have no idea how to do. then at the end of the class we go on two field trips - Balboa Island and another location to be named later.

cool, huh?

i'm really excited about it. i cannot wait till Tuesdays.

there you go, Gentle Reader. a way too long synopsis on what's going on in our bloody boring lives.

and to think you waited weeks for this.

it's good to be back.

totally messed up.

2008-08-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

what do you get when you get a virus on your computer.

s-c-r-e-w-e-d.

so i am out of the information superhighway, on the side of it, cooling my heels.

hopefully it'll just be a week.

see you soon.

take a photo. it lasts longer.

2008-08-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

just some shots from yesterday. the surfers were out en force.

i just loved how this guy's board popped out against all the gray of the day and the ocean.

love sandpipers. spent the better part of an hour chasing them little buggers. they probably thought i was a stalker.

i love the beach. have i mentioned i loved my camera, too?